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Acceleration Jokes

8 acceleration jokes and hilarious acceleration puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about acceleration that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

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Entertaining Acceleration Jokes to Laugh Out Loud Fun with Everyone

What is a good acceleration joke to make people laugh? Check out this list of funny stories that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth.

A police officer stopped my mom's car.

Officer: First name?
Mom: Frida
Officer: Last name?
Mom: Gomam
Officer: So you're Frida Gomam?
And my mom hit the accelerator.

May the force be...

... Equal to Mass times Acceleration.

Black lives matter.

Unless you accelerate them to the velocity of light, then black lives energy.

Yo momma's so fat that objects 5 meters away accelerate at 1 m/s^2 toward her. What is yo momma's mass if G = 6.67x10^-11Nm^2/kg^2?

Please, someone help me, I can't solve it and it's making me nuts.

Blind pilots

A plane is preparing for takeoff with a full load of passengers when the pilot and copilot board--both with dark sunglasses and tapping walking sticks for guidance. The passengers are understandably uncomfortable, but assume it must be some sort of practical joke, so they say nothing.
As the plane begins to accelerate, the passengers see the end of the runway rapidly approaching, with certain doom awaiting at the end if the pilots really can't see what they're doing. Just before the end of the runway, all the passengers scream together--right before the plane lifts off. They're a little upset, but relieved that the pilots aren't really blind.
In the cockpit, the pilot turned to his copilot and remarked: "you know, Lou, one of these days they're not going to scream in time, and then we'll be in real trouble!"

Did you guys hear that the hadron accelerator exploded?

It was mass m**....

What type of objects do not accelerate, regardless of the force applied?

Letterhead and envelopes. No matter how hard you try, they remain stationery!

Why did the l**... c**... his car?

He left his foot on the accelerator.

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