Abortion Jokes

Following is our collection of pregnancies humor and contraceptive one-liner funnies working better than reddit jokes. They include Abortion puns for adults, dirty surrogate jokes or clean antiabortion gags for kids.

There is an abundance of deletus jokes out there. You're fortunate to read a set of the 53 funniest jokes on abortion. Full with funny wisecracks it is even funnier than any spawn witze you can hear about abortion.

The Best jokes about Abortion

Daughter: "Hey dad, how do you feel about abortion?"

Father: "Ask your sister.

Daughter: "I don't have a si-"

I accidentally locked my keys in my car in front of an abortion clinic...

They gave me the dirtiest look when I went in and asked to borrow a coathanger.

Abortions are so fun

It really brings out the kid in you

Pro Life Tip

Don't get an abortion.

I locked my keys in my car outside an abortion clinic

They get really angry if you go in and ask for a coat hanger

I'm really conflicted about abortion.

I support killing babies, but I don't support giving women a choice.

With the right delivery, any joke can be funny. Except abortion jokes.

Because there is no delivery.

What is the worst part about locking your keys inside your car outside an abortion clinic?

Having to go inside and asking for a coat hanger.

What do you call a cow that gets an abortion?


What do you call a abortion in Czechoslovakia?

A cancelled check.

Do you believe in abortion?

Girl: Dad, do you believe in abortion?

Father: Ask your sister.

Girl: I don't have a sister...

Father: Exactly.

I'm not sure about my stand on the abortion issue....

On one side, I love to kill babies but on the other side, I hate to give women a choice.

What did the conservatives say to the abortion rights supporters?

You'll never de-fetus.

I finally found out what they call the vacuum at the abortion clinic


I'm undecided about abortion

on one side it's killing babies and I'm all for that, but it gives women a choice. Do we really want that?

I asked my GF, "Why do abortion jokes made you laugh so much?"

She said, "because they bring out the kid in me."

Abortion clinics should be banned

Those doctors demonstrate a complete lack of humanity. Spawn killing is a filthy tactic.

What's worse than locking your keys in your car at the abortion clinic?

When you have to go back in and ask for a coat hanger.

If abortion is murder

Is jerking off genocide?

Abortion bill

Trump is sitting in the oval office when mike pence walks in. Pence says, here's the abortion bill you just need to sign it Mr. President

Trump replies "I thought Michael cohen paid for that"

What do you call a failed abortion?

Survival of the fetus

What are your views on abortion?

I'm undecided.
On one hand, I like killing babies, on the other, I don't like giving women a choice.

They say the average high school prom goer now spends $1000 on prom

Or $2000 if you count the abortion.

Best lines when dealing with telemarketers

Some of the better ones

* City Morgue, you stab 'em, we slab 'em
* Mario's Pizzaria and Abortion Clinic, your loss is our sauce, may I take your order?
* Roadkill Cafe, you kill it, we grill it
* Mort's Mortuary, you slice 'em, we ice 'em
* Bob's Back Alley Abortion Parlour, you rape 'em, we scrape 'em, no fetus can beat us

Anyone have more?

I'm have mixed feelings about abortion.

On one hand, I love killing babies, on the other I hate giving women rights.

I'm going to start an abortion clinic...

...called "Don't Kid Yourself."

Abortion is

The most effective form of spawn camping

I thought of a great name for an abortion clinic...

How about 'Birth Ctrl+Z' ?

The line "Do you come here often?"

Has a zero percent success rate at the abortion clinic.

Y'know what really brings out the inner child in you?



Abortion doctors are also called spawn campers

I find abortion to be a difficult topic.

On one hand, i am for killing babies. But on the other hand, i don't want to give woman any more rights.

Look, anything is funny with the right delivery.

Except abortion jokes, which by definition have no delivery.

What do you call a cow that had an abortion....

Decalfeinated. Thank you, I'll show myself out now.

I'm so torn on abortion...

On one hand, it kills babies, which I'm for. On the other hand, it gives women a choice, which I'm against.

Mao Zedong once said that there are only two genders.

Male and abortion.

Abortion jokes are never funny.

So if you accidentally start forming one, you should terminate it before it comes to fruition.

A girl walks into a "no questions asked" abortion clinic.

The nurse says, "How can I help you?"

Girl says, "LYING BASTARDS!" and leaves.

What's the worst thing about accidentally locking your keys in your car outside an abortion clinic?

Having to go in and ask for a coat hanger.

"Dad, what do you think about abortion?"

--Ask your sister

--But I don't have a sis...

What do they call an abortion in Hogwarts?

*fetus, deletus!*

^It's ^my ^first ^time ^posting ^here. ^Tell ^me ^if ^I ^did ^something ^wrong ^or ^if ^this ^is ^the ^wrong ^sub...

^And ^yes, ^I ^am ^a ^Muggle.

What do you call the winner of the beauty pageant for teenagers who've had an abortion?

Little miss conception

I asked my mom to tell me her best joke.

She looked me straight in the eyes and said "I'm so glad I didn't get an abortion"

If contraception is birth control...

... abortion is birth control-alt-delete.

Best way to answer a call: Mario's Pizzeria and Abortion Clinic: Your Loss is Our Sauce


[NSFW] What's the worst thing about...?

....getting your keys locked in your car outside an abortion clinic?

Having to go in to ask for a coat hanger.

*Yet another Australian pub joke*

Recently, I was watching the Republican debate, and they were debating abortion.

Donald Trump was talking about how opposed to it he was, but I thought to myself, come on Don, you're a businessman. I bet you wouldn't be this upset if you could charge them an early termination fee.

My pregnant girlfriend is tired of me joking about giving her an abortion...

So I told her I'd cut it out.

What would a video game about an abortion nurse be called?

Womb raider

Isn't it just a little ironic to see a group of pro-lifers

throwing eggs at an abortion clinic?

Pregnancy Cravings...

My parents were recently discussing my pregnant cousin, who has been craving ice cream throughout here pregnancy, so I thought I'd ask my mother what she craved through her pregnancy.

"An abortion" wasn't the answer I was expecting.

I dont know where I stand on abortion

I like killing babies but don't like giving women a choice

Abortion jokes aren't funny.

They don't have a delivery

Use only working piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Note that dirty and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. You can seriously offend people by saying creepy dark humor words to them.

Joko Jokes