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Academic Jokes

34 academic jokes and hilarious academic puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about academic that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Looking for a good laugh? Check out this collection of funny academic jokes told by students, academic advisors, academic deans, and valedictorians. Get ready for some light-hearted fun about academic writing, scholarships, and life as a student.

Funniest Academic Short Jokes

Short academic jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The academic humour may include short exam jokes also.

  1. A disgraced academic, now farmer, surveying the crops... Finally, I am out standing in my field
  2. Why did the academic become a civil war recennactor in his back garden? It allowed him to be revolutionary in his field.
  3. I give frequent lectures about informative and interesting topics underwater. For academic porpoises.
  4. What do you call an academic institute concerning vegetables that only offers their services to mythological creatures? A Unicorn
  5. Educational a capella groups are sweeping the nation. Some are calling it an academic aca-demic.
  6. What do academics and ufc fighters have in common? They both care a lot about submissions.
  7. Which academic discipline is the most racist? Philosophy.
    Philosophers claim there are no paradoxes, thus they are all inherently Zenophobic.
  8. If I could represent my academic experience as a sport... ...it'd be a perfect game of golf.
  9. Why do s**... communists excel in academics? They get high marx
  10. What does an academic call m**...? His seminal work.

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Academic One Liners

Which academic one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with academic? I can suggest the ones about education and college.

  1. What does an academic dwarf call his axes? x and y.
  2. What do you call an academic paper written by a pudding? A dessertation
  3. What do you call an academically successful slice of bread? An honor roll.
  4. Referenced my previous girlfriend in an academic paper It was very ex-citing
  5. What do you call an academic who apologises all the time? An anthropologist
  6. I academically referenced a former partner once. It was exciting.
  7. I have written a couple of academic papers on replacement limbs. They are my prostheses.
  8. Wearing my bra really helps me focus on exams I love academic support.
  9. What is a Camel A horse designed by a comity of academics
  10. Why are sharks academically successful? They always go to a school of fishes
  11. What do you call a vessel full of academics? A scholarship
  12. Why did the sun have such great academic success? Because it was the star pupil
  13. What's the most academic way to get high? By using college-ruled rolling papers
  14. Why are rapists terrible at academics? BECAUSE THEY THINK WITH THE WRONG HEAD!
  15. Why did the Amherst student cross the road? To get academic credit.

Academic joke, Why did the Amherst student cross the road?

Uproarious Academic Jokes to Have a Laugh Out Loud Good Time

What funny jokes about academic you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean cola jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make academic pranks.

Whats you father's occupation?

Asked the school secretary, filling in the forms at the start of the academic year. "He's a magician," said the small boy. "How interesting! What's his favorite trick? "Sawing people in half." "Really? Now, next question. Any brothers or sisters?' "Yes, one half brother and two half-sisters."

Scientists and spiders.

There was a scientist working away in obscurity for years with peculiar experiments on spiders. After years and years he placed an advertisement in several academic journals to let everyone know he and was to host a live show to demonstrate his findings.
At the event hundreds were there more out of curiosity than anything as the details of the findings were kept secret. The man himself wandered on stage and silenced the murmurs.
'Today I will demonstrate two things. The first being that spiders can understand and respond to basic commands.'
The crowd laughed and jeered but undeterred he opened a box on his desk and a spider crawled out.
'Spider, walk left'
The spider moved to its left. The crowd was silenced.
'Spider, move right.'
The spider moved right. The crowd gasped. Forward, backward, the spider responded again and again. The crowd applauded in awe.
The scientist then removed all of the spider's legs. The crowd, confused by this, watched in silence.
'Move left'
The spider didn't move.
'Move right'
Nothing. Forward, backward, no response.
'This is to demonstrate my second finding. Once you remove a spider's legs, it goes deaf.'

A professor dreams that he steps on a rusty nail

After waking up, he puts a bandage on his foot. At work another professor notices the bandage and asks about it. After hearing the explanation he says: "That is exactly the kind of thing why normal folks think academic people are nutty. Why on earth did you go to sleep with bare feet?!"

Father's Occupation

"What's your father's occupation?" asked the school secretary on the first day of the new academic year.
"He's a magician, ma'am" said Little Johnny.
"How interesting. What's his favorite trick?"
"He saws people in half."
"Wow! Now, next question. Any brothers or sisters?"
"One half brother and two half sisters."

Charlie Brown, now a young adult, sits with an academic advisor before enrolling in college....

He tells her he wants to be a counselor, but isn't sure what direction to go.
She looks over his scores as says, "I think you'd make a good grief counselor."

Academic joke, What does an academic call m**...?