Abort Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Abort jokes. There are some abort pregnancies jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these abort cancel puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Howlingly Hilarious Abort Jokes for an Unforgettable Evening

Abortions are like stains in my carpet.

You don't want them to be seen, and you pay somebody to vacuum them out.

Abortion - it really brings out the child in you.

Anyone got any similar puns?

- 9/11 jokes are just plane rude.

Do you believe in abortion?

Girl: Dad, do you believe in abortion?

Father: Ask your sister.

Girl: I don't have a sister...

Father: Exactly.

abortion bill

President Bush is sitting in the oval office when a secretary comes in and hands him a slip of paper. Bush asks what it is, and the secretary replies "it's the abortion bill. What do you want to do with it?" "Just go ahead and pay it".

jokes about abort

A right-wing law firm is trying to overturn Roe v Wade.

They find their test plaintiff, a man whose daughter had gotten an abortion after he forbade it. The firm sues the doctors, and the appeals go all the way to the Supreme Court, exactly as intended. The Court even agrees to hear the case ... only to uphold Roe v Wade, 5 - 4.

All in all, it was a classic case of abort, retry, fail.

Why don't abortion clinics have back doors?

If only their clients knew what the back door was for...


Really suck the life outta you

Abort joke, Abortions........


A congressional aide asks a politician, "What are we going to do about the new abortion bill?"
The politician replied, "Shhhhh -- just pay it."

I failed to stop a suicidal Catholic guy from blowing himself up.

"Abort, abort abort", I shouted.

Abortion jokes are never funny.

So if you accidentally start forming one, you should terminate it before it comes to fruition.

Abortions are so fun

It really brings out the kid in you

You can explore abort terminate reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean abort bort dad jokes. There are also abort puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.

With all these abortion jokes lately, I've realized I'm pretty torn on the whole issue...

I mean, killing babies is great and all, but I'm just really not that comfortable with letting women choose for themselves.

My parents tried to abort me

but I was still born.

What did the Swedish chef say to his girlfriend when he found out she was pregnant?

Abort - Bort - Bort!

Mario's abortion clinic

Don't kid your self

How do you make a baby sad?

Abort them.

Abort joke, How do you make a baby sad?

I'd really, really love to adopt a kid some day.

Sorry, I hate auto correct.

Pregnancy is like a black ops mission

They're both expensive to abort.

Abortion humor everybody: Texas (and Indiana) tried to pass law that said miscarriages/abortions had to have burials. Listen to what that plan sounds like:


What did the mom say when she found out her son was going to be a evil spy?

Abort mission!


can be a real out of body experience!

A republican's dilemna

If you could abort Obama, would you?


KID: Dad, can you tell me something about abortion?
FATHER:Why dont you ask your older sister?
KID: But i dont have sibblings

Abortion clinics should be banned

Those doctors demonstrate a complete lack of humanity. Spawn killing is a filthy tactic.

I'm not sure what the best response to my wife telling me "we're having quadruplets" is....

But apparently "How many of them should we abort?" wasn't it.


(Joke credit to me)

I'll take a curtsy and show myself out.

If abortion is murder

Is jerking off genocide?

Abort joke, If abortion is murder

Abort a baby at 1 month, nobody cares.

Abort it at 24 months, suddenly you're a monster.

So what's your take on abortion?

Well, on one hand I love killing babies, but on the other I really hate women's rights.

Why are abortions so expensive

Because they're worth it.

Abortion is

The most effective form of spawn camping

When it comes to abortion

there are many misconceptions

Make like a baby and


How's an abortion like an ex-wife?

Neither one's my problem anymore.

I'm not sure about abortion....

I mean I'm all for killing babies, but giving women a choice worries me.

when protesters are about to surround a Planned Parenthood and the cops show up

do you think they yell "Abort! Abort!"

Abortion is a difficult topic for me...

On one hand I support it because it kills children

On the other hand it gives women a choice

What do abortionists eat for breakfast?


Abortion is a difficult subject for me

Because on the positive side it kills kids, but on the negative side, it gives woman a choice

My gf got an abortion today

And you know what? Being a dad is dead easy right now.

Abortion bill

Trump is sitting in the oval office when mike pence walks in. Pence says, here's the abortion bill you just need to sign it Mr. President

Trump replies "I thought Michael cohen paid for that"

What does an abortion doctor bring to a barbecue?

Baby backs.


Really brings out the kid in you!

While Abortion and Adoption are very different things,

You can't deny that they are both great way of getting rid of children.

Abortion jokes aren't funny.

They don't have a delivery

I was going to tell a dead baby joke

But I decided to abort

Abortion isn't murder

It's cancelling a pre-order

Austria declares war on China:

β€žWe have 200 soldiers and 3 Tanks

China accepst: β€žWe have 4 Million Soldiers, a Million Tanks an a couple hundred nuclear warheads

Austria replies:β€žWe abort the declaration, we can't provide enough accomodations for the war prisoners

I got on a plane the other day. As we were about to depart, a pro-life group ran out on the runway in protest.

Ironically, the pilot had to abort the takeoff.

Which brings a question to mind…. When does flight truly begin? Boarding? Taxiing? Takeoff? Some would have you believe it's not a flight yet even during final descent.

Abortion is not a joke!

Stop kidding yourself

Did you hear about the US Air Forces accidental missile strike?

They took off on the mission and then couldn't abort!

(A new addition) What's the difference between an American and a computer?

A computer has troubleshooting.


it can abort.

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the abort propose puns are supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working abort vaccinations piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes