Acceleration Jokes

May the force be...

... Equal to Mass times Acceleration.

I took my old computer to a computer repair shop

I asked the shop owner "My computer is too slow. What can I do ?"

Shop owner inspected the computer and said "It needs some hardware acceleration"

Me: How much acceleration would it need ?

Shop owner: 9.8 meter per second squared.

So a man one day gains the ability to make a car made of coins.

It's acceleration was a quarter faster than a dragster, the frame costed mere pennies, and the interior was full nickel, but people didn't think it made cents.

A news reporter rushes to the man in awe, asking, but does it even have brakes? The man simply looked back and said "Of course. It stops on a dime."

Everything can be reduced to a fart joke ...

Even physics:

We know that everything on earth falls at the same rate of acceleration, 32 feet per second per second. The difference comes down to mass and wind resistance, as shown by a flat piece of paper and one balled up. This means that the determining factor in your total decent is how much wind you break!

Why does work get scientists mad?

Because it's mass times acceleration times distance.

Did you hear about the object undergoing centripetal acceleration...

It went on a tangent

"You heard about the lady who died riding a roller coaster?"

"What? How?"
"Apparently the acceleration was too much for her."
"Gees."
"Exactly."

What's the difference between velocity and acceleration?

What?! You couldn't derrive that on your own?

We have collected gags that can be used as Acceleration pranks to have fun with. If you want to stand out in a crowd with a good sense of humour joking about Acceleration, here are one liners and funny Acceleration pick up lines.

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