The Best 85 Acci Jokes

Following is our collection of Acci jokes which are very funny. There are some acci unintentional jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud. Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these acci unintentionally puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Funny Acci Jokes and Puns

I accidentally took my cats medication today.

Don't ask me'ow I did it

Accidentally fell asleep at my grandmas funeral

Wouldn't you know, I woke up with mourningwood.

I accidently swallowed some scrabble tiles

My next dump could spell disaster

(accidentally invented when heard words out of context) What kind of food did Hitler eat?

Notseafood

How can you tell if you accidentally wandered into a gay bar?

Everyone keeps offering to push your stool in


I almost got into an accident with someone who was texting and driving...

luckily I braked just in time or else I would've spilt my beer.

It was an accident

A father is driving with his young son who is asleep when he bumps the horn, waking his son. The father apologizes, saying it was an accident. The boy tells him he knows it was, to which the father asks how he knew it was an accident. The son replies "well you didn't yell dumbass when you honked"

Accidentally told a joke at work today

Lost a bet and had to grow a mustache.

Co-worker: "Hey booskadoo247, how do you like your mustache?"

booskado247: "It's growing on me."

Accidental Comedian strikes again!

I accidentally locked my keys in my car in front of an abortion clinic...

They gave me the dirtiest look when I went in and asked to borrow a coathanger.

I accidentally gave my girlfriend a glue stick instead of chapstick...

She's still not talking to me :(

I accidentally went to Star Trek convention dressed as Chewbacca...

It was a Wookie mistake

You can explore acci accident reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean acci unintended dad jokes. There are also acci puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


I accidentally went grocery shopping on an empty stomach

and now I'm the proud owner of aisle 4.

I accidentally dropped my girlfriends epilepsy medication in the washing machine...

...now her clothes don't fit anymore

I accidentally rear ended someone at a stop light while not paying attention..

We get out to exchange information, and I notice the guy is a midget. The first thing he says is, "I'm not happy." To which I replied, "Well which one are you then?"

I accidentally flogged another dominatrix's client.

Oops, wrong sub.

I accidentally mixed my coffee my redbull..

After 15 minutes of driving I realised I forgot my car.

I accidentally drank a bottle of ink.

The doctor says I'll be fine, but I feel as though I've dyed inside.

Accidents Happen

Kids in the backseat cause accidents. Accidents in the backseat cause kids!

I accidentally called out my mums name during sex

and my sister hasn't talked to me since.


There was an accident involving 2 cars in mexico

17 people were injured.

I accidentally clicked on a "You've won an iPhone"-popup.

Luckliy it was only a virus.

What do you do if you accidentally cut off your cat's tail?

Take him to WalMart. They are the largest retailer in the world.

I accidentally ran over and killed my neighbor's cat today...

I was too scared to tell him to his face, so I left a note saying "curiosity was here."

I accidentally hit my head on a window today...

It was paneful.

I accidentally called Nike instead of the suicide hotline

They said just do it.

I accidentally swallowed a handful of Scrabble tiles...

My next bowel movement could spell disaster.

I accidentally fell off a 50-foot ladder

but good thing I was only on the 3rd step

Help! I accidentally swallowed a mint!

Never mind, I'm cool now.

I accidentally swallowed a lot of food coloring this morning.

I dyed a little inside.

I accidentally said Hello to a feminist the other day.

The court trial starts tomorrow.

I accidentally dropped my phone from a 20-story building.

It's a good thing I had it on Flight Mode.

Accidentally called 911

Set my house on fire to not look stupid.

I accidentally swallowed a turntable needle.

Good thing nothing major happened good thing nothing major happened good thing nothing major happened good thing nothing major happened

I accidentally walked in on my daughter masturbating

I accidentally walked in on my daughter masturbating with a cucumber and I immediately shut the door.

"Ewe gross, I was going to eat that later, now it's going to taste like a cucumber"

I accidently bought a fleshlight instead of a flashlight.

When the power went out I was screwed.

Accidentally used my wife's electric toothbrush...

I don't remember her eating fish for lunch.

I accidentally ordered a ham and cheddar instead of a turkey and swiss...

Whoops, wrong sub

I accidentally played dad instead of dead when I ran into a bear

Now he can ride a bike and has been through college.

I accidentally left my wallet in my jeans when I put them in the washing machine.

A few days later I got arrested for money laundering.

I accidentally sent my friend flowers over the internet

Whoops, E-Daisies

I accidentally combined Fahrenheit and milliliters

FmL

I accidentally slept with my third cousin.

The first two were better.

I accidentally washed my cameras memory card.

Thankfully it still works but now all my images are watermarked.

Got into an accident today...

...with a little person. He got out of his car and said
"I am NOT happy!."

" well which one are you?"

There was an accident on the highway today.

I tried to help the victims, but there was so much blood that I felt sick and had to leave.
I'm sure they'll be okay until a different ambulance gets there.

I accidentally referred to my wife as my girlfriend today

Their names aren't even that similar

I just accidentally super-glued my thumb & index finger together, and at first started to panic…

But then I remembered that it's always going to be okay.

I got into an accident, but I managed to save myself & a bunch of money on my car insurance by switching..

my car to reverse leaving the scene....

I accidentally drank the water we used to color eggs for Easter.

I think I dyed a little inside.

What did I do when I accidentally landed in Iraq?

Iran

I accidentally ran over my neighbor's cat the other day.

So, immediately, I went and knocked on her door, and I said, "I'm terribly sorry, ma'am; I think I've killed your cat. To make amends for this tragic mistake, I'll replace him if you'd like."

She said, "That's very noble of you, but how are you at catching mice?"

Do you ever just accidentally infuse an extra atom of oxygen into your water?

Fear not, H2O2 is H2O too

After being in an accident that disabled both my legs...

The doctor walked in with the medical bill,

I couldn't stand to look at it.

I accidentally let my cows graze in a patch of marijuana, and if anyone finds out I could lose everything.

The steaks have never been higher.

I accidentally passed my Wife the super-glue instead of her Lipstick..

She hasn't spoken to me for days.

I accidentally typed my symptoms into IMDB instead of WebMD

and found out I have Gary Busey

I accidentally installed a program that keeps showing me a picture of a Chinese politician.

I think it's maoware.

I accidentally joined an organization...

I accidentally joined a pro-secession organization.

When I tried to leave, I was elected as their chairman.

I accidently filled the escort with diesel yesterday.

She died

I accidentally bought a broken Nintendo console

I had to get a Wiifund

I think I might have accidentally angered my doctor during my physical...

He told me, "That does it! The gloves are coming off!"

I accidentally started a worldwide terrorist organization.

I just didn't expect it to blow up so much

I accidentally bought too many art supplies

I'm having an excess stencil crisis.

I accidentally locked my keys inside my car outside of a planned parenthood

Going inside to ask for a hanger was pretty akward.......

I accidentally filled the Escort with diesel.

She died.

I accidentally took my birth control pill twice yesterday

and when I woke up this morning, one of my kids was gone.

I accidentally sprayed deodorant in my mouth...

and now I talk with a strange Axe scent.

I accidentally swallowed a bunch of Scrabble tiles....

My next trip to the bathroom could spell disaster.

I accidentally broke two of my dad's Queen CDs.

Now I want to break three.

I accidentally handed my wife a gluestick instead of her chapstick.

She hasn't talked to me since.

I accidentally mixed up the words 'jacuzzi' and 'yakuza' online.

Now I'm in hot water with the Japanese Mafia.

I just accidentally superglued my thumb and index finger together and at first, I started to panic. But then I remembered...

That it's always going to be okay...

I accidentally sprayed a deodorant in my mouth,

Now I have this weird axe scent.

I accidentally called my wife a 'trophy' the other day...

She shot back, Oh come on, just because you always finish first doesn't mean you win anything!

Well, I accidentally sent a nude photo of me to everyone in my contacts list

It cost me a small fortune in stamps.

I accidentally sprayed deodorant in my mouth

Now when I talk, I have this weird axe scent

I've accidentally swallowed some Scrabble tiles.

My next vowel movement could spell disaster.

There are no accidents...

Master Oogway uttered, before he took one look at me and said

* There are...some accidents *

Accidentally swiped my donor card instead of my debit card today...

my groceries ended up costing me an arm and a leg

I accidentally deleted the manuscript of my book '1000 Ways to Cure an Itch'

It looks like I'll have to start from scratch

I accidentally angered two people today by calling them hipsters.

Apparently the correct term is conjoined twins.

I accidentally swallowed some food coloring...

The doctor says I'm ok, but I feel like I'm dyeing inside.

I accidentally deleted an audiobook I was listening to

Now I'll never hear the end of it

I accidentally filled the escort up with diesel

She died.



Posting my favourite Gary Delaney joke on my cake day.

I accidentally sprayed deodorant in my mouth today...

Now when I talk I have this weird axe scent.

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the acci molar jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working acci accidentally piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes