The Best 30 Accounting Jokes
Following is our collection of funny Accounting jokes. There are some accounting civil jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.
Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these accounting fucking bank account puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.
Top 10 of the Funniest Accounting Jokes and Puns
e.e. cummings went into a store to buy 17 pounds worth of goods.
He forgot his wallet, but he took his pen and wrote four words down on an accounting ledger. i'm not gonna tell you what the words were, but they paid the bill and he got two vowels and a capital back.
A young accountant, straight out of uni, applies for a job...
...advertised in the Manchester Evening News. He is interviewed by the owner of a small business who has built it up from scratch. "I need someone with an accounting degree," says the man, "but mainly I'm looking for someone to do my worrying for me."
"How do you mean?" says the accountant. "I have lots of things to worry about, but I want someone else to worry about money matters."
"OK," says the accountant. "How much are you offering?"
"You can start on seventy-five thousand," says the owner.
"Seventy-five thousand pounds. How can a business like this afford to pay so much?"
"That," says the man, "is your first worry."
The Accounting major asks: How much will it cost?
The Physics major asks: How does it work?
The Engineering major asks: How do you build it?
The Philosophy major asks: Do you want fries with that?
If your debits and credits don't equal,
then your assets in jail.
Every Thursday, I do live nude modeling in one of the courses at my university
It's an accounting class and they're none too happy about it.
The owners of a micro-brewery are sitting around a table having their monthly board meeting.
The accountant stands up and says "So, let's see, this month, we lost ... hmm... hmm... Hey! Does anybody have a black pen?"
The CEO says "I can go buy one."
The accountant replies "Yeah, but then we won't need it anymore."
Accounting for news media
Dr Cash
Cr Controversy
Why did the accountant cross the road?
Because that's what they did last year.
What did the banker say to the tongue when he rejected his loan application?
There's no accounting for taste.
What's accounting?
Something Italians learn in preschool.
An office worker opened his pay envelope to find
his check was short $100. He called the accounting department to voice his complaint.
"You're right, we made a mistake," said the clerk, "but last week we overpaid you $100 and we didn't hear you complaining then."
"Look," said the man, "I can overlook one mistake. But two weeks in a row?"
You can explore accounting agriculture reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean accounting finance dad jokes. There are also accounting puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
What subject did Dracula major in during college?
AcCOUNTing
This joke must be on a popsicle stick somewhere.
How many potatoes does it take to kill an irishman?
Accounting for the toxins in the skin of an unwashed potato... about 457
Degrees
The graduate with a science degree asks,
'Why does it work?'
The graduate with an engineering degree asks,
'How does it work?'
The graduate with an accounting degree asks,
'How much will it cost?'
The graduate with a liberal arts degree asks,
'Do you want fries with that?'
The five senses have had massive lay-offs in their financial department.
There's no accounting for taste.
Why do rasps work in accounting?
They're great at filing.
If you budget for food...
... Is that accounting for taste?
A person with a science degree asks "why does it work?" A person with an engineering degree asks: "how does it work?" A person with an accounting degree asks: "how much does it cost?" A person with an art degree asks:
"do you want fries with that?"
When you think about it, the idea of a food bank is kind of ridiculous.
There's no accounting for taste.
Why did the chef study accounting?
He wanted to cook books.
The benefit of taking a job as an accounting teacher in a community college
You never have to guess if you'll be broke.
The opposite of self-deprecating humor is accounting
Instead of making jokes at your own expense, you makes jokes about other people's expenses.
Why should you not rely on your CPA for restaurant recommendations?
There's no accounting for taste.
Hot girl in accounting?
It's a thot that counts
I met a hooker once who tried to quit it all and go to college to get an accounting degree but didn't get accepted into university.
But it's the thot that counts.
I hired a prostitute to do my accounting work
She failed miserably, but it's the thot that counts.
What do you call the accounting program for a manure seller?
SpreadShite.
Accounting is hard
I guess you could say its mentally taxing
My Dad had 2 very attractive sisters that worked in the accounting office of the same company...
...it was the department of fine aunts.
What does a graduate student with a science degree ask? "Why does it work?" What does a graduate student with an engineering degree ask? "How does it work?" What does a graduate student with an accounting degree ask? "How much will it cost?"
What does a graduate student with a liberal
arts degree ask? "you want fries with that?"
Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the accounting budget jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.
We suggest to use only working accounting tax accountant piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.