The Best 10 Absinthe Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Absinthe jokes. There are some absinthe beverage jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these absinthe drink puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 Funniest Absinthe Jokes and Puns

Did you know that prostitutes at the Moulin Rouge used strong alcoholic drinks to bleach their hair?

Absinthe makes the tart grow blonder.

People say my wife only married me because she was drunk...

I say, hey, absinthe makes the heart grow fonder!

You know, absinthe plays a huge part in the origin of what we now call bachelor parties.

It was a tradition for a man's friends to take him to an upscale bar just before his wedding and order him a glass or two of the ol' green fairy. If he truly loved his fiancee and was ready for the match, it was a fun night away from her with friends, celebrating his love. If he was having doubts, it would make him ill and give him a chance to reconsider. Most of the time though, records seem to show that no doubts were had, especially after drinking. After all, you know what they say. Absinthe makes the heart grow fonder.

My brother was worried last night that he wouldn't be able to fall asleep because he had a headache.

I told him to make a stiff nightcap and drop a couple of pills in it. You know, just take Aleve of Absinthe.

I was recently dumped by a girl that has a lisp.

I've just received a text from her saying: "Was thinking of you when I bought some highly alcoholic green liquid."

Absinthe makes the heart grow fonder.


My doctor told me to drink hard alcohol for my depression...

Turns out absinthe makes the heart grow fonder.

I used to drink absinthe

I used to drink absinthe, but it caused me bad indigestion and terrible wind, weirdly, it sounded like a Japanese motorbike.

I went to a doctor who told me it wasn't uncommon, that everybody knows "absinthe makes the fart go Honda".

What do you call it when an alcoholic stops drinking?

A leave of absinthe.

I was drinking my favorite liquor the other night...

...while sitting in front of my fireplace. I was feeling a pretty good buzz when all of a sudden I began to hallucinate, and out from the top of the fireplace sprung the disembodied head of Jane Fonda! Normally I would find this odd, but you know what they say:

Absinthe makes the hearth grow Fonda.

I love this illegal liquor I brought back from Europe.

I guess Absinthe really does make the heart grow fonder.

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the absinthe gin jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working absinthe bottle piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

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