Accelerator Jokes
26 accelerator jokes and hilarious accelerator puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about accelerator that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Discover the hilarious side of physics with these funny particle accelerator jokes! Go full speed with the wheel and throttle with laughter while learning more about the science of acceleration. Get ready to rev up your sense of humor!
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Funniest Accelerator Short Jokes
Short accelerator jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The accelerator humour may include short escalator jokes also.
- A police officer stopped my mom's car. Officer: First name?
Mom: Frida
Officer: Last name?
Mom: Gomam
Officer: So you're Frida Gomam?
And my mom hit the accelerator. - Black lives matter. Unless you accelerate them to the velocity of light, then black lives energy.
- Yo momma's so fat that objects 5 meters away accelerate at 1 m/s^2 toward her. What is yo momma's mass if G = 6.67x10^-11Nm^2/kg^2? Please, someone help me, I can't solve it and it's making me nuts.
- What type of objects do not accelerate, regardless of the force applied? Letterhead and envelopes. No matter how hard you try, they remain stationery!
- Two kinds of nerds: May the force be ____________
a. equal to mass times acceleration.
b. with you. - I heard that CERN particle accelerator can create a huge black hole and destroy the planet. This make me a little conCERNed.
Eddit. The situation is accelerating if you know what I mean. - I hooked up my accelerator pedal in my car to my brake lights I hit the gas, people behind me stop, and I'm gone.
Credit to Steven Wright. - What's the difference between a particle accelerator and Donald Trump? One is a large hadron collider and the other is a small hard-on colluder
- Did you know that corks come from trees? Son-"Hey dad, did you know that corks come from trees?
Dad- "No son, Quarks come from particle accelerators" - "You heard about the lady who died riding a roller coaster?" "What? How?"
"Apparently the acceleration was too much for her."
"Gees."
"Exactly."
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Accelerator One Liners
Which accelerator one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with accelerator? I can suggest the ones about speeder and energizer.
- May the force be... ... Equal to Mass times Acceleration.
- All the atoms go to the bar Quantum Accelerator Why? Because it's a smashing time
- What do you call a truck that can't accelerate? A pickup with no pickup
- I'm gonna be honest with you... Particle accelerators give me a hadron.
- Did you hear about the object undergoing centripetal acceleration... It went on a tangent
- What program does accelerate your PC? Excel
- Why does work get scientists mad? Because it's mass times acceleration times distance.
- Ok guys I have a confession.... Particle accelerators give me a hadron....
- What does HONDA stand for? Hold On, Not Done Accelerating.
- Your clothes would look better accelerating towards the floor at 9.8 m/s
- Did you guys hear that the hadron accelerator exploded? It was mass m**....
- Why did the l**... c**... his car? He left his foot on the accelerator.
- Why was the l**... caught speeding? Because he couldn't take his foot off the accelerator.
Particle Accelerator Jokes
Here is a list of funny particle accelerator jokes and even better particle accelerator puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Chuck Norris doesn't need a particle accelerator to collide atoms, he just smashes his fists together.
Heartwarming Accelerator Jokes that Make You Laugh
What funny jokes about accelerator you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean faster speed jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make accelerator pranks.
Blind pilots
A plane is preparing for takeoff with a full load of passengers when the pilot and copilot board--both with dark sunglasses and tapping walking sticks for guidance. The passengers are understandably uncomfortable, but assume it must be some sort of practical joke, so they say nothing.
As the plane begins to accelerate, the passengers see the end of the runway rapidly approaching, with certain doom awaiting at the end if the pilots really can't see what they're doing. Just before the end of the runway, all the passengers scream together--right before the plane lifts off. They're a little upset, but relieved that the pilots aren't really blind.
In the cockpit, the pilot turned to his copilot and remarked: "you know, Lou, one of these days they're not going to scream in time, and then we'll be in real trouble!"
Silly Drunks.
A drunk phoned the police to report that thieves had been in his car.
"They've stolen the dashboard, the steering wheel, the brake pedal, even the accelerator!" he cried out.
However, before the police investigation could start, the phone rang a second time with the same voice on the line.
"Nevermind," he said with a hiccup. "I got in the back seat by mistake."
I took my old computer to a computer repair shop
I asked the shop owner "My computer is too slow. What can I do ?"
Shop owner inspected the computer and said "It needs some hardware acceleration"
Me: How much acceleration would it need ?
Shop owner: 9.8 meter per second squared.
TELL ME THIS WON'T HAPPEN TO ME
An elderly Floridian called 911 on her cell phone to report that her car has been broken into. She is hysterical as she explains her situation to the dispatcher: "They've stolen the stereo, the steering wheel, the brake pedal and even the accelerator!
" she cried. The dispatcher said, "Stay calm. An officer is on the way."
A few minutes later, the officer radios in.
"Disregard," he says. She got in the back-seat by mistake."
