Abstinent Jokes

- Doctor, I want to live very old

- Do you drink?
- Never, only water.
- You smoke?
- Oh no, my body is a temple
- Do you have crazy nights out dancing while doing cocaine and coming back home to have unprotected sex with multiple partners?
- Never, I'm single and abstinent.
- I see. So could you explain me exactly why you want to live old?

An abstinent blonde and her boyfriend...

An abstinent blonde and her boyfriend are about to celebrate their one year anniversary. She wants to do something special for him that night, and decides that she wants to go down on him, but alas has no experience. She asks her friend for advice, who then hands her a banana and says "Here, practice with this."

Sure enough, the blonde girls peels the banana and goes to town on it like a deepthroat professional. Her friend says "See, you're doing great! Don't change a thing!"

The next day the blonde's friend calls her up, eager to hear how everything went. "How did everything go?" She asks.

The blonde says "Pretty great. Didn't know there would be that much screaming and blood though."

"Blood?" Her friend asks, "Where did the blood come from?"

"The peeling."

A very conservative couple was hesitant to talk to their daughter about sex...

Years pass and the girl keeps growing up, and they do everything they can to keep her innocent on the subject. She goes to high school and college and the only think they teach her that she should avoid men and be abstinent. Finally, the young woman is engaged to be married. Hesitantly, the parents decide it is time to have "the talk". The husband and wife sit down with their daughter and blushing say: Sweetheart, we think that it is time for us to talk about sex. The daughter throws her hands up and says: "Finally! So... what would you like to know?"

Did you hear about the abstinent lenses?

They never came in contact.

We have collected gags that can be used as Abstinent pranks to have fun with. If you want to stand out in a crowd with a good sense of humour joking about Abstinent, here are one liners and funny Abstinent pick up lines.

Joko Jokes