Accelerated Jokes

A man was driving at 80 kph one day when he was passed by a 3-legged chicken.

He accelerated and passed the chicken. Three minutes later the chicken passed him again as he was driving at 100 kph. The man tried to catch the chicken but it ran down a side road. The man followed it into a farmyard but couldn't find it anywhere. He saw the farmer and told him the story and the man asked for an explanation. The farmer said that he, his wife and his son all liked chicken legs so he bred 3-legged chickens.
"What do they taste like?" asked the man.

"I don't know", replied the farmer, "we haven't caught one yet"

Alahu Akbar

A man, who was on his way to work, was at a stop light when a car full of Muslims pulled up next to him. They started shouting at him saying "Alahu Akbar" and "Death to America". The man is a bit freaked out. When the light turned green the man waited so as to put some distance between himself and the Muslims. The Muslims accelerated quickly into the intersection and were promptly killed by a semi truck that ran the light. The man got to work and had a chance to think about what had happened. "That could have been ME!" he thought. So then and there he quit his job and got a new job as a truck driver.

I measured your Mother's resistance to being accelerated by a force.

The answer was massive.

There are two ways to trigger a nuclear chain reaction: ...

The first involves hitting uranium with accelerated protons. The second is mentioning Hillary and Feminism in one sentence.

My dad just got his first pair of readers.

He's 48. When my uncle said, Welcome to fifty, my dad responded with, First time in my life I'm on the accelerated path.

We have collected gags that can be used as Accelerated pranks to have fun with. If you want to stand out in a crowd with a good sense of humour joking about Accelerated, here are one liners and funny Accelerated pick up lines.

Joko Jokes