Absinthe Jokes

Did you know that prostitutes at the Moulin Rouge used strong alcoholic drinks to bleach their hair?

Absinthe makes the tart grow blonder.

People say my wife only married me because she was drunk...

I say, hey, absinthe makes the heart grow fonder!

My brother was worried last night that he wouldn't be able to fall asleep because he had a headache.

I told him to make a stiff nightcap and drop a couple of pills in it. You know, just take Aleve of Absinthe.

My doctor told me to drink hard alcohol for my depression...

Turns out absinthe makes the heart grow fonder.

What do you call it when an alcoholic stops drinking?

A leave of absinthe.

I used to drink absinthe

I used to drink absinthe, but it caused me bad indigestion and terrible wind, weirdly, it sounded like a Japanese motorbike.

I went to a doctor who told me it wasn't uncommon, that everybody knows "absinthe makes the fart go Honda".

I was drinking my favorite liquor the other night...

...while sitting in front of my fireplace. I was feeling a pretty good buzz when all of a sudden I began to hallucinate, and out from the top of the fireplace sprung the disembodied head of Jane Fonda! Normally I would find this odd, but you know what they say:

Absinthe makes the hearth grow Fonda.

I love this illegal liquor I brought back from Europe.

I guess Absinthe really does make the heart grow fonder.

We have collected gags that can be used as Absinthe pranks to have fun with. If you want to stand out in a crowd with a good sense of humour joking about Absinthe, here are one liners and funny Absinthe pick up lines.

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