The Best 47 Acceptable Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Acceptable jokes. There are some acceptable vulgar jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these acceptable apology accepted puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Acceptable Jokes and Puns

forever alone

Having alcohol by yourself at home is considered a problem, but social drinking is acceptable.

So now, whenever I open a crate of White Lightning, I always log on to Facebook.

So I was walking through Wal-Mart looking to buy new ornaments for my christmas tree, when I saw an Obama ornament.

Funny, I didn't know it was acceptable to hang a black man from a tree again.

[Original] This is the only time of year...

.... that it's acceptable for middle-aged men to cruise around town looking for Girl Scouts.

Acceptable joke, [Original] This is the only time of year...

'Sex' and 'Love' ....;)

At the retreat, a couple was told to individually write a sentence using the words 'sex' and 'love.'

The woman wrote:
When two mature people are passionately and deeply in love with one another to a high degree and they respect each other very much, just like my hubby and I, it is spiritually and morally acceptable for them to engage in the act physical sex with one another.

The Husband wrote: I Love Sex.

What do you call the facility where they make lower quality, but still acceptable, goods?

The satisfactory.

What's an acceptable absolute zero?


So it's perfectly acceptable to dress up as a slutty cat on Halloween...

...but do it any other time of the year and suddenly you're that creepy guy at church?

Acceptable joke, So it's perfectly acceptable to dress up as a slutty cat on Halloween...

The other day someone asked me what the capital of greece was....

My answer of "i dont know, about ten dollars?" was not acceptable.

What's the only acceptable filetype at The Xavier Institute for Higher Learning?


At what age is it acceptable to tell a highway it's adopted?

A woman asked me how I view lesbianism the other day...

Apparently "in HD" was not an acceptable answer.

You can explore acceptable standards reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean acceptable adequate dad jokes. There are also acceptable puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.

Some of you may be dismayed by Ted Cruz's recent annoucements

But please remember that "pulling out" is the only acceptable way for a Christian to terminate a presidency

NSFW I got rejected from a job interview.

Apparently, when asked an example you worked well in a team, "gangbag" is not an acceptable answer.

I was sat on the beach with my girlfriend the other day.

After a while, I turned to her and said, "If you were to see someone in a bra and knickers at the beach, you would think they are crazy. But somehow it's perfectly acceptable to wear a bikini, which is stupid as it's basically the same thing."

She said, "I don't care. Please, just take them off."

Mum got mad when she asked me to roast a chicken for tea

Apparently "Yo mumma so fat they call her chicken *BIG*" wasn't an acceptable response.

What's the most morally acceptable herb?

A tarragon of virtue.

Acceptable joke, What's the most morally acceptable herb?

Daughter's Dance Class

Apparently, it's not acceptable to ask a mom if her daughter's dance class has horizontal or vertical brass poles.

What's the only acceptable thing for a Scotsman to wear under his kilt?


I recently Learned that it's politically incorrect to talk about taking part in a school shooting.

Apparently the term 'School photos' is more acceptable.

My Psychology Professor asked me what Super Power I would like to have...

Apparently "Cold War Era Russia" is not an acceptable answer.

Why Do News Channels love April Fools Day?

Because it's socially acceptable to do what they already do every day of the year.

George's son

George goes to the Birth Registration Office to register his newborn son.

The man behind the counter asks the name he wants to give to
the boy, and the father replies: "Euro."

The man says that such a name is not acceptable, because it's a currency.

Says George: "What? There weren't any objections when I called my first two sons Mark and Frank."

Sean Spicer, United Airlines CEO and Pepsi's PR team walk into a bar...

They're all getting fired, so drinking on a Tuesday is acceptable.

Wedding RSVP

Apparently it's not acceptable to RSVP a wedding invitation with 'sorry, maybe next time'.

I got kicked out of the library today...

Apparently putting the feminism books in the sci-fi section was not acceptable.

Which rapper is the most acceptable to Muslims?

Halal Cool J

My girl asked me what I thought about babies

Apparently "depends on how they're cooked" was not any acceptable answer

What do you call a socially acceptable Indian bread?


When is the only acceptable time to beat up a midget?

When he is standing next to your girlfriend and says your hair smells nice

Joke rules for my house:

First of all, most all jokes are acceptable in this house.. except abortion jokes. Because jokes are all about the delivery...
Absolutely no PMS jokes. Period. No sexual assault jokes.. thats a touchy subject. Dead baby jokes on the other hand.. never get old!

I want to start a paranormal hookup app.

The tagline would be: for things that want to go bump in the night.

(Finally a place where ghosting would be totally acceptable.)

I was fired from my position as a data wrangler today

apparently lassoes, whips and cattle-prods aren't acceptable office equipment.

I got kicked out of a retirement home today

Apparently Get down before being put down is not an acceptable name for a dance event.

Told my dad I wanted to get into cars

Apparently, stealing cars isn't an acceptable hobby.

Jared picked the wrong Subway to be a spokesman for...

If he had just done voiceover for the NYC Subway, hey kids come inside me would've been perfectly acceptable

Utah liquor laws are BS!

Never have I been to a place where it's acceptable to have more wives than drinks!

I got fired from my job as a teacher for sending a student to the office for being tardy

Apparently, it's not acceptable behavior for a special ed teacher

Twitter has banned "foreign spy" as hate speech.

The acceptable term is "undocumented knowledge worker."

I released a flock of birds at my friend's wedding, just like they asked, but now they aren't speaking to me.

How was i supposed to know ostriches weren't an acceptable choice?

What grades are acceptable for White Supremacists?


My cousin told me that she was pregnant, and i was the father.

I responded unusual boast, but acceptable

You better not be gay.

Is only socially acceptable to say to an endangered Siberian Tiger.

I failed my physics exam today.

They asked me to give examples of superconductors. Apparently 'The French Resistance' was not an acceptable answer.

I was recently banned from the german club at my local high school

Apparently soap-making isn't an acceptable way to remember the holocaust.

Is it acceptable to take the epidermis from your butt and graft it onto a buddy?

Ass skin for a friend.

Without a mask on, I shopped at a store that had a strict mask policy.

Before leaving, I asked the security guard why he let me shop without a cover and he said that Halloween masks are acceptable too. :\_(

When is it acceptable for a nose to be in a salad?

When it's a snowman's nose!!

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the acceptable reasonable jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working acceptable uncommon piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes