Accidental Jokes
111 accidental jokes and hilarious accidental puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about accidental that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
What do dentists, fatality, and faulty pregnancy all have in common? Accidental jokes. Read this article to learn about the accidental talmudist and how the concept of accidental jokes can offer insight into both comedy and tragedy. Discover the power of the unintended joke and its implications for both humor and sorrow.
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Funniest Accidental Short Jokes
Short accidental jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The accidental humour may include short unfortunate jokes also.
- If Queen Elizabeth accidentally farts during dinner, the other guests are supposed to pretend like nothing happened. Noble gases should have no reaction.
- I accidentally swallowed a handful of scrabble tiles... My next bowel movement could spell disaster.
- I accidentally sprayed deodorant in my mouth today... Now when I talk I have this weird axe scent.
- I bought my son a puppy for his birthday, but I accidentally backed over him in the driveway and killed him... Sure is gonna be tough raising this puppy without him.
- My crush just sneezed and I accidentally replied "bless you !" Now she's staring at the bush, wondering who said that.
- My son accidentally glued his autobiography to himself That's his story and he's sticking to it.
- TIL in 1974 Russians accidentally blew up their own submarine, thinking it was an enemy Oops, wrong sub
- I accidentally said Gazuntite after my crush sneezed. Now she's staring at the bushes wondering who said that.
- A police officer accidentally arrested a judge who was dressed like a convict for a costume party. He quickly learned to never book a judge by their cover
- One spelling mistake can completely ruin your marriage I accidentally texted my wife I'm having a wonderful time. I wish you were her.
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Accidental One Liners
Which accidental one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with accidental? I can suggest the ones about unsuspecting and careless.
- A chemist accidentally froze himself at -273.15C Don't worry though, he's 0K
- I was cleaning one of my finger guns. I accidentally blew a hole through my air guitar.
- What do you call a detective who just solves cases accidentally? Sheer luck Holmes
- I accidentally sent my friend flowers over the internet Whoops, E-Daisies
- I accidentally clicked on a "You've won an iPhone"-popup. Luckliy it was only a virus.
- I accidentally bought too many art supplies I'm having an excess stencil crisis.
- I accidentally put corn starch in my novel.. The plot thickened.
- I accidentally deleted an audiobook I was listening to Now I'll never hear the end of it
- I accidentally combined Fahrenheit and milliliters FmL
- I tried to start an online bakery. But I accidentally deleted all my cookies.
- I accidentally said Hello to a feminist the other day. The court trial starts tomorrow.
- I accidentally rubbed ketchup in my eyes... I now have Heinzsight.
- I accidentally planted the wrong flowers in my garden Oopsie daisies
- Honey, I accidentally set your son on fire! Just kidding, it's not your son, it's arson.
- I accidentally ate all the dumplings, and now I feel dumplingoverished.
Accidental Pregnancy Jokes
Here is a list of funny accidental pregnancy jokes and even better accidental pregnancy puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- What do accidental pregnancies and locked cars both have in common? Both can be fixed with a coathanger.
- What do you call an accidental pregnancy in Canada? A Tinder egg.
- There are two types of parents... The ones who had their child through an accidental pregnancy, and the liars.
Cheeky Accidental Jokes to Experience Good Cheer & Frivolity
What funny jokes about accidental you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean unforeseen jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make accidental pranks.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
TIFU by accidentally cheating on my wife at a b**... convention with a woman who was wearing the same leather mask
Whoops, wrong sub
An 85 year old man goes to his doctor...
"Doc, I got a big problem."
"I understand you were recently remarried, is that right?"
"Yes. My new wife is 23 years old, and that's exactly the problem. She just told me she's pregnant! I haven't been a father in sixty years, and I don't know what to do."
"Hmm. Let me tell you a story that I think will help explain what's going on here: A near sighted man decides to go bear hunting. On his way out the door, he accidentally picks up his umbrella instead of his rifle. Once he gets to the woods, he is instantly attacked by a ferocious 1,200 pound bear. He picks up his umbrella and shoots it dead. Does that story make sense to you?"
"No! Somebody else must have shot that bear."
"My point exactly."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Wrong Email
A Minnesota couple decided to vacation to Florida during the winter. They planned to stay at the very same hotel where they spent their honeymoon 20 years earlier. Because of hectic schedules, it was difficult to coordinate their travel schedules. So, the husband left Minnesota and flew to Florida on Thursday. His wife would fly down the following day.
The husband checked into the hotel. There was a computer in his room, so he decided to send an e-mail to his wife. However, he accidentally left out one letter in her e-mail address, and without realizing his error, he sent the e-mail.
Meanwhile.....somewhere in Houston, a widow had just returned home from her husband's f**.... He was a minister of many years who was called home to glory following a sudden heart attack. The widow decided to check her e-mail, expecting messages from relatives and friends. After reading the first message, she fainted.
The widow's son rushed into the room, found his mother on the floor, and saw the computer screen which read:
To: My Loving Wife
Subject: I've Arrived
Date: 16 May 2003
I know you're surprised to hear from me. They have computers here now and you are allowed to send e-mails to your loved ones. I've just arrived and have been checked in. I see that everything has been prepared for your arrival tomorrow. Looking forward to seeing you then! Hope your journey is not as uneventful as mine was.
P.S. Sure is hot down here!
My friend's a scientist and accidentally chilled his lab rat to absolute zero...
At first the rat was just frozen, but he's 0K now.
A guy walks into work...
And both ears are bandaged.
The boss says, "What happened to your ears?"
"Yesterday I was ironing a shirt when the phone rang and I accidentally answered the iron."
The boss responds "we'll that explains one ear, but what happened to the other?"
And the guy responds "Well, I had to call the doctor!"
I am sorry five.
A Chinese man is walking down the street after just arriving in the U.S. for the first time. He possesses a limited understanding of English. While caught up in the splendor of the city he accidentally bumps into another person.
The Chinese man quickly responds "I'm Sorry!"
The American man says, "I am sorry too."
The Chinese man says "I am sorry three."
The American says "What are you sorry for?"
The Chinese man replies "I am sorry five."
A caring son
It seems a farm boy accidentally overturned his wagon load of corn.
The farmer who lived nearby heard the noise. "Hey Willis!! " the farmer yelled. "Forget your troubles. Come in with us. Then I'll help you get the wagon up. "
"That's mighty nice of you, " Willis answered, "but I don't think Pa would like me to. "
"Aw, come on," the farmer insisted.
"Well okay," the boy finally agreed, and added, "But Pa won't like it. "
After a hearty dinner, Willis thanked his host. "I feel a lot better now, but I know Pa is going to be real upset. "
"Don't be foolish! " the neighbor said with a smile. "By the way, where is he? "
"Under the wagon. "
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I work at a s**... bank, and today I accidentally tipped over one of the shelves...
I don't know what came over me.
A man on fire
A man is filling up his car tank with gasoline and accidentally gets some on his hand. He doesn't notice it, so when he gets into his car he lights a cigarette. His arm instantly catches on fire. The man sticks his arm out the window and begins to wave it around attempting to blow out the flames crawling up his sleeve. A policeman sees the man struggling with his arm on fire and arrests him on the spot for an unlicensed firearm.
I accidentally locked my key in my car in front of an abortion clinic...
They gave me the dirtiest look when I went in and asked to borrow a coathanger.
I accidentally gave my girlfriend a glue stick instead of chapstick...
She's still not talking to me :(
I accidentally went to Star Trek convention dressed as Chewbacca...
It was a Wookie mistake
I accidentally rear ended someone at a stop light while not paying attention..
We get out to exchange information, and I notice the guy is a midget. The first thing he says is, "I'm not happy." To which I replied, "Well which one are you then?"
North Korean submarine accidentally destroys another North Korean submarine
Woops, wrong sub
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
LPT: If you are a minor, get rid of your bathroom mirror so you won't see yourself n**... and accidentally get arrested and registered as a s**... offender.
Spread the word.
I bought my son a puppy...
I bought my son a puppy for his birthday but I accidentally ran him over as I was backing out my driveway. At least I still have the puppy
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I accidentally flogged another d**...'s client.
Oops, wrong sub.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I accidentally called out my mums name during s**...
and my sister hasn't talked to me since.
TIL the excuse the US Marine used in May 1943 after accidentally friendly fire'ing a British U-boat.
Woops, wrong sub.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Accidentally called 911
Set my house on fire to not look s**....
I had a friend who used to draw on her eyebrows.
One day, she accidentally drew them to high. When I told her, she looked surprised.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Two bricks of salt visit a meat factory...
And while they are looking down at one of the bone grinders, one of the salt brick accidentally falls down into the machine. The other salt brick watches in panic as his friend gets s**... into the blades and gears. After a while, the salt brick comes out from the other side of the grinding machine, all ground into pieces and powder.
"Oh my god! Are you okay Jimmy?" The salt brick on the top asks.
"Oh yeah I'm fine."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I accidentally walked in on my daughter m**...
I accidentally walked in on my daughter m**... with a cucumber and I immediately shut the door.
"Ewe g**..., I was going to eat that later, now it's going to taste like a cucumber"
A Scotsman, an Englishman and an Indian man were waiting outside the delivery room.
The matron comes out and explains that the hospital has accidentally mixed up the babies.
The Scot goes straight in and picks up the brown baby.
The Indian says "Are you sure that's your baby?"
The Scot says "No, but there's no way I'm going to risk leaving here with an English baby."
TIFU by accidentally walking out with the footlong BLT of the guy ahead of me in line
Whoops, wrong sub
People keep accidentally asking me to purchase meat for them
"By mistake?"
"Oh come on.. Not you as well"
My wife and I had a huge argument because she accidentally flooded the kitchen
but we've sorted it now. It's all water under the fridge.
There was a boy playing in the farm field when his mom called him in for breakfast.
On his way in he kicked a cow, pig, and a chicken. So when he gets to the table he sees a dry bowl of cereal. "What's the deal?" he asks. His mom says " You kicked the cow so no milk for you, you kicked the pig so no bacon for you, and you kicked the chicken so no eggs for you." Then his father walks into the kitchen and accidentally kicked the cat. The the boy says "Do you want me to tell him or should you?"
My girlfriend accidentally discovered a way to get long lashes instantly
By showing a bit of ankles in Saudi Arabia
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I accidentally slept with my third cousin.
The first two were better.
Instead of "Who's your daddy?" I accidentally said "How's your daddy?"
And we put our clothes back on and discussed her father's cholesterol.
I accidentally referred to my wife as my girlfriend today
Their names aren't even that similar
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
"911, what's your emergency?"
*"Me and my friend were out hunting and... I accidentally shot him and now he's dead!"*
"Alright, sir, calm down. Now, we need to be sure he's actually dead before we do anything else."
**BANG**
*"Okay, what next?"*
I just accidentally super-glued my thumb & index finger together, and at first started to panic…
But then I remembered that it's always going to be okay.
BOSS: What's going on here?
BOSS: What's going on here?
JAMES: Dave's mad because he specifically labelled his sandwich in the fridge and I accidentally-
DAVE: Not accidentally, on purpose!!
JAMES: ugh ok FINE. And I, "on purpose", slept with his wife
I accidentally drank the water we used to color eggs for Easter.
I think I dyed a little inside.
My dad come up to my room, and handed me my soaking wet wallet, after accidentally leaving it in my jeans as they went through the wash.
"Son, you're going to have to stop money laundering."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I accidentally let my cows graze in a patch of m**..., and if anyone finds out I could lose everything.
The steaks have never been higher.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Two men on a train both have black eyes.
Man 1: "how did you get that black eye?"
Man 2: "I was buying my ticket from this beautiful b**... girl and instead of saying 'a ticket to Pittsburgh' I accidentally said I wanted 'a picket to Tittsburgh' so she hit me. How about you?"
Man 1: "Yeah, something similar happened to me. I was sitting around having breakfast with my wife and I meant to say 'pass the wheaties' and I accidentally said 'you ruined my life you s**... b**...'."
I accidentally typed my symptoms into IMDB instead of WebMD
and found out I have Gary Busey
Joey moves to a nudist colony
Joey moves into a nudist colony. He receives a letter from his grandmother asking him to send her a current photo of him in his new location. Too embarrassed to let her know that he lives in a nudist colony, he cuts a photo in half and mails it. The next day he discovers that he had accidentally sent the bottom half of the photo.
He is extremely worried but then remembers that his grandmother's eyesight is poor and hopes that she doesn't notice.
A few weeks later, he receives a letter from his grandmother. It reads
Dear Joey
Thank you for the picture. May I suggest that you get a haircut, your hair makes your nose look small.
Love Grandma
I hate spelling errors.
You mix up two letters accidentally and your whole joke is urined.
I accidentally installed a program that keeps showing me a picture of a Chinese politician.
I think it's maoware.
I accidentally joined an organization...
I accidentally joined a pro-secession organization.
When I tried to leave, I was elected as their chairman.
My wife divorced me because I accidentally put it in the wrong hole
Fair enough it was her sister's but still...
Bigger in Texas
A blind man visits Texas. When he gets to his hotel room, he feels the bed. Wow, this bed is big!
Everything is big in Texas, says the bellhop.
The man heads downstairs to the bar, settles into a huge barstool and orders a beer. A mug is placed between his hands. Wow these drinks are big!
The bartender replies, Everything is big in Texas.
After downing a few, the blind man asks where the bathroom is. Second door to the right, says the bartender.
The blind man heads for the bathroom but accidentally enters the third door, which leads to the swimming pool, and he falls in. Popping his head up from under the water and flailing his arms, he shouts, Don't flush, don't flush!
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
It's just the worst thing ever when you shout the wrong name during s**....
I accidentally shouted out my sister's name last week…
My mum was not happy!
I accidentally called my wife a 'trophy' the other day...
She shot back, Oh come on, just because you always finish first doesn't mean you win anything!
I accidentally deleted the manuscript of my book '1000 Ways to Cure an Itch'
It looks like I'll have to start from scratch
My Roomba accidentally went out the front door, and the neighbourhood animals immediately started attacking it.
Nature abhors a vacuum.
A blonde accidentally kills a cop and calls the police:
- Hello, is this 911?
- Yes, what is your emergency?
- I called to inform you that you're 910 now.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I accidentally swallowed a small gold nugget
So I dug through my f**... to find it. My wife walked in and asked me what I was doing. I told her I was just mining my own business.
An old cowboy walks into a barbershop for a shave and a haircut.
He tells the barber he can't get all his whiskers off because his cheeks are wrinkled from age. The barber gets a little wooden ball from a cup on the shelf and tells the old cowboy to put it inside his cheek to spread out the skin.
When he's finished, the old cowboy tells the barber that was the cleanest shave he'd had in years, but he wanted to know what would have
happened if he had accidentally swallowed that little ball. The barber replied, just bring it back in a couple of days like everyone else does.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A f**... service is being held in a synagogue for a woman who has just passed away.
At the end of the service, the pall bearers are carrying the casket out when they accidentally bump into a wall jarring the casket.
They hear a faint moan. They open the casket and find that the woman is actually alive. She lives for 10 more years and then dies.
A ceremony is again held at the same synagogue and at the end of the ceremony the pall bearers are again carrying the casket.
As they are walking the husband cries out, "Watch out for the wall!"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
My dad accidentally ordered the wrong paving materials
Now That's his own dumb asphalt.
why don't claustrophobic people like accidentally meeting the same person twice?
They don't want to be reminded that it's a small world
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A f**... service is held for a woman who just passed away. As the pallbearers carry the casket out, they accidentally bump into a wall.
Suddenly, a faint moaning is heard from the casket. The casket is opened, and it is found that the woman is actually alive. She lives for ten more years and then dies.
They have another f**... for her. At the end of the service, the pallbearers carry out the casket.
As they are walking, the husband cries out, "Watch out for the wall!"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Guys, abortion may be i**... soon. If you accidentally get a girl pregnant, make sure she's an anti-vaxxer.
Instead of paying for 18 years of child support, you'll only have to pay for 3.
I almost lost my job as a DJ at a country music station
I accidentally played the same three songs for five hours. Fortunately, our listeners didn't seem to notice.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
An Scotsman accidentally dropped a penny into an open sewage pit
The pit was full of e**..., and after a few moments of thinking the Scotsman concluded:
"It's not worth it. I will never dive in for a penny!"
Then he checked his pockets for some change, picked two pounds and throw it to the pit:
"Now it's better" he said and jumped into the sewage.
