Accordion Jokes
234 accordion jokes and hilarious accordion puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about accordion that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Tired of the same old jokes? Check out these hilarious jokes you're sure to love if you're an accordion player, or just appreciate theatrical humor! From comparing an accordion player to a guitar player to imagining the conversations of a comedic accordion, you won't want to miss out on these jokes!
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Funniest Accordion Short Jokes
Short accordion jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The accordion humour may include short panel jokes also.
- Accordion to a recent survey, 7 out of 10 people don't notice when a word in a sentence is replaced by a musical instrument.
- Accordion to scientific studies, 90% .. of people do not realise I replaced the beginning of this joke with a musical instrument.
- Why did the accordion player sell his instrument and switch to the drums? He wanted to play something less complicated.
- Why did the accordion player bring his instrument to a bar fight? He knew it had the potential to be a deadly weapon.
- Why did the bartender refuse to serve the accordionist? He had one too many buttons already.
- What do you call a musician who can play multiple instruments but always chooses the accordion? A firm believer in the “squeeze is worth the juice.”
- Why did the polka musician’s wife file for divorce? She couldn’t handle all the band’s constant “in and out” motions!
- What did the guitarist say to the accordion player? Your instrument sounds like a dying cat, but at least it’s not a banjo.
- Why did the accordion player get so many requests to perform? Because he always pulled out all the stops.
- How do you know when an accordion player is at your door? You can hear the off-tune wheezing before they even start playing.
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Accordion One Liners
Which accordion one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with accordion? I can suggest the ones about concert and composer.
- What do you call a group of accordions? A squeezebox of horrors.
- What do you call an accordionist who can play any style of music? A multitasker.
- How can you tell when an accordion is out of tune? When it sounds normal.
- Why did the tomato turn red? It saw the accordion player undressing.
- Why did the accordion teacher go to jail? He got caught in a squeeze play.
- Why was the polka musician a good gardener? He knew how to pick the right tune-ips!
- Why did the accordion player go to jail? He was caught playing polka in a no-polka zone.
- Why are accordions like chameleons? They can blend into any musical genre.
- Why did the chicken cross the road? To get away from the accordion player.
- What do you call a group of accordions at the bottom of the ocean? A good start.
- Why did the spider start playing the accordion? To weave beautiful melodies into its web.
- What do you call a dinosaur that can play the accordion? A music-osaurus.
- Why did the chicken play the accordion? Because it wanted to be the life of the party!
- Why did the dog become an accordion player? Because it had perfect pitch.
- What do you call a cat that plays the accordion? A purr-former.
Accordion Band Jokes
Here is a list of funny accordion band jokes and even better accordion band puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Why did the polka band have such a large fan base? Because their music was so a-squeeze-tic!
- Why did the polka band get a great deal on their new instruments? They bought them at a polka-dot sale!
- Why did the accordion player refuse to join a band? He didn’t want to be boxed in by the other instruments.
- What do you call a beautiful woman on an accordion player’s arm? A tattoo.
- How do you prevent an accordion player from playing? Take away their sheet music and watch them panic.
- Why did the polka band start playing during the parade? They couldn’t resist the urge to polka around!
- Why do accordion bands have a limited number of songs? Because it takes them so long to find the key they’re supposed to be playing in.
- How do you make an accordion sound like a violin? Light it on fire.
- How do you know when an accordion band is at your front door? You can’t find the key and they don’t know when to come in.
- Why did the accordion player get kicked out of the band? He couldn’t squeeze in enough practice time.
Accordion Heaven And Hell Jokes
Here is a list of funny accordion heaven and hell jokes and even better accordion heaven and hell puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Why did the accordion player go to heaven? Because he’s got a lot of bellows!
- In accordion heaven, everyone plays in perfect harmony. In accordion hell, it’s nothing but chaos and dissonance.
- How do you know you’re at an accordion party in hell? Everyone’s dancing, but no one’s having fun.
- Why did the devil invite an accordion player to hell? To teach others the true meaning of “squeeze till it hurts.”
- Why did the accordion player go to hell? He tried to outplay the devil in a musical duel, but lost by one too many polka notes.
- What’s the difference between an accordion heaven and hell? In heaven, the music is divine, and in hell, it’s an eternal polka party.
- Why are there no accordion players in heaven? They can’t get past Saint Peter’s “No Squeezeboxes” sign.
- What did the accordion player say when he got to heaven? “I hope there’s an eternal jam session up here!”
- What’s the best way to get an accordion player into heaven? Hide their instrument in a harp case.
Accordion Teacher Jokes
Here is a list of funny accordion teacher jokes and even better accordion teacher puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Why do accordion teachers always sit at the back of the orchestra? So they can keep an eye on everyone else.
- Why did the accordion teacher get kicked out of the library? He couldn’t stop playing in the quiet section.
- How do you make an accordion teacher’s car more aerodynamic? Remove the accordion.
- Why do accordion teachers love to play at funerals? It’s the only time everyone’s happy to hear them play.
- Why did the accordion teacher get a job as an elevator operator? He knew how to push all the right buttons.
- How do you know when an accordion teacher is at your door? You can’t find the doorbell, but you hear a polka.
Accordion Player Jokes
Here is a list of funny accordion player jokes and even better accordion player puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- What do you get when you cross an accordion player with a magician? Someone who can make a living disappear in no time.
- Why did the accordion player refuse to play at the nudist camp? They didn’t have any straps big enough to cover his… dignity.
- Why did the accordion player bring their instrument to the funeral? To give the deceased one last squeeze.
- How do you protect your garden from accordion players? Put up a sign that says “no treble allowed”
- Why did the accordion player get a divorce? His spouse couldn’t handle the constant bellowing.
- Why did the accordion player become a chef? He knew how to whip up a great melody and mix it with harmony.
- Why did the beginner accordion player get arrested? For playing an accordion in public without a license.
- What did the accordion player say to the piano player? "You got the keys, but I’ve got the squeeze."
- Why do accordion players always carry a spare instrument? Just in case they get a wrinkle in their plans.
- What’s the difference between an accordionist and a concertina player? One can’t play fast, and the other can’t play slow.
Cheerful Accordion Jokes for Unforgettable Laughter with Friends!
What funny jokes about accordion you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean ribbon jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make accordion pranks.
Horrible Accident
A blonde had just totaled her car in a horrific accident. Miraculously, she managed to pry herself from the wreckage without a scratch and was applying fresh lipstick when the state trooper arrived.
"My God!" the trooper gasped. "Your car looks like an accordion that was stomped on by an elephant. Are you OK ma'am?"
"Yes, officer, I'm just fine" the blonde chirped.
"Well, how in the world did this happen?" the officer asked as he surveyed the wrecked car.
"Officer, it was the strangest thing!" the blonde began. I was driving along this road when from out of nowhere this TREE pops up in front of me. So I swerved to the right, and there was another tree! I swerved to the left and there was ANOTHER tree! I served to the right and there was another tree! I swerved to the left and there was ...."
"Uh, ma'am", the officer said, cutting her off, "There isn't a tree on this road for 30 miles. That was your air freshener swinging back and forth."
A man walks into a bar...
Shadily dressed in a trench coat with the collar pulled up and a fedora pulled down over his face. A livid scar runs down his cheek, and his two tone shoes are dangerously polished. In his hands he's carrying an accordion case. The bar falls completely silent. All of the patrons turn pale and freeze as the man strolls up to the bar and sets the case down on the counter. Everyone holds their breath. Suddenly, the man flips open the case and pulls out a machine gun! And everyone in the bar breathes a sigh of relief.
Accordion and Tuba Duo
A party planner has organized a huge new year's eve party. At the last minute, the band he hired has to pull out because of death in the family. The planner is totally stressed out because he has 500 partiers and no band.
On December 30 he contacts the only local band that was avaliable, a duo consisting of an accordionist and a tuba player. He has hesitations, but he hires them so he will have live music.
To his surprise, the duo is a huge hit with the crowd. The party was better than he ever imagined.
After the party, he walks up to the band and says "you know, I never thought in a million years that I would be saying this, but you two were great and I would like to line you up now for next year"
The duo replies "Sure, can we leave our stuff?"
What's the difference between an accordion and an onion?
No one cries when you cut up an accordion
How is an accordion like an artillery shell?
Once you hear it, it's already too late.
Some musician jokes
Q. Why don't violinists play hide and seek?
A. No one would look for them.
Q. How can you tell if a stage is level?
A. Drool is coming out of both sides of the drummer's mouth.
Q. What is the definition of perfect pitch?
A. Tossing an accordion into a dumpster without hitting the sides.
Q. How do you get two guitarists to play in unison?
A. Shoot one.
Q. How can you tell if a cello is out of tune?
A. The bow is moving.
Q. Why are musician jokes so short?
A. So the bassist can understand them.
Q. If a conductor and a watermelon are both dropped from a 24 story building, what hits the ground first?
A. Who cares?
Q. How can you keep your violin from being stolen?
A. Keep it in the violin case.
Some musicians think suqeeze-boxes are the best instruments ever...
But that's just accordion to them
What's the definition of a gentleman?
Someone who knows how to play the accordion...but doesn't
An accordion player walks into a bar,
orders a drink and chats up the bartender and the regulars for an hour.
Suddenly, he realizes that not only has he left his instrument in his back seat of his car in full view of passers-by, but he hasn't even locked his doors.
He quickly excuses himself from his conversation and rushes outside and up the block to his vehicle to take care of business, but it was too late.
Sure enough, someone had thrown another accordion in his back seat.
What do you get when you wreck a Honda Accord into a saturn Ion?
An Accordion.
...I'll, uh, see myself out.
Why didn't Bach buy his wife a new accordion?
He couldn't afford it; he was "Baroque".
What do you call the ghost of a Native American accordion player?
Pocahontas
What do you call a haunted accordion
Polka haunt us
A bagpipe player, a banjo player and an accordion player all walk into a bar...
everybody leaves.
What is big and brown and plays the accordion?
Lawrence Elk
Going to war without the French
Is like going hunting without an accordion
A friend of mine once left his accordion in his unlocked car.
Imagine his shock when he returned half an hour later to find *two* accordions in the back seat.
What do you call an accordion player with a pager?
An optimist.
Left my accordion in the car but forgot to close the window
when I came back, there were three accordions
What do you call an obvious accordion?
An ofcourseion
Going to war without France is like
going to hunting without your accordion
Hey son, you want an accordion
Billy: Yeah sure Dad, how many chords can it play
Dad: Actually, it's wireless.
Pay me $10 and I'll play accordion for you
Pay me $100 and I won't play it.
My Honda Accord was rear-ended by a truck.
Now it's a Honda Accordion.
Rough part of the hood.
I once parked my car with my accordion in the back seat in a rough part of town. I was only gone a few minutes, but when I came back, somebody had smashed my rear windshield and thrown in two more accordions.
Do you know the definition of"perfect pitch?"
When you toss a banjo into a dumpster & it hits an accordion!
An Accordion Player Stops For Beer
An accordion player stops at a convenience store to grab a six pack.
As he's closing the car door he sees his accordion in the back seat and has a split thought that maybe he should put it in the trunk, but then thinks nah, he's literally gonna be just 20 feet away for 2 minutes.
The guy's in the shop for only 90 seconds, but as he's coming out sees that his rear window has been smashed. He shouts "oh no, not again"!
He looks in the back seat, and sure enough, there's three accordions.
Sure, I like music,
But accordion to my therapist, I'm obsessed!
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Why do accordion players always end up in hell? They can never decide if they’re playing heavenly music or just having a hell of a time.
Why do some people say the accordion is the perfect instrument? Because it’s the only one that can be both a squeezebox and a weapon at the same time.
What do you get when you cross an accordion with a vacuum cleaner? A beautiful new instrument that sucks while you play it.
How can you tell if there’s an accordion player at your door? The knocking speeds up and gets louder when you don’t answer.
What do you call an accordionist who can play fast and furious? A speed demon.
Why did the scarecrow take up the accordion? Because it’s the best way to keep the crows away.
Why did the accordion player get thrown out of the party? Because he couldn’t handle the squeeze.
Why did the accordion player join the gym? To get accordion-fit!
What’s the difference between an accordion and a trampoline? You take your shoes off before you jump on a trampoline, but you don’t before you jump on an accordion.
Why did the accordion player go to jail? Because he played too many crimes against humanity with his music.
Why do accordion players always seem so happy? Because they’re always getting plenty of squeeze.
What do you call an accordion player who also bakes? A musician who knows how to roll out a tune and dough at the same time.
Why do accordion players always carry a screwdriver in their pocket? To hang their instrument on a nearby tree during a break.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
How do you get two accordion players to play in perfect unison? Shoot one.
What’s the range of an accordion? About 20 feet – if you have a good arm.
Why did the accordion player get thrown out of the band? They found out they could save space and sound better by using a recording instead.
Why do accordions make great travel companions? They’re always ready to squeeze into tight spaces.
Why did the accordion player get a standing ovation? They played a polka that nobody could resist dancing to.
What do you get when you cross an accordion with a cat? A purrfectly harmonious melody.
What do you call an accordion in a swamp? Bayou music.
How do you get an accordion to sound like a violin? Sell it and buy a violin.
Why did the accordionist get fired from the orchestra? They couldn’t stop playing “Weird Al” Yankovic covers during rehearsal.
How does an accordion player change a light bulb? They just press a button and pull the bellows.
Why was the accordion invented? So the musician could both play and dance at the same time.
Why did the accordion cross the road? To get to the polka party on the other side.
Why do accordionists always play their instruments near the door? So they can make a quick getaway.
What do you call a bar that bans accordionists? A classy joint.
Why did the accordionist get kicked out of the bar? He was playing too many polkas.
How do you know when an accordionist is playing well? Everyone in the bar starts clapping- their hands over their ears.
Why do so many people take an instant dislike to accordion music? It saves time.
Why did the accordionist refuse to play at the bar? He couldn’t find the key.
