Accent Jokes
134 accent jokes and hilarious accent puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about accent that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
This article covers a wide range of accent related jokes from around the world, including those from Britain, the Philippines, New Zealand, Boston, Geordie, Washington, Brummie, Moroccan, and Houston. So if you're looking for a good laugh, read this article for some great accent-related humour.
Quick Jump To
Funniest Accent Short Jokes
Short accent jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The accent humour may include short aspect jokes also.
- Me and the wife had a few issues in the bedroom last night... That's the last time I use my Sean Connery accent to ask her to sit on my face.
- My girlfriend said I believe in you and it made me happy. But then I realised she had just affected a culturally inappropriate jamaican accent to break the news that she was moving out.
- I watched so many programming tutorial videos in college My inner monologue started developing an Indian accent
- LPT: When calling out of work or school, don't fake congestion, etc... instead try using your best Indian accent. There's a much higher chance they'll believe you're Sikh.
- What's the difference between a Scotsman and a high school jock? One has a strong accent, and the other has a strong Axe scent.
- TIL babies cry in accents I also learned that going around making foreign babies cry is apparently looked down upon
- In memorial of Sean Connery: My favorite knock knock joke. (Say out loud for best effect) Knock knock.
Who's there?
Dish
Dish Who?
(Said in Sean Connery accent) DISH IS SEAN CONNERY LET ME IN! - Did you know that dogs have certain accents based on the countries their from? For example, in Korea, they make a sizzling noise
- A german visits France... and he gets picked for a random check at the customs:
- Name?
- Albert Schmidt.
- Nationalite?
- German.
- Occupation? (In a French accent)
- No no, just visiting. - What is a pirate's favorite letter? [read with a pirate accent when they most likely say, "RRRRR"]
"You'd think it'd be R but 'tis the C they love"
Share These Accent Jokes With Friends
Accent One Liners
Which accent one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with accent? I can suggest the ones about abbreviation and letter.
- If me having a Russian accent means my B's sound like V's... Soviet
- Why do Scotsmen drink so much? To slur their speech enough to do the accent.
- What's the rarest category on Jeopardy? Contestants with southern accents
- *Indian Accent* I would make a your mom joke... but cows are sacred in my country.
- Say "Rise Up Lights" out loud You just said "Razor Blades" in an Australian accent
- TIL Stephen Hawking is British Never realized because of his accent.
- *British accent* What do you get if you cross ab elephant with a rhino? 'Ell if I know!
- Which four words can give you an Irish accent? Whale
oil
beef
hooked. - Russian burglar What does a Russian burglar wear? ( In a Russian accent ) robber boots
- The Australian accent To die is the die, I toip ennen Australian axe ent
- What did the Rabbi from New Zealand say? Hey Bro
(Read in your best Kiwi accent) - What type of accent does a fish have Finnish
- Why does Gru speak with an accent? Because he's Arminion.
- One time I ate a bar of deodorant. Nothing weird happened except I got a weird *accent*.
- -you're so cute. I liked your accent +thank you. It's 2019 1.6 Diesel
British Accent Jokes
Here is a list of funny british accent jokes and even better british accent puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Do you think British people judge others on their accent? I judge people long before they’ve opened their mouths.
- Don't buy Ukrainian boxer shorts... ...Chernobyl fallout.
(*has to be read in a British accent*) - If you say the words 'beer can' in a British accent, it sounds like you're saying 'bacon' in a Jamaican accent.
- Say "beer can" out loud with a British accent. You just said "bacon" with a Jamaican accent.
- Say 'beer can' in a British accent. I just taught you to say 'bacon' in a Jamaican accent.
- Why did the teacher suspend the kid who called her a great artist? He said it in a British accent
- It turns out that I am really good at drawing.. Well,at least the doctor said so,as he spoke in a British accent about how I am artistic..
- The first phrase I tried to read with British accent was equivocal. Try Freefolk.
- I can do a great hard british accent
- Wasn't by British accent great? I thought all British accents were Great British accents
Jamaican Accent Jokes
Here is a list of funny jamaican accent jokes and even better jamaican accent puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- What has a beer belly, but doesn't drink any beer? A bear.
(This works best in a Jamaican accent) - Say "beer can" with an English accent You've just said bacon with a Jamaican accent
- How much wood would a Jamaican mathematician chuck if a Jamaican mathematician would chuck wood? Log base tree often
(Jamaican accent: log base 3 of 10) - How can you tell if someone has a Jamaican accent? They roll their J's.
- Warning Jamaican Dad Joke. Read with a thick Jamaican accent. I play triangle in a reggae band. I just stand at de back an ting.
- If Rick Ross was Jamaican his slogan would be Bumbuh Rawss (Say it in a Jamaican accent)
Indian Accent Jokes
Here is a list of funny indian accent jokes and even better indian accent puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- [Read in Indian accent] Don't you hate it when women get older and... their BOBS SAGETS?
- What do Arnold Schwarzenegger and Indians have in common? They are both known by their accents.
Hilarious Accent Jokes to Make Your Friends Roar with Laughter
What funny jokes about accent you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean signature jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make accent pranks.
I held the door open for an old japanese man, and he said "Sank you!"
Being able to understand his heavy accent, I replied "You're welcome."
He laughs and says "No, you misunderstand, I am taunting you about Pearl Harbor."
I asked my wife to fake an accent from a developed country tonight...
to fullfill my fantasy that we have healthcare.
Sven and Ole joke (do your best Swedish accent when reading their lines)
Sven and Ole both lost their jobs when the clothing manufacturer they worked at closed. At the unemployment office, Sven was asked what position he held at the factory, he replied Ya, well I sew women's underpants. He was told to go to the next line to claim his unemployment check.
Ole was asked the same question, to which he replied Diesel fitter. He too was told to go to the next line to get his unemployment check.
After Sven and Ole collected their checks, they compared them outside. Ole's check was twice as much, which made Sven furious. He stormed back inside and asked to talk with a manager. He demanded to know why his check was half of what Ole's was. The manager told him, Well, you were a tailor, your friend Ole has a specialty in engine repair.
Sven's anger was boiling over. He loudly told them, WHAT DO YOU MEAN? I sew the underpants and put them in a pile, Ole holds them up and says Ya, diesel fitter. What has that got to do with engines?
German 1970's joke
What's the difference between the east-german and the west-german accent? While the former is shared by most, the latter is richer.
What do you call a very nosy spice?
Jalapeño Business
You need to say this in a pretty thick Hispanic accent for it to work. I heard it from some classmates.
...And that's the last thing I remember
So I was at the bar the other day, and I heard these two kind of hefty women talking to each other in a funny accent. So I go up to them and say, "Hey are you two ladies from Scotland?" One of them turns to me and says, "Wales you idiot!" I say, "Oh sorry. Are you two whales from Scotland?"
What do you call a Massachusite who cuts down trees?
_In a New England accent..._
A Boston lager.
.
.
.
.
.
I made this up yesterday in the car.
Best Read with a German Accent (Warning: Holocaust Joke)
One day during the war, h**... gathered his top advisers to hold a top secret meeting. He said "Ok, tomorrow ve vill kill 1,000 Jews and three hamsters". His advisors looked at one another, and one said, "But h**..., vhy ze three hamsters". h**... smiled at his advisers and replied, "You see, no one cares about ze jews!"
Having a chemistry teacher with a heavy Chinese accent is okay until...
Having a chemistry teacher with a heavy Chinese accent is okay until he tries to explain the difference between molarity and molality...
At a small London pub,
3 girls are chatting. An Englishman hears them and notices their distinctive accent that he so easily recognizes. He approaches then smoothly and asks: "are you girls from Scotland?"
In a condescending tone, one of them turns around and says: "It's Wales, idiot!"
"Oh I'm sorry, are you whales from Scotland?"
So there were two larger girls at the bar...
I went to the bar and overheard two heavy girls talking with an odd accent.
I asked them, 'Are you two ladies from Scotland?'
One turned to me and said, 'It's Wales, you idiot!'
'Oh, I'm sorry. Are you two whales from Scotland?'
A teacher asks her class
to use the word "contagious". Roland, the teacher's pet, gets up and says, "Last year I got the measles and my mum said it was contagious."
"Well done, Roland," says the teacher.
"Can anyone else try?"
Katie, a sweet little girl with pigtails, says, "My grandma says there's a bug going round, and it's contagious."
"Well done, Katie," says the teacher. "Anyone else?"
Little Irish Sean jumps up and says in a broad Dublin accent, "Our next door neighbour is painting his house with a two inch brush, and my dad says it will take the contagious."
German spies
During the war, two German spies were sent to London to gather valuable intel. To immerse themselves in the local culture they walk into a local pub and walk up to the bar. The first German says to the barman in an impeccable English accent
"May I have two Martinis please?"
"Dry?" asked the barman.
The German replied, holding up two fingers.
"Nein! Zwei!"
i enjoy Sean Connery's accent as much as the next guy...
but im never going to say "sit on my face" to my girlfriend while having s**... again.
An elderly Japanese man...
An elderly Japanese man was walking behind me as I was entering a store. Since he was older and walked with a cane, I held the door for him. As he walked pasted he said, "Sank you" with his accent. So I punched him in the face and said, "How dare you bring up Pearl Harbor like that!"
2 Big Old Gals Were Sitting In A Bar
A man heard them talking and noticed a foreign accent. He asked "are you ladies from Ireland?"
"WALES!!" they both replied
"Oh I'm so sorry!.... Are you two Whales from Ireland???"
So a tourist walks into an English pub...
A tourist walks into an English pub. While he is waiting for his beer, he notices to rather big women next to him talk in a strange accent. He walks up to them and says:
"Excuse me, I can't quite put my finger on your accent -- are you two ladies from Ireland?"
They get outraged and snap back:
"It's Wales, you idiot!"
"Oh, I'm sorry. Are you two whales from Ireland?"
A Mexican Joke
A Mexican man finds a much needed job and asks the owner to hire him. The owner says he'll hire him ONLY if he can come up with a sentence using 3 words of his choice. The words are Green, Pink and Yellow. So the Mexican thinks for a second then replies (read in a Spanish accent) the phone goes Green Green, so I Pink it up and say Yellow?
Jajaja
Kosher Deli
A man walks into a Kosher Deli in New York City and steps up to the counter.
"I would like zee bagel und lox please." He says in a heavy German accent.
The man pays, sits down with his food, and is clearly enjoying it. When he's done he walks up to the counter again and says, "Zat vas amazing. I can't get food like zat back home."
The guy behind the counter looks at him disapprovingly and says, "Now whose fault is that?"
A man is sitting in a bar...
When he overhears a couple women talking in a peculiar accent, he approaches the women;
Man: excuse me are you ladies from England?
Woman: Wales you idiot!
Man: sorry are you Whales from England?
An American and an Australian are chatting in a bar.
An American and an Australian are chatting in a bar.
After both ordering their drinks, the Australian asks the American "So what is it that you do for a living?"
"Oh" the American responds. "I help my clients by representing them in court, and also advise them in other legal matters."
In a thick Australian accent, the other man replies "You're a lawyer."
And the American says "No really, it's the truth."
Interesting accents!
3 hefty women walk into a restaurant, and sit down at a table. The server comes to take their drink orders. When they're done ordering he says, "What an interesting accent! Are you broads from Scotland?"
One woman looks at him with surprise and disgust and says, "WALES!"
The bartender says, "Okay, fine. Are you whales from Scotland?"
Why does Irish bean soup have exactly 239 beans in it?
(Irish accent) Because one more and it would be too f**....
Two Englishmen walk into a nearly empty American bar and one orders a pint of Strongbow
The bartender replies, "Oh, you boys must be British."
"You can tell from the order and accent, can you?" responds one of the Englishmen.
The bartender replies, "No, I can tell because you two lined up even though you're the only two at the bar!"
So I'm at a bar, and two very large women with accents are sitting across from me.
I ask, "Cool accent, are you two ladies from Scotland??"
One yells back, "It's WALES you idiot!"
I reply, "Oh, of course. My bad! Are you two whales from Scotland?"
I asked this Asian girl for her number
And she said "s**... s**... s**...! Free s**... tonight!"
I said "wow, oh my god why???"
But then her friend turned to me and said "Sorry, her accent is very strong. She meant 6**...-3629"
A drunk man approaches two overweight women after overhearing their conversation...
and says to them:
"Hey! I recognize that accent! Which part of England are you two lovely women from?"
Annoyed at the man's ignorance, they exclaim: "It's Wales!"
"Oh I'm so sorry! Which part of England are you two lovely *whales* from?"
Grandpa's joke last night.
Two heavy set women are talking by the bar.
The bartender says "You ladies have a lovely accent. Are you from Scotland?" One of them women goes "No, Wales."
The bartender replied "Are you whales from Scotland?"
Then grandpa precedes to explain the joke about them being whales. We were in my younger brothers school for a basketball game and everyone was in earshot.
Girls from England?
A guy walks into a bar and hears two women speaking in a British accent. He asks, "Are you ladies from England?" One says to him "No, it's Wales, you idiot!" So, then the guy says, "Okay, sorry. So, are you two whales from England?"
My buddy has tried to stop speaking in such a deep southern accent
he's going through withdrawls
Sitting in a Bar.
I was sitting in a bar one day and two really large women came in, talking in an interesting accent.
So I said, Cool accent, are you two ladies from Ireland?
One of them snarled at me, It's Wales, dumbo!
So I corrected myself, Oh, right, so are you two whales from Ireland?
That's about as far as I remember.
Recycling is important...
I went to the bar last night. I saw two rather large ladies having a great time. They seemed to be speaking in an Irish accent. I sauntered over and asked them
"Are you ladies from Ireland?"
They responded, "It's Wales, you idiot!"
I apologized immediately and said
"Are you whales from Ireland?" I don't remember much after that.
I woke up as a marine biologist!
From the South, but Not Southern
People: You're from the south? But you don't have an accent.
Me: I know, my parents put me in school.
A Russian alcoholic loses the key to car...
His wife wakes him from his drunken slumber.
"Where are the keys to the car!?" she demands.
"v**...? Whiskey?" he replies.
(read with Russian accent)
Today I asked a man with an accent where he was from.. he said he's from his mother's p****...
.. to which I replied "I've been there."
An Englishman walks into a bar...
He sees three fat ladies ordering drinks at the counter and hears a thick accent.
"Excuse me, are you three ladies from Scotland?"
They all scream back in unison, "WALES, YOU IDIOT!!"
"Oh, sorry. Are you three whales from Scotland?"
Alabama college kid visiting Boston
So this Alabama Crimson Tide football player is visiting Boston. He's at a party and sees this pretty blonde girl, want to chat her up.
Goes over and says "What college does you go to?" She's not impressed by his down south accent and general rural hick ways, so she says "Yale." and looks away.
He lean over to her ear and says "WHAT COLLEGE DOES YOU GO TO?"
A man was sitting in a bar...
A man was sitting in a bar when he noticed two ladies speaking in an English accent across from him. He went to them and asked:
"Are you ladies from England?"
The ladies said "It's wales you idiot"
The man goes "Sorry. Are you two whales from England?"
There were two moose who were flying. Then it said one:
"You have a bun in your eye!"
"What?" Answered the other.
"You have a bun in the eye!"
"What?"
"You have a bun in your eye."
"Well, I do not hear because I have a bun in my eye."
A businesswoman from Connecticut has a meeting in Alabama.
Her meeting done, she stops at a local bar for a quick drink.
Her bartender, noting her northern accent, says "Yew shore talk purty. Whar did you go to school?"
She smiles and says, "Yale."
He says, "YEW SHORE TALK PURTY. WHAR DID YOU GO TO SCHOOL?"
A man comes across some rather large women...
He overhears them speaking with an interesting accent:
Man: "Excuse me, are you ladies from Scotland?"
Ladies: "No, Wales."
Man: "Oh, I'm sorry, are you whales from Scotland?"
A foreign man walks into a bar...
He sees a group of hot women, and asks them, "Where are you from?" in a thick accent.
Somewhat annoyed, they reply, "Go away, we're l**...!"
Determined to get one of them, he says, "but I'm from Lesbia too!"
Two fat ladies walk into a bar
They order drinks, in a thick accent.
"You two ladies from Ireland?" asks the bartender.
Offended, one of them replies "Wales!"
"Oh I'm so sorry," says the bartender, "Are you two whales from Ireland?"
A man walks down the street with a large pole on his shoulder
A person across the street asks:
"Are you a pole vaulter"
(With a strong German accent): "No, I'm a German but how did you know my name is Walter?"
A Scottish guy announced to his mate that he was getting married...
I'll write this down phonetically, so use your best Scottish accent:
"Ahm gettin married next week."
"Are ye wearin a kilt?"
"Aye, ahm weerin a kilt."
"Wha's the tartin?"
"She's in a w**... dress."
Two germans visit France in the early 50s
Two germans are visiting Paris in the early 50s. They want to order drinks, but they don't want to be thought of as germans, since it's post-WW2. So they practice their english accent for their order. Once it's ready, they go at the bar.
"Hello barman, may we have two martinis ?" asked one of the german.
"Dry ?" asked the barman.
"NEIN, ZWEI !"
If a teacup holds tea and a coffee cup holds coffee then what does a peecup hold?
Three Mexicans, a lawn mower, two leaf blowers and a half dozen rakes will fit in a peecup (pickup with Spanish accent).
My dad who has a really thick Asian accent just asked me..
Did you see the white *super racist* riot in Virginia? He was trying to say **supremacist**. Honestly, he wasn't wrong tho.
A black guy walks into a bar
and asks for a drink.
Bartender: I like your accent, where are you from?
Guy: I'm Liberian!
Bartender:
^^^*Oh* ^^^*sorry.* ^^^*I* ^^^*like* ^^^*your* ^^^*accent* ^^^*where* ^^^*are* ^^^*you* ^^^*from?*
A man walks into a bar...
...and sees two obese women having a conversation. He walks up to them and notices they have an accent. He says, "hello ladies, I like your accent is it from Scotland?" One of the women replies, "It's Wales you idiot." The man says to the women, " I'm sorry, hello whales, is your accent from Scotland?"
What is a pirates favourite letter?
You: What is a pirates favourite letter?
They say: R!
You *In a pirate accent*: A HA! You may think it be the R but me true love lies with the C!
A English businessman was rushing through an airport when
A English businessman was rushing through an airport when all of a sudden, he bumps into a tiny Asian women.
She immediately says, "I'm sorry!" in a Chinese-english accent.
In a hurry, the businessman says, "I'm sorry too."
She responds with, "I'm sorry three!" in broken english.
Confused, the businessman stops and says, "What are you sorry for?"
She yells, "I'm sorry five!!!"
A cabby picked up 3 rather large women and was taking them downtown. As they were talking he thought he detected a Scottish accent. he asked "Are you three ladies from Scotland?"
They looked at each other silently, then one of the sneered at him and said "It's Wales, you idiot."
"Oh, excuse me. Are you three whales from Scotland?"
Whenever I get into my friend's car, I find him difficult to understand.
He starts speaking in a Hyundai Accent.
Nice accent, where are you from?
I'm Liberian
Sorry (whispers) Nice accent, where are you from?
A man with a disorder that makes him urinate randomly is talking to another man with an Italian accent.
He is confused by his accent and asks what nationality he is. The Italian man replies, European!
First rule of Fast Food management:
Always put the employee with the worst accent on the drive-through.
I was at the bar the other night and overheard three women talking in what sounded like Scottish accent. So I approached and asked, "Hello, are you three ladies from Scotland? One of them turned red when she heard me and said, "It's Wales you fool! So I apologized and replied,
"I do apologise, Are you three whales from Scotland?"
cr
An scotsman went to norway for vacation
He was going in a taxi , when suddenly a moose crossed in front of them
Scotsman: What was that?
Driver: It was a moose
Scotsman(in heavy accent): Take me back to the airport right now. If the mouse are this big then I don't wanna even see the rats.
How to master Australian accent in seconds
Say "Rise Up Lights" out loud. *You just said razor blades in Australian accent.*
Don't stop there.
Say "Beer Can" with an English accent. *You just said Bacon in Jamaican accent.*
Mastered.
Australian Olympic hurdler sees another athlete at the track carrying a long stick and asks him, 'are you a pole vaulter?'
He replies (in an accent) 'No,
actually I'm from Germany
and how did you know my name was Walter?'
Accent humour, mate!
It's the year 2022, WWIII has started. 1st world countries vs 2nd world countries and Middle East. Britain asks for reinforcement from Australia. The Australian regiment arrives and next morning starts preparing while the British Commander enters and starts increasing the army's morale:
British Commander: Did you came here *to die*?
Australian Soldier: No sir, we came here *yester-die*.
A man goes to the doctor....
He says, "I don't know what's happening: I've grown a hairy chest, sideburns and I'm started talking in a Welsh accent.
"Ah", said the doctor, "I think you have Tom Jones sydrome".
"I've never heard of that", says the man, "is it very common?"
The doctor says, "It's not unusual."
The other night I overheard three very hefty women talking
Their accent appeared to be Scottish, so I approached them and asked: "Hello, are you three lassies from Scotland?"
One of them angrily screeched: "It's Wales, Wales you b**... idiot!"
So I apologized and replied: "I am so sorry. Are you three whales from Scotland?"
And that's the last thing I remember.
A nurse at the hospital asked me if I remembered what happened to me the night before
I told her I was in a bar when two large ladies came in speaking a strange accent.
Making casual conversation I said Cool accent! Are you two ladies from Ireland?
One of them snarled at me It's Wales, dumbo
So I corrected myself Oh right, so are you two whales from Ireland?
That's as far as I remember.
I got a bit bored on a long highway drive and started scrolling through the various voice choices on my GPS.
There was a USA accent, a French accent and even an Australian accent. Then I noticed "Wife mode". So I selected it, and nothing seemed to happen, until about 10 miles later the GPS said,
"So, if I died, would you get a new GPS?""