Accidently Jokes
49 accidently jokes and hilarious accidently puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about accidently that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Accidently Short Jokes
Short accidently jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The accidently humour may include short balm jokes also.
- A man was brought to the ER badly injured from an accident. We're losing him! said a nurse. Not on my watch! said the surgeon, who clocked out and went home.
- In a freak accident today, a photographer was killed when a huge lump of cheddar landed in him To be fair though, the people who were being photographed did try to warn him
- Unrestrained children in the back seat can cause accidents. Unrestrained accidents in the back seat can cause children.
- A man wakes up in the hospital after a serious accident He shouts "Doctor, Doctor I can't feel my legs!"
The Doctor replies, "I know, we amputated your arms." - Breaking News: Local Kindergarten reports major Peek-a-Boo accident. All involved were rushed to the ICU
- A woman in her Kia did not wear a seatbelt and got into an accident Her body left her Soul.
- I awoke from an accident and was shocked when the doctor told me that my fingers were broken. It was hard to grasp.
- Just made this up, and apologize in advance... What did the Doctor give the weatherman after his skiing accident? 4 casts
- Mom, someone called me gangster at school today. Mom: Dont worry I'll go tomorrow and solve this problem
Son: Make sure it looks like an accident. - I saved 15% on car insurance by switching.... The gear to reverse and pulling away from the accident
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Accidently One Liners
Which accidently one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with accidently? I can suggest the ones about teaspoon and accidental.
- I named my kid Bob Ross He was a happy little accident.
- Just got hospitalised due to a peekaboo accident They put me in the ICU
- My grandparents were vaporised in a freak accident They will be mist... :'(
- I never learned proper grammar because of the accident. I was in a comma.
- I heard 80% of all accident happen within 10 miles of home. So I moved.
- Sometimes I say "nope" by accident. Nope unintended.
- A man died in a tragic skydiving accident. Some say he left an impact on the world.
- If your mom is 17 and your dad is 18, what does that make you? An accident.
- Did you guys hear about the 4 car accident in Mexico? ...94 people died.
- I almost lost my hearing in an accident... It was a near-deaf experience.
- Want to save 15% or more on car insurance? Just leave the scene of the accident
- You must have been born on a highway because that's where most accidents happen.
- My friend had a tragic accident. He got his finger stuck in a wedding ring.
- My best friend died in a freak boiling water accident. He will be mist.
- Kids in the back of a car cause accidents But accidents in the back of a car causes kids
Cheeky Accidently Jokes that Will Make You and Your Friends Chuckle
What funny jokes about accidently you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean accidentally jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make accidently pranks.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I accidently bought a fleshlight instead of a flashlight.
When the power went out I was s**....
"This is the hardest part of our job," said the police officer after Adam was pronounced dead in the accident.
"Yeah, but break the news slowly. His wife is a very sensitive person."
The police officer knocks on the door and Adam's wife opens it.
"Are you Adam's widow?" said the police.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Two Police officers.
Two police officers c**... their car into a tree. After a moment of silence, one of them says:
Wow, that's got to be the fastest we've ever gotten to an accident site.
My wife was just in a minor accident. She's told the police that the man she hit was on his phone and drinking a Coke at the time
But they keep going on about how he can do what he wants in his own living room.
An officer pulls up at the scene of an accident
where a car has driven through a field, killed several livestock and crashed into a barn. He decides to interview Steve who is struggling to keep his balance and is being propped up by Karen.
"Been out for a few have we mate?" asks the officer.
"Shuure ave mate" grins Steve.
"I realise you are very drunk sir," states the officer, "but that is absolutely no excuse to let your wife drive you home!"
So these three lawyers are zooming along a country road and they get into an accident with a gravedigger.
So the gravedigger pulls himself out of his car and he's okay, but the lawyers are kind of messed up, so he buries them, right there, and walks into town and calls the Sheriff. 'Sheriff,' he says, 'terrible accident I just had. Three lawyers in it, they was all dead, so I buried them.' Sheriff says, "What?
You went ahead and buried them already? Are yousure they was dead?' Gravedigger says reluctantly,
"Well, they said they wasn't, but you know how those fellas lie.
In celebration of my very first Cake Day, I'm reposting one of my own jokes:
A truck loaded with Worcestershire sauce is driving through Saskatoon, Saskatchewan when it collides with a Nissan Qashqai.
The truck then careens down the road and hits a car from Massachusetts, injuring the two otorhinolaryngologists inside. One of them, suffering from Schistosomiasis, has a myocardial infarction.
A bystander witnesses the entire event and quickly calls to report the accident on his Huawei.
The emergency operator asks the bystander, "What happened?"
"It's hard to say."
A grandson asks his grandfather: "Grandpa, is it true that in 1986 there was an accident at Chernobyl Nuclear Power Plant?"
"Yes, there was"
answers the Grandpa and patted the grandson's head.
"Grandpa, is it true that it had absolutely no consequences?"
"Yes, absolutely"
answered the Grandpa, and patted the grandson's other head.
A boy knocks his father down the stairs in a freak accident.
The father breaks his neck and dies, leaving his son to mourn for days. However, one night, the boy wakes up to see an apparition of his father before him. All at once, he breaks down crying, and screams out, "I'm sorry!"
His father responds, "Hi Sorry, I'm dead!"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I saw 3 men standing at the urinals.
The first man, a Jewish guy, was peeing 4 streams.
"What happened to you?" I asked.
He explained "Accident at my circumcision. The rabbi had Parkinson's."
The next man, a big tough trucker, was peeing 6 streams.
"And what is your problem?" I asked.
He grunted "I had a fight with a rottweiler..."
The third man, an elderly, absent-minded looking guy, was peeing 30 streams.
"Oh my gosh, what the h**... happened to you?!?" I gasped.
He looked down, then sighed.
"Oh dear, I forgot to pull down my zipper again."
I just found out that my friend broke all his fingers in a freak accident.
I can't even imagine how he feels.
In a recent laboratory accident, a technician was frozen to absolute zero
but he's 0k now.
My girlfriend hated that I told blind jokes
Years ago I dated a girl for about 6 months. We got along super well. I met her family, and she met mine. Things were getting pretty serious between us.
The only thing that we really argued about was my blind jokes. I loved saying them and she hated them. In her defense, she had a blind brother so that's why it bothered her. One day I got a call, and found out that she got in a car accident and lost her sight.
After that she just stopped seeing me.
I told my wife when I first met her that I play a LOT of golf
I told her …
If it's a beautiful sunny day I'm gonna play golf
If it's windy I'll play golf
If it's rainy I'll play golf
If we're in a minor car accident, I'll drop her off at the hospital and go play golf…
She said she's a hooker…
I said you're probably not holding the club right!
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
An old h**... joke
Some time ago, a medium contacted h**...'s spirit by accident. Out of curiosity, he decided to listen to what h**... had to say.
"Listen to my words, you little brat: I'm gonna reincarnate someday, and I'm gonna kill six million Jews and two dogs".
"Why the two dogs?" the medium replied.
"See, nobody cares about the Jews!"
My girlfriend invited me to meet her parents.
Before we went over, she let me know that her father, Dale, was in a car accident and had his legs amputated at the hips. Apparently, it was a sensitive issue, and I was not to mention it.
When we arrived, her dad greeted us at the door. Not seeing his wife anywhere, I said to him, Dale, it's great to meet you. Is your other half in the kitchen?
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A driver was arrested after a deadly accident...
Policeman: How could you kill 49 people? What the h**... is wrong with you?
Driver: I was driving at 80 km/h when I saw two men crossing the Road. On the road side, there was a wedding party. I wanted to apply the Breaks, but then I realised they were not working. So, I had to take a decision; either hit the 2 men or run into the wedding party.
Policeman: You could have hit the 2 men!
Driver: Exactly! After hitting the first man, the other one ran towards the wedding party. So I followed him. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
My wife asked me if I'd ever p**... in the shower. I said 'Yes but both times were an accident.
My Wife responded 'What!? How can you p**... in the shower by accident? Twice!?'
And I said 'Well these things happen when you're taking a s**...'.
My friend in Alabama lost his Mom, his Sister, and his Wife in a car accident.
He really loved that woman.
I was on a plane recently and the stewardess said that in the event of an accident i had to stick my head between my legs.
I couldn't help thinking,
'if i could do that i wouldn't be flying to Thailand in the first place.'
Two priests were riding very fast on a motorcycle.
They were promptly stopped by a policeman who said, What do you think you are doing?
What if you have an accident?
The priests say, Don't worry, my son. God is with us.
The policeman says, In that case, I have to book you. Three people are not allowed to ride on a motorcycle.
