Absolut Vodka Jokes

25 absolut vodka jokes and hilarious absolut vodka puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about absolut vodka that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

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Funniest Absolut Vodka Short Jokes

Short absolut vodka jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The absolut vodka humour may include short russian vodka jokes also.

  1. A man tried smuggling sausage and v**... out of Europe and his suitcase caught fire and they had to evacuate the plane. The whole event was pretty terrible.
    It was the Absolut-wurst-case scenario.
  2. Why is v**... so hard to obtain in the Star Wars universe? Because only Siths deal in Absolut.
  3. Saucy!? I tried to make a 'fancy' sauce last night at dinner, I mixed v**..., gravy and nitrous oxide, sadly, all I managed was make myself an Absolut laughing stock!
  4. My father told me that "there is no absolute" before he left. He then asked me if I wanted anything from the store as he go pick up more v**....
  5. If you go to a Jedi bar, the only v**... that you can get is Grey Goose. Because..only the Sith deal in Absolut.
  6. Part of my college class on distilling alcohol was about Swedish v**... It was an Absolut unit
  7. Drank a whole bottle of fancy v**... to celebrate Star Wars day Only a Fifth, still it's Absolute.
  8. Why is v**... Obi-Wan Kenobi's least favourite drink? Because only a Sith deals in Absolut.

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Absolut Vodka One Liners

Which absolut vodka one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with absolut vodka? I can suggest the ones about vodka and vodka drinking.

  1. What's a Jedi's favorite brand of v**...? Skyy. Only Sith deal in Absolut.
  2. Someone told me you can clean pigs with v**... sounds like Absolut hogwash if you ask me
  3. Why don't the jedi drink v**...? Because only the Sith deal in absolut
  4. Why won't Obi-Wan mix you a v**... cocktail? Only a Sith deals in Absoluts.
  5. What is Obi Wan Kenobi's least favourite drink? Absolute v**...!
  6. My recipe for v**...-flavoured brats never caught on. It was the Absolut wurst.
  7. What do you call a very cold v**...? Absolut Zero
  8. So I told my friend to drink v**..., and he actually did it. the Absolut madman.
  9. Why do the Jedi not sell v**...? Because only a Sith deals in Absoluts

Absolut Vodka Funny Jokes And Hilarious Puns.

What funny jokes about absolut vodka you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean booze jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make absolut vodka pranks.

A man with a dog and a cat walks into a bar...

The man, the dog, and the cat all sit down at the bar and the bartender says "What can I get you?" The dog looks squarely at the bartender and says I'll take a v**..., the guy will take a water, and the cat will take a scotch." The bartender looks absolutely shocked at the dog and says "This is AMAZING! You're a dog that can talk..." The guy looks at the bartender, and says "Don't be fooled, the cat is a ventriloquist."