Following is our collection of guardian humor and derogatory one-liner funnies working better than reddit jokes. They include Abusive puns for adults, dirty overprotective jokes or clean obscene gags for kids.
There is an abundance of obnoxious jokes out there. You're fortunate to read a set of the 52 funniest jokes on abusive. Full with funny wisecracks it is even funnier than any verbally witze you can hear about abusive.
Taking some time to be single after an abusive relationship is really important.
Beats me
Beats me
Everytime I hit her, she keeps coming back.
I stopped hitting my wife
Now that I don't have to beat my girlfriend anymore, I have so much free time.
"Me and girlfriend..... we're not together anymore. She's got a new boyfriend now. They just moved in together. Actually, I've heard rumors that he's abusive, which kinda makes me want to go over there with a baseball bat...... and then blame it on her boyfriend."
"My girlfriend has the greatest story as to why she isn't religious anymore.
When she was a kid, like 12 years old, her parents nailed a 25 pound crucifix to the wall right above her bed. About two weeks later, in the middle of the night, the crucifix falls off the wall and leaves a two inch gash in the back of her dad's head." - Anthony Jeselnik
It didn't take long before he got violent, abusive, screaming and thrashing around, smearing feces on the walls...
I'll never play Monopoly with him again.
A weed whacker.
She's talking to her friend one day. Her friend asks, "Why do you stay with him?" She replies, "Beats me!"
Only one will stop beating you
Said Dave to his new friend.
"I'm so sorry!"
"Huh. I had them thinking it was their fault as well"
He just shrugged it off and says, "beats me."
You're herding me.
Booze
But a real knee slapper.
An egg beater
Beats me!
beats me
... and then blame it on the boyfriend
Credits ~ Anthony Jeselnik
He liked to turn 12 packs into domestic violence
I don't know, beats me.
The husband has beaten her many times over the course of their marriage. Finally, she decides to get a divorce. Everything goes through as normal, and soon she's on her own again. As she is leaving the courthouse, a stranger stops her, having overheard the proceedings.
"What do you want?" the lady asks him.
"I heard of your problems in marriage... let me give you a little piece of advice. If you decide to remarry, do it with a player from the Cleveland Browns," the stranger says.
"Why?
"Isn't it obvious? The Cleveland Browns don't beat anybody."
Whipped cream.
Beats me
A guy had an abusive girlfriend named Lorraine. Lorraine didn't know her boyfriend was cheating on her with a lovely girl named Clearly. In August Lorraine died. At the funeral, People wondered why the guy wasn't sad,and why he was so happy.
When they asked him why he was so happy at the funeral he sang....
" I can see Clearly now, Lorraine is gone !"
An egg beater
Whack, whack, whack, whack, whack.
she always keeps her cool.
He asks her "I'm always so abusive to you, how come you're always so calm?"
"I scrub the toilet" his wife replies
"I don't get it?!" He says
"I use your toothbrush"
Teen titans was a great show
Beats Me?
Nothing, The hits keep coming
They are hit or miss
To the beat.
Beets me.
Beats me.
The chemistry teacher was abusive.
Beats by Dad
I got out of it as soon as she called the cops.
Any man who has an abusive wife, needs to start practicing marital arts.
Because he was a gluten for punishment.
Even though I beat her she still kept making mistakes!
I didn't mind so much until doctors found out she had been faking her Tourettes syndrome.
One is used by abrasive people, and the other was also raised by abusive people.
Because it's the sun of a beach
To send a message.
They said he was beating his meat on the job :(
Said the Abusive Father.
An abusive teacher
What is lunch?
Baby don't hurt me.
I told him it was a show on Fox about an abusive alcoholic father, but that's hardly relevant.
An Abacuss
Use only working piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Note that dirty and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. You can seriously offend people by saying creepy dark humor words to them.