The Best 67 Ability Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Ability jokes. There are some ability flexibility jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these ability comfort puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 Funniest Ability Jokes and Puns

Why is spiderman so good at comebacks?

Because with great power comes great response ability.

A man asks an atheist if he had the ability to choose, which fictional character would he be

The atheist replied with " God "

Did you hear about the transformer who lost his ability to change into a seven-sided shape?

He's a de-septagon.

Post Jokes About Americans

As an American, I've heard a lot about other countries. I recently heard one about Americans and it's got me wondering what else is out there. The Joke:

An American walks into a London pub.

A local notices and says, "Oi, look! An American! You know, if there's one thing I like about you Americans, it's your ability to appreciate irony!"

To which the American says, "Hey, thanks!"

jokes about ability

The Chinese have successfully tested their new Stealth Drones.

Not only will they be used in Recon and Combat missions but they will have the ability to drop vital equipment onto the battlefield.

They will have the element of supplies.


In the window of a bar in Philadelphia

Drop a bucket of Starbuck's Iced Coffee on your head to raise awareness of the rich city girls who have lost their ability to even.

50% of being a lawyer is the ability to use latin phrases that people don't understand

the other 50% is *ad hoc ergo propter hoc*

Ability joke, 50% of being a lawyer is the ability to use latin phrases that people don't understand

My father thinks himself an expert at cutting through busy sidewalks.

I consider his ability rather pedestrian.

What do you call a Mexican melon?

A cantelopez!

Came up with this on all by myself. I'm a new Dad, so I feel as if I've significantly leveled up my Dad Joke ability.

A famous armorer was called to court...

…to demonstrate his new plate design. He set it on a stand in the middle of a grand gallery. The king called in his executioner, a dour and muscular man who prided himself in his ability to slice folk exactly in half, to strike the suit. With a sonorous clang! the executioner's heavy sword bounced off of the chest piece. Frustrated, he pointed an accusatory finger at the armorer and cried This is why we can't halve nice things!

Job interview for a circus

A man is having a job interview for a circus. The interviewer asks: "What's your ability?"

"I can imitate birds"

"Look, I'm sorry but this is not the kind of things we are looking for"

The guy answers: "Fine, fine, thanks anyway", then he opens the window and flies away.

You can explore ability uncanny reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean ability mutation dad jokes. There are also ability puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


What would be the most useless superpower?

How about the ability to go invisible, but it only works while you're playing a trumpet.

The mountain gazelle is said to have the ability to jump higher than the average house

Considering houses don't jump

My dad's joke.

'Did you know there were Female hormones in beer?'

Because, if you start drinking too much.
You don't have the ability to drive, and you get fat.

I asked a genie for the ability to shoot microwaves from my hands...

Clunk. These are heavy.

Some scientists believe the ability to create language was because we ate so much meat as primates.

That's why vegans can only say "i'm vegan".

Ability joke, Some scientists believe the ability to create language was because we ate so much meat as primates.

There are 2 types of people in this world

Those with the ability to extrapolate information from incomplete data

If dogs had the ability to speak to humans

We still would have no idea what Scottish Terriers would be trying to tell us.

They say a man's attractiveness is tied to his chess ability...

Unfortunately, I'm really bad at mating.


I have an amazing ability, I find objects just before people lose them.

The police however call it theft.

My newborn nephew entered the world with the innate ability to dance. They ran tests and found that he got the ability by being born with an extra chromosome. The doctors are calling it...

"Get down syndrome"

Doubting wife!

My wife has absolutely no confidence in my ability to repair electrical items around the house.

Well, she's in for a shock!

Would you like the ability to read minds?

Mind mind mind mind mind mind mind mind mind mind

A young first officer asks his Captain

A young first officer asks his Captain,
"Sir, why does not my ability evolve. I don't seem to be getting better at flying?"

And the Captain patiently answers: "Son, have you seen the gulls flying by the setting sun, and their wings seem like flames?"

"Yes, my sir, I have."

"And a waterfall, spilling mightly over the stones but without taking anything out of its proper place?"

"Yes, sir, I have already witnessed it."

"Then the moon .. when it touches the calm water reflecting all its enormous beauty?"

"Yes, sir, I have also observed this marvelous phenomenon."

"That is the problem. You keep watching all these stupid things instead of focusing on flying the aircraft."

I like my women like I like my computer data,

with the ability to back it up.

A man rubs a bottle and a genie comes out,

The genie says to the man, "I will grant you one wish however, it must be within reason" The man thinks for a second and says "I want a dragon!" the genie replies "Are you mad? I said within reason!" Again the man thinks and finally speaks. "I wish for the ability to plug a USB cable in right every time." The genie thinks, then says,

What color do you want your dragon?

Ability joke, A man rubs a bottle and a genie comes out,

Today's Horoscope:

"You are easily influenced by what you read and have the ability to make vague sentences somehow applicable to your own existence."

So John Kelly claims that the lack of an ability to compromise led to the Civil War...

I wouldn't say that's 100% accurate, but at least 3/5ths.

With great reflexes...

Comes great response ability.


What was that Spiderman quote again?

With great reflexes, comes great response ability.

Never underestimate a hoe's ability to do arithmetic.

Because its the thot that counts.

I lacked confidence in my ability as a sheep shearer....until I started shearing female sheep....

Ewes make me feel like a natural woolman....

A weird man with a weird condition

The man was never very good at anything.
He had no talents apart from his ability to notice things when he was drunk.
He decided to become a detective.
On his first day he came across a dead body , but he could not make head or tail of the situation.
So he proceeded to ask his colleague , Here's the dead body. Where's tequila ?

What country questions your ability to perform?

Ken ya? Ken ya?


So a man one day gains the ability to make a car made of coins.

It's acceleration was a quarter faster than a dragster, the frame costed mere pennies, and the interior was full nickel, but people didn't think it made cents.

A news reporter rushes to the man in awe, asking, but does it even have brakes? The man simply looked back and said "Of course. It stops on a dime."

Whenever my buddy gets high, he gains a strange ability to speak multiple languages.

He is Rosetta stoned.

Marvel are developing a new super hero who has the ability to remotely edit people's DNA.

He will be called Gene Hackman

A man was being interviewed for a job in CIA

Interviewer: We want a person with suspicious mind, always alert, merciless, ready to attack, acute sense of hearing, detective ability and most importantly having a killer Instinct. So, do you think you are eligible?

Man: Sir... Can my wife apply?

My friend has a unique ability; he can always tell if there are lions near by.

He's got a great sense of pride.

Not to brag, but I have a psychic ability of guessing what is inside a wrapped present.

You can say....It's a gift.

Why was the girl amazed at her ability to get pregnant from the world's smallest man?

Because she didn't know she had it in her.

People keep telling me the fact I lost my ability to smell could be due to Corona and I should get tested.

That's nonsense, I think it's due to the frequent washing.

A friend once asked me "You've never said no to a beer have you?!"

So I told him
"By the time I start talking to my drinks I lose the ability to recall it the next day!"

A man was being interviewed for job in the army

The general asks the man: We want a person with a suspicious mind, one who is always alert. Merciless and ready to attack. Someone who has an acute sense of hearing and has detective ability. And most importantly having a killer instinct!

So do you think you are eligible?

The man replies: Sir... can my wife apply!???

My friend has the ability to hike the most complex of trails without getting lost.

It's pathological.

My wife has a sinus condition that suppresses her ability to detect odors

But she gets offended when I tell people that she doesn't smell good.

A diver is applying a job

Hiring manager: what is your ability?

Diver: i can work under pressure

What did the fake psychic say when she got the ability to see the future?

I could prophet off of this.

You either have ability...

...or you're nobility.



BOOM roasted. Take that, bourgeoise.

A New Strain Spreading Faster Than COVID

Scientists have discovered a powerful new strain of fact-resistant humans who are threatening the ability of Earth to sustain life, a sobering new study reports.

Scientists warn that a virulent strain of humans are virtually immune to any form of verifiable knowledge, leaving researchers at a loss as to how to combat them.

These humans appear to have all the faculties necessary to receive and process information, and yet, somehow, they have developed defenses that, for all intents and purposes, have rendered those faculties totally inactive."

Why did tiger quit golf?

He lost the ability to drive

Why does spiderman always have the best comebacks?

With great power comes great response ability!

Why are most archaeologists women?

Because of their inherent ability to dig up the past

I'm aroused by my ability to see, hear, smell, taste, and touch

I've come to my senses

Step 1: Travel back in time

Step 2: Impress people with your ability to predict the future

Step 3: ???

Step 4: Prophet

I was blessed with the gift of hindsight

- But that's not a special ability
- I can see that now

What's the difference between Jesus and vaccines?

One has the ability to prevent disease, slow down and eventually stop a global pandemic, and has saved countless millions of lives.

The other is a giant hoax, made up by evil shit bags to control the global population.

I told my friend I have an acute sense of when a deep hole with water is nearby. He said thats a useless ability.

I'm well aware

Dad: "Son, do you know why Spider-Man is so good with his quips?"

Son: "Why dad?"

Dad: "Because with great power comes great response ability"

Reality vs LinkedIn

Reality:

I got my driving license

Linkedin:

I am honored and thrilled to announce that I have been selected among the top 5 applicants who participated in professional and the most-respected exam which evaluates the skills and ability to operate fuel-based vehicles. I cannot wait to see what the next chapter holds, and I cannot express my appreciation to the ministry of transportation, Wendy's, Google, NASA, my neighbors who supported me during this difficult journey.

Hitler used an astrologist to give him guidance in battle...

One day he told the man, "you've served me well. We are winning battles and the war and I'm very pleased with your work. Your ability to predict the future is amazing. But there's one thing I wondered about and wanted to ask you."

How can I serve you mein Fuhrer?

"Do you know what day I'm going to die?"

Of course.

"Well, what day am I going to die?"

Sir, you are going to die on a Jewish holiday.

"Mein gott! That's terrible. What Jewish holiday am I going to die on?"

Any day you die is going to be a Jewish holiday.

TIL about the Downing-Keurig Effect in which poor performers greatly overestimate their abilities. It shows that underperforming individuals reach erroneous conclusions and make unfortunate choices, but their incompetence robs them of the ability to realize."

I feel so smart knowing about this.

A neurologist was diagnosing a patient who lost his ability to do basic math

"What's 9 plus 9?
12 .
What's 8 and 8?
10 .
The doctor shook his head. Very interesting. What about 6 times 5?
The man thought for a second, and answered 1E .
Aha, I've figured it out! The doctor said. Somebody's clearly put a hex on you.

I watched Into The Spiderverse and I wondered how Spider-Man always comes up with his witty comebacks.

Then it it me with great power comes great response ability.

We thought it was our ability to love that made us human,

but it turns out it was actually our ability to SELECT EACH IMAGE CONTAINING A TRUCK.

Some Engineering Teachers Sat In a Plane

A group of engineering teachers were invited to sit in a plane. Once everyone was comfortably seated, they were informed that the plane was built by their engineering students. Immediately, all the teachers scrambled to get out of the plane- all but one. When asked why, the teacher responded:

"I have been watching my students closely and understand their ability. I can say with confidence that if they were the ones to build this plane, **this hunk of metal won't even take off.**"

TIL most archaeologists are women

Due to their natural ability to dig up the past

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the ability communication jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working ability artemis piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes