Ache Jokes
59 ache jokes and hilarious ache puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about ache that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Make your next physical discomfort a little more amusing with this collection of ache jokes. Perfect for anyone who suffers from an occasional stomach ache, ear ache, or back ache, these jokes put an entertaining spin on the common pains of everyday life. From pangs of hunger to sore spots everywhere, laugh away your hurts with these funny ache jokes.
Quick Jump To
- Short Ache Jokes
- Ache One Liners
- Stomach Ache Jokes
- Back Ache Jokes
- Tooth Ache Jokes
- Body Ache Jokes
- Ear Ache Jokes
- More Ache Jokes
Funniest Ache Short Jokes
Short ache jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The ache humour may include short scratch jokes also.
- My 8 year old daughter made this up today. Why did the car have a belly ache? Because it had gas.
- My Dad had a headache the other day so I asked if he needed any pills. He said "The only pills that could have stopped this head ache should have been taken 16 years ago"
- if it wasn't love, why does my heart ache so much whenever i see her? I asked myself as i went to order my 3rd big mac
- Had a bunch of missed calls yesterday... They were from my buddy Mike complaining he was sore all over.
I think I missed Mike ache day. - Every time my mom burns my grilled cheese sandwich I get a stomach ache... I guess I'm black toast intolerant.
- What's the difference between an oak tree and a tight shoe? One makes acorns, the other makes corns ache.
- Why was Simba looking forward to his paracetamol wearing off? Because he just couldn't wait to be aching.
- I had heart palpitations, sweating and aches on the day of my first Covid-19 Vaccine But once I got in and actually had the jab I was fine!
- the vet told me hes going to have to put my dog down i said why whats wrong with him... he said nothing my arms are aching
- Agatha Christie Agatha Christie would write one mystery novel after another without pause until her arms ached.
She was diagnosed with Marple tunnel syndrome.
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Ache One Liners
Which ache one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with ache? I can suggest the ones about ease and pain.
- What do you call 1000 aches? A *kilohurtz*.
- how many Scots does it take to screw in a lightbulb? ACH! It's nae THAT dark in here.
- Got terrible back ache so I'm seeing my Egyptian specialist later. He's a cairopractor.
- What do you get when you eat a bunch of uranium? Atomic ache
- There is only one type of cake I don't like Stomach ache
- Why does Pete take painkillers? For Pete's ache
- Why did the Cannibal logician get a stomach ache? Someone he ate disagreed with him.
- What did the chick pea say when it got a stomach ache? I falafel.
- Why did Peter put Icy-Hot on his sore shoulder? For Pete's ache.
- knock-knock knock-knock
who is there
ach
ach who
bless you - What do ghosts take when they have a stomach ache? PhanTUMS
- What do you get hanging from Apple trees? Arm ache.
- Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Ach.
Ach who?
Bless you! Need a tissue? - What does a Jew, in Poland with a Stomach ache have? The Auschits
- My wife gives incredible head aches...
Stomach Ache Jokes
Here is a list of funny stomach ache jokes and even better stomach ache puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- What do you call a stomach ache you get from eating a Cuban sandwich? Castro-intestinal distress.
- I had a stomach ache... My SO asked what's wrong,
I said "I have a clog in my intestines"
she responds with "you need to stop eating shoes" - I'm suffering from a more rare kind of stomach ache. It's called Indiegestion, I doubt you've heard of it before.
- I hit someone with my car and ate them afterwards. It gave me a stomach ache. It was a case of hit and runs.
- I think I'm allergic to cats. They give me stomach aches.
- What gave the blonde a stomach ache? Nivea milk.
- What does h**... call a stomach ache? Mein Cramps
Back Ache Jokes
Here is a list of funny back ache jokes and even better back ache puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- those old boy bands get all the luck. My back aches all the time and I'm not even 40 yet. However, Backstreet's back... alright.
- This headache sure is something else! Maybe its a back ache...
- What do you call a vegetable with back pain? A spine-ache
Tooth Ache Jokes
Here is a list of funny tooth ache jokes and even better tooth ache puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- At what time does a Toddler's tooth ache? Tooth hurty
Body Ache Jokes
Here is a list of funny body ache jokes and even better body ache puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Wife : My body is aching. Husband : Yes but you are a queen.
Ear Ache Jokes
Here is a list of funny ear ache jokes and even better ear ache puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- I'm so pathetic with women that when I called one of the s**... lines .. I got a reply Sorry honey, I got an ear ache today
Fun-Filled Ache Jokes to Boost Your Mood
What funny jokes about ache you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean damage jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make ache pranks.
Chinese Sick Day
h**... Chow calls in to work and say,
"Hey boss, I no come work today, I very sick. Got headache, stomach ache, and legs hurt. I no come work today"
The boss says, "You know something h**... Chow, I really need you today. When I get sick like you do, I go to my wife and ask for s**.... That make everything better and I go to work. You try that."
Two hours later h**... Chow calls again and says,
"I try what you say and I feel great! I be at work soon. You have really nice house by the way!"
Chinese man calls in sick
h**... Chow calls in work and say, "Hey, I no come work today. I really sick, got headache, stomach ache and legs hurt, I no come to work."
The boss says, "You know what h**..., I really need you today. When I feel sick like you do, I go to my wife and ask her for s**.... That makes everything better and I go to work. You try that."
Two hours later h**... Chow calls again. "I do what you say and I feel great. I be at work soon. You got nice house."
Two cavemen are waiting at the doctor's office
The first says, "Me name Phil. Me get bee sting. Why you here?"
The second one, covered in blood, smiles and says, "Me name Mike. Me get hit by boulder during rock slide."
The first says, "That must hurt! Why you look so happy?"
The second says, "Me celebrating. It's Mike Ache Day!"
Helpful Daughter
Little Susie, a six year old , complained:"Mother, I've got a stomach ache."
"That's because our stomach is empty", the mother replied. "You would feel better if you had something in it."
That afternoon her daddy came complaining that he had a severe headache all day.
Susie perked up: " That's because it's empty", she said. "You'd feel better if you had something in it."
A SHORT HISTORY OF MEDICINE:
"Doctor, I have an ear ache."
2000 B.C. - "Here, eat this root."
1000 B.C. - "That root is heathen, say this prayer."
1850 A.D. - "That prayer is superstition, drink this potion."
1940 A.D. - "That potion is snake oil, s**... this pill."
1985 A.D. - "That pill is ineffective, take this antibiotic."
2017 A.D. - "That antibiotic is artificial. Here, eat this root!"
Lee has a terrible headache
Lee calls in work and say "I no come work today. I really sick, got headache, stomach ache, and legs hurt. I no come to work today."
His boss says "I really need you today, Lee. You know, whenever I am not feeling OK like you, I go ask my wife for s**.... I always feel better after."
A couple of hours later, Lee calls in. "I do what you say. I feel great now. I be at work soon. You have nice house"
Love Story
I shall seek and find you.
I shall take you to bed and control you.
I will make you ache, shake and sweat until you grunt and groan.
I will make you beg for mercy.
I will exhaust you to the point that you will be relieved when I leave you.
And you will be weak for days.
All my love,
The Flu
My wife said, "it looks uncomfortable growing all that f**... hair under your nose..."
must ache
Billy Bob calls in to work and says, "Hey, boss I really sick. I got headache, stomach ache and my legs hurt. I not come work."
The boss says, "You know Billy Bob, I really need you today. When I feel like this I go to my wife and tell her to give me s**.... That makes everything better and I can go to work. You should try that."
Two hours later, Billy Bob calls again: "Boss, I do what you say and feel great. I be at work soon. You got nice house."
I'm trying to build interest for my new children's book
It's about a v**... whose tail hurts, and each page after the introduction is a new animal trying to help her heal or deal with the pain. Sadly, every publisher I've contacted has rejected the manuscript outright.
I'm not giving up, though. "For Fox' ache" will find it's audience someday.
A blonde walks into a doctor's office, the doctor asks what's wrong and the blonde says "My entire body hurts!"
"Oh?" Said the doctor, "like a whole body ache?"
"No!" said the blonde "like everywhere is searing pain! Here I'll show you!"
The blonde pokes her shoulder "That really hurt!"
She pokes her stomach "That really hurt too!"
She bends down and pokes her knees "Both of those hurt super bad! Can you help me doctor!?"
The doctor looks at her, sighs, and says "Yes I can help you, in fact I solved your problem"
"What is it!?"
"Your finger's broken"
Put Something In It
Little Susie, a six-year-old, complained, "Mother, I've got a stomach ache."
"That's because your stomach is empty," the mother replied. "You would feel better if you had something in it."
That afternoon, her father came complaining that he had a severe headache all day. Susie perked up, "That's because it's empty," she said.
"You'd feel better if you had something in it."
Most of the time
Most of the time, when you cry, no one notices your tears.
Most of the time, when you hurt, no one notices your pain.
Most of the time, you hold it in, and no one feels the ache.
Most of the time.
Until you f**... loudly in public.
A man had a terrible stomach ache and rushed into the restroom
A janitor walked into his moaning and groaning. Concerned, he knocked on the stall and asked:
"What's the matter?"
The man replied:
"Solid, liquid, gas... maybe even some plasma..."
TIL It's a myth that people's joints hurt because it's cold and damp
Turns out it's just a mist ache.
What's the worst or completely unfunniest joke that you can't tell without laughing?
It doesn't even have to make sense. For me it's the following joke that for some reason I can't tell without getting a jaw ache throughout.
There was a man and three cows. He went to the first cow and said, Are you a man? The cow said, No.
He went to the second cow and asked, Are you a man? The cow said, No.
He went to the third cow and asked, Are you a man? The cow said, Yes.
