Abduct Jokes

Following is our collection of kidnap humor and expendables one-liner funnies working better than reddit jokes. They include Abduct puns for adults, dirty hijack jokes or clean nashville gags for kids.

There is an abundance of ransom jokes out there. You're fortunate to read a set of the 10 funniest jokes on abduct. Full with funny wisecracks it is even funnier than any gunpoint witze you can hear about abduct.

The Best jokes about Abduct

How many abducted women does it take to change a light bulb?

Five is apparently not enough because my basement is still dark.

How do redneck aliens abduct people?

Tractor beam

Those aliens that abduct cows must be gamblers.

They're always raising the steaks.

I was abducted by a group a mimes...

They did unspeakable things to me.

How to get the body you desire in 3 easy steps!

Step 1 - Go to your local gym.
Step 2 - Find the person whose body you wish to emulate.
Step 3 - Abduct that person.

Now you have the body you desire! Problem solved!


I was abducted by aliens last night

I tried to communicate, but I didn't know Spanish

I was once abducted

The aleins even showed me outside the ship, i was breathless

Why do aliens only abduct white people?

Because they are easier to see in the dark.

I have been abducted by aliens searching for people with Alzheimer's.

When I woke up, the first thing they asked me was which date is today. I'm afraid "how did I get here" was not a good answer.

I was abducted a few years ago. I was taken aboard a ship

where they made me brush my teeth three times a day, wash behind my ears and eat all my greens I think I was on the mothership.

Use only working piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Note that dirty and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. You can seriously offend people by saying creepy dark humor words to them.

Joko Jokes