Absentminded Jokes

A 96 year old man...

After marrying a beautiful young woman, a 96 year old man informed his doctor that he and his new wife were expecting a baby.

"Let me tell you a story," the doctor said. "An absentminded fellow went hunting, but instead of a gun, he accidentally brought his umbrella on the trip. When he was in the woods, a bear charged him unexpectedly. The man whipped out his umbrella, pointed it at the bear and shot and killed it on the spot."

"That's impossible!" the elderly man exclaimed. "Someone else shot the bear."

"My point exactly," the doctor replied.

A barber, a bald man and an absent-minded professor take a journey together...

They have to camp overnight, and so decide to take turns watching the luggage. When it's the barber's turn, he gets bored, so amuses himself by shaving the head of the professor. When the professor is woken up for his shift, he feels his head, and says "How stupid is that barber? He's woken up the bald man instead of me.


I saw this joke on the Wikipedia article for "joke." It's interesting how, even though this joke is from the third or fourth century, it's still humorous today.

What happened to the absent-minded conductor?

He lost his train of thought.

An absent-minded person put too much soap and clothes in the washer, and the room floods.

That must explain the rising Tide.

We have collected gags that can be used as Absentminded pranks to have fun with. If you want to stand out in a crowd with a good sense of humour joking about Absentminded, here are one liners and funny Absentminded pick up lines.

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