Acceptable Jokes

Funniest Acceptable Short Jokes

Short acceptable jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The acceptable humour may include short pleasant jokes also.

1. Bad news: a message in German sent 110 years ago by homing pigeon was just found. Worse news: it was an acceptance letter to art school.
2. When receiving payment in gold coins, pirates used to verify their purity by biting into them In other word, criminals only accepting payment in bit coins goes long way back
3. Why will the American people never convert to the metric system? Because they'll never accept a foreign ruler.
4. You're offered $50,000, but if you accept it the person you hate the most in the entire world will get $100,000. You taking it? Yes why wouldn't I want $150,000.
5. I got kicked out of the library today... Apparently putting the feminism books in the sci-fi section was not acceptable.
6. When I give a lecture, I accept that people look at their watches, but what I do not tolerate is when they look at it and raise it to their ear to find out if it stopped.
7. What does my Grandma and a Modern website have in common? Making me Accept the Cookies on every visit.
8. Why don't midgets ever get accepted into nudist colonies? They keep sticking their noses into everyone else's business.
9. When bill gates donates 30% of his net worth He is praised as a generous hero, But when I do it people tell me they don't accept donations under a dollar.
10. So I recently came into a large sum of money... ...and then the cashier wouldn't accept it.

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Acceptable One Liners

Which acceptable one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with acceptable? I can suggest the ones about compatible and approve.

1. Denial, anger, Bargaining, Depression, Acceptance Saturday, Sunday
2. I couldn't accept that I was both gay and dyslexic I was in Daniel
3. When Chuck Norris updates Windows ...Microsoft accepts his terms and conditions
4. Why was Santa hacked? Because he accepts all the cookies.
5. The fat acceptance movement is the only movement... without any movement
6. I recently came into a large sum of money. Now it's all sticky and no one will accept it.
7. Is it acceptable to dip bread into a curry? Asking for my naan.
8. Why did the vet turn away the injured sea animal? Do not accept if seal is broken.
9. Which branch of the military accepts toddlers? The infantry.
10. What country does not accept cash or credit cards? The Czech Republic
11. What is the biggest lie in the Universe I have read and accepted the terms and conditions
12. I accept that my son is only average at school... ...he means well.
13. I wish our Congress was made up of vending machines So they would accept change
14. I knew the psychic was a fraud the second she accepted my check
15. I just accepted a senior management position on the old MacDonald farm I'm the CIEIO

Work Acceptable Jokes

Here is a list of funny work acceptable jokes and even better work acceptable puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• The wife told her husband "look at your neighbour everyday he kisses his wife before going to work, why don't you do the same ?", he says " I would, but would she accept ?"
• I was at work the other day and after telling a customer what he owed, he handed me a bag of Tyson wings and drummettes. I said to him, "Sorry, we don't accept chicken tenders."
• Someone told me that my neighbor how works for the highways department was a kleptomaniac which was hard to accept. But when I looked over his back fence, All the signs where there.
• We need to look at how the world really works, not just accept the way we are told it works.
• I applied to the local rock quarry... Apparently getting s**... is not acceptable prior work experience.

Socially Acceptable Jokes

Here is a list of funny socially acceptable jokes and even better socially acceptable puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• forever alone Having alcohol by yourself at home is considered a problem, but social drinking is acceptable.
  So now, whenever I open a crate of White Lightning, I always log on to Facebook.
• Why Do News Channels love April Fools Day? Because it's socially acceptable to do what they already do every day of the year.
• What do you call a socially acceptable Indian bread? Naan-conforming
• You better not be gay. Is only socially acceptable to say to an endangered Siberian Tiger.
• You gotta be careful on social media these days. I mean, just today I accepted a friend request from Xerox. Turns out it was a scan.
• Apparently, saying "Wow, you've grown since I last saw you" isn't deemed socially acceptable when said to adults.

Delightful Fun Acceptable Jokes for a Roaring Good Time

What funny jokes about acceptable you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean allowed jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make acceptable pranks.