Accordion Jokes

Following is our collection of guitarist humor and sax one-liner funnies working better than reddit jokes. They include Accordion puns for adults, dirty fiddle jokes or clean violin gags for kids.

There is an abundance of handel jokes out there. You're fortunate to read a set of the 42 funniest jokes on accordion. Full with funny wisecracks it is even funnier than any trombone witze you can hear about accordion.

The Best jokes about Accordion

Accordion to scientific studies, 90% ..

of people do not realise I replaced the beginning of this joke with a musical instrument.

9/10 people.

Accordion to research, 9/10 people don't notice when you replace words with random musical instruments.

Accordion to a recent survey, inserting musical instruments into sentences largely goes unnoticed.

Read it slowly.

Interesting Research

Accordion to research, 9 out of 10 people don't notice when you replace words with random musical instruments.

An accordion player walks into a bar,

orders a drink and chats up the bartender and the regulars for an hour.

Suddenly, he realizes that not only has he left his instrument in his back seat of his car in full view of passers-by, but he hasn't even locked his doors.

He quickly excuses himself from his conversation and rushes outside and up the block to his vehicle to take care of business, but it was too late.

Sure enough, someone had thrown another accordion in his back seat.


A man walks into a bar...

Shadily dressed in a trench coat with the collar pulled up and a fedora pulled down over his face. A livid scar runs down his cheek, and his two tone shoes are dangerously polished. In his hands he's carrying an accordion case. The bar falls completely silent. All of the patrons turn pale and freeze as the man strolls up to the bar and sets the case down on the counter. Everyone holds their breath. Suddenly, the man flips open the case and pulls out a machine gun! And everyone in the bar breathes a sigh of relief.

What do you get when you wreck a Honda Accord into a Saturn Ion?

An Accordion.

...I'll, uh, see myself out.

Did you know?

Accordion to a recent study, 90% of the world don't realise when a word has been swapped with an instrument.

Some musician jokes

Q. Why don't violinists play hide and seek?

A. No one would look for them.

Q. How can you tell if a stage is level?

A. Drool is coming out of both sides of the drummer's mouth.

Q. What is the definition of perfect pitch?

A. Tossing an accordion into a dumpster without hitting the sides.


Q. How do you get two guitarists to play in unison?

A. Shoot one.

Q. How can you tell if a cello is out of tune?

A. The bow is moving.

Q. Why are musician jokes so short?

A. So the bassist can understand them.

Q. If a conductor and a watermelon are both dropped from a 24 story building, what hits the ground first?

A. Who cares?

Q. How can you keep your violin from being stolen?

A. Keep it in the violin case.

Accordion to a study done by Stanford University, 9 out 10 people don't notice when words are substituted for music instruments

hehe

What's the difference between an accordion and an onion?

No one cries when you cut up an accordion


What do you call a haunted accordion

Polka haunt us

An accordion player goes to a bar... (warning: dumb joke)

After a long night at performing at a local restaurant, an accordion player goes to have a few late night drinks. He drives up to the bar and goes inside. After finishing his first drink, he realizes he left his car unlocked! He rushed outside, opened the trunk of his car.....but it was too late....a 2nd accordion was already there!

Accordion and Tuba Duo

A party planner has organized a huge new year's eve party. At the last minute, the band he hired has to pull out because of death in the family. The planner is totally stressed out because he has 500 partiers and no band.

On December 30 he contacts the only local band that was avaliable, a duo consisting of an accordionist and a tuba player. He has hesitations, but he hires them so he will have live music.

To his surprise, the duo is a huge hit with the crowd. The party was better than he ever imagined.

After the party, he walks up to the band and says "you know, I never thought in a million years that I would be saying this, but you two were great and I would like to line you up now for next year"

The duo replies "Sure, can we leave our stuff?"

Horrible Accident

A blonde had just totaled her car in a horrific accident. Miraculously, she managed to pry herself from the wreckage without a scratch and was applying fresh lipstick when the state trooper arrived.
"My God!" the trooper gasped. "Your car looks like an accordion that was stomped on by an elephant. Are you OK ma'am?"
"Yes, officer, I'm just fine" the blonde chirped.
"Well, how in the world did this happen?" the officer asked as he surveyed the wrecked car.
"Officer, it was the strangest thing!" the blonde began. I was driving along this road when from out of nowhere this TREE pops up in front of me. So I swerved to the right, and there was another tree! I swerved to the left and there was ANOTHER tree! I served to the right and there was another tree! I swerved to the left and there was ...."
"Uh, ma'am", the officer said, cutting her off, "There isn't a tree on this road for 30 miles. That was your air freshener swinging back and forth."

How is an accordion like an artillery shell?

Once you hear it, it's already too late.

I was reading this survey the other day

And accordion to it, replacing words with the names of musical instruments in a sentence often goes undetected

My Honda Accord was rear-ended by a truck.

Now it's a Honda Accordion.

Accordion to a recent survey...

Most people don't notice when words are swapped for instruments in sentences.


Accordion to a recent survey, most people don't notice when a musical instrument is inserted into a sentence.

A friend of mine once left his accordion in his unlocked car.

Imagine his shock when he returned half an hour later to find *two* accordions in the back seat.

Accordion to studies, its very easy to hide musical instruments in every day sentences.

I find that harp to belive though.

Pay me $10 and I'll play accordion for you

Pay me $100 and I won't play it.

Going to war without the French

Is like going hunting without an accordion

There was an accordion player

He was going out for a drink after a show with his friend and was nervous about leaving his instrument in the car as he didn't want to get it stolen. His friend told him it was alright and nobody would try to steal an accordion. After a night of drinking they walk back to the car and notice a window is broken. The musician is mad at his friend for letting him leave the instrument until they get to the car and find two accordions.

A bagpipe player, a banjo player and an accordion player all walk into a bar...

everybody leaves.

What's the difference between an accordion player and a terrorist?

Terrorists have sympathisers.

Accordion to studies...

Most people don't replace the first word of a sentence with an instrument

Accordion to a recent study, switching the words of a sentence with a musical instrument often goes unnoticed.

It's science.

What do you call the ghost of a Native American accordion player?

Pocahontas

Some musicians think suqeeze-boxes are the best instruments ever...

But that's just accordion to them

Why won't people know when you replace words with instruments?

Idk, accordion to research I guess.

Why didn't Bach buy his wife a new accordion?

He couldn't afford it; he was "Baroque".

What do you call an accordion player with a pager?

An optimist.

What is big and brown and plays the accordion?

Lawrence Elk

Going to war without France is like

going to hunting without your accordion

Accordion to scientific studies, 90% of you won't realize I replaced the first word of this sentence with an instrument.

Accordion to several scientific reports and surveys,

When replacing words with instruments they tend to go unnoticed.

Left my accordion in the car but forgot to close the window

when I came back, there were three accordions

Accordion to a recent survey, at least 40% of sentences contain one musical instrument.

What do you call an obvious accordion?

An ofcourseion

Hey son, you want an accordion

Billy: Yeah sure Dad, how many chords can it play

Dad: Actually, it's wireless.

Use only working piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Note that dirty and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. You can seriously offend people by saying creepy dark humor words to them.

Joko Jokes