Accross Jokes

Following is our collection of thro humor and upstream one-liner funnies working better than reddit jokes. They include Accross puns for adults, dirty coast jokes or clean vessel gags for kids.

There is an abundance of fing jokes out there. You're fortunate to read a set of the 5 funniest jokes on accross. Full with funny wisecracks it is even funnier than any yout witze you can hear about accross.

The Best jokes about Accross

A genie appears from a lamp..

A man was dusting off a lamp he found in this attic when a genie appears. The genie grants the man three wishes but says whatever he gets his wife will receive double.

The man thinks and wishes for a new car. Poof. A new car appears in the man's driveway. And 2 more appear on the street for his wife.

The man then wishes for a new house. Poof. The man magically appeared in his new house, and accross the street 2 more houses appear for his wife.

The man then says "OK genie, now beat me half to death."

A tale of two rednecks

Two rednecks live on either side of a river. One named Billy, the other named Clarence. Well, every day the both go to the bank on their side of the river and yell insults at each other. One day, a construction company moves in a builds a bridge accross the river. Billy wakes up one morning and sees the newly finished bridge and declares to his wife "I'm gonna go beat up that Clarence feller once and fer all!" He sets out for the bridge, but, just as he's about to cross, he sees a sign and reads to himself "Clarence: 8 ft." Needless to say he decided beating Clarence up wasn't such a good idea.

Not my own joke. Heard in on a bus trip.

When traveling the coast, a struggling merchant and his wife come accross a giant beached whale with gold coins oozing from its mouth. When his wife asked if they should take the gold for themselves, the merchant replied...

"Midas whale"

A ship's captain is running accross the deck....

He gets to the back overlooking the sea and starts undoing his pants. One of the crew sees this and asks him: "what in God's name are you doing sir?". The captain turns his head and says "I aft to pee".

She was just a prostitute...

but she had the prettiest face I'd ever come accross.


Use only working piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Note that dirty and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. You can seriously offend people by saying creepy dark humor words to them.

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