Absence Jokes

These are the 17 absence jokes and hilarious absence puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about absence that are good jokes for kids and friends..

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Best Short Absence Jokes

These are our top absence puns. Have fun with a good absence joke in English with simple absence humour.

  1. Absence makes the heart grow fonder... Absence makes the heart grow fonder, and abstinence makes the hand grow stronger.
  2. Why did the restaurant staff deem the waiters absence due to depression to be a technical issue? Because their servers were down.
  3. It's been quite a while since I saw a movie with Jane, Henry, or Bridget I guess it's true what they say - absence makes the heart grow Fonda.
  4. Why did the French monarchy embrace nihilism in the absence of a dauphin? Because they no longer had a *porpoise*
  5. About to hit my yeard, and I realized that not shaving for so longer beforehand made my commitment stronger It was then that I realized that absence makes the beard grow longer.
  6. Concerning the absence of toilet paper, there should be complaint books laid out at publicly used places.
  7. My long-distance girlfriend explaining why she cheated "Absence makes the heart go wander"
  8. A good reputation should be like a good f**... It should precede before your presence and linger after your absence.
Absence joke, A good reputation should be like a good f**...

Make fun with this list of one liners, gags and riddles. Each joke is crafted with thought and creativity, delivering punchlines that are unexpected and witty. The humor found in these absence jokes can easily lighten the mood and bring smiles to people's faces. This compilation of absence puns is not just entertaining but also a testament to the art of joke-telling. The jokes in this list are designed to display different humor styles, ensuring that every reader at any age finds something entertaining. Constantly updated, these jokes offer a source of fun that ensures one is always smiling !

Absence One Liners

Which absence dad jokes are funny enough to crack down and make fun with absence?

  1. Absence makes the heart grow fonder unless? it's Kanye West.
  2. What do Trees do in Autumn? Take a Leaf of absence.
  3. What do you call it when a metal head takes a leave of absence? A Black Sabbatical
  4. My boss held a meeting because of my excessive absence. But I didn't attend it.
  5. Black isn't a color, it's the absence of... integrity.
  6. Absence may make the heart grow fonder... But abstinence makes the d**... grow harder.

Absence joke, Absence may make the heart grow fonder...

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Fun-Filled Absence Jokes to Boost Your Mood

What funny jokes about absence to tell and make people laugh ? Check out these list of good jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help make absence prank.

After a 2000 year absence, the v**... Mary takes a trip down to earth.

​
After a couple of days, she calls back to heaven. "Hi Peter, this is the v**... Mary. I met a man." Peter says to her, "That's not bad. This is how it is down on earth."
The next day she calls back to heaven. "Hi Peter, this is the v**... Mary. I kissed the man. Is that bad?" Peter says to her, "No, that's part of life on earth."
The next day she calls back to heaven. "Hi Peter, this is Mary."

Dear John,

I have been unable to sleep since I broke off our engagement. Won't you forgive and forget? Your absence is breaking my heart. I was a fool, nobody can take your place.
All my love,
Belinda. xxxxoooxxxx
P.S. Congratulations on winning last week's Powerball lottery.

There is a boy that went to school after 3 weeks of absence...

The teacher asks him:
-Why didn't you come to school in your first week of absence?
Boy:A brick fell on my grandma and we had to burry her.
Teacher:But second week?
Boy:A brick fell on my grandpa and we had to burry him.
Teacher:And the last week?
Boy:A brick fell on my dad and we had to burry him.
Teacher:But what were you doing all this time??
Boy:I was on the roof of my house playing with bricks.

A teacher asked his students..

A teacher asked his students "Is black a color?". One student replied "Yes, it's all the colors." another student said "No, it's the absence of color." Then another student said "It's only three-fifths of a color."

A man is sipping on his coffee at a cafe

He needs to visit bathroom. He doesn't want anyone to steal&drink his coffee during his absence so he leaves a sign on a cup that says: "I've spit in it".
He goes to the bathroom and comes back to find another sign on his coffee that says: "Me too"

Winner

Dear John,
I have been unable to sleep since I broke off our engagement. Won't you forgive and forget? Your absence is breaking my heart. I was a fool, nobody can take your place. I love you.
All my love,
Belinda. xxxxoooxxxx
P.S. Congratulations on winning this week's lottery.

Absence joke, About to hit my yeard, and I realized that not shaving for so longer beforehand made my commitment s

Jokes are a form of humor that often involves clever wordplay, puns or unexpected twists in a story. These are usually short narratives or anecdotes crafted with the intent of amusing its audience by ending in an unexpected or humorous punchline. Jokes are a universal form of entertainment that people of all ages like kids and toddlers can enjoy. They can be verbal, as in a play on words, or narrative, often involving a set-up and a punchline. JokoJokes has it all! Jokes in Spanish are also found. Teens are often joking with 4 year olds and 6 year olds. Found out more in our Jokes FAQ section

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The impact of these absence jokes can be both social and psychological. They can help to ease tensions, create bonds between people, and even improve overall mental health. The success of a joke often relies on the delivery, timing, and audience. Jokes can be used in various settings, from social gatherings to professional presentations, and are often employed to lighten the mood or enhance a story.

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