The Best 67 Ability Jokes

Following is our collection of Ability jokes which are very funny. There are some ability flexibility jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud. Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these ability comfort puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Funny Ability Jokes and Puns

Why is spiderman so good at comebacks?

Because with great power comes great response ability.

A man asks an atheist if he had the ability to choose, which fictional character would he be

The atheist replied with " God "

Did you hear about the transformer who lost his ability to change into a seven-sided shape?

He's a de-septagon.

Post Jokes About Americans

As an American, I've heard a lot about other countries. I recently heard one about Americans and it's got me wondering what else is out there. The Joke:

An American walks into a London pub.

A local notices and says, "Oi, look! An American! You know, if there's one thing I like about you Americans, it's your ability to appreciate irony!"

To which the American says, "Hey, thanks!"

The Chinese have successfully tested their new Stealth Drones.

Not only will they be used in Recon and Combat missions but they will have the ability to drop vital equipment onto the battlefield.

They will have the element of supplies.


In the window of a bar in Philadelphia

Drop a bucket of Starbuck's Iced Coffee on your head to raise awareness of the rich city girls who have lost their ability to even.

50% of being a lawyer is the ability to use latin phrases that people don't understand

the other 50% is *ad hoc ergo propter hoc*

My father thinks himself an expert at cutting through busy sidewalks.

I consider his ability rather pedestrian.

What do you call a Mexican melon?

A cantelopez!

Came up with this on all by myself. I'm a new Dad, so I feel as if I've significantly leveled up my Dad Joke ability.

A famous armorer was called to court...

…to demonstrate his new plate design. He set it on a stand in the middle of a grand gallery. The king called in his executioner, a dour and muscular man who prided himself in his ability to slice folk exactly in half, to strike the suit. With a sonorous clang! the executioner's heavy sword bounced off of the chest piece. Frustrated, he pointed an accusatory finger at the armorer and cried This is why we can't halve nice things!

The devil and a lawyer are having a conversation

The devil says, "I will give you the ability to win every case you get, in exchange for your soul." The lawyer replies, "Okay, what's the catch?"

You can explore ability uncanny reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean ability mutation dad jokes. There are also ability puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


Job interview for a circus

A man is having a job interview for a circus. The interviewer asks: "What's your ability?"

"I can imitate birds"

"Look, I'm sorry but this is not the kind of things we are looking for"

The guy answers: "Fine, fine, thanks anyway", then he opens the window and flies away.

Had a vasectomy, was told it would stop my ability to have kids...

Apparently it just makes them change colors.

What would be the most useless superpower?

How about the ability to go invisible, but it only works while you're playing a trumpet.

The mountain gazelle is said to have the ability to jump higher than the average house

Considering houses don't jump

To test my ability to emphasthize I tried to force myself to empathize with Brock Turner

But if I learned anything from him it's that some things should never be forced

A Recent Study Found That...

...Christian women tend to become atheists after marriage. I don't find that surprising. After marriage, a woman does lose faith in a man's ability to come a second time.

My dad's joke.

'Did you know there were Female hormones in beer?'

Because, if you start drinking too much.
You don't have the ability to drive, and you get fat.

I asked a genie for the ability to shoot microwaves from my hands...

Clunk. These are heavy.


Some scientists believe the ability to create language was because we ate so much meat as primates.

That's why vegans can only say "i'm vegan".

I think there are female hormones in beer

Because, if you start drinking to much you start to get fat and you lose the ability to drive.

There are 2 types of people in this world

Those with the ability to extrapolate information from incomplete data

Making fun of a short's person height is cruel and requires no ability...

... one could even say it's the lowest form of humour.

If dogs had the ability to speak to humans

We still would have no idea what Scottish Terriers would be trying to tell us.

They say a man's attractiveness is tied to his chess ability...

Unfortunately, I'm really bad at mating.

I have an amazing ability, I find objects just before people lose them.

The police however call it theft.

My newborn nephew entered the world with the innate ability to dance. They ran tests and found that he got the ability by being born with an extra chromosome. The doctors are calling it...

"Get down syndrome"

Doubting wife!

My wife has absolutely no confidence in my ability to repair electrical items around the house.

Well, she's in for a shock!

My policy for a good, healthy sexual relationship is this: "From each according to their ability; to each according to their needs."

Or as I like to call it, Cummunism.

Would you like the ability to read minds?

Mind mind mind mind mind mind mind mind mind mind

A young first officer asks his Captain

A young first officer asks his Captain,
"Sir, why does not my ability evolve. I don't seem to be getting better at flying?"

And the Captain patiently answers: "Son, have you seen the gulls flying by the setting sun, and their wings seem like flames?"

"Yes, my sir, I have."

"And a waterfall, spilling mightly over the stones but without taking anything out of its proper place?"

"Yes, sir, I have already witnessed it."

"Then the moon .. when it touches the calm water reflecting all its enormous beauty?"

"Yes, sir, I have also observed this marvelous phenomenon."

"That is the problem. You keep watching all these stupid things instead of focusing on flying the aircraft."

I like my women like I like my computer data,

with the ability to back it up.

A man rubs a bottle and a genie comes out,

The genie says to the man, "I will grant you one wish however, it must be within reason" The man thinks for a second and says "I want a dragon!" the genie replies "Are you mad? I said within reason!" Again the man thinks and finally speaks. "I wish for the ability to plug a USB cable in right every time." The genie thinks, then says,

What color do you want your dragon?

Today's Horoscope:

"You are easily influenced by what you read and have the ability to make vague sentences somehow applicable to your own existence."

So John Kelly claims that the lack of an ability to compromise led to the Civil War...

I wouldn't say that's 100% accurate, but at least 3/5ths.

When people find out I work in a food tinning factory they always doubt my ability to do my job.

But I can.

With great reflexes...

Comes great response ability.

What was that Spiderman quote again?

With great reflexes, comes great response ability.

Never underestimate a hoe's ability to do arithmetic.

Because its the thot that counts.

Spider Sense

With great power comes greats response ability.

What would a skeptic say if you were to tell them that you had a supernatural ability to detect Indian bread?

Naansense!

I lacked confidence in my ability as a sheep shearer....until I started shearing female sheep....

Ewes make me feel like a natural woolman....

A weird man with a weird condition

The man was never very good at anything.
He had no talents apart from his ability to notice things when he was drunk.
He decided to become a detective.
On his first day he came across a dead body , but he could not make head or tail of the situation.
So he proceeded to ask his colleague , Here's the dead body. Where's tequila ?

I have a special ability that lets me see both the past and future at the same time.

Some say it's a gift, but I think of it as the present.

What country questions your ability to perform?

Ken ya? Ken ya?

So a man one day gains the ability to make a car made of coins.

It's acceleration was a quarter faster than a dragster, the frame costed mere pennies, and the interior was full nickel, but people didn't think it made cents.

A news reporter rushes to the man in awe, asking, but does it even have brakes? The man simply looked back and said "Of course. It stops on a dime."

Whenever my buddy gets high, he gains a strange ability to speak multiple languages.

He is Rosetta stoned.

Marvel are developing a new super hero who has the ability to remotely edit people's DNA.

He will be called Gene Hackman

In 1969, the Beatles originally wrote one of their hit songs for a Broadway version of Peter Pan. Captain Hook's right hand man wanted to Broker a truce that would give Hook the ability to fly and give Peter and the Lost Boys safety from pirates. It ended with a big event where Hook and Peter flew..

Come together, right now... over Smee.

I have the ability to leave a building 5m before the fire alarm starts

I call it premature evacuation.

I have an ability that I can leave buildings 3m before the fire alarm goes off

But for some reason people call me pyromaniac

A man was being interviewed for a job in CIA

Interviewer: We want a person with suspicious mind, always alert, merciless, ready to attack, acute sense of hearing, detective ability and most importantly having a killer Instinct. So, do you think you are eligible?

Man: Sir... Can my wife apply?

My friend has a unique ability; he can always tell if there are lions near by.

He's got a great sense of pride.

What is your best ability?

I have grate speling.

A guy lives in my building with the ability to change locks and unclog drains at will

He has super powers

Not to brag, but I have a psychic ability of guessing what is inside a wrapped present.

You can say....It's a gift.

My teacher said we have the ability to clone we just don't know what kind of rights they should have.

I simply replied copyright

Why was the girl amazed at her ability to get pregnant from the world's smallest man?

Because she didn't know she had it in her.

People keep telling me the fact I lost my ability to smell could be due to Corona and I should get tested.

That's nonsense, I think it's due to the frequent washing.

A friend once asked me "You've never said no to a beer have you?!"

So I told him
"By the time I start talking to my drinks I lose the ability to recall it the next day!"

A man was being interviewed for job in the army

The general asks the man: We want a person with a suspicious mind, one who is always alert. Merciless and ready to attack. Someone who has an acute sense of hearing and has detective ability. And most importantly having a killer instinct!

So do you think you are eligible?

The man replies: Sir... can my wife apply!???

My friend has the ability to hike the most complex of trails without getting lost.

It's pathological.

My wife has a sinus condition that suppresses her ability to detect odors

But she gets offended when I tell people that she doesn't smell good.

A diver is applying a job

Hiring manager: what is your ability?

Diver: i can work under pressure

What did the fake psychic say when she got the ability to see the future?

I could prophet off of this.

You either have ability...

...or you're nobility.



BOOM roasted. Take that, bourgeoise.

A New Strain Spreading Faster Than COVID

Scientists have discovered a powerful new strain of fact-resistant humans who are threatening the ability of Earth to sustain life, a sobering new study reports.

Scientists warn that a virulent strain of humans are virtually immune to any form of verifiable knowledge, leaving researchers at a loss as to how to combat them.

These humans appear to have all the faculties necessary to receive and process information, and yet, somehow, they have developed defenses that, for all intents and purposes, have rendered those faculties totally inactive."

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the ability communication jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working ability artemis piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes