Ability To Tell Jokes
13 ability to tell jokes and hilarious ability to tell puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about ability to tell that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Funniest Ability To Tell Short Jokes
Short ability to tell jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The ability to tell humour may include short tell tale jokes also.
- My wife has a sinus condition that suppresses her ability to detect odors But she gets offended when I tell people that she doesn't smell good.
- My friend has a unique ability; he can always tell if there are lions near by. He's got a great sense of pride.
- If dogs had the ability to speak to humans We still would have no idea what Scottish Terriers would be trying to tell us.
- People keep telling me the fact I lost my ability to smell could be due to Corona and I should get tested. That's nonsense, I think it's due to the frequent washing.
- What would a skeptic say if you were to tell them that you had a supernatural ability to detect Indian bread? Naansense!
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Ability To Tell One Liners
Which ability to tell one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with ability to tell? I can suggest the ones about distinguish and ability.
- That band has the unique ability to tell jokes about flowers. They're the Puns N' Roses.
Ability To Tell Funny Jokes And Hilarious Puns.
What funny jokes about ability to tell you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean noticing jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make ability to tell pranks.
A man goes to his doctor for an annual checkup
"Doc, I feel great, my headaches are gone, my hearing is better and I can finally stand uo straight."
"That's good to hear, here your test results say that your body has miraculously improved. For a 50 year old man like you, you have the physical abilities of a 30 year old."
"Thanks doc."
"Tell me, how did you make such a recovery."
"My wife's been giving me the silent treatment for a month"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Terms & Conditions
The zoo acquired a female of a very rare species of gorilla.
Within a few weeks, the gorilla became very difficult to handle.
Upon examination, the zoo vet found the female gorilla was on heat and there was no male of the species.
The zoo management discovered that one of their staff
possessed ample ability to satisfy a female of any species.
So the zoo approached him with a proposition, Would he be willing to have s**... with the gorilla for Rs. 50,000?
He showed some interest but said he would have to think.
The next day he announced that he would accept their offer,
but under three conditions:
1. You won't make a video recording,
2. You must never tell anyone about this.
3. I will need at least one week to arrange the money
A few days before Christmas, a man enters a pet store looking for a unique gift for his wife.
The store manager tells him he has just what he's looking for! A beautiful parrot named Chet that sings Christmas carols. He brings the husband over to a colorful but quiet bird.
The man agrees that Chet certainly is pretty, but he doesn't seem to be much for singing. The manager tells him to watch as he reaches into his pocket and pulls out a lighter.
The manager then clicks the lighter and holds it under Chet's left foot. Immediately Chet starts singing; "Silent Night, Holy Night."
The husband is very impressed with Chet's singing abilities and watches as the manager moves the lighter underneath Chet's right foot. Chet now starts to sing "Jingle Bells, Jingle All the Way."
The husband says Chet is perfect and that he'll take him. He rushes home to his wife and insists upon giving her this wonderful gift immediately. He presents Chet and starts to explain the parrot's special talent.
Demonstrating, he holds a lighter under Chet's left foot and the bird sings "Silent Night." He then moves the lighter under the right foot and Chet lets loose a round of "Jingle Bells."
The wife is absolutely impressed, and with a mischievous grin asks her husband what happens if he holds the lighter between Chet's legs instead.
Curious the husband moves the lighter between the bird's legs, and the bird begins to sing "Chet's nuts Roasting on an Open Fire!"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Uncles f**... tomorrow- his fave joke
Tomorrow morning is my Uncle/Godfather's f**.... In honor of him I present to you his favorite joke, one I heard multiple times a week until he lost the ability to speak about ten years ago. *this is to the best of my memory*
This guy dies and goes to heaven, when he gets to the Pearly Gates, St peter checks the list and tells him he can enter. The guy asks St Peter if he has everyone that will be going to heaven on that list. St Peter answers 'yes'. He then asks St Peter if his brothers and sisters are on the list, to which St Peter replies 'yes' as well. So the guy asks St Peter if he enjoys spending his time outside the gates of Heaven. St Peter tells him 'No, but somebody has to inform people if they are getting into Heaven or not.' So they guy tells St Peter, 'instead of standing at the Pearly Gates waiting to let people know if they're going to Heaven why don't you just send everybody a letter?' St Peter likes that idea and sends the letter to the guys brothers and sisters and everybody on the list. When they got that letter they opened it up, and do you know what that letter said?.......No? I didn't get one either.
A doctor from the inner city was conversing with an old friend from med school at a cafe when he said, "Man, can I tell you something?"
His friend nods. "Sure."
"Okay, so the other day I had this one really hot, foreign patient, and I haven't been able to stop thinking about her since..."
He goes on to tell his friend everything about her, from her long blond hair and ability to speak fluent French, to her shimmering blue eyes and soft skin.
His friend seemed more disgusted with each passing moment.
"Dude, that is not cool."
The doctor, indignant, defended himself.
"What's wrong with that? Lots of doctors are attracted to their patients."
His friend simply shook his head and replied, "Maybe, but I guarantee you none of those doctors were pediatricians..."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
An American goes to the train station so he can start his big trip.
He notices there a machine with the indication: "Put A Dollar in the Slot and the Machine will Tell you who you are!"
Curious, he puts the dollar inside the slot and he waits.
The machine suddenly sounds;
"You're John Bull from New York, an Accountant, 5.9 feet tall and 90 kilos. You're about to take the 2.30 train to Chicago."
The man blacked out with the machine's ability.
So, he decided to trick the machine.
He wore a fake mustache and putted another dollar inside the slot.
"You're John Bull from New York, an Accountant, 5.9 feet tall and 90 kilos. You're about to take the 2.30 train to Chicago," says the machine.
"But it's impossible!" screamed the man, acquiring a maniac need to trick the machine.
He ran to the toilet and disguised as an Arab.
Then, he did the same routine.
"You're John Bull from New York, an Accountant, 5.9 feet tall and 90 kilos. You're about to take the 2.30 train to Chicago."
Furious then, he disguises as a woman and puts the dollar as usual in the slot.
-You're John Bull, an Accountant, 5.9 feet tall, 90 kilos and with your b**... you.. lost the train!