The Best 16 Absence Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Absence jokes. There are some absence decrease jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these absence shortage puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 Funniest Absence Jokes and Puns

Absence makes the heart grow fonder...

Absence makes the heart grow fonder, and abstinence makes the hand grow stronger.

There is a boy that went to school after 3 weeks of absence...

The teacher asks him:
-Why didn't you come to school in your first week of absence?
Boy:A brick fell on my grandma and we had to burry her.
Teacher:But second week?
Boy:A brick fell on my grandpa and we had to burry him.
Teacher:And the last week?
Boy:A brick fell on my dad and we had to burry him.
Teacher:But what were you doing all this time??
Boy:I was on the roof of my house playing with bricks.

A teacher asked his students..

A teacher asked his students "Is black a color?". One student replied "Yes, it's all the colors." another student said "No, it's the absence of color." Then another student said "It's only three-fifths of a color."

Why did the restaurant staff deem the waiters absence due to depression to be a technical issue?

Because their servers were down.

A man is sipping on his coffee at a cafe

He needs to visit bathroom. He doesn't want anyone to steal&drink his coffee during his absence so he leaves a sign on a cup that says: "I've spit in it".
He goes to the bathroom and comes back to find another sign on his coffee that says: "Me too"


Dear John,

I have been unable to sleep since I broke off our engagement. Won't you forgive and forget? Your absence is breaking my heart. I was a fool, nobody can take your place. I love you.

All my love,

Belinda. xxxxoooxxxx

P.S. Congratulations on winning this week's lottery.

Absence may make the heart grow fonder...

But abstinence makes the dong grow harder.

Absence joke, Absence may make the heart grow fonder...

A good reputation should be like a good fart

It should precede before your presence and linger after your absence.

It's been quite a while since I saw a movie with Jane, Henry, or Bridget

I guess it's true what they say - absence makes the heart grow Fonda.

Absence makes the heart grow fonder unless?

it's Kanye West.

What do Trees do in Autumn?

Take a Leaf of absence.

You can explore absence scarcity reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean absence advertisment dad jokes. There are also absence puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.

What do you call it when a metal head takes a leave of absence?

A Black Sabbatical

Why did the French monarchy embrace nihilism in the absence of a dauphin?

Because they no longer had a *porpoise*

My boss held a meeting because of my excessive absence.

But I didn't attend it.

About to hit my yeard, and I realized that not shaving for so longer beforehand made my commitment stronger

It was then that I realized that absence makes the beard grow longer.

Black isn't a color, it's the absence of...


Absence joke, Black isn't a color, it's the absence of...

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the absence exquisite jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working absence absent piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

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