Absolut Vodka Jokes
20 absolut vodka jokes and hilarious absolut vodka puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about absolut vodka that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Absolut Vodka Funny Jokes to Tell Your Friends and Kids.
What is a good absolut vodka joke to make people laugh? Check out this list of funny stories that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth.
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What's a Jedi's favorite brand of v**...?
Skyy. Only Sith deal in Absolut.
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A man tried smuggling sausage and v**... out of Europe and his suitcase caught fire and they had to evacuate the plane.
The whole event was pretty terrible.
It was the Absolut-wurst-case scenario.
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This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Someone told me you can clean pigs with v**...
sounds like Absolut hogwash if you ask me
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A man with a dog and a cat walks into a bar...
The man, the dog, and the cat all sit down at the bar and the bartender says "What can I get you?" The dog looks squarely at the bartender and says I'll take a v**..., the guy will take a water, and the cat will take a scotch." The bartender looks absolutely shocked at the dog and says "This is AMAZING! You're a dog that can talk..." The guy looks at the bartender, and says "Don't be fooled, the cat is a ventriloquist."
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Saucy!?
I tried to make a 'fancy' sauce last night at dinner, I mixed v**..., gravy and nitrous oxide, sadly, all I managed was make myself an Absolut laughing stock!
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This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Why won't Obi-Wan mix you a v**... cocktail?
Only a Sith deals in Absoluts.
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This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What is Obi Wan Kenobi's least favourite drink?
Absolute v**...!
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This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
My recipe for v**...-flavoured brats never caught on.
It was the Absolut wurst.
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This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
My father told me that "there is no absolute" before he left.
He then asked me if I wanted anything from the store as he go pick up more v**....
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This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What do you call a very cold v**...?
Absolut Zero
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Part of my college class on distilling alcohol was about Swedish v**...
It was an Absolut unit
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So I told my friend to drink v**..., and he actually did it.
the Absolut madman.
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Drank a whole bottle of fancy v**... to celebrate Star Wars day
Only a Fifth, still it's Absolute.
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Absolut Vodka One Liners
Which absolut vodka one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with absolut vodka? I can suggest the ones about vodka and vodka drinking.
- What's a Jedi's favorite brand of v**...? Skyy. Only Sith deal in Absolut.
- Someone told me you can clean pigs with v**... sounds like Absolut hogwash if you ask me
- Why won't Obi-Wan mix you a v**... cocktail? Only a Sith deals in Absoluts.
- What is Obi Wan Kenobi's least favourite drink? Absolute v**...!
- My recipe for v**...-flavoured brats never caught on. It was the Absolut wurst.
- What do you call a very cold v**...? Absolut Zero
- So I told my friend to drink v**..., and he actually did it. the Absolut madman.