Heartwarming Abusive Jokes that Make You Laugh
Lorraine and Clearly
A guy had an abusive girlfriend named Lorraine. Lorraine didn't know her boyfriend was cheating on her with a lovely girl named Clearly. In August Lorraine died. At the funeral, People wondered why the guy wasn't sad,and why he was so happy.
When they asked him why he was so happy at the funeral he sang....
" I can see Clearly now, Lorraine is gone !"
How can you tell my parents are abusive?
Beats me
What do you call an abusive pothead?
A weed whacker.
A woman is in an abusive relationship.
She's talking to her friend one day. Her friend asks, "Why do you stay with him?" She replies, "Beats me!"
When it comes to physically abusive relationships...
They are hit or miss
What do you call a white guy in an abusive relationship?
Whipped cream.
"I've been in 3 emotionally abusive relationships"
Said Dave to his new friend.
"I'm so sorry!"
"Huh. I had them thinking it was their fault as well"
Why is my father so abusive?
Beats me
What is the difference between an abusive relationship and The Chainsmokers ?
Nothing, The hits keep coming
How does the abusive parent dance?
To the beat.
What did the kid say about his abusive parents?
Beats me
You can explore abusive guardian reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean abusive overprotective dad jokes. There are also abusive puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
Why do i stay in an abusive relationship
Beats me!
I'll never forget the Christmas Eve my father went to jail.
It didn't take long before he got violent, abusive, screaming and thrashing around, smearing feces on the walls...
I'll never play Monopoly with him again.
What did the sheep say to her abusive shepherd?
You're herding me.
How I got out of an abusive marriage
I stopped hitting my wife
What brand of Headphones does an abusive father give to his child on his birthday every year
Beats by Dad
A man is verbally abusive to his wife, but
she always keeps her cool.
He asks her "I'm always so abusive to you, how come you're always so calm?"
"I scrub the toilet" his wife replies
"I don't get it?!" He says
"I use your toothbrush"
I've been in an abusive relationship for months now and I can't seem to get out of it. Someone show me what I'm doing wrong.
Everytime I hit her, she keeps coming back.
How do you know when you're in an abusive relationship?
I don't know, beats me.
Any man who has an abusive wife
Any man who has an abusive wife, needs to start practicing marital arts.
What did the abusive mallard say to his duck wife?
Whack, whack, whack, whack, whack.
Just heard my ex just moved in with her boyfriend and he's abusive. Makes me wanna go over there with a baseball bat...
... and then blame it on the boyfriend
Credits ~ Anthony Jeselnik
After all these years, I finally left my abusive relationship. I feel so relieved!
Now that I don't have to beat my girlfriend anymore, I have so much free time.
I just left an abusive relationship...
Even though I beat her she still kept making mistakes!
What do you call an abusive mother hen?
An egg beater
What do you call an abusive vegetable?
Beets me.
What's the difference between a abusive father and a Korean gamer?
Only one will stop beating you
My wife has been seriously verbally abusive throughout our relationship.
I didn't mind so much until doctors found out she had been faking her Tourettes syndrome.
What's the difference between an insult and a traumatized child?
One is used by abrasive people, and the other was also raised by abusive people.
I was in an abusive relationship once.
I got out of it as soon as she called the cops.
Why did the abusive dad's child cry?
Beats me.
Why did the the chemistry teacher and the physics teacher break up?
The chemistry teacher was abusive.
What do you call a abusive father?
Beats Me?
A half man half machine, a princess, an animal like boy and a clown are trying to save their friend from her abusive father who is inside her
Teen titans was a great show
I don't know what an abusive relationship means
beats me
My dad was a magician, but he also was abusive
He liked to turn 12 packs into domestic violence
What do you call a rooster who's abusive to his kids?
An egg beater
What does an abusive father and a ghost have in common?
Booze
I know a joke about an abusive dwarf and his tall wife. A little offensive.
But a real knee slapper.
America should go 4 years with no president after this term ends.
Taking some time to be single after an abusive relationship is really important.
A concerned friend asks a guy why he just endures his marriage with an abusive spouse.
He just shrugged it off and says, "beats me."
You hear the song about the abusive hospital?
It has a sick beat
A woman asks her friend
How do you know if your husband is abusive?
She shrugs and replies.... beats me
So we hated congress a few days ago for not giving us $2000 but today we love then after the riot yesterday...
...so abusive relationships do work
I finally got out of an abusive relationship
I'm glad, my hands were starting to hurt!
^(Source: SrGrafo stream musings)
Why did my abusive father cross the road?
Beats me
Why dont people from abusive families report the violence?
Because first rule of fight club is not to talk about the fight club
Was holding a crab when it started pinching me
My mom told me to let it go. I replied no, this is the least abusive relationship I've ever been in.
Before we started dating, my girlfriend was in an abusive relationship and she'd Never talk about it.
For the entire first year of our relationship, I just thought she hated high fives.
What's the most verbally abusive mushroom?
Shit-talk-ie!
I had a joke about my abusive father...
But he beat me to it
Before my abusive father left, he was really enthusiastic about vacuuming
He would always say "Whenever I look at your face I want you to Dyson"
An electric confession!
A woman is on trial for beating her abusive husband to death with his guitar collection.
The judge asks her "First offender?"
She replies "No, first a Gibson, then a Fender."
I never wanted to believe the rumors about my company's tech department being abusive until I had to have them come fix an issue with my office computer.
And then IT hit me.
Mom, why do you stay with my abusive dad?
Mom: Beats the hell outta me
