Absurd Jokes

Increase your humor level with this collection of the best short absurd jokes that range from the obscure to the bizarre and the unrealistic. Enjoy these absurd jokes and have a good laugh.

Humorous Absurd Jokes to Bring Fun and Laughter to Your Life

A high school senior visits a psychic...

"I've applied to 10 different colleges," the student said. "Which ones will accept me? Which one will I attend?"

"That is hard to say," said the psychic. "But you will spend an absurd sum of money."

"How do you know this?" the student asked.

The psychic replied,

"It's mostly intuition."

A man checks into a hotel for the first time in his life, and goes up to his room.

Five minutes later he calls the desk and say, You've given me a room with no exit. How do I leave?

The desk clerk says, Sir, that's absurd. Have you looked for the door?

The person says, Well, there's one door that leads to the bathroom. There's a second door that goes into the closet. And there's a door I haven't tried, but it has a 'do not disturb' sign on it.

Letter to a madman

Inside a hospice, a madman approaches the others with a blank paper, examining it with attention. The other crazy people can not resist curiosity and ask:

_ What is it?

The crazy one with the letter, responds

_ A letter from my brother

Even for the other crazy people, that was too absurd.

_ But the letter is blank.

The madman responds serenely

_ We do not talk anymore

My doctor says I'm not eating a balanced diet...that's absurd.

I eat as many cookies with my left hand as I do with my right!

My wife said that I treat her like property ... That's completely absurd.

I love it more than anything in the world!

Why are banknote printing machines absurd?

Because they make no cents

Q: How many members of a cultural, religious or social outgroup does it take to accomplish a routine task?

A: An arbitrary number: One or more to actually perform the task, and the remainder to behave in an absurd fashion consistent with perceived humorous stereotypes!

Absurd joke, Q: How many members of a cultural, religious or social outgroup does it take to accomplish a routine

A dog owner is relaxing in the park when a man approaches.

β€”I'm sorry, but my chihuahua just killed your dog.

β€”That's absurd, my dog is a mastiff. How your ridiculously small chihuahua could possibly kill mine?

β€”Well, my dog got stuck in your dog's throat and choke him to death.

Man: "I've always had this absurd feeling that I'm a cartoon character"

Psychologist: "That's a rather unusual state... How long have you felt this way?"

Man: "Ever since I was an outline..."

There was a man named billy, billy worked at a pickle factory. One day billy comes home to his wife and says...

... honey I want to put my pp in the pickle slicer, his wife tells him that's absurd and not to do it and then went to sleep. Billy goes to work the next day and comes home and tells his wife honey I put my pp in the pickle slicer! His wife yelled what happened?! Was it bloody? Did it hurt?! The man tells his wife no, but I got fired and so did she.

A man walks into a butcher shop...

A man walks into a butcher shop and asks if the butcher has any duck meat.

The butcher says of course he does, but can only give it on a special condition.

"You can only get the duck if you stab yourself with a butcher's knife" the butcher tells the man.

The man was confused and Immediately demands an explanation for the absurd rule.

The butcher simply points to a sign located outside his store and it clearly reads

"No Harm No Fowl"

You can explore absurd unrealistic reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean absurd idiotic dad jokes. There are also absurd puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.

Why were the absurdly dressed chickens escorted from the basketball game?

Because two flagrant fouls is an automatic ejection.

What do you call an absurd saxophonist?


What? The square root of some numbers give us a infinite non-recurring decimal?

That's absurd!

I Was Going To St. Ives, A Poem

I was going to St. Ives,

When I saw a man with Seven Wives.

I know it sounds absurd and looney,

But that poor man was Mickey Rooney!

(R.I.P. Mickey Rooney, 1920-2014)

If the universe were not absurd, would it make sense?


Absurd joke, If the universe were not absurd, would it make sense?

Why did the absurdist cross the road?

Seventeen fish sticks.

20 Censored Movie Lines So Absurd They're Borderline Genius

An old man owns a boat.

He is a rich old bird who made his fortune early in life. he is a bit crazy and for some reason always hires male strippers and keeps absurd amounts of potatoes on his boat. when asked why he said, " I've always wanted to rule a country but i never got too, so i bought my boat and filled it with taters and male strippers." when asked how that helped he replied simply,"It's my dictatorship."

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the absurd loneliest puns are supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working absurd absurd humor piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes