JokoJokes

Accordion Jokes

280 accordion jokes and hilarious accordion puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about accordion that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Tired of the same old jokes? Check out these hilarious jokes you're sure to love if you're an accordion player, or just appreciate theatrical humor! From comparing an accordion player to a guitar player to imagining the conversations of a comedic accordion, you won't want to miss out on these jokes!

Funniest Accordion Short Jokes

Short accordion jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The accordion humour may include short panel jokes also.

  1. Accordion to a recent survey, 7 out of 10 people don't notice when a word in a sentence is replaced by a musical instrument.
  2. Accordion to scientific studies, 90% .. of people do not realise I replaced the beginning of this joke with a musical instrument.
  3. How do you make an accordion sound like a synthesizer? Put it through a wood chipper first.
  4. Why did the accordion player sell his instrument and switch to the drums? He wanted to play something less complicated.
  5. Why did the accordion player bring his instrument to a bar fight? He knew it had the potential to be a deadly weapon.
  6. Why did the bartender refuse to serve the accordionist? He had one too many buttons already.
  7. What do you call a musician who can play multiple instruments but always chooses the accordion? A firm believer in the “squeeze is worth the juice.”
  8. Why did the polka musician’s wife file for divorce? She couldn’t handle all the band’s constant “in and out” motions!
  9. What did the guitarist say to the accordion player? Your instrument sounds like a dying cat, but at least it’s not a banjo.
  10. Why did the scarecrow learn to play the accordion? He wanted to be outstanding in his field.

Share These Accordion Jokes With Friends




Accordion One Liners

Which accordion one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with accordion? I can suggest the ones about concert and composer.

  1. What do you call a group of accordions? A squeezebox of horrors.
  2. What do you call an accordionist who can play any style of music? A multitasker.
  3. How can you tell when an accordion is out of tune? When it sounds normal.
  4. Why did the tomato turn red? It saw the accordion player undressing.
  5. Why did the accordion teacher go to jail? He got caught in a squeeze play.
  6. Why was the polka musician a good gardener? He knew how to pick the right tune-ips!
  7. What’s the difference between an accordion and a chainsaw? You can tune a chainsaw.
  8. What do you call a group of accordion players? A squeezebox symphony.
  9. Why did the accordion player go to jail? He was caught playing polka in a no-polka zone.
  10. Why did the accordion player join a gym? He wanted to work on his bellow-flex.
  11. Why are accordions like chameleons? They can blend into any musical genre.
  12. Why did the chicken cross the road? To get away from the accordion player.
  13. What do you call a group of accordions at the bottom of the ocean? A good start.
  14. How do you get an accordion player off your porch? Pay for the pizza.
  15. Why did the spider start playing the accordion? To weave beautiful melodies into its web.

Accordion Band Jokes

Here is a list of funny accordion band jokes and even better accordion band puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • What’s the definition of perfect pitch for an accordion? When you can toss it in the dumpster without hitting the sides.
  • Why did the polka band have such a large fan base? Because their music was so a-squeeze-tic!
  • Why did the polka band get a great deal on their new instruments? They bought them at a polka-dot sale!
  • How do you get two accordion players to play in perfect unison? Shoot one.
  • Why did the accordion player refuse to join a band? He didn’t want to be boxed in by the other instruments.
  • What do you call a beautiful woman on an accordion player’s arm? A tattoo.
  • Why did the accordion player get kicked out of the band? He couldn’t find the right key, even with a map and a compass.
  • How do you prevent an accordion player from playing? Take away their sheet music and watch them panic.
  • Why did the chicken join the polka band? Because it had perfect drum-sticks!
  • Why did the polka band start playing during the parade? They couldn’t resist the urge to polka around!

Accordion Heaven And Hell Jokes

Here is a list of funny accordion heaven and hell jokes and even better accordion heaven and hell puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • Why did the accordion player go to heaven? Because he’s got a lot of bellows!
  • In accordion heaven, everyone plays in perfect harmony. In accordion hell, it’s nothing but chaos and dissonance.
  • How do you know you’re at an accordion party in hell? Everyone’s dancing, but no one’s having fun.
  • Why did the devil invite an accordion player to hell? To teach others the true meaning of “squeeze till it hurts.”
  • Why did the accordion player go to hell? He tried to outplay the devil in a musical duel, but lost by one too many polka notes.
  • What’s the difference between an accordion heaven and hell? In heaven, the music is divine, and in hell, it’s an eternal polka party.
  • What do accordion heaven and hell have in common? They both make angels weep, but for entirely different reasons.
  • Why are there no accordion players in heaven? They can’t get past Saint Peter’s “No Squeezeboxes” sign.
  • What did the accordion player say when he got to heaven? “I hope there’s an eternal jam session up here!”
  • Why do accordion players always end up in hell? They can never decide if they’re playing heavenly music or just having a hell of a time.
Accordion joke

Accordion Teacher Jokes

Here is a list of funny accordion teacher jokes and even better accordion teacher puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • What do you call an accordion teacher who can play both the piano and the accordion? A halfWit.
  • Why do accordion teachers always sit at the back of the orchestra? So they can keep an eye on everyone else.
  • Why do accordion teachers make terrible fishermen? They always try to reel in the fish with a bellows.
  • Why did the accordion teacher get kicked out of the library? He couldn’t stop playing in the quiet section.
  • How do you make an accordion teacher’s car more aerodynamic? Remove the accordion.
  • Why do accordion teachers love to play at funerals? It’s the only time everyone’s happy to hear them play.
  • Why did the accordion teacher get a job as an elevator operator? He knew how to push all the right buttons.
  • Why do accordion teachers make great detectives? They always find the key.
  • How do you know when an accordion teacher is at your door? You can’t find the doorbell, but you hear a polka.

Accordion Player Jokes

Here is a list of funny accordion player jokes and even better accordion player puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • Why did the accordion player get a divorce? His wife said he was always pushing her buttons.
  • Why do accordion players always play on the edge of the stage? So they can be closer to their cars when the gig is over.
  • Why did the accordion player get so many requests to perform? Because he always pulled out all the stops.
  • How do you know when an accordion player is at your door? You can hear the off-tune wheezing before they even start playing.
  • What do you get when you cross an accordion player with a magician? Someone who can make a living disappear in no time.
  • Why did the accordion player refuse to play at the nudist camp? They didn’t have any straps big enough to cover his… dignity.
  • Why did the accordion player bring their instrument to the funeral? To give the deceased one last squeeze.
  • How do you protect your garden from accordion players? Put up a sign that says “no treble allowed”
  • Why did the accordion player get a divorce? His spouse couldn’t handle the constant bellowing.
  • Why did the accordion player become a chef? He knew how to whip up a great melody and mix it with harmony.
Accordion joke

Cheerful Accordion Jokes for Unforgettable Laughter with Friends!

What funny jokes about accordion you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean carousel jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make accordion pranks.

Horrible Accident

A blonde had just totaled her car in a horrific accident. Miraculously, she managed to pry herself from the wreckage without a scratch and was applying fresh lipstick when the state trooper arrived.
"My God!" the trooper gasped. "Your car looks like an accordion that was stomped on by an elephant. Are you OK ma'am?"
"Yes, officer, I'm just fine" the blonde chirped.
"Well, how in the world did this happen?" the officer asked as he surveyed the wrecked car.
"Officer, it was the strangest thing!" the blonde began. I was driving along this road when from out of nowhere this TREE pops up in front of me. So I swerved to the right, and there was another tree! I swerved to the left and there was ANOTHER tree! I served to the right and there was another tree! I swerved to the left and there was ...."
"Uh, ma'am", the officer said, cutting her off, "There isn't a tree on this road for 30 miles. That was your air freshener swinging back and forth."

A man walks into a bar...

Shadily dressed in a trench coat with the collar pulled up and a fedora pulled down over his face. A livid scar runs down his cheek, and his two tone shoes are dangerously polished. In his hands he's carrying an accordion case. The bar falls completely silent. All of the patrons turn pale and freeze as the man strolls up to the bar and sets the case down on the counter. Everyone holds their breath. Suddenly, the man flips open the case and pulls out a machine gun! And everyone in the bar breathes a sigh of relief.

Accordion and Tuba Duo

A party planner has organized a huge new year's eve party. At the last minute, the band he hired has to pull out because of death in the family. The planner is totally stressed out because he has 500 partiers and no band.
On December 30 he contacts the only local band that was avaliable, a duo consisting of an accordionist and a tuba player. He has hesitations, but he hires them so he will have live music.
To his surprise, the duo is a huge hit with the crowd. The party was better than he ever imagined.
After the party, he walks up to the band and says "you know, I never thought in a million years that I would be saying this, but you two were great and I would like to line you up now for next year"
The duo replies "Sure, can we leave our stuff?"

What's the difference between an accordion and an onion?

No one cries when you cut up an accordion

An accordion player goes to a bar

After a long night at performing at a local restaurant, an accordion player goes to have a few late night drinks. He drives up to the bar and goes inside. After finishing his first drink, he realizes he left his car unlocked! He rushed outside, opened the trunk of his car.....but it was too late....a 2nd accordion was already there!

How is an accordion like an artillery shell?

Once you hear it, it's already too late.

Some musicians think suqeeze-boxes are the best instruments ever...

But that's just accordion to them

What's the definition of a gentleman?

Someone who knows how to play the accordion...but doesn't

What's the definition of perfect pitch?

Throwing a banjo into a dumpster and hitting an accordion with it.

An accordion player walks into a bar,

orders a drink and chats up the bartender and the regulars for an hour.
Suddenly, he realizes that not only has he left his instrument in his back seat of his car in full view of passers-by, but he hasn't even locked his doors.
He quickly excuses himself from his conversation and rushes outside and up the block to his vehicle to take care of business, but it was too late.
Sure enough, someone had thrown another accordion in his back seat.

What do you get when you wreck a Honda Accord into a saturn Ion?

An Accordion.
...I'll, uh, see myself out.

Why didn't Bach buy his wife a new accordion?

He couldn't afford it; he was "Baroque".

What do you call the ghost of a Native American accordion player?

Pocahontas

What do you call a haunted accordion

Polka haunt us

A bagpipe player, a banjo player and an accordion player all walk into a bar...

everybody leaves.

What is big and brown and plays the accordion?

Lawrence Elk

Going to war without the French

Is like going hunting without an accordion

A friend of mine once left his accordion in his unlocked car.

Imagine his shock when he returned half an hour later to find *two* accordions in the back seat.

What do you call an accordion player with a pager?

An optimist.

There was an accordion player

He was going out for a drink after a show with his friend and was nervous about leaving his instrument in the car as he didn't want to get it stolen. His friend told him it was alright and nobody would try to steal an accordion. After a night of drinking they walk back to the car and notice a window is broken. The musician is mad at his friend for letting him leave the instrument until they get to the car and find two accordions.

Left my accordion in the car but forgot to close the window

when I came back, there were three accordions

What do you call an obvious accordion?

An ofcourseion

Going to war without France is like

going to hunting without your accordion

Hey son, you want an accordion

Billy: Yeah sure Dad, how many chords can it play
Dad: Actually, it's wireless.

What's the difference between an accordion player and a t**...?

Terrorists have sympathisers.

Pay me $10 and I'll play accordion for you

Pay me $100 and I won't play it.

My Honda Accord was rear-ended by a truck.

Now it's a Honda Accordion.

Rough part of the hood.

I once parked my car with my accordion in the back seat in a rough part of town. I was only gone a few minutes, but when I came back, somebody had smashed my rear windshield and thrown in two more accordions.

Do you know the definition of"perfect pitch?"

When you toss a banjo into a dumpster & it hits an accordion!

An Accordion Player Stops For Beer

An accordion player stops at a convenience store to grab a six pack.
As he's closing the car door he sees his accordion in the back seat and has a split thought that maybe he should put it in the trunk, but then thinks nah, he's literally gonna be just 20 feet away for 2 minutes.
The guy's in the shop for only 90 seconds, but as he's coming out sees that his rear window has been smashed. He shouts "oh no, not again"!
He looks in the back seat, and sure enough, there's three accordions.

Sure, I like music,

But accordion to my therapist, I'm obsessed!

What’s the best way to get an accordion player into heaven? Hide their instrument in a harp case.

What’s the difference between an accordion and a trampoline? You take off your shoes before you jump on a trampoline.

Why do some people say the accordion is the perfect instrument? Because it’s the only one that can be both a squeezebox and a weapon at the same time.

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get away from the accordion recital.

What do you get when you cross an accordion with a vacuum cleaner? A beautiful new instrument that sucks while you play it.

How can you tell if there’s an accordion player at your door? The knocking speeds up and gets louder when you don’t answer.

What do you call an accordionist who can play fast and furious? A speed demon.

Why did the scarecrow take up the accordion? Because it’s the best way to keep the crows away.

Why did the accordion player get thrown out of the party? Because he couldn’t handle the squeeze.

Why do accordion musicians make great detectives? They always find the key and can handle the pressure.

Why did the accordion player join the gym? To get accordion-fit!

What’s the difference between an accordion and a trampoline? You take your shoes off before you jump on a trampoline, but you don’t before you jump on an accordion.

Why did the accordion player go to jail? Because he played too many crimes against humanity with his music.

Why do accordion players always seem so happy? Because they’re always getting plenty of squeeze.

What do you call an accordion player who also bakes? A musician who knows how to roll out a tune and dough at the same time.

Why was the accordion player always late for practice? He couldn’t resist stopping to squeeze in a few extra notes.

How can you tell if an accordion player is at your door? You’ll hear the bellows ring before they knock!

Why do accordion bands have a limited number of songs? Because it takes them so long to find the key they’re supposed to be playing in.

How do you make an accordion sound like a violin? Light it on fire.

How do you know when an accordion band is at your front door? You can’t find the key and they don’t know when to come in.

Why do accordion players always carry a screwdriver in their pocket? To hang their instrument on a nearby tree during a break.

What’s the range of an accordion? About 20 feet – if you have a good arm.

Why did the accordion player get thrown out of the band? They found out they could save space and sound better by using a recording instead.

What do you call an accordion player with a beeper? An optimistic optimist.

Why do accordions make great travel companions? They’re always ready to squeeze into tight spaces.

Why did the accordion player get a standing ovation? They played a polka that nobody could resist dancing to.

What do you get when you cross an accordion with a cat? A purrfectly harmonious melody.

What do you call an accordion in a swamp? Bayou music.

Accordion joke

jokes about accordion