I accidentally swallowed a handful of Scrabble tiles...
My next bowel movement could spell disaster.
I accidentally gave my girlfriend a glue stick instead of chapstick...
She's still not talking to me :(
I accidentally locked my keys in my car in front of an abortion clinic...
They gave me the dirtiest look when I went in and asked to borrow a coathanger.
I accidentally sent my friend flowers over the internet
Whoops, E-Daisies
I accidentally clicked on a "You've won an iPhone"-popup.
Luckliy it was only a virus.
I accidentally referred to my wife as my girlfriend today
Their names aren't even that similar
I accidentally typed my symptoms into IMDB instead of WebMD
and found out I have Gary Busey
I accidentally sprayed deodorant in my mouth...
and now I talk with a strange Axe scent.
Accidentally called 911
Set my house on fire to not look stupid.
I accidentally bought too many art supplies
I'm having an excess stencil crisis.
I accidentally installed a program that keeps showing me a picture of a Chinese politician.
I think it's maoware.
I accidentally rear ended someone at a stop light while not paying attention..
We get out to exchange information, and I notice the guy is a midget. The first thing he says is, "I'm not happy." To which I replied, "Well which one are you then?"
I accidentally called out my mums name during sex
and my sister hasn't talked to me since.
I accidentally walked in on my daughter masturbating
I accidentally walked in on my daughter masturbating with a cucumber and I immediately shut the door.
"Ewe gross, I was going to eat that later, now it's going to taste like a cucumber"
I accidentally flogged another dominatrix's client.
Oops, wrong sub.
I accidentally drank the water we used to color eggs for Easter.
I think I dyed a little inside.
I accidentally combined Fahrenheit and milliliters
FmL
I accidentally slept with my third cousin.
The first two were better.
I accidentally dropped my phone from a 20-story building.
It's a good thing I had it on Flight Mode.
I accidentally said Hello to a feminist the other day.
The court trial starts tomorrow.
I accidentally let my cows graze in a patch of marijuana, and if anyone finds out I could lose everything.
The steaks have never been higher.
I just accidentally super-glued my thumb & index finger together, and at first started to panic…
But then I remembered that it's always going to be okay.
I accidentally joined an organization...
I accidentally joined a pro-secession organization.
When I tried to leave, I was elected as their chairman.
I accidentally went to Star Trek convention dressed as Chewbacca...
It was a Wookie mistake
Accidentally fell asleep at my grandmas funeral
Wouldn't you know, I woke up with mourningwood.
I accidentally dropped my girlfriends epilepsy medication in the washing machine...
...now her clothes don't fit anymore
I accidentally passed my Wife the super-glue instead of her Lipstick..
She hasn't spoken to me for days.
I accidentally ran over and killed my neighbor's cat today...
I was too scared to tell him to his face, so I left a note saying "curiosity was here."
Help! I accidentally swallowed a mint!
Never mind, I'm cool now.
I accidentally took my birth control pill twice yesterday
and when I woke up this morning, one of my kids was gone.
I accidentally swallowed a turntable needle.
Good thing nothing major happened good thing nothing major happened good thing nothing major happened good thing nothing major happened
I accidentally played dad instead of dead when I ran into a bear
Now he can ride a bike and has been through college.
I accidentally fell off a 50-foot ladder
but good thing I was only on the 3rd step
What do you do if you accidentally cut off your cat's tail?
Take him to WalMart. They are the largest retailer in the world.
How can you tell if you accidentally wandered into a gay bar?
Everyone keeps offering to push your stool in
I accidentally called Nike instead of the suicide hotline
They said just do it.
Accidentally used my wife's electric toothbrush...
I don't remember her eating fish for lunch.
I accidentally ordered a ham and cheddar instead of a turkey and swiss...
Whoops, wrong sub
Accidentally told a joke at work today
Lost a bet and had to grow a mustache.
Co-worker: "Hey booskadoo247, how do you like your mustache?"
booskado247: "It's growing on me."
Accidental Comedian strikes again!
I accidentally hit my head on a window today...
It was paneful.
Did you hear about the man who got a hatchet stuck in his teeth?
It was accidental.
I accidentally drank a bottle of ink.
The doctor says I'll be fine, but I feel as though I've dyed inside.
I accidentally swallowed a lot of food coloring this morning.
I dyed a little inside.
I accidentally started a worldwide terrorist organization.
I just didn't expect it to blow up so much
I accidentally washed my cameras memory card.
Thankfully it still works but now all my images are watermarked.
What did I do when I accidentally landed in Iraq?
Iran
I accidentally ran over my neighbor's cat the other day.
So, immediately, I went and knocked on her door, and I said, "I'm terribly sorry, ma'am; I think I've killed your cat. To make amends for this tragic mistake, I'll replace him if you'd like."
She said, "That's very noble of you, but how are you at catching mice?"
(accidentally invented when heard words out of context) What kind of food did Hitler eat?
Notseafood
What did the dentist say when he made a mistake?
That was accidental.
Coworker gave the best accidental joke after mentioning why she liked Algebra.
"I love solving for X, and I don't even know why!"
I think I might have accidentally angered my doctor during my physical...
He told me, "That does it! The gloves are coming off!"
My dentist pulled out the wrong tooth.
He says it's accidental.
Do you ever just accidentally infuse an extra atom of oxygen into your water?
Fear not, H2O2 is H2O too
I accidentally mixed my coffee my redbull..
After 15 minutes of driving I realised I forgot my car.
I accidentally took my cats medication today.
Don't ask me'ow I did it
I accidentally left my wallet in my jeans when I put them in the washing machine.
A few days later I got arrested for money laundering.
I accidentally bought a broken Nintendo console
I had to get a Wiifund
I accidentally went grocery shopping on an empty stomach
and now I'm the proud owner of aisle 4.
I accidentally filled the Escort with diesel.
She died.
I just accidentally shot my wife in the hand with a nail gun...
Well, that's what she gets for covering her eyes.
Accidentaly switching two letters...
...can completely urin a sentence.
If you accidentally knock up an anti-vaxxer, fear not!
You'll probably only have to pay a few years of child support.
I accidentally locked my keys inside my car outside of a planned parenthood
Going inside to ask for a hanger was pretty akward.......
I accidentally tried to milk a bull.
It was udder confusion.
I accidentally jumped out of a plane without a parachute
But dont worry i got the rest of my life to figure out how to survive it
I accidentally signed up for a escapology class...
I'm really struggling to get out of it.
I accidentally stabbed myself with a pen
It drew blood.
I accidentally stabbed my teacher in the face with a pencil.
I thought I would be in big trouble, but she turned a blind eye.
I accidentally walked in my roommate and saw him slathering himself with jars of Mayo.
What the Hellmann!
Accidentally broke my Irish friend's Pixar movie...
He wasn't amused, but he did say, You cracked me Up.
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