Absurdly Jokes
34 absurdly jokes and hilarious absurdly puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about absurdly that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Absurdly Short Jokes
Short absurdly jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The absurdly humour may include short jokes also.
- Political correctness has reached the level of absurdity For example, we can't say brown paint. Instead we should say "please paint that wall, Jose"
- My doctor says I'm not eating a balanced diet...that's absurd. I eat as many cookies with my left hand as I do with my right!
- My wife said that I treat her like property ... That's completely absurd. I love it more than anything in the world!
- My friends keep having to replace their EV batteries, which are absurdly expensive. They should not be charging so much.
- Man: "I've always had this absurd feeling that I'm a cartoon character" Psychologist: "That's a rather unusual state... How long have you felt this way?"
Man: "Ever since I was an outline..." - Why were the absurdly dressed chickens escorted from the basketball game? Because two flagrant fouls is an automatic ejection.
- What? The square root of some numbers give us a infinite non-recurring decimal? That's absurd!
- My sister bet me I couldn't make a car out of spaghetti.. She was right. The very premise is absurd.
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Absurdly One Liners
Which absurdly one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with absurdly? I can suggest the ones about and .
- Half my humor is puns, the other half is memes. The third half is absurdity.
- Why are banknote printing machines absurd? Because they make no cents
- What do you call an absurd saxophonist? Reed-iculous
- If the universe were not absurd, would it make sense? squid
- 20 Censored Movie Lines So Absurd They're Borderline Genius
- In politics, absurdity is not a handicap.
- Christmas is pretty absurd... ...at least according to Jean-Paul Santra.
Absurdly Funny Jokes And Hilarious Puns.
What funny jokes about absurdly you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make absurdly pranks.
An old man owns a boat.
He is a rich old bird who made his fortune early in life. he is a bit crazy and for some reason always hires male strippers and keeps absurd amounts of potatoes on his boat. when asked why he said, " I've always wanted to rule a country but i never got too, so i bought my boat and filled it with taters and male strippers." when asked how that helped he replied simply,"It's my dictatorship."
I Was Going To St. Ives, A Poem
I was going to St. Ives,
When I saw a man with Seven Wives.
I know it sounds absurd and looney,
But that poor man was Mickey Rooney!
(R.I.P. Mickey Rooney, 1920-2014)
Letter to a madman
Inside a hospice, a madman approaches the others with a blank paper, examining it with attention. The other crazy people can not resist curiosity and ask:
_ What is it?
The crazy one with the letter, responds
_ A letter from my brother
Even for the other crazy people, that was too absurd.
_ But the letter is blank.
The madman responds serenely
_ We do not talk anymore
A man walks into a butcher shop...
A man walks into a butcher shop and asks if the butcher has any duck meat.
The butcher says of course he does, but can only give it on a special condition.
"You can only get the duck if you stab yourself with a butcher's knife" the butcher tells the man.
The man was confused and Immediately demands an explanation for the absurd rule.
The butcher simply points to a sign located outside his store and it clearly reads
"No Harm No Fowl"
How many existentialists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Two. One to screw it in and one to observe how the lightbulb itself symbolizes a single incandescent beacon of subjective reality in a netherworld of endless absurdity reaching out toward a maudlin cosmos of nothingness.
Q: How many members of a cultural, religious or social outgroup does it take to accomplish a routine task?
A: An arbitrary number: One or more to actually perform the task, and the remainder to behave in an absurd fashion consistent with perceived humorous stereotypes!
A man checks into a hotel for the first time in his life, and goes up to his room.
Five minutes later he calls the desk and say, You've given me a room with no exit. How do I leave?
The desk clerk says, Sir, that's absurd. Have you looked for the door?
The person says, Well, there's one door that leads to the bathroom. There's a second door that goes into the closet. And there's a door I haven't tried, but it has a 'do not disturb' sign on it.
In 1978, a Russian man buys a Lada...
After he signs the last form, the salesman says, "You can expect delivery on 4 February, 1981."
The man replies, "Morning or evening?"
This is not the reaction that the salesman expects. The most common reaction, of course, is resigned disappointment. Anger was a close second. He'd seen some giggle at the absurdity, and some swear they'd be calling influential friends.
But this? The salesman is dumbfounded. "Morning or evening?! What does it matter! It's in over 2 years!"
"Well," says the man, "It's just that the heater repairman is coming that morning."
There was a man named billy, billy worked at a pickle factory. One day billy comes home to his wife and says...
... honey I want to put my pp in the pickle slicer, his wife tells him that's absurd and not to do it and then went to sleep. Billy goes to work the next day and comes home and tells his wife honey I put my pp in the pickle slicer! His wife yelled what happened?! Was it b**...? Did it hurt?! The man tells his wife no, but I got fired and so did she.
Guy goes to a therapist. He says, "Doc, I live in constant fear that I'm a grain of corn and there's a giant chicken out there who wants to eat me."
Doctor says, "That's obviously absurd."
The doctor works with the man over the course of three years to finally convince him that he's not a grain of corn that a giant chicken wants to eat.
Finally cured, the man leaves. He's back the next day. The doctor says, "Why are you back."
The man says, "I know that I'm not a grain of corn that a giant chicken wants to eat....but does the chicken know that?"
A high school senior visits a psychic...
"I've applied to 10 different colleges," the student said. "Which ones will accept me? Which one will I attend?"
"That is hard to say," said the psychic. "But you will spend an absurd sum of money."
"How do you know this?" the student asked.
The psychic replied,
"It's mostly intuition."
A dog owner is relaxing in the park when a man approaches.
—I'm sorry, but my chihuahua just killed your dog.
—That's absurd, my dog is a mastiff. How your ridiculously small chihuahua could possibly kill mine?
—Well, my dog got stuck in your dog's t**... and choke him to death.