Howlingly Hilarious Abort Jokes for an Unforgettable Evening
Abortions are like stains in my carpet.
You don't want them to be seen, and you pay somebody to vacuum them out.
Abortion - it really brings out the child in you.
Anyone got any similar puns?
Also:
- 9/11 jokes are just plane rude.
Do you believe in abortion?
Girl: Dad, do you believe in abortion?
Father: Ask your sister.
Girl: I don't have a sister...
Father: Exactly.
abortion bill
President Bush is sitting in the oval office when a secretary comes in and hands him a slip of paper. Bush asks what it is, and the secretary replies "it's the abortion bill. What do you want to do with it?" "Just go ahead and pay it".
A right-wing law firm is trying to overturn Roe v Wade.
They find their test plaintiff, a man whose daughter had gotten an abortion after he forbade it. The firm sues the doctors, and the appeals go all the way to the Supreme Court, exactly as intended. The Court even agrees to hear the case ... only to uphold Roe v Wade, 5 - 4.
All in all, it was a classic case of abort, retry, fail.
Why don't abortion clinics have back doors?
If only their clients knew what the back door was for...
Abortions........
Really s**... the life outta you
Why do abortion clinics make bad OP's?
... because they don't deliver...
ABORTION BILL
A congressional aide asks a politician, "What are we going to do about the new abortion bill?"
The politician replied, "Shhhhh -- just pay it."
I failed to stop a suicidal Catholic guy from blowing himself up.
"Abort, abort abort", I shouted.
Abortion jokes are never funny.
So if you accidentally start forming one, you should terminate it before it comes to fruition.
You can explore abort terminate reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean abort bort dad jokes. There are also abort puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
Abortions are so fun
It really brings out the kid in you
With all these abortion jokes lately, I've realized I'm pretty torn on the whole issue...
I mean, killing babies is great and all, but I'm just really not that comfortable with letting women choose for themselves.
My parents tried to abort me
but I was still born.
What did the Swedish chef say to his girlfriend when he found out she was pregnant?
Abort - Bort - Bort!
Mario's abortion clinic
Don't kid your self
I'd really, really love to adopt a kid some day.
Abort*
Sorry, I hate auto correct.
Pregnancy is like a black ops mission
They're both expensive to abort.
Abortion humor everybody: Texas (and Indiana) tried to pass law that said miscarriages/abortions had to have burials. Listen to what that plan sounds like:
Flush.
Abortion...
can be a real out of body experience!
A republican's dilemna
If you could abort Obama, would you?
Abortion
KID: Dad, can you tell me something about abortion?
FATHER:Why dont you ask your older sister?
KID: But i dont have sibblings
Abortion clinics should be banned
Those doctors demonstrate a complete lack of humanity. Spawn killing is a filthy tactic.
I'm not sure what the best response to my wife telling me "we're having quadruplets" is....
But apparently "How many of them should we abort?" wasn't it.
Women.
(Joke credit to me)
I'll take a curtsy and show myself out.
If abortion is m**...
Is jerking off genocide?
Abort a baby at 1 month, nobody cares.
Abort it at 24 months, suddenly you're a monster.
So what's your take on abortion?
Well, on one hand I love killing babies, but on the other I really hate women's rights.
Why are abortions so expensive
Because they're worth it.
Abortion is
The most effective form of spawn camping
When it comes to abortion
there are many misconceptions
Make like a baby and
Abort
How's an abortion like an ex-wife?
Neither one's my problem anymore.
I'm not sure about abortion....
I mean I'm all for killing babies, but giving women a choice worries me.
when protesters are about to surround a Planned Parenthood and the cops show up
do you think they yell "Abort! Abort!"
Abortion is a difficult topic for me...
On one hand I support it because it kills children
On the other hand it gives women a choice
What do abortionists eat for breakfast?
Eggs.
Abortion is a difficult subject for me
Because on the positive side it kills kids, but on the negative side, it gives woman a choice
My gf got an abortion today
And you know what? Being a dad is dead easy right now.
Abortion bill
Trump is sitting in the oval office when mike pence walks in. Pence says, here's the abortion bill you just need to sign it Mr. President
Trump replies "I thought Michael cohen paid for that"
What does an abortion doctor bring to a barbecue?
Baby backs.
Abortion
Really brings out the kid in you!
While Abortion and Adoption are very different things,
You can't deny that they are both great way of getting rid of children.
Abortion jokes aren't funny.
They don't have a delivery
I was going to tell a dead baby joke
But I decided to abort
Abortion isn't m**...
It's cancelling a pre-order
Austria declares war on China:
„We have 200 soldiers and 3 Tanks
China accepst: „We have 4 Million Soldiers, a Million Tanks an a couple hundred nuclear warheads
Austria replies:„We abort the declaration, we can't provide enough accomodations for the war prisoners
I got on a plane the other day. As we were about to depart, a pro-life group ran out on the runway in protest.
Ironically, the pilot had to abort the takeoff.
Which brings a question to mind…. When does flight truly begin? Boarding? Taxiing? Takeoff? Some would have you believe it's not a flight yet even during final descent.
Abortion is not a joke!
Stop kidding yourself
Did you hear about the US Air Forces accidental missile strike?
They took off on the mission and then couldn't abort!
(A new addition) What's the difference between an American and a computer?
A computer has troubleshooting.
Also,
it can abort.
Q. What do you call an abortion in Spanish?
A. Adios Em-bryos.
