Abducted Jokes
42 abducted jokes and hilarious abducted puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about abducted that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Abducted Short Jokes
Short abducted jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The abducted humour may include short alien abduction jokes also.
- Just been chatting to my neighbour's teenage daughter and it turns out she's really into UFOs and alien. Which is cool because tomorrow she's getting abducted.
- How many abducted women does it take to change a light bulb? Five is apparently not enough because my basement is still dark.
- When my girlfriend told me that her fantasy was to be abducted, I thought she was joking. But she demands to be taken, seriously!
- Little joke I thought of: What do you call a duck being kidnapped? An abduction.
I'll quietly leave through this conveniently placed door. - My late wife was abducted by a troupe of travelling Mime artists. The police informed me, they did... Unspeakable things to her.
- I told my wife I'd never leave her unless aliens came to take me. It has taken 30 years but I finally have enough for Industrial Light and Magic to do an alien abduction scene.
- Between the Boko Haram schoolgirl abductions and the recent Malaysia Airlines incidents... I'm starting to doubt if we'll ever see an intact black box ever again.
- I came up with a movie idea. A man's daughter is abducted. This man has has a unique set of skills and goes on a revenge rampage. But the idea was taken.
- Jesus had a twin that was abducted shortly after birth In other words, there was doppelganger stranger danger in the manger.
- My mother-in-law has been abducted in Argentina. When the kidnappers called me, I asked if $10000 would be ok. They said they didn't have so much money.
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Abducted One Liners
Which abducted one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with abducted? I can suggest the ones about kidnapping and abandoned.
- My wife was abducted by a gang of mimes. They did unspeakable things to her.
- Those aliens that abduct cows must be gamblers. They're always raising the steaks.
- I prevented two girls from being abducted today. My van wouldn't start.
- Every fish you catch and release goes home with an alien abduction story.
- Chuck Norris was abducted by aliens. The aliens were never seen again.
- I was abducted by a group a mimes... They did unspeakable things to me.
- kidnapping a duck is called an abduction
- I saw a duck get kidnapped It was an abduction
- Are the Polish for or against abductions? Maybe I should take a poll
- What is the procedure when a sheep gets abducted? The police send out a LAMBer alert
- If you've been kidnapped by immigrants You've been abducted by aliens
- I was abducted by aliens last night I tried to communicate, but I didn't know Spanish
- I was once abducted The aleins even showed me outside the ship, i was breathless
- Why do aliens only abduct white people? Because they are easier to see in the dark.
- When a fish get caught by humans Do other fishes think that he was abducted by aliens ?
Unearthly Funniest Abducted Jokes to Tickle Your Sides
What funny jokes about abducted you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean detained jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make abducted pranks.
I was abducted by aliens. They made me wash my hands, clean my room, and e**... vegetables.
Turns out I was on the mothership.
People with an abduction f**...
Demand to be taken, seriously.
When my girlfriend told me she has an abduction f**..., I thought she was kidding.
But she demands to be taken, seriously!
How do r**... aliens abduct people?
Tractor beam
A priest is walking through the woods at night
He is stopped by a policeman. The priest asks, "What seems to be the problem, officer?" The policeman replies, "A Boy Scout was abducted in the area, and we are looking for a potential child m**...." The priest thinks for a second, and says, "I'll do it."
Alien abduction
Harry, Bill, and Steve are siting at the corner bar, when Ted walks in looking distressed. "Ted, you look awful. What's wrong?" Harry asks.
Ted says, "Last night I got really drunk and was abducted by an alien." Everyone is shocked. Bill asks, "What did the alien do to you?" "All I remember is being anally probed." Ted says. Everyone is horrified. "I heard that they'll do that." Says Harry. "What did the alien look like?" Ted responds, "Steve."
Did you know that the number of legs in the air of a horse statue indicate how its rider died?
If there are no legs in the air, the rider survived the war.
If there is one leg in the air, the rider was mortally wounded and died after a battle.
If there are two legs in the air, the rider was killed in battle.
If there are three legs in the air, the rider died in a tragic circus accident.
If there are four legs in the air, the rider was abducted by aliens and died in space.
I got abducted by aliens...
I was told to do my all chores, e**... veggies, take a shower and brush my teeth.
It was then I realized I was in the mother ship.
I thought my girlfriend was joking when she said she had an abduction f**....
But she demands to be taken, seriously!
