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Absinthe Jokes

8 absinthe jokes and hilarious absinthe puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about absinthe that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.


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Silly & Ridiculous Absinthe Jokes to Spread Joy & Laughter

What is a good absinthe joke to make people laugh? Check out this list of funny stories that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth.

Did you know that prostitutes at the Moulin Rouge used strong alcoholic drinks to bleach their hair?

Absinthe makes the tart grow blonder.

People say my wife only married me because she was drunk...

I say, hey, absinthe makes the heart grow fonder!

You know, absinthe plays a huge part in the origin of what we now call bachelor parties.

It was a tradition for a man's friends to take him to an upscale bar just before his wedding and order him a glass or two of the ol' green fairy. If he truly loved his fiancee and was ready for the match, it was a fun night away from her with friends, celebrating his love. If he was having doubts, it would make him ill and give him a chance to reconsider. Most of the time though, records seem to show that no doubts were had, especially after drinking. After all, you know what they say. Absinthe makes the heart grow fonder.

My brother was worried last night that he wouldn't be able to fall asleep because he had a headache.

I told him to make a stiff nightcap and drop a couple of pills in it. You know, just take Aleve of Absinthe.

I was recently dumped by a girl that has a lisp.

I've just received a text from her saying: "Was thinking of you when I bought some highly alcoholic green liquid."
Absinthe makes the heart grow fonder.

I've started a new religion based on the consumption of high-percentage alcohol. Its only downside is that I now miss a lot of work due to hangovers

It's called absinthe-theism.

My doctor told me to drink hard alcohol for my depression...

Turns out absinthe makes the heart grow fonder.

I used to drink absinthe

I used to drink absinthe, but it caused me bad indigestion and terrible wind, weirdly, it sounded like a Japanese motorbike.
I went to a doctor who told me it wasn't uncommon, that everybody knows "absinthe makes the f**... go Honda".


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