The Best 46 Acceptable Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Acceptable jokes. There are some acceptable vulgar jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these acceptable apology accepted puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 Funniest Acceptable Jokes and Puns

forever alone

Having alcohol by yourself at home is considered a problem, but social drinking is acceptable.

So now, whenever I open a crate of White Lightning, I always log on to Facebook.

So I was walking through Wal-Mart looking to buy new ornaments for my christmas tree, when I saw an Obama ornament.

Funny, I didn't know it was acceptable to hang a black man from a tree again.

One day a dad gets a call and is told his son has been using dirty language.

When he gets home that night, he sits down with his son.

"Son," he says, "You know this isn't acceptable behavior. Now I want you to tell me all the dirty words you know."

His son says "Well Dad, I know the S word, I know the B word, and I know the M word."

His dad asks "What's the S word?"

His son says "Stupid."

The father is taken aback but pushes on. He asks "OK, what's the B word?"

His son says "Bad."

His father is starting to feel relieved and a faint smile is playing at his lips. With a kind, fatherly smile he asks "And what's the M word?"

His son says "MotherwhoringSpicnigger."

[Original] This is the only time of year...

.... that it's acceptable for middle-aged men to cruise around town looking for Girl Scouts.

'Sex' and 'Love' ....;)

At the retreat, a couple was told to individually write a sentence using the words 'sex' and 'love.'

The woman wrote:
When two mature people are passionately and deeply in love with one another to a high degree and they respect each other very much, just like my hubby and I, it is spiritually and morally acceptable for them to engage in the act physical sex with one another.

The Husband wrote: I Love Sex.


What do you call the facility where they make lower quality, but still acceptable, goods?

The satisfactory.

What's an acceptable absolute zero?

0K.

Acceptable joke, What's an acceptable absolute zero?

The other day someone asked me what the capital of greece was....

My answer of "i dont know, about ten dollars?" was not acceptable.

What's the only acceptable filetype at The Xavier Institute for Higher Learning?

.docx

At what age is it acceptable to tell a highway it's adopted?

A woman asked me how I view lesbianism the other day...

Apparently "in HD" was not an acceptable answer.

You can explore acceptable standards reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean acceptable adequate dad jokes. There are also acceptable puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


I was sat on the beach with my girlfriend the other day.

After a while, I turned to her and said, "If you were to see someone in a bra and knickers at the beach, you would think they are crazy. But somehow it's perfectly acceptable to wear a bikini, which is stupid as it's basically the same thing."

She said, "I don't care. Please, just take them off."

Daughter's Dance Class

Apparently, it's not acceptable to ask a mom if her daughter's dance class has horizontal or vertical brass poles.

What's the only acceptable thing for a Scotsman to wear under his kilt?

Lipstick

I recently Learned that it's politically incorrect to talk about taking part in a school shooting.

Apparently the term 'School photos' is more acceptable.

My Psychology Professor asked me what Super Power I would like to have...

Apparently "Cold War Era Russia" is not an acceptable answer.

Acceptable joke, My Psychology Professor asked me what Super Power I would like to have...

Why Do News Channels love April Fools Day?

Because it's socially acceptable to do what they already do every day of the year.

George's son

George goes to the Birth Registration Office to register his newborn son.

The man behind the counter asks the name he wants to give to
the boy, and the father replies: "Euro."

The man says that such a name is not acceptable, because it's a currency.

Says George: "What? There weren't any objections when I called my first two sons Mark and Frank."

Sean Spicer, United Airlines CEO and Pepsi's PR team walk into a bar...

They're all getting fired, so drinking on a Tuesday is acceptable.


Wedding RSVP

Apparently it's not acceptable to RSVP a wedding invitation with 'sorry, maybe next time'.

I got kicked out of the library today...

Apparently putting the feminism books in the sci-fi section was not acceptable.

Which rapper is the most acceptable to Muslims?

Halal Cool J

My girl asked me what I thought about babies

Apparently "depends on how they're cooked" was not any acceptable answer

When is the only acceptable time to beat up a midget?

When he is standing next to your girlfriend and says your hair smells nice

Joke rules for my house:

First of all, most all jokes are acceptable in this house.. except abortion jokes. Because jokes are all about the delivery...
Absolutely no PMS jokes. Period. No sexual assault jokes.. thats a touchy subject. Dead baby jokes on the other hand.. never get old!

In Texas, going to a chili cook-off is an acceptable alternative to church

Either way you end up sitting in a pew

Acceptable joke, In Texas, going to a chili cook-off is an acceptable alternative to church

I want to start a paranormal hookup app.

The tagline would be: for things that want to go bump in the night.

(Finally a place where ghosting would be totally acceptable.)

I was fired from my position as a data wrangler today

apparently lassoes, whips and cattle-prods aren't acceptable office equipment.

I got kicked out of a retirement home today

Apparently Get down before being put down is not an acceptable name for a dance event.


Jared picked the wrong Subway to be a spokesman for...

If he had just done voiceover for the NYC Subway, hey kids come inside me would've been perfectly acceptable

Utah liquor laws are BS!

Never have I been to a place where it's acceptable to have more wives than drinks!

I got fired from my job as a teacher for sending a student to the office for being tardy

Apparently, it's not acceptable behavior for a special ed teacher

Twitter has banned "foreign spy" as hate speech.

The acceptable term is "undocumented knowledge worker."

I released a flock of birds at my friend's wedding, just like they asked, but now they aren't speaking to me.

How was i supposed to know ostriches weren't an acceptable choice?


I was recently banned from the german club at my local high school

Apparently soap-making isn't an acceptable way to remember the holocaust.

Is it acceptable to take the epidermis from your butt and graft it onto a buddy?

Ass skin for a friend.

Without a mask on, I shopped at a store that had a strict mask policy.

Before leaving, I asked the security guard why he let me shop without a cover and he said that Halloween masks are acceptable too. :\_(

When is it acceptable for a nose to be in a salad?

When it's a snowman's nose!!

My wife asked me who my favourite child is.

I know now that Grogu is not an acceptable response.

Is it acceptable to dip bread into a curry?

Asking for my naan.

New data has claimed that only 52% of students leave school with an acceptable grade in Maths.

Safe to say I am part of the 34% that struggled with it.

I tried to apply for a medical exemption for the COVID vaccine.

Apparently being a republican isn't an acceptable medical condition.

I am banned from my church livestream

Apparently dunking a pizza crust into a full glass of wine and then chugging it is not acceptable for holy communion.

Why is it acceptable for the leader of a Firing Squad to swear?

Because saying oh shoot can cause problems.

I applied to the local rock quarry...

Apparently getting stoned is not acceptable prior work experience.

Me: I don't want to ever see you anymore! I won't let you hurt me like this again! Abuse is never acceptable!

Trainer: It was one sit-up. You had to do one sit-up.

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the acceptable reasonable jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working acceptable uncommon piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes