Absurd Jokes
21 absurd jokes and hilarious absurd puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about absurd that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Increase your humor level with this collection of the best short absurd jokes that range from the obscure to the bizarre and the unrealistic. Enjoy these absurd jokes and have a good laugh.
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Funniest Absurd Short Jokes
Short absurd jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The absurd humour may include short surreal jokes also.
- Political correctness has reached the level of absurdity For example, we can't say brown paint. Instead we should say "please paint that wall, Jose"
- My doctor says I'm not eating a balanced diet...that's absurd. I eat as many cookies with my left hand as I do with my right!
- My wife said that I treat her like property ... That's completely absurd. I love it more than anything in the world!
- My friends keep having to replace their EV batteries, which are absurdly expensive. They should not be charging so much.
- Man: "I've always had this absurd feeling that I'm a cartoon character" Psychologist: "That's a rather unusual state... How long have you felt this way?"
Man: "Ever since I was an outline..." - Why were the absurdly dressed chickens escorted from the basketball game? Because two flagrant fouls is an automatic ejection.
- What? The square root of some numbers give us a infinite non-recurring decimal? That's absurd!
- My sister bet me I couldn't make a car out of spaghetti.. She was right. The very premise is absurd.
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Absurd One Liners
Which absurd one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with absurd? I can suggest the ones about insane and ridiculous.
- Half my humor is puns, the other half is memes. The third half is absurdity.
- Why are banknote printing machines absurd? Because they make no cents
- What do you call an absurd saxophonist? Reed-iculous
- If the universe were not absurd, would it make sense? squid
- 20 Censored Movie Lines So Absurd They're Borderline Genius
- In politics, absurdity is not a handicap.
- Christmas is pretty absurd... ...at least according to Jean-Paul Santra.
Humorous Absurd Jokes to Bring Fun and Laughter to Your Life
What funny jokes about absurd you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean bizarre jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make absurd pranks.
A high school senior visits a psychic...
"I've applied to 10 different colleges," the student said. "Which ones will accept me? Which one will I attend?"
"That is hard to say," said the psychic. "But you will spend an absurd sum of money."
"How do you know this?" the student asked.
The psychic replied,
"It's mostly intuition."
A man checks into a hotel for the first time in his life, and goes up to his room.
Five minutes later he calls the desk and say, You've given me a room with no exit. How do I leave?
The desk clerk says, Sir, that's absurd. Have you looked for the door?
The person says, Well, there's one door that leads to the bathroom. There's a second door that goes into the closet. And there's a door I haven't tried, but it has a 'do not disturb' sign on it.
Letter to a madman
Inside a hospice, a madman approaches the others with a blank paper, examining it with attention. The other crazy people can not resist curiosity and ask:
_ What is it?
The crazy one with the letter, responds
_ A letter from my brother
Even for the other crazy people, that was too absurd.
_ But the letter is blank.
The madman responds serenely
_ We do not talk anymore
Q: How many members of a cultural, religious or social outgroup does it take to accomplish a routine task?
A: An arbitrary number: One or more to actually perform the task, and the remainder to behave in an absurd fashion consistent with perceived humorous stereotypes!
A dog owner is relaxing in the park when a man approaches.
—I'm sorry, but my chihuahua just killed your dog.
—That's absurd, my dog is a mastiff. How your ridiculously small chihuahua could possibly kill mine?
—Well, my dog got stuck in your dog's t**... and choke him to death.
There was a man named billy, billy worked at a pickle factory. One day billy comes home to his wife and says...
... honey I want to put my pp in the pickle slicer, his wife tells him that's absurd and not to do it and then went to sleep. Billy goes to work the next day and comes home and tells his wife honey I put my pp in the pickle slicer! His wife yelled what happened?! Was it b**...? Did it hurt?! The man tells his wife no, but I got fired and so did she.
A man walks into a butcher shop...
A man walks into a butcher shop and asks if the butcher has any duck meat.
The butcher says of course he does, but can only give it on a special condition.
"You can only get the duck if you stab yourself with a butcher's knife" the butcher tells the man.
The man was confused and Immediately demands an explanation for the absurd rule.
The butcher simply points to a sign located outside his store and it clearly reads
"No Harm No Fowl"
