91+ Heartwarming Acci Jokes that Make You Laugh

Heartwarming Acci Jokes that Make You Laugh

Accidentally fell asleep at my grandmas f**...

Wouldn't you know, I woke up with mourningwood.

I accidently swallowed some scrabble tiles

My next dump could spell disaster

How can you tell if you accidentally wandered into a gay bar?

Everyone keeps offering to push your stool in

I almost got into an accident with someone who was texting and driving...

luckily I braked just in time or else I would've spilt my beer.

It was an accident

A father is driving with his young son who is asleep when he bumps the horn, waking his son. The father apologizes, saying it was an accident. The boy tells him he knows it was, to which the father asks how he knew it was an accident. The son replies "well you didn't yell d**... when you honked"

Accidentally told a joke at work today

Lost a bet and had to grow a mustache.

Co-worker: "Hey booskadoo247, how do you like your mustache?"

booskado247: "It's growing on me."

Accidental Comedian strikes again!

I accidentally locked my keys in my car in front of an abortion clinic...

They gave me the dirtiest look when I went in and asked to borrow a coathanger.

I accidentally gave my girlfriend a glue stick instead of chapstick...

She's still not talking to me :(

I accidentally went to Star Trek convention dressed as Chewbacca...

It was a Wookie mistake

I accidentally dropped my girlfriends epilepsy medication in the washing machine...

...now her clothes don't fit anymore

I accidentally rear ended someone at a stop light while not paying attention..

We get out to exchange information, and I notice the guy is a midget. The first thing he says is, "I'm not happy." To which I replied, "Well which one are you then?"

You can explore acci accident reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean acci unintended dad jokes. There are also acci puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.

I accidentally flogged another d**...'s client.

Oops, wrong sub.

I accidentally drank a bottle of ink.

The doctor says I'll be fine, but I feel as though I've dyed inside.

I accidentally called out my mums name during s**...

and my sister hasn't talked to me since.

There was an accident involving 2 cars in mexico

17 people were injured.

I accidentally clicked on a "You've won an iPhone"-popup.

Luckliy it was only a virus.

What do you do if you accidentally cut off your cat's tail?

Take him to WalMart. They are the largest retailer in the world.

I accidentally ran over and killed my neighbor's cat today...

I was too scared to tell him to his face, so I left a note saying "curiosity was here."

I accidentally hit my head on a window today...

It was paneful.

I accidentally called Nike instead of the s**... hotline

They said just do it.

I accidentally swallowed a handful of Scrabble tiles...

My next bowel movement could spell disaster.

I accidentally fell off a 50-foot ladder

but good thing I was only on the 3rd step

Help! I accidentally swallowed a mint!

Never mind, I'm cool now.

I accidentally swallowed a lot of food coloring this morning.

I dyed a little inside.

I accidentally said Hello to a feminist the other day.

The court trial starts tomorrow.

I accidentally dropped my phone from a 20-story building.

It's a good thing I had it on Flight Mode.

Accidentally called 911

Set my house on fire to not look s**....

I accidentally swallowed a turntable needle.

Good thing nothing major happened good thing nothing major happened good thing nothing major happened good thing nothing major happened

I accidentally walked in on my daughter m**...

I accidentally walked in on my daughter m**... with a cucumber and I immediately shut the door.

"Ewe g**..., I was going to eat that later, now it's going to taste like a cucumber"

I accidently bought a fleshlight instead of a flashlight.

When the power went out I was s**....

Accidentally used my wife's electric toothbrush...

I don't remember her eating fish for lunch.

I accidentally ordered a ham and cheddar instead of a turkey and swiss...

Whoops, wrong sub

I accidentally played dad instead of dead when I ran into a bear

Now he can ride a bike and has been through college.

I accidentally sent my friend flowers over the internet

Whoops, E-Daisies

I accidentally combined Fahrenheit and milliliters

FmL

I accidentally slept with my third cousin.

The first two were better.

I accidentally washed my cameras memory card.

Thankfully it still works but now all my images are watermarked.

Got into an accident today...

...with a little person. He got out of his car and said
"I am NOT happy!."

" well which one are you?"

There was an accident on the highway today.

I tried to help the victims, but there was so much blood that I felt sick and had to leave.
I'm sure they'll be okay until a different ambulance gets there.

I accidentally referred to my wife as my girlfriend today

Their names aren't even that similar

I just accidentally super-glued my thumb & index finger together, and at first started to panic…

But then I remembered that it's always going to be okay.

I accidentally drank the water we used to color eggs for Easter.

I think I dyed a little inside.

After being in an accident that disabled both my legs...

The doctor walked in with the medical bill,

I couldn't stand to look at it.

I accidentally let my cows graze in a patch of m**..., and if anyone finds out I could lose everything.

The steaks have never been higher.

I accidentally passed my Wife the super-glue instead of her Lipstick..

She hasn't spoken to me for days.

I accidentally typed my symptoms into IMDB instead of WebMD

and found out I have Gary Busey

I accidentally installed a program that keeps showing me a picture of a Chinese politician.

I think it's maoware.

I accidentally joined an organization...

I accidentally joined a pro-secession organization.

When I tried to leave, I was elected as their chairman.

I accidentally started a worldwide t**... organization.

I just didn't expect it to blow up so much

I accidentally bought too many art supplies

I'm having an excess stencil crisis.

I accidentally took my birth control pill twice yesterday

and when I woke up this morning, one of my kids was gone.

I accidentally sprayed deodorant in my mouth...

and now I talk with a strange Axe scent.

I accidentally broke two of my dad's Queen CDs.

Now I want to break three.

I accidentally handed my wife a gluestick instead of her chapstick.

She hasn't talked to me since.

I accidentally mixed up the words 'jacuzzi' and 'yakuza' online.

Now I'm in hot water with the Japanese Mafia.

I accidentally sprayed a deodorant in my mouth,

Now I have this weird axe scent.

I accidentally called my wife a 'trophy' the other day...

She shot back, Oh come on, just because you always finish first doesn't mean you win anything!

Well, I accidentally sent a n**... photo of me to everyone in my contacts list

It cost me a small fortune in stamps.

I accidentally sprayed deodorant in my mouth

Now when I talk, I have this weird axe scent

I've accidentally swallowed some Scrabble tiles.

My next vowel movement could spell disaster.

Accidentally swiped my donor card instead of my debit card today...

my groceries ended up costing me an arm and a leg

I accidentally deleted the manuscript of my book '1000 Ways to Cure an Itch'

It looks like I'll have to start from scratch

I accidentally angered two people today by calling them hipsters.

Apparently the correct term is conjoined twins.

I accidentally swallowed some food coloring...

The doctor says I'm ok, but I feel like I'm dyeing inside.

I accidentally deleted an audiobook I was listening to

Now I'll never hear the end of it

I accidentally sprayed deodorant in my mouth today...

Now when I talk I have this weird axe scent.

The #1 cause for accidents in Georgia is deer.

Which is crazy to me since they can't drive.

I accidentally rubbed ketchup in my eyes...

I now have Heinzsight.

I accidentally swallowed a small gold nugget

So I dug through my f**... to find it. My wife walked in and asked me what I was doing. I told her I was just mining my own business.

Accidentally took my cats meds

Don't ask meow

I accidentally dialed a s**... hotline in Saudi Arabia.

The first question they asked was if I knew how to fly a plane.

I accidentally planted the wrong flowers in my garden

Oopsie daisies

I accidentally swallowed some food coloring.

The doctor says I'm fine, but I feel like I've dyed a little inside.

I accidentally had a jar of invisible ink

I'm now at the hospital waiting to be seen

I accidentally sat on a bag of dried fruit the other day

Guess I *have* been on a date this year!

I accidentally put corn starch in my novel..

The plot thickened.

I accidentally gave my wife a glue stick instead of lipstick.

She still isn't talking to me.

What happens when you accidentally pee on a police car?

u**... trouble

I accidentally swallowed some Scrabble tiles

Now I'm experiencing constant vowel movements. My next trip to the bathroom could spell DISASTER.

I accidentally got body spray in my mouth

Now when I talk, I have this weird axe scent.

I accidentally sprayed deodorant in my mouth this morning.

All day I've been speaking with a weird axe scent.

I accidentally splashed pickle juice in my eyes

Now I'm brined.

l accidentally played 'dad' instead of 'dead' when the bear attacked.

Now it can ride a bike without
stabilizers.

I accidentally got anti aging cream on my block of cheddar

I've now got milk all over the kitchen top

I accidentally put diesel in the e**....

She's dead now.

I accidentally drank holy water with my laxatives

I will start a religious movement anytime now

I accidentally said Gazuntite after my crush sneezed.

Now she's staring at the bushes wondering who said that.

I accidentally ate cat food last night.

Don't ask meow.

I accidentally sent my ex-girlfriend flowers over the internet.

Whoops, e-daises.

I've just accidentally let slip to the family that I lied about earning my biology degree.

Me and my big face-hole thingy.

I accidentally sprayed my deodorant into my mouth.

Now I speak with this weird axe scent.

Acci Jokes