Absurd Jokes

Following is our collection of unrealistic humor and worthy one-liner funnies working better than reddit jokes. They include Absurd puns for adults, dirty idiotic jokes or clean irrational gags for kids.

There is an abundance of asinine jokes out there. You're fortunate to read a set of the 14 funniest jokes on absurd. Full with funny wisecracks it is even funnier than any loneliest witze you can hear about absurd.

The Best jokes about Absurd

A man checks into a hotel for the first time in his life, and goes up to his room.

Five minutes later he calls the desk and say, You've given me a room with no exit. How do I leave?

The desk clerk says, Sir, that's absurd. Have you looked for the door?

The person says, Well, there's one door that leads to the bathroom. There's a second door that goes into the closet. And there's a door I haven't tried, but it has a 'do not disturb' sign on it.

My doctor says I'm not eating a balanced diet...that's absurd.

I eat as many cookies with my left hand as I do with my right!

My wife said that I treat her like property ... That's completely absurd.

I love it more than anything in the world!

Why are banknote printing machines absurd?

Because they make no cents

Letter to a madman

Inside a hospice, a madman approaches the others with a blank paper, examining it with attention. The other crazy people can not resist curiosity and ask:

_ What is it?

The crazy one with the letter, responds

_ A letter from my brother

Even for the other crazy people, that was too absurd.

_ But the letter is blank.

The madman responds serenely

_ We do not talk anymore


Q: How many members of a cultural, religious or social outgroup does it take to accomplish a routine task?

A: An arbitrary number: One or more to actually perform the task, and the remainder to behave in an absurd fashion consistent with perceived humorous stereotypes!

Man: "I've always had this absurd feeling that I'm a cartoon character"

Psychologist: "That's a rather unusual state... How long have you felt this way?"

Man: "Ever since I was an outline..."

A man walks into a butcher shop...

A man walks into a butcher shop and asks if the butcher has any duck meat.

The butcher says of course he does, but can only give it on a special condition.

"You can only get the duck if you stab yourself with a butcher's knife" the butcher tells the man.

The man was confused and Immediately demands an explanation for the absurd rule.

The butcher simply points to a sign located outside his store and it clearly reads

"No Harm No Fowl"

There was a man named billy, billy worked at a pickle factory. One day billy comes home to his wife and says...

... honey I want to put my pp in the pickle slicer, his wife tells him that's absurd and not to do it and then went to sleep. Billy goes to work the next day and comes home and tells his wife honey I put my pp in the pickle slicer! His wife yelled what happened?! Was it bloody? Did it hurt?! The man tells his wife no, but I got fired and so did she.

Why were the absurdly dressed chickens escorted from the basketball game?

Because two flagrant fouls is an automatic ejection.

What? The square root of some numbers give us a infinite non-recurring decimal?

That's absurd!


I Was Going To St. Ives, A Poem

I was going to St. Ives,

When I saw a man with Seven Wives.

I know it sounds absurd and looney,

But that poor man was Mickey Rooney!

(R.I.P. Mickey Rooney, 1920-2014)

What do you call an absurd saxophonist?

Reed-iculous

An old man owns a boat.

He is a rich old bird who made his fortune early in life. he is a bit crazy and for some reason always hires male strippers and keeps absurd amounts of potatoes on his boat. when asked why he said, " I've always wanted to rule a country but i never got too, so i bought my boat and filled it with taters and male strippers." when asked how that helped he replied simply,"It's my dictatorship."

Use only working piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Note that dirty and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. You can seriously offend people by saying creepy dark humor words to them.

Joko Jokes