Abdul Jokes

A reporter goes to the Middle East for an interview.

Reporter: "Excuse me, may I interview you?"

Man: "Yes!"

Reporter: "Name?"

Man: "Abdul Al-Rhazim."

Reporter: "Sex?"

Man: "Three to five times a week."

Reporter: "No no! I mean male or female?"

Man: "Yes, male, female... sometimes camel."

Reporter: "Holy cow!"

Man: "Yes, cow, sheep... animals in general."

Reporter: "But isn't that hostile?"

Man: "Yes, horse style, dog style, any style."

Reporter: "Oh dear!"

Man: "No, no deer. Deer run too fast. Hard to catch."

Do you speak english?

- Yes
- Name?
- Abdul bal-Rhasib
- Sex?
- Three to five times a week.
- No, no... I mean male or female?
- Yes, male, female, sometimes camel.
- Holy cow!
- Yes, cow, sheep, animals in general.
- But isn't it hostile?
- Horse style, doggy style, any style!
- Oh dear!
- No, no! Deer runs too fast.

What do you get when you cryogenically freeze a genetic copy of basketball legend Kareem Abdul Jabbar?

An ice Kareem clone

An pakistani in the US fears for his safety

Email note from Abdul in Washington to his friend Ahmed in Pittsburgh:

I was fed up with being burgled every other day in my neighbourhood.

So, I tore out my alarm system & de-registered from our local Neighbourhood Watch.

I've planted a Pakistani flag in each corner of my front garden and a large Black Flag of ISIS in the centre. I grew a beard and only wear turbans in my freetime.

Now, the Washington Police, the FBI, the National Security Agency, Scotland Yard, MI-5, MI-6, the CIA and every other intelligence service in the world are all watching my house 24x7x365.

My children are followed to school every day and my wife when she goes shopping. I'm followed to and from work every day. So no one bothers me at all.

I have never felt safer.

I was walking down the road when I saw an Afghan dude

He was standing on a fifth floor balcony shaking a carpet.

I shouted up to him, "What's up Abdul, won't it start?"

Reporter: "Excuse me, may I interview you?"

Man: "Yes!"

Reporter: "Name?"

Man: "Abdul Al-Rhazim."

Reporter: "Sex?"

Man: "Three to five times a week."

Reporter: "No no! I mean male or female?"

Man: "Yes, male, female... sometimes camel."

Reporter: "Holy cow!"

Man: "Yes, cow, sheep... animals in general."

Reporter: "But isn't that hostile?"

Man: "Yes, horse style, dog style, any style."

Reporter: "Oh dear!"

Man: "No, no deer. Deer run too fast. Hard to catch."

Reporter and the Man

Reporter: "Excuse me, may I interview you?"

Man: "Yes!"

Reporter: "Name?"

Man: "Abdul Al-Rhazim."

Reporter: "Sex?"

Man: "Three to five times a week."

Reporter: "No no! I mean male or female?"

Man: "Yes, male, female... sometimes camel."

Reporter: "Holy cow!"

Man: "Yes, cow, sheep... animals in general."

Reporter: "But isn't that hostile?"

Man: "Yes, horse style, dog style, any style."

Reporter: "Oh dear!"

Man: "No, no deer. Deer run too fast. Hard to catch."

Interviewing Arab for US visa


Interviewing an arab for a visa

Consul : What is your name?
Arab: Abdul Aziz

Consul: Sex?
Arab : Six to ten times a week

Consul: I mean, male or female?
Arab : Both male and female and sometimes even camels.

Consul: Holy cow!
Arab : Yes, cows and dogs too!!!!
Consul: Man,........isn't it hostile?
Arab : Horse style, dog style, any style

Consul: Oh..........dear!
Arab : Deer? No deer, they run too fast

An arab at airport

An arab at airport:

\- Name?

\- Abdul Al Razhib.

\- Sex?

\- Three to five times a week.

\- No, no, I mean: male or female?

\- Yes... male, female, sometimes camel.

\- Holly cow!

\- Yes... cow, dog, even sheep.

\- But isn't that hostile?

\- Horse style, doggy style, any style!

\- Oh, dear!

\- No, no... deer run to fast!

This is traditional food in my country!

"But Abdul, this plate is empty."

"__I know!__"

Better formatted version Reporter and Man...

Reporter: "Excuse me, may I interview you?"
Man: "Yes!"
Reporter: "Name?"
Man: "Abdul Al-Rhazim."
Reporter: "Sex?"
Man: "Three to five times a week."
Reporter: "No no! I mean male or female?"
Man: "Yes, male, female... sometimes camel."
Reporter: "Holy cow!"
Man: "Yes, cow, sheep... animals in general."
Reporter: "But isn't that hostile?"

Three muslim women...

Three muslim women are sitting together talking. One pulls out a picture of her son to show the others. 'This is a picture of my son Abdul. He would have been 18 today'. Another pulls out a picture of her son. 'This is a picture of Mohammed. He would have been 20 today'. The third one says with a tear in her eye, 'Yes, they blow up so quickly these days...'

An Imam preaching against the alcohol outside a bar....

Outside a Bar, Imam Abdul was preaching: Drinking is Bad,it is the root of all evils.

Man: Have you tried it?
Imam: No, Never.
Man: Ok, you try once, if you don't like it, I'll give up Drinking.

Imam : Ok, but bring it in Tea cup, I don't want people seeing me drinking.

Man goes to the bartender and says: Give me two Shots of Rum in Tea-Cup...

Bartender: Hey!Is that Imam Abdul here Again??

Do you speak English?

Do you speak English?
-Yes!

Name?

- Abdul al-Rhazib.

Sex?

- Three to five times a week.

No, no... I mean male or female?

- Yes, male, female, sometimes camel.

Holy cow!

- Yes, cow, sheep, animals in general.

But isn't that hostile?

- Horse style, doggy style, any style!

Oh dear!

- No, no! Deer runs too fast...

Abdul the Afghani

Abdul the Afghani is walking through the mountains with his wife in front of him. He meets his imam going in the opposite direction.

"Abdul, have you read the Koran? It says the wife should always walk behind her husband," the imam says.

"When the Koran was written, there were no minefields." He then yells to his wife, "keep going, Fatima!"

An Interview

An Arab was interviewed at the US Embassy for a Visa

Consul: What is your name?

Arab: Abdul Aziz

Consul: Sex?

Arab: Six to ten times a week

Consul: I mean, male or female?

Arab: Both male and female and sometimes even
camels

Consul: Holy cow!

Arab: Yes, cows too.

Consul: Man....isn't that hostile?

Arab: Oh horse style, dog style, any style

Consul: Oh dear!

Arab: Deer? No deer, they run away too fast!

Consul: Oh God!

Arab: Yeah, I know it's Good for the health

(nsfw) An arab man goes to the airport to take a flight

- Name?
- Abdul Al Razhib.
- Sex?
- Three to five times a week.
- No, no, I mean: male or female?
- Yes... male, female, sometimes camel.

Registration on the first day back at school in Birmingham, ENGLAND.

*Registration on the first day back at school in Birmingham, ENGLAND.
The teacher began calling out the names of the pupils:*

"Mustafa Al Eih Zeri?" "Here"

"Achmed El Kabul?" "Here"

"Fatima Al Hayek? " "Here"

"Ali Abdul Olmi?" "Here"

"Mohammed Bin Kadir?" "Here"

"Ali Son al En β€” *silence in the classroom.*

"Ali Son al En" β€” *continued silence as everyone looked around the room.*

*The teacher repeated the call.*
*A girl stood up and said*: "Sorry teacher. I think that's me. It's pronounced Alison Allen."

DJ Khaled

DJ Khaled's full name is Khaled Ibn Abdul Khaled, so basically his name is Khaled Khaled.

When his mum named him, he was like another one.

Two ISIS fighters making a letter bomb

Abdul and Saddam sitting making letter bombs, Abdul says, "Saddam, do you think I've put enough explosive in this envelope?" "I don't know" says Saddam "open it and see". "But it'll explode" says Abdul. "Don't be so fucking' stupid" says Saddam "it's not addressed to you!"

I called the Samaritans today and spoke to a guy called Abdul.

He was very sympathetic when he heard I was suicidal and asked if I was a pilot.

Pakistani Maths Problems are like really really complex

Abdul has 3 lunch boxes.

He gives one to Rafiq and another to Hassan.

Calculate the radius of the explosion.

Magic used to say Byrd could play like he had 3 legs.

Yep. Something Magic Johnson, Kareem Abdul and Wilt know a lot about.

What did the turkey say to the goat?

The turkey said gobble, gobble, gobble.
The goat said back abdul akbar before blowing up.

Horse stile

**Reporter**: "Excuse me, may I interview you?" **Man**: "Yes!" **Reporter**: "Name?" **Man**: "Abdul Al-Rhazim." **Reporter**: "Sex?" **Man**: "Three to five times a week." **Reporter**: "No no! I mean male or female?" **Man**: "Yes, male, female… sometimes camel." **Reporter**: "Holy cow!" **Man**: "Yes, cow, sheep… animals in general." **Reporter**: "But isn't that hostile?" **Man**: "Yes, horse style, dog style, any style." **Reporter**: "Oh dear!" **Man**: No, no deer. Deer run too fast. Hard to catch.

Abdul Ali was seriously injured in a car crash & he has been on life support.

Today his family had to make an agonizing decision.

They closed the shop to visit him.......

An Arab being interviewed at the US Embassy...

CONSUL: "Your name, please?"
ARAB: "Abdul Aziz."
CONSUL: "Sex?"
ARAB: "SIX times a week."
CONSUL: "I mean, male or female?"
ARAB: "Both male & female & sometimes even camels."
CONSUL: "Holy cow!"
ARAB:"Yes, cows & dogs too."
CONSUL:"Man, isn't that hostile?"
ARAB:"Horse style, dog style,any style!"
CONSUL:"Oh dear!"
ARAB:"Deer?No deer, they run too fast!!..."

We have collected gags that can be used as Abdul pranks to have fun with. If you want to stand out in a crowd with a good sense of humour joking about Abdul, here are one liners and funny Abdul pick up lines.

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