Accosted Jokes
7 accosted jokes and hilarious accosted puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about accosted that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Amusing & Witty Accosted Jokes for Laughter-Filled Fun
What is a good accosted joke to make people laugh? Check out this list of funny stories that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth.
Got accosted by a bunch of guys proclaiming the end is nigh…
First one was positive for covid, the second one had laryngitis, next one a s**...'s cough and the last one had a sore t**...…
I think they were the Four hoarse men of the apocalypse.
A particularly dirty shabby looking woman asks for couple of dollars
A woman was walking down the street when she was
accosted by a particularly dirty and shabby-looking
homeless woman who asked her for a couple of dollars for dinner.
The woman took out her wallet, extracted ten dollars
and asked, "If I give you this money, will you buy
some wine with it instead of dinner?"
"No," I had to stop drinking years ago, the homeless
woman replied.
"Will you use it to go shopping instead of buying
food?" the woman asked.
"No," I don't waste time shopping, the homeless woman
said. "I need to spend all my time trying to stay
alive."
"Will you spend this on a beauty salon instead of
food?" the woman asked.
"Are you NUTS!" replied the homeless woman. "I haven't
had my hair done in 20 years!"
"Well," said the woman, I'm not going to give you the
money. Instead, I'm going t o take you out for dinner
with my husband and myself
tonight.
The homeless Woman was astounded. "Won't your husband
be furious with you for doing that? I know I'm dirty,
and I probably smell pretty disgusting."
The woman replied, "That's okay. It's important for
him to see what a woman looks like after she has given
up shopping, hair appointments and wine.
Three little old ladies
Three little old ladies were enjoying an evening on the town, when suddenly they were accosted by a f**.... The first little old lady had a s**...! Then the second one had a s**...! But the third one refused to touch it.
What do you call a group of medical professionals who navigate around the Horn of Africa without being accosted by pirates?
Doctors without boarders.
A German woman was walking down a dark alley when she got accosted by eleven men...
...who tear her clothes apart and start to r**... and m**... her. The woman shouts 'Nien! Nien!', so two of them left.
Even though Sea World is shut down, the animals still need to be taken care of
Obama answers the call for volunteers. On his first day, they assign him to feed the baby dolphins.
As he is doing so, another volunteer accosts him "Our country is in crisis. Don't you have anything better to do?"
He replied "I think I'm serving a youthful porpoise."
A man was walking on the road when he was accosted by two muggers who attacked him.
The man fought bravely but the muggers beat him senseless and proceeded to go through his pockets.
"There's only $2.75 in here!" said one of the muggers, looking through the man's wallet.
"You mean to say that you fought us like this for $2.75!?" the other mugger asked the man incredulously.
"Wha... that's what you wanted?" replied the man dazedly, "I thought you were after the $300 in my shoe."
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