The Best 33 Accountants Jokes

Following is our collection of Accountants jokes which are very funny. There are some accountants females jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud. Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these accountants surgeons puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Funny Accountants Jokes and Puns

Why can't accountants get library cards?

They're book-keepers.

Where do homeless accountants live?

In a tax shelter.

Blame GROCO PCA

Why are the best accountants twins from Prague?

Because they always double Czech their work!

How accountants date

Your food was 100 bucks, the wine 30. I can buy you one beer at the bar, otherwise it's more cost-effective just to get a prostitute.

Why are all of the accountants supporting Hillary Clinton?

They want to save 20%.


Accountants aren't boring people

They just get excited about boring things.

Why do accountants make the best serial killers?

Because they're calculating.

Accountants are very clever opponents.

They are used to being underestimated.

Why did the Founding Fathers hire accountants from Prague?

They needed a system of Czechs and balances.

Why do accountants make good lovers?

Q: Why do accountants make good lovers?
A: They're great with figures.

What do you call 2 accountants having a threesome with a girl?

Double-entry

You can explore accountants lawyers reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean accountants auditor dad jokes. There are also accountants puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


Why do economists exist?

So accountants have someone to laugh at.

I'm sick and tired of hearing the US doesn't have Checks and Balances!

What do you think the Koch brother's accountants do?

Why did the owner of the pear loaning company make his parents his accountants?

Because they were his pear rental figures.

What were the two accountants hoping for..

What were the two accountants hoping for when they went halves in a chocolate bar?

That they would break even.

Why do accountants make good lovers?

They're great with figures.

Why are cowboys bad at being accountants?

Because they always round up.

What do you call an MMF threesome made up of accountants?

Double entry!

Why are there no midget accountants?

Because they always come up a little short.


Why do accountants hate pre-tax income?

It's gross.

[Accountancy joke] What do you call a threesome between 2 male accountants and 1 female?

Double entry.

*Badum dun tssss*

Team lunch at the steakhouse

To celebrate the close of a good fiscal year, the company's CEO takes his team of accountants out for a fancy lunch.

The waiter comes by and asks, "Are you ready to order?"

"Yes. I'll have the steak," says the CEO.

"Very good, sir," says the waiter, "and for your vegetables?"

"Oh, they'll have steak too," replies the CEO.

What's an accountants favorite band?

DA/DC

Why do mummies make bad accountants?

Because they are deorganized ^^^I ^^^am ^^^so ^^^sorry

Why do accountants make the best lovers?

Cause they're skilled at double entry

How the accountants cheer up their parties?

They invite a funeral director

Why are jewish accountants so good?

Because they concentrate

Why do Canadians make such good accountants?

Because they're type eh?

Why are accountants big grammer nazis?

They get scared when there is no Capital.

Why aren't accountants ever invited to company swim parties?

Their job requires that they point out any shrinkage.

Four surgeons

Four surgeons sit around discussing their favorite patients.

The first surgeon says, "I like operating on librarians. When you open them up, everything is in alphabetical order".

The second surgeon says, "I like operating on accountants. When you open them up, everything is in numerical order".

The third surgeon says, "I like operating on electricians. When you open them up, everything is color coded."

The fourth surgeon says, "I like operating on politicians."

The other three surgeons look at each other in disbelief.

The fourth surgeon continues, "Because they're heartless, gutless, spineless, and the ass and head are interchangeable."

How many accountants does it take to change a light bulb?

One. They don't have a sense of humour.

What do accountants use for birth control?

Their personality.

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the accountants tax accountant jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working accountants fucking bank account piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes