Accuracy Jokes

Following is our collection of accurately humor and psychological one-liner funnies working better than reddit jokes. They include Accuracy puns for adults, dirty wwi jokes or clean inaccurate gags for kids.

There is an abundance of target jokes out there. You're fortunate to read a set of the 7 funniest jokes on accuracy. Full with funny wisecracks it is even funnier than any spacetime witze you can hear about accuracy.

The Best jokes about Accuracy

The Psychic

Fearing her marriage is crumbling, a middle-aged woman visits a highly respected psychic renown for the accuracy of her predictions.

In a dark and hazy room, she tells the psychic of her fears and growing unhappiness.

The mystic peers into her crystal ball, then looks at the woman and delivers the grave news: "There's no easy way to say this... Your husband is planning to move all of the money in your joint account to an offshore bank, then file for divorce and marry his tennis instructor." She sighs heavily, peers again into the crystal ball, then gasps. "Wait!" she says. "You must prepare yourself. Before he can do these things, he will die a violent and horrible death."

Visibly shaken, the woman stares at the psychic's lined face, then at the crystal ball, then down at her hands. She takes a few deep breaths to compose herself.

She simply has to know.

She meets the fortune teller's gaze, steadies her voice, and asks: "Will I be acquitted?"

The Anti-Thieves Machine

Science is amazing. Some european scientists made a breakthrough and invented an Anti-Thieves Machine. It detects and catches the thieves in the streets of various cities through the world with an accuracy of 99,9%! Of course that various countries were interested. Germany got 2, France got 3, Greece got 4, Italy got 5 and Portugal, true to its *showoff* image, got 10.

After one hour, in Germany, 100 hundred thieves got caught. In France more than 250 thieves got caught. In Greece more than 350 thieves were caught. In Italy, more than 500 thieves were caught. In Portugal, after 30 minutes, all the machines were stolen.

The keynote speaker for the medical conference walked up to the stage. "Before I begin," he started, "is there anyone in the audience from Connecticut? "

A couple members of the audience raised their hands. "Ok, thank you. You may put your hands down; I needed to check the accuracy of my CT scans."

Can a ninja throw any pointy object with lethal accuracy ?


I work in a courthouse, and this is my favorite joke due to its accuracy: What's the difference between a federal judge and God?

God doesn't think he's a federal judge.

Determination. Precision. Focus. Accuracy.

All attributes I have while shaving my pubes that I should really put into other aspects of my life.

I don't know why I'm not successful yet! I learned all the rules!

Success is 50% attitude, 50% hard work, and 2% math accuracy

Use only working piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Note that dirty and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. You can seriously offend people by saying creepy dark humor words to them.

Joko Jokes