The Best 87 About A Boy Jokes

Following is our collection of funny About A Boy jokes. There are some about a boy afraid jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these about a boy southern puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 Funniest About A Boy Jokes and Puns

My wife stormed into the pub last night as me and the boys were downing shots of Tequila.

You're coming home now! she screamed.

No, I'm not, I laughed.

She said, I'm talking to the kids.

A boy asked his Bitcoin-investing dad...

...for $10.00 worth of Bitcoin currency.

Dad: $9.67? What do you need $10.32 for?

A lady was picking through the frozen turkeys for Thanksgiving, but she couldn't find one big enough for her family.

She asked a stock boy, "Do these turkeys get any bigger?"

The stock boy replied, "No ma'am, they're dead."

A guy sits down on a bench next to a Thai kid wearing soccer cleats.

"So, who are you rooting for in the World Cup Final?" the man asks, noticing the soccer gear.

"I don't know, who's playing?" the boy answers.

"Jesus Christ, have you been under a rock or something?"

jokes about about a boy

Why did Elon Musk choose SpaceX to land on mars?

Because if he chose SpaceY he'd land on 14 year old boys.


My wife said she wanted just one child of each gender

I told her "how about just one boy and one girl? I don't want to contribute to overpopulation."

Man: Doctor, all five of my boys want to be valets when they grow up!

Doctor: Wow! That's the worst case of parking son's disease that I have ever seen.

About A Boy joke, Man: Doctor, all five of my boys want to be valets when they grow up!

Boy: What's a palindrome?


Teacher: racecar

{10 years later}

Boy: [bursting out of bank in ski mask] where's the palindrome

Getaway driver: [sitting in kayak]

A boy scout says to his scout leader, "Sir, is this snake poisonous?" The scout leader says, "No, that snake's not poisonous at all." So the boy picks up the snake, which bites him and the boy starts to spasm and foam at the mouth as the other kids look on in horror...

The scout leader says, "But that snake is venomous. Poison is ingested or absorbed, while venom is injected. Let's get it right next time, boys."

When I was younger, the local priest told me that I was the prettiest boy he'd ever seen.

I was touched.

You can tell the gender of an ant by dropping it in water. If it sinks it's girl ant,

If it floats it's boy ant.

You can explore about a boy hear reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean about a boy trees dad jokes. There are also about a boy puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


A boy and his dad are talking.

"Hey Dad."

"Yes son?"

"Did you ever get shot in the army?"

He looks at his son in silence. Tears start to form in the Dad's eyes, and he quietly replies;

"No, but I was shot in the leggy."

My best friend passed away recently, and grieving before his grave I said,

"Bro, I really miss you. My wife has been pregnant for 8 months now. How about you reincarnate as my child?"

A month later, my wife gave birth to a big boy. As my child grew older each day, I realized he looks a lot like my best friend.

I'm really happy that my prayer worked.

What did the boy with no hands get for Christmas?

GLOVES! Nah, just kidding... He still hasn't unwrapped his present.

Today I saw a little boy wearing rags sitting on a curb

I said, "Awww, are you an orphan"?
He said, "Yes, what gave me away?"
I said, "Your parents."

Told by a 7 year old boy: How do you drop on an egg on a concrete floor without cracking it.

Concrete floors are really hard to crack.

Then he said "you were thinking about the egg weren't you!"

About A Boy joke, Told by a 7 year old boy: How do you drop on an egg on a concrete floor without cracking it.

I woman had just given birth to a baby boy...

The doctor was holding him and told the parent,"I regret to inform you that your son was born without eyelids." The mother replies," That's terrible. What are we going to do?" The doctor says," I've seen this before, don't worry. We will circumcise him and use the foreskin to make him new eyelids." The father says," Won't that make him cock-eyed." The doctor replies," No, if anything it will give him foresight"

A boy paid a girl $10 to climb a flagpole...

She agrees and climbs the flagpole. When she gets home she tells her mother what happened. Her mother said "honey, he just wanted to see your underwear." The next day the same boy was standing by the flagpole and said "I will give you $20 to climb the flagpole." Again she agrees and climbs. She goes home and tells her mother "mom the boy paid me to climb the flagpole again, but I outsmarted him this time. I didn't wear any underwear."

A boy goes up to a girl and says "hey baby what's up"...

She says "I have a boyfriend", he says "I have a math test".

The girl says "What's that got to do with anything?", he replies "I thought we were just naming things we are going to cheat on."


Boy scout: Sir, I found a snake, is it poisonous?

Me: No little one, this snake isn't poisonous at all

*Snake bites boy and boy immediately starts to spasm and foam at the mouth, leaving the other kids watching, horrified*

Me: However, this snake is venomous. Venom is always injected, poison is ingested or absorbed through the skin. Let's get it right next time lads

A college professor asks all of his students to yell out stereotypes for a class project

For a class project, a college professor asks all of his students to brainstorm and yell out different kinds of stereotypes.

"All blonde girls are dumb!" yells a boy in the back.

"Sony!" Yells the blonde girl in the front.

A boy was born of an Indian, Chinese, Irish, and Italian grandmother...

They couldn't settle on a name, until it hit them!

They named him Ravi O. Lee

Sorry

Two boys are in the woods...

...They were walking when they noticed two girls getting naked in a nearby pond. One kid bolted the other way and the other one chased after him. "Why did you leave man! That was the prime opportunity for us to see naked chicks!" Then the other kid said "well, my mom said if I ever see a naked girl before I'm married, I'll turn to stone and I felt something getting hard!"

A young lady from my office just sent me an email

saying "ithinktherearesomeproblemswithmykeyboardcanyoupleasegivemeanalternative"

Oh boy am I excited, but what does "ternative" mean?

A woman wakes up from a coma and...

A 4-months-pregnant woman falls into a deep coma. 5 months later she wakes up and asks the doctor about her baby.

Doctor: You had twins, a boy and a girl, and they are perfectly fine. Luckily your brother named them for you.

Woman: Oh no not my brother! He's an idiot. What did he name the my daughter?

Doctor: Denise

Woman: Oh that's not that bad. What did he name my son?

Doctor: Denephew

A 13 year old boy has difficulty with mathematics, failing in public school.

His parents were not religious but after a friend's suggestion they felt a private Catholic school may be more effective. His grades began to rise dramatically after this switch. Asked what has helped him so much, he responded

"When I saw the guy nailed to the plus sign I knew they meant business!"

About A Boy joke, A 13 year old boy has difficulty with mathematics, failing in public school.

A boy asks his dad a question

A boy asks his dad "Why do they say gardeners have green thumbs,when their thumbs are not green?"

The dad replies,"It's just a saying son,It's like when somebody is caught stealing,they say they have been caught 'red handed',even though their hands is black."

The little black jewish boy...

A black Jewish boy runs home from school one day and asks his father, Daddy, am I more Jewish or more black? The dad replies, Why do you want to know, son? Because a kid at school is selling a bike for $50 and I want to know if I should talk him down to $40 or just steal it!

An old man is dying..

His grandson asks him, "papa.. What will happen to your body when you die?" the grandfather looks up weakly at him and says, "I decay...". Just then his monitor flat lines and the boy sat wondering why his grandfather didnt know what would happen to his corpse.


What did the Indian boy say to his mother as he left for school?

Mumbai!

If a rich man dies from a drug overdose, the headline should read "Pills bury dough boy"

Credit to my friend Chris

A boy walks in on his dad masturbating...

He asks him, "Daddy what are you doing?"

His dad responds, "Don't worry son, you'll be doing it soon."

The boy then asks, "Why's that daddy?"

His dad answers, "Because my arms getting tired.."

I asked my grandfather for twenty dollars.

"Twenty dollars?!" he said. "For what?"

"To buy groceries," I told him.

"When I was a boy," my grandfather said. "My mama would give me one dollar, just *one dollar*, and I'd go to the store and come home with two loaves of bread, two sacks of potatoes, a carton of eggs, three bottles of milk, a can of coffee and a box of tea."

He shrugged and paused.

"Times have changed and ya can't do that now," he told me. "Too many fuckin' security cameras."

When I was a little boy, my dad taught me that any little boy or girl, even me, could grow up and become President someday...

I'm starting to believe him.


I just flew in from Chernobyl

And boy are my arms legs.

A man just released from prison was walking down the street shouting, "I'm free! I'm free!"...

A little boy yelled back at him, "that's nothing, I'm four!"

MOM! I'm being called gay in school.

Who is calling you that son?

A bunch of cute boys.

What's the difference between a Boy Scout and a guy who fixes bicycle horns?

One's motto is 'Be Prepared', the other's is 'Beep Repaired'

Masturbating

An 8-year-old choir boy catches the priest masturbating.

He said, "What are you doing father?"

"It's called masturbating," the priest replied. "You'll be doing this soon."

"Why father?" he asked.

"Because my wrist is killing me," the priest replied.

Boy goes to confession and tells the priest he has been with a girl of loose morals.

"That's a grievous sin," the priest says. "Tell me: Was it Mary O'Hara?"

"No, Father."

"Was it Kate Dannaher?"

"No, Father."

"Was it Kathleen McGonigle?"

"No, Father. I don't want to say who it was."

Later, as the boy leaves the church, he sees a friend, who asks him, "How'd it go?"

He answers, "Well, I got ten Hail Marys, five Our Fathers... and three great leads."

What did the boy with no arms get for his Birthday ?

Don't know he hasn't opened it yet

A mother is helping her son study for a geography test.

She asks him: "What is the capital of Germany?"

"Berlin," says the boy.

"What is the capital of France?"

"Berlin," says the boy.

"What is the capital of Russia?"

"Berlin," says the boy.

"Good job, Adolf, you'll do great on your test tomorrow."

There's a big difference between a boy or a girl saying

I got through a whole box of tissues when I found out my 18 year old sister was adopted

A young boy was kissed by a girl he really liked.

But after only a few seconds, the boy abruptly ended his first kiss. "I'm so sorry, but I can't continue!" he said. "Why not," the girl asked, "didn't you like it?"

"No, that's not it," the boy replied. "It's my mom. She said that if I kiss a girl before I'm sixteen, I'll turn into a statue. And I could feel it starting already."

A teacher says to her class "whoever answers my next question can go home."

One boy at the back of the class throws his bag out the window.

"Who just threw that? Demands the teacher.

"Me" replied the boy. "And I'm going home."

Three boys were talking after school...

Three boys were talking after school while waiting for their fathers to pick them up. The first one boasts: "My dad is a Formula One driver. He finishes work at 5:00 and picks me up at 5:15."

The second boy says: "That's nothing. My dad is a jet pilot. He finishes work at 5:00 and picks me up at 5:05!"

The last boy looks at his companions and says: "Pfff.... amateurs! My dad works for the government. He finishes work at 5:00 and picks me up at 4:45!"

A boy asks his father Dad, what does 'gay' mean?

Father: It means 'to be happy'.

Son: Are you gay?

Father: No, son. I have a wife.

"It's a boy", David shouted, "It's a BOY!" With tears rolling down his eyes, David came running out of the room.

And never visited Bangkok again.

A young boy is bathing with his mother

Boy says, Whats that hairy thing mom?

Mom replies, That is my sponge.

Oh yes, says the boy, The babysitters got one, I've seen her washing dads face with it.

A little boy caught his mom riding his dad.

The little boy said, Mom what are you doing?

She said, Son, your daddy's stomach is too big so I sit on top to flatten it out.

He said, Aw momma you're wasting your time because when you're not here the lady next door gets on her knees and blows it back up!

A boy says to his dad, "Why do they say gardeners have got green fingers when their fingers aren't green?"

His dad replies, "It's just a saying, son. It's like when someone is caught stealing something, they say that they've been caught red-handed', even though their hands are actually black."

I was in bed with this redneck girl when her father, her brother and her boyfriend busted in the room...

....and boy was he mad.

A man is washing his car with his son...

...after a while the boy says to his Father Dad, why can't we just use a sponge?

What's the difference between Thailand and America?

Thailand reunites boys with their families.

I'm glad the cave rescue is complete....

Now when I google Thai boys I can get back to normal results

A boy asked his father, "Dad, what does gay mean?"

"It means happy son." Replied the father.

Then the boy asked, "Then Dad, are you gay?"

"No son, I am married." the father replied.

What's the difference between acne and a Catholic priest?

Acne waits untill a boy's 12 before it comes on his face.

"Dad, was I adopted as a child?"

The father sighs, places his hand on the boy's shoulder and replies wistfully:

"We tried, but nobody would take you"

4 people are on a crashing plane, but there are only 3 parachutes.

The first person the grab a parachute is Brad Pitt and as he reachs for the door he says, "My family and my fans need me surely you will understand.", off he goes.

The next person to grab one is Donald Trump:
"Im the most intellegent president this nation ever saw i will do great things to this country" and he jumps out.

Left in the plane is an old man and a young school boy.
"Go on take the last one", the old man said, "I lived a long and fulfilled life." Hearing that the school boy answered calmly, "Don't worry, we'll both be okay. Our most intelligent President yet just took my backpack."

Old German joke

An eight-year old boy had never spoken a word. One afternoon, as he sat eating his lunch he turned to his mother and said, The soup is cold."

His astonished mother exclaimed, Son, I've waited so long to hear you speak. But all these years you never said a thing. Why haven't you spoken before?"

The boy looked at her and replied, Up until now, everything has been satisfactory."

A 3 year old boy examined his testicles in bath

Mom He asked Are these my brains

Not yet She replied

It was 11 years ago today that my pal Joey came running out of that room shouting it's a boy it's a boy with tears streaming down his face.

We never went back to Thailand.

Which bible verse does a priest say often to the altar boy?

**Psalm 81:10.**



**....** open thy mouth wide, and I will fill it.

Four college students get drunk together the night before their final exam.

They get so drunk that they wake up late and miss their exam. The four students go to the professor together and explain this elaborate lie that their car tire went flat when they were on their way to the exam. They beg for a retest, and the professor agrees.

The day of the makeup test, the four boys all arrive on time, completely sober. The professor looks at the boys, looks at his watch, and says you may begin the test.

The boys open the final booklet and to their surprise, they each only have one question.

Which tire was flat?

My wife is pregnant with a boy and i want to call him Lance

My wife said its such an uncommon name.

So i told her back in medievil days people were called Lance a lot

Girl: What are your plans for today?

Boy: Me and a friend of mine are going to buy some glasses.

Girl: And after that?

Boy: And after that we'll see.

An African man visits his friend in the US

I just flew in yesterday the African man says And boy are my arms tired!

You know, that's kind of an old joke here in America replied his friend.

Joke? The African man said. I've been holding my hands in the air yelling 'don't shoot' ever since I got to this damn country .

Two young boys walked into a drug store, picked out a box of tampons, and proceeded to the checkout counter

The man at the counter asked the older boy, "Son, how old are you?"
"Eight" the boy replied.
The man continued, "Do you know what these are used for?"
The boy replied, "Not exactly, but they aren't for me. They're for him... He's my brother. He's four. We saw on TV that if you use these, you will be able to swim and ride a bike. Right now, he can't do either"

Why did the Proud Boy check on his sad friend?

To make sure his friend was feeling... alt-right.

Feel free to downvote me to reddit hell...

What is the difference between BTS and Logan Paul?

BTS is a boy band from Asia; Logan Paul is a boy banned from Asia.

Pope Francis, Donald Trump, Joe Biden, and a little boy are crossing the Atlantic on an airplane when the engines fail.

They find three parachutes.

Donald Trump grabs the first parachute and jumps out of the plane saying, The world needs a great person like me!

Joe Biden grabs a parachute and says, I need to help make choices for our world , so he jumps off the plane.Β 

At this point, the Pope and the little boy are on the plane.Β 

The Pope says to the boy, take the last parachute, I am too old and I'm going to die soon one day. Β 

Actually there are two left. Donald Trump took my backpack.

A woman was 3 months pregnant when she fell into a deep coma and woke up after about 10 months.

The woman asked the doctor about her baby.

Doctor: You had twins, a boy and a girl. They're both fine. And, your brother named them for you.

Woman: No No No! Not my brother. He's an idiot! What did he name the girl?

Doctor: Denise.

Woman: Ohh, that's actually a nice name. What about the boy?

Doctor: deeply sighs Denephew.

When I asked my daughter what she wanted for dinner, she said with a straight face, "uncooked boys."

Ramen. Took me second, but I was much relieved when I figured it out.

A teenager brings her new boyfriend home to meet her parents.

They're appalled by his haircut, tattoos and piercings.

The boy leaves and the girl's mom remarks, Dear, he doesn't seem to be a very nice boy.

* Oh, come on Mom! If he wasn't nice, would he be doing 300 hours of community service? *

A Russian boy asks his dad for 1000 rubles to buy some candy from the store

His dad replies 1000 rubles? 1600 rubles is way too much to spend on candy. How much candy can 2300 rubles even buy?

My 7 year old organically made this up!

Super Bowl halftime show, watching with my wife and boys, wife says The halftime show is a bunch of rappers from the 80's and 90's, including Eminem, I really like him.

7 year old: Mn'Ms are good, but I like Skittles better

Wife: Not the candies silly, the rapper!

7 year old: Why would you just eat the wrappers!?

What do you call a little boy made of pasta who comes to life?

Pi-gnocchi-o



(I really wish you could hear how hard I'm laughing to myself)

My favorite burn I've gotten for being trans

I was born female and transitioned to male. Early on in my transition, my gf and I were playing a video game, and I called her a noob when she died.

Her: Yeah okay Pinocchio.

Me: Pinocchio?

Her: You know... "I want to be a real boy!"

Finally, a blonde joke I haven't heard before…

A blonde gets a job as a physical education teacher of 16-year-olds.

She notices a boy at the end of the field standing alone, while all the other kids are running around having fun kicking a ball.

She takes pity on him and decides to speak to him.

'You ok?' she says.

'Yes.' he says.

'You can go and play with the other kids you know' she says.

'No, it's probably best I stay here.' he says.

'Why's that sweetie?' says the blonde.

The boy looks at her incredulously and says,

Because I'm the Goalie!



**

A kid is selling lemonade…

The boy's sign reads 1 cup for 25Β’, 3 cups for $1

A construction worker stops by and asks to buy one cup of lemonade.
"25 cents", says the kid.

The construction worker then buys another one, and another one, paying 25 cents each.

As the construction worker walks away, he turns around with a smile, and says: "Hey kid, you realize I just bought three cups for 75’… Maybe lemonade stands aren't your thing."

"I guess you're right" says the kid good-naturedly as he sets up the next 3 cups.

As my daughter was walking out the door to go on her first date, in my best grumpy old tough guy dad voice, I growled, "I want her home before midnight." The boy she was going with stopped dead in his tracks, turned slowly around and with wide eyes replied....

"But you already own her home!"

A blond Joke I've only heard once before.

A blonde gets a job as a physical education teacher of 16-year-olds.

She notices a boy at the end of the field standing alone, while all the other kids are running around having fun kicking a ball.

She takes pity on him and decides to speak to him.

'You ok?' she says.

'Yes.' he says.

You can go and play with the other kids you know' she says.

'No, it's probably best I stay here.' he says.

'Why's that sweetie?' says the blonde.

The boy looks at her incredulously and says,

"Because I'm the Goalie!"

A woman and her husband got a dog

They show off their new dog to their friend, who absolutely adores the little guy.

What a good boy! Their friend says. Did you adopt him?

No, says the wife, he's our biological dog

A woman wakes up from coma...

Doctor: You've been in coma for the past 3 months

Woman: Oh no! Is the baby ok?

Doctor: Yes everything is fine, you had twins! A boy and a girl. And your brother got to name them :)

Woman: Nooo my brother is an idiot! What did he name them??

Doctor: He named the girl Deniece.

Woman: Oh.. That's actually not a bad name. Maybe my brother isn't an idiot after all. What did he name the boy?

Doctor: ...Denephew.

Vladimir Putin visits a school...

He asks a boy: "Who is your true mother?". "Mother Russia of course!", says the boy. Putin then asks a girl: "who is your true father?". "You, great president!", replies the girl. Putin then asks the quiet kid sitting at the back: "You there, what do you want to be when you grow up?". The quiet kid thinks for a moment and says: "An orphan!".

"Craig, I caught your son playing 'doctor' with my daughter!"

"Oh lord, that kid. My boy didn't do anything inappropriate, did he?"

"I'll say! The co-pay he charged was outrageous!"

A Rabbi and his friend, a Catholic priest, were having a discussion

when the rabbi asked "Could you ever be promoted withing your church?"

The priest responded, "Well, one day, I hope to become a bishop."

The rabbi asked, "And then?"

The priest though for a second and responded, "Well, then I might become a cardinal."

The rabbi again asked, "And then?"

The priest again pondered the question before responding "Then I would become Pope!"

The rabbi, still unsatisfied, asked "And then?"

The priest, exasperated, cried "What else could I become? God Himself!?"

The rabbi quietly responded "One of our boys made it"

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the about a boy whys jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working about a boy vietnam piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

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