Accelerator Jokes

Following is our collection of throttle humor and hadron one-liner funnies working better than reddit jokes. They include Accelerator puns for adults, dirty collider jokes or clean car gags for kids.

There is an abundance of windscreen jokes out there. You're fortunate to read a set of the 12 funniest jokes on accelerator. Full with funny wisecracks it is even funnier than any acceleration witze you can hear about accelerator.

The Best jokes about Accelerator

A police officer stopped my mom's car.

Officer: First name?
Mom: Frida
Officer: Last name?
Mom: Gomam
Officer: So you're Frida Gomam?

And my mom hit the accelerator.

Did you guys hear that the hadron accelerator exploded?

It was mass murder.

Why did the leper crash his car?

He left his foot on the accelerator.

Silly Drunks.

A drunk phoned the police to report that thieves had been in his car.

"They've stolen the dashboard, the steering wheel, the brake pedal, even the accelerator!" he cried out.

However, before the police investigation could start, the phone rang a second time with the same voice on the line.

"Nevermind," he said with a hiccup. "I got in the back seat by mistake."


An elderly Floridian called 911 on her cell phone to report that her car has been broken into. She is hysterical as she explains her situation to the dispatcher: "They've stolen the stereo, the steering wheel, the brake pedal and even the accelerator!
" she cried. The dispatcher said, "Stay calm. An officer is on the way."

A few minutes later, the officer radios in.
"Disregard," he says. She got in the back-seat by mistake."

A husband and wife are stuck in the snow...

the husband tells his wife "The tires aren't getting any traction, take off your shirt and stick it under the right front tire". The wife obliges. The husband pushes down the accelerator and the car doesn't budge. "Take off your pants and put them under the left front tire". Again the wife does this, and again it is no help. He then says "Take off your bra and stick it under the right rear tire and take your underwear off and stick them under the left rear tire". The wife does this and much to her chagrin, it is no help at all. So the husband tells his wife, "We need to get out of the snow, go up to that farmhouse and ask the farmer if he can get us out". The wife exclaims "I am naked and my clothes are ruined". The husband then says "Here take my boots and tuck them up in between your legs and the boot soles will cover your lady business". So the wife does this and awkwardly walks up to the nearby farmhouse. The farmer comes and opens the door and there stands the wife. She looks up at the farmer and exclaims, "MY HUSBAND IS STUCK AND HE CAN'T GET OUT".

All the atoms go to the bar Quantum Accelerator

Why? Because it's a smashing time

Why was the leper caught speeding?

Because he couldn't take his foot off the accelerator.

I heard that CERN particle accelerator can create a huge black hole and destroy the planet.

This make me a little conCERNed.

Eddit. The situation is accelerating if you know what I mean.

I hooked up my accelerator pedal in my car to my brake lights

I hit the gas, people behind me stop, and I'm gone.

Credit to Steven Wright.

What's the difference between a particle accelerator and Donald Trump?

One is a large hadron collider and the other is a small hard-on colluder

What happens to the car if you press the brake and accelerator at the same time?

It takes a screenshot

Use only working piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Note that dirty and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. You can seriously offend people by saying creepy dark humor words to them.

Joko Jokes