The Best 69 Accidentally Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Accidentally jokes. There are some accidentally casually jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these accidentally incident puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Accidentally Jokes and Puns

TIFU by accidentally cheating on my wife at a BDSM convention with a woman who was wearing the same leather mask

Whoops, wrong sub

If Queen Elizabeth accidentally farts during dinner, the other guests are supposed to pretend like nothing happened.

Noble gases should have no reaction.

My friend's a scientist and accidentally chilled his lab rat to absolute zero...

At first the rat was just frozen, but he's 0K now.

Accidentally joke, My friend's a scientist and accidentally chilled his lab rat to absolute zero...

A man on fire

A man is filling up his car tank with gasoline and accidentally gets some on his hand. He doesn't notice it, so when he gets into his car he lights a cigarette. His arm instantly catches on fire. The man sticks his arm out the window and begins to wave it around attempting to blow out the flames crawling up his sleeve. A policeman sees the man struggling with his arm on fire and arrests him on the spot for an unlicensed firearm.

During a funeral...

The pallbearers accidentally bump into a wall and hear a faint moan. They open the casket and find out that the woman is actually alive.
She lives for 10 more years and then dies. There is another funeral for her. At the end of the service, the pallbearers carry out the casket.
As they are walking out, the husband cries out, "Watch out for the wall!"


I accidentally locked my keys in my car in front of an abortion clinic...

They gave me the dirtiest look when I went in and asked to borrow a coathanger.

I accidentally gave my girlfriend a glue stick instead of chapstick...

She's still not talking to me :(

Accidentally joke, I accidentally gave my girlfriend a glue stick instead of chapstick...

Why did the sperm cross the road?

I accidentally put on the wrong sock this morning.

I accidentally rear ended someone at a stop light while not paying attention..

We get out to exchange information, and I notice the guy is a midget. The first thing he says is, "I'm not happy." To which I replied, "Well which one are you then?"

North Korean submarine accidentally destroys another North Korean submarine

Woops, wrong sub

I accidentally flogged another dominatrix's client.

Oops, wrong sub.

You can explore accidentally deliberately reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean accidentally drain dad jokes. There are also accidentally puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


TIL in 1974 Russians accidentally blew up their own submarine, thinking it was an enemy

Oops, wrong sub

I accidentally called out my mums name during sex

and my sister hasn't talked to me since.

I accidentally clicked on a "You've won an iPhone"-popup.

Luckliy it was only a virus.

A man accidentally rear-ended a car

The driver whom was rear-ended steps out of the car and, to the mans surprise, was a dwarf. He walks to the man and says "I am NOT happy."

The man responds: "Then which one are you?"

A police officer accidentally arrested a judge who was dressed like a convict for a costume party.

He quickly learned to never book a judge by their cover

Accidentally joke, A police officer accidentally arrested a judge who was dressed like a convict for a costume party.

I accidentally swallowed a handful of Scrabble tiles...

My next bowel movement could spell disaster.

I accidentally said Hello to a feminist the other day.

The court trial starts tomorrow.

I accidentally dropped my phone from a 20-story building.

It's a good thing I had it on Flight Mode.


Accidentally called 911

Set my house on fire to not look stupid.

I accidentally walked in on my daughter masturbating

I accidentally walked in on my daughter masturbating with a cucumber and I immediately shut the door.

"Ewe gross, I was going to eat that later, now it's going to taste like a cucumber"

I tried to start an online bakery.

But I accidentally deleted all my cookies.

A Scotsman, an Englishman and an Indian man were waiting outside the delivery room.

The matron comes out and explains that the hospital has accidentally mixed up the babies.

The Scot goes straight in and picks up the brown baby.

The Indian says "Are you sure that's your baby?"

The Scot says "No, but there's no way I'm going to risk leaving here with an English baby."

The other day, my wife asked me to pass her lipstick.

I accidentally gave her a glue stick.

She still isn't talking to me.

I bought my son a puppy for his birthday, but I accidentally backed over him in the driveway and killed him...

Sure is gonna be tough raising this puppy without him.

People keep accidentally asking me to purchase meat for them

"By mistake?"

"Oh come on.. Not you as well"

My wife and I had a huge argument because she accidentally flooded the kitchen

but we've sorted it now. It's all water under the fridge.

I told my friend people keep accidentally asking me to buy meat for them.

He asked: "By mistake?"

I said: "Oh come on, not you too!"

I accidentally sent my friend flowers over the internet

Whoops, E-Daisies

My girlfriend accidentally discovered a way to get long lashes instantly

By showing a bit of ankles in Saudi Arabia

I accidentally combined Fahrenheit and milliliters

FmL

I accidentally slept with my third cousin.

The first two were better.

Instead of "Who's your daddy?" I accidentally said "How's your daddy?"

And we put our clothes back on and discussed her father's cholesterol.

I accidentally referred to my wife as my girlfriend today

Their names aren't even that similar

"911, what's your emergency?"

*"Me and my friend were out hunting and... I accidentally shot him and now he's dead!"*
"Alright, sir, calm down. Now, we need to be sure he's actually dead before we do anything else."
**BANG**
*"Okay, what next?"*

I just accidentally super-glued my thumb & index finger together, and at first started to panic…

But then I remembered that it's always going to be okay.

BOSS: What's going on here?

BOSS: What's going on here?

JAMES: Dave's mad because he specifically labelled his sandwich in the fridge and I accidentally-

DAVE: Not accidentally, on purpose!!

JAMES: ugh ok FINE. And I, "on purpose", slept with his wife

I accidentally drank the water we used to color eggs for Easter.

I think I dyed a little inside.

My dad come up to my room, and handed me my soaking wet wallet, after accidentally leaving it in my jeans as they went through the wash.

"Son, you're going to have to stop money laundering."

I accidentally let my cows graze in a patch of marijuana, and if anyone finds out I could lose everything.

The steaks have never been higher.

Did you hear about the archeologist who accidentally destroyed his dig site?

His career is in ruins.

Two men on a train both have black eyes.

Man 1: "how did you get that black eye?"

Man 2: "I was buying my ticket from this beautiful busty girl and instead of saying 'a ticket to Pittsburgh' I accidentally said I wanted 'a picket to Tittsburgh' so she hit me. How about you?"

Man 1: "Yeah, something similar happened to me. I was sitting around having breakfast with my wife and I meant to say 'pass the wheaties' and I accidentally said 'you ruined my life you stupid bitch'."

I accidentally typed my symptoms into IMDB instead of WebMD

and found out I have Gary Busey

I accidentally installed a program that keeps showing me a picture of a Chinese politician.

I think it's maoware.

I accidentally joined an organization...

I accidentally joined a pro-secession organization.

When I tried to leave, I was elected as their chairman.

Women really do hold grudges over the smallest things...

My wife asked me to pass her the lip balm and I accidentally gave her a tube of super glue. It's been a week now and she's still not talking to me.

A woman was sobbing on the side of the street because she had accidentally locked her keys in her car,

a passing soldier saw this and assured her that he can help.

She looks on amazed as he removes his trousers, rolls them into a tight ball and rubs them against the car door.

Magically it opens....... "That's so clever," the woman gasps. "How did you do it?"

"Easy," replies the soldier. "These are my khakis."

My wife divorced me because I accidentally put it in the wrong hole

Fair enough it was her sister's but still...

I accidentally bought too many art supplies

I'm having an excess stencil crisis.

I accidentally sprayed deodorant in my mouth...

and now I talk with a strange Axe scent.

It's just the worst thing ever when you shout the wrong name during sex.

I accidentally shouted out my sister's name last week…

My mum was not happy!

I accidentally called my wife a 'trophy' the other day...

She shot back, Oh come on, just because you always finish first doesn't mean you win anything!

I accidentally sprayed deodorant in my mouth

Now when I talk, I have this weird axe scent

I've accidentally swallowed some Scrabble tiles.

My next vowel movement could spell disaster.

I tried to explain to my 4-year-old son that it's perfectly normal to accidentally poop your pants,

but he's still making fun of me.

I accidentally deleted an audiobook I was listening to

Now I'll never hear the end of it

My Roomba accidentally went out the front door, and the neighbourhood animals immediately started attacking it.

Nature abhors a vacuum.

Yesterday I accidentally sent a naked picture of myself to everyone in my address book.

Not only was it embarrassing but it cost a fortune in stamps.

I accidentally sprayed deodorant in my mouth today...

Now when I talk I have this weird axe scent.

A blonde accidentally kills a cop and calls the police:

- Hello, is this 911?
- Yes, what is your emergency?
- I called to inform you that you're 910 now.

I was cleaning one of my finger guns.

I accidentally blew a hole through my air guitar.

Guy: I have bad news...

Girl: Me too...Mike cheated on me...

Guy: I have good news!

Girl: huh?

Guy: I accidentally hit him on my way to work today

Karen's 911 call

Karen was cleaning Kyle's rifle and shot him by accident. She calls 911.

"It's my husband," said Karen. "I've accidentally shot him... I've killed him," she sobbed.

"Please calm down, ma'am," the 911 operator tried to sooth her. "Can you please make sure he's actually dead?"

\[Click\] BANG!

"Okay, I've done that. What now?"

I accidentally used the dog's shampoo this morning

I feel like a good boy.

A parrot accidentally swallowed a viagara tablet and went berserk

He started humping everything he could lay his wings on .

The owner called the vet who said that the overheating could damage his brain so asked him to put the parrot in a freezer.

The owner somehow caught the parrot and forced into the freezer and forced it shut.

After 10 mins, he slowly opened only to find the parrot sweating profusely.

The owner asked 'why are you sweating?'.

The parrot said ' Do you know how hard it is to open the legs of a frozen chicken?'

I accidentally wore a red shirt to Target.

tldr, I'm covering for Gary this weekend.

I accidentally rubbed ketchup in my eyes...

I now have Heinzsight.

Did you hear about the old prospector who accidentally swallowed a gold nugget?

I saw him digging through is feces, so I asked him what he was doing. He said he was just mining his own business.

British Joke

I remember waking up one morning, and my wife asked me, "Honey, give me the lipstick." I accidentally gave her a glue-stick! She hasn't talked to me since...

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the accidentally purposely jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working accidentally tifu piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes