Academic Jokes

Looking for a good laugh? Check out this collection of funny academic jokes told by students, academic advisors, academic deans, and valedictorians. Get ready for some light-hearted fun about academic writing, scholarships, and life as a student.

Uproarious Academic Jokes to Have a Laugh Out Loud Good Time

Whats you father's occupation?

Asked the school secretary, filling in the forms at the start of the academic year. "He's a magician," said the small boy. "How interesting! What's his favorite trick? "Sawing people in half." "Really? Now, next question. Any brothers or sisters?' "Yes, one half brother and two half-sisters."

Scientists and spiders.

There was a scientist working away in obscurity for years with peculiar experiments on spiders. After years and years he placed an advertisement in several academic journals to let everyone know he and was to host a live show to demonstrate his findings.

At the event hundreds were there more out of curiosity than anything as the details of the findings were kept secret. The man himself wandered on stage and silenced the murmurs.

'Today I will demonstrate two things. The first being that spiders can understand and respond to basic commands.'

The crowd laughed and jeered but undeterred he opened a box on his desk and a spider crawled out.
'Spider, walk left'

The spider moved to its left. The crowd was silenced.
'Spider, move right.'

The spider moved right. The crowd gasped. Forward, backward, the spider responded again and again. The crowd applauded in awe.

The scientist then removed all of the spider's legs. The crowd, confused by this, watched in silence.
'Move left'

The spider didn't move.
'Move right'

Nothing. Forward, backward, no response.
'This is to demonstrate my second finding. Once you remove a spider's legs, it goes deaf.'

What does an academic dwarf call his axes?

x and y.

A professor dreams that he steps on a rusty nail

After waking up, he puts a bandage on his foot. At work another professor notices the bandage and asks about it. After hearing the explanation he says: "That is exactly the kind of thing why normal folks think academic people are nutty. Why on earth did you go to sleep with bare feet?!"

A disgraced academic, now farmer, surveying the crops...

Finally, I am out standing in my field

What do you call an academic paper written by a pudding?

A dessertation

Father's Occupation

"What's your father's occupation?" asked the school secretary on the first day of the new academic year.

"He's a magician, ma'am" said Little Johnny.

"How interesting. What's his favorite trick?"

"He saws people in half."

"Wow! Now, next question. Any brothers or sisters?"

"One half brother and two half sisters."

Academic joke, Father's Occupation

Charlie Brown, now a young adult, sits with an academic advisor before enrolling in college....

He tells her he wants to be a counselor, but isn't sure what direction to go.

She looks over his scores as says, "I think you'd make a good grief counselor."

Referenced my previous girlfriend in an academic paper

It was very ex-citing

What do you call an academic who apologises all the time?

An anthropologist

I academically referenced a former partner once.

It was exciting.

You can explore academic scholarship reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean academic finalists dad jokes. There are also academic puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.

I have written a couple of academic papers on replacement limbs.

They are my prostheses.

Why did the academic become a civil war recennactor in his back garden?

It allowed him to be revolutionary in his field.

I give frequent lectures about informative and interesting topics underwater.

For academic porpoises.

What do you call an academic institute concerning vegetables that only offers their services to mythological creatures?

A Unicorn

Educational a capella groups are sweeping the nation.

Some are calling it an academic aca-demic.

Academic joke, Educational a capella groups are sweeping the nation.

What does an academic call m**...?

His seminal work.

Wearing my bra really helps me focus on exams

I love academic support.

What do academics and UFC fighters have in common?

They both care a lot about submissions.

Which academic discipline is the most racist?


Philosophers claim there are no paradoxes, thus they are all inherently Zenophobic.

Remember that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes that make girls laugh. Many of the academic social puns are supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When a joke goes too far, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke becomes inappropriate.

We suggest you to use only working academic cambridge piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and make them laugh.

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