Abort Jokes

Following is our collection of terminate humor and pregnancies one-liner funnies working better than reddit jokes. They include Abort puns for adults, dirty bort jokes or clean cancel gags for kids.

There is an abundance of propose jokes out there. You're fortunate to read a set of the 48 funniest jokes on abort. Full with funny wisecracks it is even funnier than any vaccinations witze you can hear about abort.

The Best jokes about Abort

Abortions are so fun

It really brings out the kid in you

Do you believe in abortion?

Girl: Dad, do you believe in abortion?

Father: Ask your sister.

Girl: I don't have a sister...

Father: Exactly.

Abortion clinics should be banned

Those doctors demonstrate a complete lack of humanity. Spawn killing is a filthy tactic.

If abortion is murder

Is jerking off genocide?

Abortion bill

Trump is sitting in the oval office when mike pence walks in. Pence says, here's the abortion bill you just need to sign it Mr. President

Trump replies "I thought Michael cohen paid for that"

Abortion is

The most effective form of spawn camping

Abortion jokes are never funny.

So if you accidentally start forming one, you should terminate it before it comes to fruition.

I'm not sure what the best response to my wife telling me "we're having quadruplets" is....

But apparently "How many of them should we abort?" wasn't it.


(Joke credit to me)

I'll take a curtsy and show myself out.

Abortion jokes aren't funny.

They don't have a delivery


A congressional aide asks a politician, "What are we going to do about the new abortion bill?"
The politician replied, "Shhhhh -- just pay it."

Austria declares war on China:

„We have 200 soldiers and 3 Tanks

China accepst: „We have 4 Million Soldiers, a Million Tanks an a couple hundred nuclear warheads

Austria replies:„We abort the declaration, we can't provide enough accomodations for the war prisoners

Pregnancy is like a black ops mission

They're both expensive to abort.

Abortion isn't murder

It's cancelling a pre-order

Abortion - it really brings out the child in you.

Anyone got any similar puns?

- 9/11 jokes are just plane rude.

Abort a baby at 1 month, nobody cares.

Abort it at 24 months, suddenly you're a monster.

Abortions are like stains in my carpet.

You don't want them to be seen, and you pay somebody to vacuum them out.

So what's your take on abortion?

Well, on one hand I love killing babies, but on the other I really hate women's rights.

Abortion is a difficult topic for me...

On one hand I support it because it kills children

On the other hand it gives women a choice

When it comes to abortion

there are many misconceptions

abortion bill

President Bush is sitting in the oval office when a secretary comes in and hands him a slip of paper. Bush asks what it is, and the secretary replies "it's the abortion bill. What do you want to do with it?" "Just go ahead and pay it".

Why don't abortion clinics have back doors?

If only their clients knew what the back door was for...

I'm not sure about abortion....

I mean I'm all for killing babies, but giving women a choice worries me.

My gf got an abortion today

And you know what? Being a dad is dead easy right now.

Abortion is a difficult subject for me

Because on the positive side it kills kids, but on the negative side, it gives woman a choice

What did the Swedish chef say to his girlfriend when he found out she was pregnant?

Abort - Bort - Bort!


Really suck the life outta you


Really brings out the kid in you!

I was going to tell a dead baby joke

But I decided to abort

Make like a baby and



can be a real out of body experience!

A right-wing law firm is trying to overturn Roe v Wade.

They find their test plaintiff, a man whose daughter had gotten an abortion after he forbade it. The firm sues the doctors, and the appeals go all the way to the Supreme Court, exactly as intended. The Court even agrees to hear the case ... only to uphold Roe v Wade, 5 - 4.

All in all, it was a classic case of abort, retry, fail.

What does an abortion doctor bring to a barbecue?

Baby backs.

With all these abortion jokes lately, I've realized I'm pretty torn on the whole issue...

I mean, killing babies is great and all, but I'm just really not that comfortable with letting women choose for themselves.

I'd really, really love to adopt a kid some day.

Sorry, I hate auto correct.

Abortion humor everybody: Texas (and Indiana) tried to pass law that said miscarriages/abortions had to have burials. Listen to what that plan sounds like:


Why are abortions so expensive

Because they're worth it.

My parents tried to abort me

but I was still born.

when protesters are about to surround a Planned Parenthood and the cops show up

do you think they yell "Abort! Abort!"


KID: Dad, can you tell me something about abortion?
FATHER:Why dont you ask your older sister?
KID: But i dont have sibblings

A republican's dilemna

If you could abort Obama, would you?

How's an abortion like an ex-wife?

Neither one's my problem anymore.

While Abortion and Adoption are very different things,

You can't deny that they are both great way of getting rid of children.

I tried to make an abortion joke the other day.

But I couldn't commit and had to abort.

Why do abortion clinics make bad OP's?

... because they don't deliver...

What's an abortion doctor's favorite video game?

Womb Raider

I failed to stop a suicidal Catholic guy from blowing himself up.

"Abort, abort abort", I shouted.

Mario's abortion clinic

Don't kid your self

Why does the GOP keep trying to pass a healthcare bill?

They don't want to abort the mission.

Use only working piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Note that dirty and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. You can seriously offend people by saying creepy dark humor words to them.

Joko Jokes