The Best 9 Aches And Pains Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Aches And Pains jokes. There are some aches and pains toothache jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these aches and pains neck pain puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 Funniest Aches And Pains Jokes and Puns

I told my wife I was gonna start smoking pot. She said if I did she'd leave me. I guess it's true what they say...

Marijuana truly is an effective way to get rid of aches and pains.

A 70 year old guy goes to see his doctor

He tells the doctor he got himself a 22 year old sugar baby and is having sex 3 times a week.

The doctor asks if he has any aching joints or pain, and the guy tells him no.

The doctor then asks if he thinks he has an STD, or has had any itching, and the guy says no, and goes on to say how happy he is.

The doctor finally says, "If everything with you is fine, then why are you telling me about having so much sex?"

The guy says, "Telling you? I'm telling everybody!"

I'm trying to build interest for my new children's book

It's about a vixen whose tail hurts, and each page after the introduction is a new animal trying to help her heal or deal with the pain. Sadly, every publisher I've contacted has rejected the manuscript outright.

I'm not giving up, though. "For Fox' ache" will find it's audience someday.

A blonde walks into a doctor's office, the doctor asks what's wrong and the blonde says "My entire body hurts!"

"Oh?" Said the doctor, "like a whole body ache?"

"No!" said the blonde "like everywhere is searing pain! Here I'll show you!"

The blonde pokes her shoulder "That really hurt!"

She pokes her stomach "That really hurt too!"

She bends down and pokes her knees "Both of those hurt super bad! Can you help me doctor!?"

The doctor looks at her, sighs, and says "Yes I can help you, in fact I solved your problem"

"What is it!?"

"Your finger's broken"

Most of the time

Most of the time, when you cry, no one notices your tears.

Most of the time, when you hurt, no one notices your pain.

Most of the time, you hold it in, and no one feels the ache.

Most of the time.

Until you fart loudly in public.


Two elderly gentlemen from a retirement center were sitting on a bench under a tree.

One turns to the other and says, "John, I'm 83 years old now and I'm just full of aches and pains. I know you're about my age, how do you feel?"

John replies, "I feel just like a newborn baby."

"Really! Like a newborn baby, you say?"

"Yep. No hair, no teeth, I wear a diaper, and I even drool on myself."

Fighting Against Real Truths

I thought I knew what you really were
I thought you could ease my pain
Put an end to all this aching
And make me laugh again

I've known your kind before
I thought you weren't the same
Just trying to get in my pants
And fill my head with shame

I've held onto you for too long
So now I'll let you free
Nobody to witness
It's only you and me

Sure doesn't come out easy
But it's coming from the heart
Luckily no one can see
That it wasn't just a fart

An aching back sent me stumbling to the drugstore for relief.



After a search, I found what I was looking for: a selection of heating pads specifically for people with back painβ€”all on the bottom shelf.

Two old guys were sitting under a tree, watching the sun go down.



One says, β€œYou know, I’m 84 years old and my body is full of aches and pains. You’re about my age. How do you feel?”

The other guy says, β€œOh, I feel like a newborn baby.”

β€œReally,” says the first guy.

β€œYep,” says the second one. β€œNo teeth, no hair and I think I just wet my pants.”

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the aches and pains tooth ache jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working aches and pains tooth pain piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

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