The Best 33 Accidently Jokes

Following is our collection of Accidently jokes which are very funny. There are some accidently mishap jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud. Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these accidently accidental puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Man and woman in a restaurant.

Woman accidently farts. She says:

-I hope this will stay just between us.

Man answers:

-I hope it will disperse...

I accidently swallowed some scrabble tiles

My next dump could spell disaster

Ducks

Three women die in an accident and go to Heaven. There Saint Peter says, 'We only have one rule - don't step on the ducks!' They enter Heaven, and sure enough, there are ducks everywhere. In fact, it's almost impossible not to step on a duck, and the first woman accidently steps on one straight away. Saint Peter comes along with the ugliest man the woman has ever seen and chains them together saying, 'Your punishment for stepping on a duck is to spend eternity chained to this ugly man!' The next day, the second woman steps on a duck and she too is chained to an incredibly ugly man. The third woman is very, very careful with the ducks and manages to avoid stepping on any of them. One day Saint Peter comes along and chains her to an incredibly handsome man. The woman is delighted but wonders why she's been blessed. She gets on her knees and prays aloud, 'Oh Lord, what have I done to deserve this bounty?' The man says, 'I don't know about you, lady, but I trod on a duck.'

Did you hear about the guy who accidently used super glue instead of lube while having sex?

He's now a man trapped in a woman's
body..

Did you hear about the german who accidently put his hand in boiling oil?

he Gottfried..


It's so cold outside...

I brushed against a car in the parking lot and accidently keyed it with my nipple.

I accidently ordered a "Robert Palmer" instead of an "Arnold Palmer" and now there is a sullen waitress dancing behind me.

You had to be there

I accidently mixed some poison ivy with a 4 leafed clover and ever since I've had a rash of good luck...

I accidently mixed up some poison ivy with a 4 leafed clover and ever since I've had a rash of good luck...

Accidently played dad instead of dead when I encountered a bear.

Now it can ride a bike without training wheels.

While gardening, I accidently unearthed a tulip bulb.

"Whoops." I said "Sorry bud."

TIFU by starting a World War after accidently shooting a British submarine.

Oops, wrong sub.

Top Accidently Puns and Funny Jokes

You can explore accidently lube reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean accidently teaspoon dad jokes. There are also accidently puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


How is the situation husband with his pregnant wife

Husband wanted to call the hospital
to ask about his pregnant wife,
but accidently called the cricket stadium.

He asks, "How's the situation?"

He was shocked & nearly died on hearing the reply.

They said, "It's fine. 3 are out,
hope to get another 7 out by lunch,
last one was a duck!"

A woman accidently used glue for lubricant...

After she told her best friend about the mix up, the friend said: "This story stays between us, the less people that know about this the better."

The woman nodded in agreement... "Yeah that's right, my lips are sealed."

Why Hitler was late to work?

He accidently didn't took the second left but the third Reich.

Lucky Man

In a lift, man elbow accidently touched lady's breast.
Man: if your heart is soft as your breast you will forgive me.
Lady: if you sex organ is hard as your elbow I am in room 207.

I accidently lost some chromosomes today

Now I'm feeling rather down

I accidently bought a fleshlight instead of a flashlight.

When the power went out I was screwed.

A guy accidently calls his boss

Guy: I want a black coffee on my desk right now!

Boss: Do you not know who you're dealing with?!!

Guy: No, who is this?

Boss: Your boss...

Guy: Oh...Well do you not know who you're talking with?!!

Boss: No, i dont.

Guy: Thank god. *Hangs up*

After I do housework I neatly put all the tools away...

... so I don't accidently kick the bucket.


Have you heard about the elephant who accidently killed his girlfriend?

It was his first crush

I ate a pill that would made me immortal today

I accidently choked to death while swallowing it

My grandad accidently bit his own tongue off during WW2

He never talks about it though

phsyically implausible excuses

i cant make it today i drove over my car keys

sorry i was late when i was walking over i tripped fell and accidently hung myself

My boss told me to file 100 pages of paper.

And i accidently did 150 pages.

What can i say i am an overarchiver.

What do you say when you accidently walk in on your gay slav friend?

The Czech is in the male!

I drank accidently ended up drinking some food colouring last night.

I ended up dying inside.

I accidently filled the escort with diesel yesterday.

She died

I accidently walked in on my parents during sex.

That was the most akward 45 minutes of my life.

Accidently got some haemorrhoid cream on my fruit bowl

and now my grapes have disappeared.

Accidently burned dinner on the grill.

Missteaks were made.

The DJ accidently turned the bass down low.

Whoops, that was a lot of treble.

So i was watching p*rn last night and accidently pressed cast to tv, it found a samsung tv and started steaming...

I dont have a samsung tv in my house.

A man walks into a bar. Looking visibly distraught, he orders his drink.

A man walks into a bar. Looking visibly distraught, he orders his drink. "Having a bad day?", the barkeep asks. "I guess you could say so. I just accidently time travelled back into the 20th century." "Really? What did you change?" "Oh heavens, nothing! I just went straight back to the present. Do you know how dangerous time travel is? Who knows what I might have changed if I hadn't been so careful. I might have caused a second world war."

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the accidently blonde car accident jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working accidently car accident piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes