Academy Jokes

51 academy jokes and hilarious academy puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about academy that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

This article covers jokes related to the Academy Awards, Naval Academy, Umbrella Academy, Air Force Academy, and Police Academy. Whether a part of a squadron force or squad, explore the humorous side of the academy.

Funniest Academy Short Jokes

Short academy jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The academy humour may include short university jokes also.

  1. What do they tell people who flunk out of astronaut academy? "The sky's the limit for you".
  2. I was discharged from the police academy for refusing to wear anything except Delta hats, Boeing ties, and JetBlue shirts. I just wanted to be a plane-clothes cop.
  3. Why did the Psychic Academy only order large and small T-shirts? Because they already had plenty of mediums.
  4. I found a stash of guns in my academy and reported it to the police Needless to say i was kicked out of the gun academy
  5. Breaking Celebrity News! Academy Award winning Actor, Simmons, and children's book Author, Rowling, eloped earlier today. JK
  6. My friend went to this really prestigious, super expensive prep academy. I mean these kids are so rich they hire hitmen to do their school shootings.
  7. Did you know some dogs don't pass the Police Academy? ...they didn't pass the pawlygraph test.
  8. What's the difference between the Academy Awards and the Paralympics In the Paralympics Blade Runner is an Oscar winning performance
    (I realise this joke is now three years too late)
  9. What would it be called if the Umbrella Academy had another sibling, and then triplets, but one of them was taller than the other 2? 2 number 9's and a number 9 large.
  10. It's a shame "Fantastic Mr. Fox" didn't win the Academy Award for best animated feature. There were too many *Up* votes.

Share These Academy Jokes With Friends

Academy One Liners

Which academy one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with academy? I can suggest the ones about boarding school and cola.

  1. And the Academy Award for Best Sound Editing goes too... A Quiet Place.
  2. An atheist orphan receives an Academy Award. "I have no one to thank, but myself."
  3. Lego are making an Academy Awards set. It's star studded.
  4. Where did the orange go to school? The naval academy.
  5. A barber applied for a scholarship at the barber's academy He didn't make the cut
  6. Where did the belly button go to school? The Navel Academy
  7. Chuck Norris has never won an Academy Award for acting... because he's not acting.
  8. Fight club did not win an Oscar because... ...the academy couldn't talk about it.
  9. *announcing academy award* it's not Leonardo DiCaprio: It's Digiourno
  10. Why can't Darth Vader go back to the Jedi Academy? Cause then he'd be The Master-Vader
  11. Where do people learn how to steal things? Con Academy
  12. What's better than going to Westford Academy? Going to Westford high
  13. I tried to get into the knife sharpening academy I didn't make the cut.
  14. What did h**... say when he got rejected by the Academy of Fine Arts? Mein Crafts!
  15. I'm graduating from the Pirate Academy! I'm majoring in getting the b**....

Academy Award Jokes

Here is a list of funny academy award jokes and even better academy award puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • Did you hear about the man who cut his own head off after the Academy Awards? He was Leonardo DiCapitated.
  • I'm producing a condensed, Cliffnotes-style, version of the 1994 Best Picture winner from the Academy Awards I'm calling it Schindler's Gist.
  • I heard they gave the Academy Award for best picture to the wrong cast. They must have been in La La Land.
  • This High Flying 2009 film from Pixar studios won Best Animated Feature at the 82nd Academy Awards. "What's 'Up', Alex?"
    "Not much, what's up with you?"
  • The Academy Awards have introduced a new category for the upcoming Oscars ceremony. "Best Acting for shocked response to Weinstein revelations" is full of very competitive entries .
  • What is the official ice cream flavor of the Academy Awards? Vanilla, because it's all white.

Police Academy Jokes

Here is a list of funny police academy jokes and even better police academy puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • Why did the dyslexic police academy applicant get shot when he showed up for an interview? He let the Captain know he was an aspiring POC on his cover letter.
  • My girlfriend asked me to choke her and hit her during s**... but it makes me feel guilty. I'm joining the police academy to learn how to a**... and choke someone without being guilty.
Academy joke, My girlfriend asked me to choke her and hit her during s**... but it makes me feel guilty.

Here is a list of funny naval academy jokes and even better naval academy puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • Yo Mama is so dumb she thought a Naval Academy.... ....was a school for belly b**...
Academy joke, Yo Mama is so dumb she thought a Naval Academy....

Giggle-Inducing Academy Jokes for Joyful Times with Friends

What funny jokes about academy you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean academic jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make academy pranks.

A fencing instructor came back to the academy after a well deserved holiday

Only to find that the relief instructor had been teaching his students nothing else but to parry and counter.
Apparently all the sub could do was riposte.

A Mother's Day joke.

A recruit at a police academy is asked some difficult questions when it comes to the job. He is asked,
"If you pulled over your mother, and had to arrest her, what would you do?"
The recruit replies, "I'd call for backup"

I applied to the police academy

The academy head approached me "I am afraid I have to decline your application".
"What's the problem?"
"Your family history. Specifically your mother and father."
"My parents are happily married."
"That's the problem. All cops are b**...."

Plato and Aristotle were in the music room of the Academy in Athens.

Plato was at the piano, and Aristotle was holding a small lute in his hands.
Plato, do you know the unpredictability and exactitude of ethics and reflective philosophical hermeneutics require phronesis as an ontological counterpoint to peripatetic conjecture?
No, Plato replied. But if you play a few bars, I may be able to pick it up.

The s**... b**... instructor

It's 2:00 PM at the s**... bomber's academy. The instructor walks into the classroom to address the students:
"Kids, I know you're just back from lunch, and I know you're feeling a bit tired. But please pay very close attention, cause I'm only going to show you this once..."

Four cops had to take a test...

They were all asked the same question:
"What would you do if a man with a knife was coming at you?"
The Cop from the U.K answered by listing the steps in order what he was taught to do in Police Academy and in the Police Handbook
The Cop from the U.S Answered:
The Cop from Japan answered:
"Disarm the man and arrest him using any form of martial arts that is best suited"
The Cop from Canada answered:
"Please put the knife down."

Academy joke, This High Flying 2009 film from Pixar studios won Best Animated Feature at the 82nd Academy Awards.