Absolve Jokes

3 absolve jokes and hilarious absolve puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about absolve that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Share These Absolve Jokes With Friends

Howlingly Hilarious Absolve Jokes for an Unforgettable Evening

What is a good absolve joke to make people laugh? Check out this list of funny stories that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth.

"Mother Superior," said the novice nun . . .

"I have to confess that last night I committed the sin of fornication. Six times."
The Mother Superior thought a minute, then sliced up a lemon and handed it to the novice.
"Here, my child," she said. "Take and eat all of this."
"Will this absolve me of my sin?" asked the novice.
"No," said the Mother Superior. "But it will get that smile off your face!"

Christ died to absolve us of sin...

Now if only he'd come back and die two more times to get rid of cos and tan.

The Confession

A man's talking to his priest and says "Father, I don't know what to do. Suddenly, all of these beautiful women want to have s**... with me. I try to be good, but I have to confess, I'm weak. I slept with five women in the last three days."
The priest says, "Go home, squeeze five lemons into a cup, and drink it really fast."
The man asks, "Will that absolve me of all my sins?"
"No," the priest says.
"Will it help me resist temptation?"
"Then why..."
"It'll get that s**... smug grin off your face."

Share These Absolve Jokes With Friends