Fun-Filled Absence Jokes to Boost Your Mood
After a 2000 year absence, the Virgin Mary takes a trip down to earth.
After a couple of days, she calls back to heaven. "Hi Peter, this is the Virgin Mary. I met a man." Peter says to her, "That's not bad. This is how it is down on earth."
The next day she calls back to heaven. "Hi Peter, this is the Virgin Mary. I kissed the man. Is that bad?" Peter says to her, "No, that's part of life on earth."
The next day she calls back to heaven. "Hi Peter, this is Mary."
Dear John,
I have been unable to sleep since I broke off our engagement. Won't you forgive and forget? Your absence is breaking my heart. I was a fool, nobody can take your place.
All my love,
Belinda. xxxxoooxxxx
P.S. Congratulations on winning last week's Powerball lottery.
Absence makes the heart grow fonder...
Absence makes the heart grow fonder, and abstinence makes the hand grow stronger.
There is a boy that went to school after 3 weeks of absence...
The teacher asks him:
-Why didn't you come to school in your first week of absence?
Boy:A brick fell on my grandma and we had to burry her.
Teacher:But second week?
Boy:A brick fell on my grandpa and we had to burry him.
Teacher:And the last week?
Boy:A brick fell on my dad and we had to burry him.
Teacher:But what were you doing all this time??
Boy:I was on the roof of my house playing with bricks.
A teacher asked his students..
A teacher asked his students "Is black a color?". One student replied "Yes, it's all the colors." another student said "No, it's the absence of color." Then another student said "It's only three-fifths of a color."
Why did the restaurant staff deem the waiters absence due to depression to be a technical issue?
Because their servers were down.
A man is sipping on his coffee at a cafe
He needs to visit bathroom. He doesn't want anyone to steal&drink his coffee during his absence so he leaves a sign on a cup that says: "I've spit in it".
He goes to the bathroom and comes back to find another sign on his coffee that says: "Me too"
Winner
Dear John,
I have been unable to sleep since I broke off our engagement. Won't you forgive and forget? Your absence is breaking my heart. I was a fool, nobody can take your place. I love you.
All my love,
Belinda. xxxxoooxxxx
P.S. Congratulations on winning this week's lottery.
Absence may make the heart grow fonder...
But abstinence makes the dong grow harder.
A good reputation should be like a good fart
It should precede before your presence and linger after your absence.
It's been quite a while since I saw a movie with Jane, Henry, or Bridget
I guess it's true what they say - absence makes the heart grow Fonda.
You can explore absence scarcity reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean absence advertisment dad jokes. There are also absence puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
Absence makes the heart grow fonder unless?
it's Kanye West.
What do Trees do in Autumn?
Take a Leaf of absence.
What do you call it when a metal head takes a leave of absence?
A Black Sabbatical
Why did the French monarchy embrace nihilism in the absence of a dauphin?
Because they no longer had a *porpoise*
My boss held a meeting because of my excessive absence.
But I didn't attend it.
About to hit my yeard, and I realized that not shaving for so longer beforehand made my commitment stronger
It was then that I realized that absence makes the beard grow longer.
Black isn't a color, it's the absence of...
integrity.
