Absent Jokes

This article provides a collection of funny jokes about being absent-minded, absent parents and being absent from school or work. From the Absent Minded Professor to the yearbook of a junior who was absent the whole year, these jokes will have you laughing.

Comical Puns & Laughs: Enjoy Fun, Witty Absent Jokes with Friends.

Every day, my teacher reads a joke from Reddit to start the class, but today she is absent.

So instead, a subreddit.

A beautiful college professor reminds her student of the big test tomorrow

She says "You cannot be absent unless you are wounded, seriously ill or you have a sudden death in the family." One boy asks "But what about extreme fatigue from a hot night of sex?" When the class is done laughing the professor smiles and says
"In that case you can write with your other hand."

North Korea's leader has been suspiciously absent, arousing concerns from his followers who all wonder...

...Is Kim Jong ill?

All the letters were having a discussion.

Suddenly they discovered letter T is absent. They called him up and T said, "wait I'm in the middle of something."

(Might be a stupid joke but I made it myself, hence posting)

Why are mechanics absent fathers?

Because they nut and bolt

i miss all the absent father jokes people used to make

when are they coming back?

A teacher asked in a class full of blondes who killed Abraham Lincoln

A student said It wasn't me
Second blonde said I was absent yesterday
Another blonde I couldn't kill a fly and you ask me if I killed a human being

The teacher frustratingly left the classroom and head to the principal,whose happen to be blonde.

She heard the story and went to the class.

She left the classroom and asked the teacher are you sure the killer in this class?

Absent joke, A teacher asked in a class full of blondes  who killed Abraham Lincoln

An absent student

A Student, every time he is absent from school, he tells his teachers that his father is in the hospital, then when this happened way too many times, one of his teachers goes to visit his father
He was surprised to find
his father is in fact a doctor

Yo mommas so black

she has been marked absent at night school.

A teacher was taking attendance

She noticed one student was missing and marked him absent. She continues on with her lesson until, about a half hour in, the student walks in. She says to him, You're late. He says nothing and instead pulls out a clock, No, he says and proceeds to sit on the clock, I'm right on time.

A kid walks into his home room after being absent yesterday

The teacher says, "Why were you not here yesterday?" The kid says, "My father was in the hospital." The following week the teacher asked, "Is your father still in the hospital?" The kid laughs and then says, "Yes, my father's a doctor!"

You can explore absent absence reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean absent school dad jokes. There are also absent puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.

As an absent father, I like my kids like I like my flour


An absent-minded person put too much soap and clothes in the washer, and the room floods.

That must explain the rising Tide.

How do Chicago teachers know who's going to be absent?

Reading the obituaries

What did the hobbits call the douchebag Ents that missed the battle to take selfies?


Your father is so absent...

When I Google searched him it returned: Error 404 Not found.

Absent joke, Your father is so absent...

I blame the telephone company for my absent father.

Me and him never had a good connection.

Yo mama's so black.

When she went to nightschool, the teacher marked her absent.

If a woman with abs gets a miscarriage does that make the baby...


Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the absent student puns are supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working absent absent minded piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes