Comical Puns & Laughs: Enjoy Fun, Witty Absolutes Jokes with Friends.
Why don't Jedi Knights use the Kelvin scale?
Only a Sith deals in absolutes.
Why do the Jedi refuse to measure temperature using Kelvin?
Because only a Sith deals in absolutes
My wife said to me if I don't stop quoting Star Wars she's going to leave me
I replied "Only a Sith deals in absolutes"
Everyone talks about how May 4th is 100% hands down the best Star Wars holiday ever....
But only a fifth May deal in absolutes..
My wife told me she was tired of me always talking about StarWars and nothing else
I told her only a Sith deals in absolutes
Why won't the Jedi use parallel bars?
Because only the Sith deal in |absolutes|.
why is it general kenobi and not specific kenobi ?
only a sith deals in absolutes

To find a women you need time and money
To find a women you need time and money; therefore *Women=Time+Money*
But "Time is Money", therefore: Time=Money and so *Women=Money*Money* or Money^2
But "Money is the root of all Problems", therefore: *Money=βAll_Problems*
using those two absolutes we can say that
Women=(βAll_Problems)^2
**Women=All_Problems**
Why did Obi-wan not do his math homework?
Because only a Sith deals in absolutes.
Why couldn't Obi-Wan calculate the volume of Bespin from the ideal gas law?
Only a Sith deals in absolutes
β Only idiots deal in absolutes.
β Are you sure?
β Completely.
You can explore absolutes lightsaber reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean absolutes calculate dad jokes. There are also absolutes puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
How do you approach a Care Bear that deals in absolutes?
Carefully.
Why are the Sith never negative?
They only deal in absolutes.
Why don't Jedi mathematicians use the absolute value function?
Because only a Sith deals in absolutes.
^and ^it's ^non-differentiable ^at ^0
Why couldn't Luke calculate Abs(-1)?
Only a sith deals in absolutes.
If you were in a 'choose a movie/comic book character, or you die' situation. Who would you be?
Sith. Because only a sith deals in absolutes.

Why are Sith measurements not as accurate as Jedis'?
Because a Sith deals only in absolutes.
I don't speak in absolutes.
Not now. Not ever.
Was helping somebody do their math homework dealing with absolute values.
I then realized that her math teacher was a Sith Lord, because only Sith Lords deal in absolutes.