Cheeky Accidently Jokes that Will Make You and Your Friends Chuckle
Man and woman in a restaurant.
Woman accidently farts. She says:
-I hope this will stay just between us.
Man answers:
-I hope it will disperse...
I accidently swallowed some scrabble tiles
My next dump could spell disaster
Ducks
Three women die in an accident and go to Heaven. There Saint Peter says, 'We only have one rule - don't step on the ducks!' They enter Heaven, and sure enough, there are ducks everywhere. In fact, it's almost impossible not to step on a duck, and the first woman accidently steps on one straight away. Saint Peter comes along with the ugliest man the woman has ever seen and chains them together saying, 'Your punishment for stepping on a duck is to spend eternity chained to this ugly man!' The next day, the second woman steps on a duck and she too is chained to an incredibly ugly man. The third woman is very, very careful with the ducks and manages to avoid stepping on any of them. One day Saint Peter comes along and chains her to an incredibly handsome man. The woman is delighted but wonders why she's been blessed. She gets on her knees and prays aloud, 'Oh Lord, what have I done to deserve this bounty?' The man says, 'I don't know about you, lady, but I trod on a duck.'
Did you hear about the guy who accidently used super glue instead of l**... while having s**...?
He's now a man trapped in a woman's
body..
Did you hear about the german who accidently put his hand in boiling oil?
he Gottfried..
It's so cold outside...
I brushed against a car in the parking lot and accidently keyed it with my n**....
I accidently ordered a "Robert Palmer" instead of an "Arnold Palmer" and now there is a sullen waitress dancing behind me.
You had to be there
I accidently mixed some poison ivy with a 4 leafed clover and ever since I've had a rash of good luck...
I accidently mixed up some poison ivy with a 4 leafed clover and ever since I've had a rash of good luck...
Accidently played dad instead of dead when I encountered a bear.
Now it can ride a bike without training wheels.
While gardening, I accidently unearthed a tulip bulb.
"Whoops." I said "Sorry bud."
TIFU by starting a World War after accidently shooting a British submarine.
Oops, wrong sub.
You can explore accidently mishap reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean accidently accidental dad jokes. There are also accidently puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
How is the situation husband with his pregnant wife
Husband wanted to call the hospital
to ask about his pregnant wife,
but accidently called the cricket stadium.
He asks, "How's the situation?"
He was shocked & nearly died on hearing the reply.
They said, "It's fine. 3 are out,
hope to get another 7 out by lunch,
last one was a duck!"
A woman accidently used glue for lubricant...
After she told her best friend about the mix up, the friend said: "This story stays between us, the less people that know about this the better."
The woman nodded in agreement... "Yeah that's right, my lips are sealed."
Why h**... was late to work?
He accidently didn't took the second left but the third r**....
Lucky Man
In a lift, man elbow accidently touched lady's breast.
Man: if your heart is soft as your breast you will forgive me.
Lady: if you s**... o**... is hard as your elbow I am in room 207.
I accidently lost some chromosomes today
Now I'm feeling rather down
I accidently bought a fleshlight instead of a flashlight.
When the power went out I was s**....
A guy accidently calls his boss
Guy: I want a black coffee on my desk right now!
Boss: Do you not know who you're dealing with?!!
Guy: No, who is this?
Boss: Your boss...
Guy: Oh...Well do you not know who you're talking with?!!
Boss: No, i dont.
Guy: Thank god. *Hangs up*
After I do housework I neatly put all the tools away...
... so I don't accidently kick the bucket.
Have you heard about the elephant who accidently killed his girlfriend?
It was his first crush
I ate a pill that would made me immortal today
I accidently choked to death while swallowing it
My grandad accidently bit his own tongue off during WW2
He never talks about it though
phsyically implausible excuses
i cant make it today i drove over my car keys
sorry i was late when i was walking over i tripped fell and accidently hung myself
My boss told me to file 100 pages of paper.
And i accidently did 150 pages.
What can i say i am an overarchiver.
What do you say when you accidently walk in on your gay slav friend?
The Czech is in the male!
I drank accidently ended up drinking some food colouring last night.
I ended up dying inside.
I accidently filled the e**... with diesel yesterday.
She died
I accidently walked in on my parents during s**....
That was the most akward 45 minutes of my life.
Accidently got some haemorrhoid cream on my fruit bowl
and now my grapes have disappeared.
Accidently burned dinner on the grill.
Missteaks were made.
The DJ accidently turned the bass down low.
Whoops, that was a lot of treble.
So i was watching p*rn last night and accidently pressed cast to tv, it found a samsung tv and started steaming...
I dont have a samsung tv in my house.
A man walks into a bar. Looking visibly distraught, he orders his drink.
A man walks into a bar. Looking visibly distraught, he orders his drink. "Having a bad day?", the barkeep asks. "I guess you could say so. I just accidently time travelled back into the 20th century." "Really? What did you change?" "Oh heavens, nothing! I just went straight back to the present. Do you know how dangerous time travel is? Who knows what I might have changed if I hadn't been so careful. I might have caused a second world war."
The Superman 2 movie and a documentary about the Moon Landing had accidently been scheduled at the same time for the Lunar Background part of the movie lot. They argued about who should get to use it first, but then they remembered:
Neil before Zod.
So a guy was making counterfeit money and accidently prints $21 bills.
He decides he could go to a small town gas station where the cashier isn't too bright and see about exchanging them for real cash. He gets there and asks the cashier for his change and the cashier responds "Not a problem. Do you want 7 - $3 bills or 3 - $7 bills?"
What did the customer say when the waitress accidently served him decaf?
"Don't worry, I won't lose much sleep over it."
Disappearing ink
I accidently drank a bottle of disappearing ink....
Now I'm in the ER waiting to be seen
I Think My Wife is Cheating on Me!
I think my wife accidently admitted to cheating on me. She was getting ready to go to the gym and I asked her when she would be back. She replied, "An hour, two Max."
The only problem...my name isn't Max!
