Accidently Jokes

49 accidently jokes and hilarious accidently puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about accidently that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

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Funniest Accidently Short Jokes

Short accidently jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The accidently humour may include short balm jokes also.

  1. With the way I see asian people driving, it got me thinking... Pearl Harbor might have been an accident.
  2. A man was brought to the ER badly injured from an accident. We're losing him! said a nurse. Not on my watch! said the surgeon, who clocked out and went home.
  3. In a freak accident today, a photographer was killed when a huge lump of cheddar landed in him To be fair though, the people who were being photographed did try to warn him
  4. Unrestrained children in the back seat can cause accidents. Unrestrained accidents in the back seat can cause children.
  5. A man wakes up in the hospital after a serious accident He shouts "Doctor, Doctor I can't feel my legs!"
    The Doctor replies, "I know, we amputated your arms."
  6. Breaking News: Local Kindergarten reports major Peek-a-Boo accident. All involved were rushed to the ICU
  7. A woman in her Kia did not wear a seatbelt and got into an accident Her body left her Soul.
  8. An American tourist in Australia was in an accident. The next day he woke up in the hospital and asked, "Did you bring me here to die?"
    The orderly said, "No, mate, we brought you here yesterday."
  9. I awoke from an accident and was shocked when the doctor told me that my fingers were broken. It was hard to grasp.
  10. Just made this up, and apologize in advance... What did the Doctor give the weatherman after his skiing accident? 4 casts

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Accidently One Liners

Which accidently one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with accidently? I can suggest the ones about teaspoon and accidental.

  1. I named my kid Bob Ross He was a happy little accident.
  2. Just got hospitalised due to a peekaboo accident They put me in the ICU
  3. I accidently swallowed some scrabble tiles My next dump could spell disaster
  4. Asians are sooo bad at driving.... I'm starting to think Pearl Harbor was an accident.
  5. My grandparents were vaporised in a freak accident They will be mist... :'(
  6. I never learned proper grammar because of the accident. I was in a comma.
  7. I heard 80% of all accident happen within 10 miles of home. So I moved.
  8. Sometimes I say "nope" by accident. Nope unintended.
  9. A man died in a tragic skydiving accident. Some say he left an impact on the world.
  10. I named my son Bob Ross Because he's a happy little accident.
  11. If your mom is 17 and your dad is 18, what does that make you? An accident.
  12. Did you guys hear about the 4 car accident in Mexico? ...94 people died.
  13. I almost lost my hearing in an accident... It was a near-deaf experience.
  14. Want to save 15% or more on car insurance? Just leave the scene of the accident
  15. You must have been born on a highway because that's where most accidents happen.

Accidently joke, You must have been born on a highway

Cheeky Accidently Jokes that Will Make You and Your Friends Chuckle

What funny jokes about accidently you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean accidentally jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make accidently pranks.

I accidently bought a fleshlight instead of a flashlight.

When the power went out I was s**....

A lawyer dies, and somehow manages to go to heaven

When he gets there, he's greeted by St. Peter himself. The lawyer says, "What happened? I wasn't in an accident and I'm too young to die. I'm only 52!"
St. Peter says, "Nope, by our records, you are 84, and that's a pretty good life."
The lawyer yells, "84! How did you figure that?"
St. Peter responds, "We added up your client billing time sheets."

"This is the hardest part of our job," said the police officer after Adam was pronounced dead in the accident.

"Yeah, but break the news slowly. His wife is a very sensitive person."
The police officer knocks on the door and Adam's wife opens it.
"Are you Adam's widow?" said the police.

Two Police officers.

Two police officers c**... their car into a tree. After a moment of silence, one of them says:
Wow, that's got to be the fastest we've ever gotten to an accident site.

My wife was just in a minor accident. She's told the police that the man she hit was on his phone and drinking a Coke at the time

But they keep going on about how he can do what he wants in his own living room.

Two Brazilian men die in a skydiving accident.

A woman is watching the news with her husband when the newscaster says Two Brazilian men die in a skydiving accident.

The woman starts crying to her husband, sobbing That's horrible!!! So many men dying that way!
Confused, he says, Yes dear, it is sad, but they were skydiving, and there is always that risk involved.

After a few minutes, the woman, still sobbing, asks, How many is a Brazilian?

An officer pulls up at the scene of an accident

where a car has driven through a field, killed several livestock and crashed into a barn. He decides to interview Steve who is struggling to keep his balance and is being propped up by Karen.
"Been out for a few have we mate?" asks the officer.
"Shuure ave mate" grins Steve.
"I realise you are very drunk sir," states the officer, "but that is absolutely no excuse to let your wife drive you home!"

So these three lawyers are zooming along a country road and they get into an accident with a gravedigger.

So the gravedigger pulls himself out of his car and he's okay, but the lawyers are kind of messed up, so he buries them, right there, and walks into town and calls the Sheriff. 'Sheriff,' he says, 'terrible accident I just had. Three lawyers in it, they was all dead, so I buried them.' Sheriff says, "What?
You went ahead and buried them already? Are yousure they was dead?' Gravedigger says reluctantly,
"Well, they said they wasn't, but you know how those fellas lie.

In celebration of my very first Cake Day, I'm reposting one of my own jokes:

A truck loaded with Worcestershire sauce is driving through Saskatoon, Saskatchewan when it collides with a Nissan Qashqai.
The truck then careens down the road and hits a car from Massachusetts, injuring the two otorhinolaryngologists inside. One of them, suffering from Schistosomiasis, has a myocardial infarction.
A bystander witnesses the entire event and quickly calls to report the accident on his Huawei.
The emergency operator asks the bystander, "What happened?"
"It's hard to say."

A grandson asks his grandfather: "Grandpa, is it true that in 1986 there was an accident at Chernobyl Nuclear Power Plant?"

"Yes, there was"
answers the Grandpa and patted the grandson's head.
"Grandpa, is it true that it had absolutely no consequences?"
"Yes, absolutely"
answered the Grandpa, and patted the grandson's other head.

So this guy lost his right foot in an accident

Lucky for him, he got a great prosthetic, so nobody knew he's wearing a prosthetic foot.
Some years later he met a girl, but didn't tell her about his 'disability'. They got married and on wedding night, he took off his prosthetic foot to show his new bride.
Horrified, she straight called her mom.
"Mum, you wouldn't believe it. He only got one foot!"
The mum then yelled back at her "g**... child, be grateful! Your dad is only six inches!"

A policeman knocked at my door.....

I answered and he said "Mr. Smith? it's your wife, I'm afraid it looks like she's been in an accident."
I said "I know, but she has a great personality and is a wonderful m̶u̶m̶ cook."

Mom, someone called me gangster at school today.

Mom: Dont worry I'll go tomorrow and solve this problem
Son: Make sure it looks like an accident.

When I awoke from the accident and they told me my fingers were broken...

it was hard to grasp.

A boy knocks his father down the stairs in a freak accident.

The father breaks his neck and dies, leaving his son to mourn for days. However, one night, the boy wakes up to see an apparition of his father before him. All at once, he breaks down crying, and screams out, "I'm sorry!"
His father responds, "Hi Sorry, I'm dead!"

I saved 15% on car insurance by switching....

The gear to reverse and pulling away from the accident

I saw 3 men standing at the urinals.

The first man, a Jewish guy, was peeing 4 streams.
"What happened to you?" I asked.
He explained "Accident at my circumcision. The rabbi had Parkinson's."
The next man, a big tough trucker, was peeing 6 streams.
"And what is your problem?" I asked.
He grunted "I had a fight with a rottweiler..."
The third man, an elderly, absent-minded looking guy, was peeing 30 streams.
"Oh my gosh, what the h**... happened to you?!?" I gasped.
He looked down, then sighed.
"Oh dear, I forgot to pull down my zipper again."

My girlfriend wanted a favor from me

Her: I want you to kill my ex and make it seem like an accident
Me: Say no more
Detective: It looks like the killer beat him to death and then placed a banana peel by his feet

I just found out that my friend broke all his fingers in a freak accident.

I can't even imagine how he feels.

In a recent laboratory accident, a technician was frozen to absolute zero

but he's 0k now.

Accidently joke, In a recent laboratory accident, a technician was frozen to absolute zero