Absinthe Jokes

Following is our collection of fondlers puns and beverage one-liner funnies working better than reddit jokes. Including Absinthe jokes for adults, dirty alcoholism jokes and clean drink dad gags for kids.

The Best Absinthe Puns

Did you know that prostitutes at the Moulin Rouge used strong alcoholic drinks to bleach their hair?

Absinthe makes the tart grow blonder.

People say my wife only married me because she was drunk...

I say, hey, absinthe makes the heart grow fonder!

My brother was worried last night that he wouldn't be able to fall asleep because he had a headache.

I told him to make a stiff nightcap and drop a couple of pills in it. You know, just take Aleve of Absinthe.

My doctor told me to drink hard alcohol for my depression...

Turns out absinthe makes the heart grow fonder.

What do you call it when an alcoholic stops drinking?

A leave of absinthe.


I used to drink absinthe

I used to drink absinthe, but it caused me bad indigestion and terrible wind, weirdly, it sounded like a Japanese motorbike.

I went to a doctor who told me it wasn't uncommon, that everybody knows "absinthe makes the fart go Honda".

I was drinking my favorite liquor the other night...

...while sitting in front of my fireplace. I was feeling a pretty good buzz when all of a sudden I began to hallucinate, and out from the top of the fireplace sprung the disembodied head of Jane Fonda! Normally I would find this odd, but you know what they say:

Absinthe makes the hearth grow Fonda.

I love this illegal liquor I brought back from Europe.

I guess Absinthe really does make the heart grow fonder.

There is an abundance of gin jokes out there. You're fortunate to read a set of the 8 funniest jokes and absinthe puns. Full with funny wisecracks it is even funnier than any bottle witze you can hear about absinthe.

Use only working piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Note that dirty and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. You can seriously offend people by saying creepy dark humor words to them.

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