Experience Instant Grins & Giggles with Playful Aboard Jokes
Aboard a train a man turns to a woman and asks "would you sleep with me for a million dollars?"
...She thinks about it and decides that she would. "Would you do it for $10?" he asks. "Ugh, no!" she replies. "What do you take me for?"--"I Thought we already established that and now we are haggling for the price."
Three guys are aboard a jet as it's about to c**... and there are only two parachutes...
The first guy has the parachutes and gives both of them to the others, the second guy says thank you and jumps. The third guy before jumping asks "Wow, why would you do such a thing, why not save your own life?". The first guy then looks at him and says, "What are you crazy, I gave the second guy an empty backpack".
My wife asked me "If you had a loaded gun, and you saw 2 busses that were going to collide and you could save one by shooting the driver of the other (killing everyone aboard) one bus loaded with children, the other loaded with my parents and relatives, who would you save?"
I told her "That's a loaded question"
TIL that in 1940 a German U-Boat captain found himself aboard a British vessel.
Whoops, wrong sub.
To smell good while aboard the ISS, astronauts wear ...
Old Space.
Two aliens are talking aboard their ship
Alien 1: Did the humans get our message?
Alien 2: Yes, but they named it dubstep and are dancing to it
Alien 1: Idiots
TIL a Jew killed the people aboard the Titanic
It was an Iceberg
A plane was going down
and there were 4 people aboard: The president, the smartest man in the world, an old man, and a little girl. However, there were only 3 parachutes. The president said, "I'm too important to die," and took a parachute and jumped. The smartest man in the world said, "other people will need my smarts," and he also jumped off. The old man said,"you can go, my life is almost over anyway." The girl said," no, we can both go. The smartest man in the world took my Dora backpack."
Why was Obama nervous when eating a T-bone aboard Air Force One?
Because the steaks had never been higher.
Someone snuck aboard the Death Star and stabbed Darth Vader with a lightsaber.
It was a space in Vader.
Noah and the Two Snakes.
Noah, after settling his ship down and letting loose the animals aboard his Ark unto the world, noticed a pair of snakes that were left behind.
"Well, what are you guys still doing here?" Asked Noah.
"Remember how you said 'go forth and multiply' ?" One of the snakes replied.
"Yes..." Noah responded, looking deeply confused.
"We can't, we're adders."
You can explore aboard naval reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean aboard all aboard dad jokes. There are also aboard puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
A bunch of astronauts had an o**... aboard the International Space Station.
I heard it was out of this world!
A massive rabbit aboard a United Airlines flight turns to the passenger sitting next to him and says
"Ehhh, what's up Doc?"
An old man was piloting a small plane with his wife and kids aboard as a powerful storm raged.
Don't fret so much, he said to them as they were filled with fear. If anything should happen to me, I've provided for all of you very generously in my will.
I was abducted a few years ago. I was taken aboard a ship
where they made me brush my teeth three times a day, wash behind my ears and eat all my greens I think I was on the mothership.
What job did the ex-therapist do aboard the ship?
Anchor Management.
45000 feet above the Atlantic, the aircraft engine fails
And the captain declares an emergency. Everyone aboard the plane was scared shitless. A passenger sitting next to the pastor loses it and screams, 'Don't just sit there, do something religious!'.
The pastor promptly took up a collection.....
Dyslexic Dave had a little too much to drink and decided to take public transit home. As he boarded, the driver said Welcome aboard the Main Street Express...
.... whoops, sorry, wrong bus.
Argentina's missing submarine found a year after it vanished with 44 aboard.
Whoops, wrong sub.
Two astronauts aboard the space station are talking.
The first one says "Is there no one who can get me milk for my coffee?" The second one says "In space, no one can. Here, use cream."
Two pirates were aboard the Queen Anne's Revenge discussing the upcoming pirate captain's election
One says to the other: "Arrr matey, I'll give ye my clear glass eye if ye give me yer vote for captain tomorrow."
The other considers the proposal for a moment, then squeezes his fake wooden eye out of its socket, throws it overboard, spits on his hand and offers it to the first pirate.
"Arrr, an Aye for an eye it is, then."
A blonde and a brunette are riding in an elevator...
At one point, a man steps aboard with dandruff all over his suit. He gets off a few floors later and the brunette turns to the blonde and whispers-
Now THAT'S a guy who could really use some Head & Shoulders!
The blonde looks perplexed:
How do you give somebody shoulders?
What did Bugs Bunny say after beaming aboard the Enterprise?
What's up Spock?
An Australian is aboard the wrong airplane
The flight attendant approaches them and says I'm so sorry. I'm not sure how this mix-up happened but this plane is arriving in an entirely different country than your intended destination.
The Australian says No way.
The flight attendant replies Sweden, actually.
BREAKING: Russia has struck its own submarine with an underwater torpedo in the Black Sea, killing all 69 aboard
Whoops wrong sub
23% of the crew aboard Christopher Columbus' ship Santa Maria were named Juan
That's almost a three to Juan ratio.
Really enjoying my new life aboard the giant space station designed to solve Earth's overpopulation problem .
Just a bit weird how the sun gets slightly bigger in my cabin window every day.
What do you call a snail aboard a ship?
A snailor.
