The Best 13 Abduct Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Abduct jokes. There are some abduct expendables jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these abduct nashville puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 Funniest Abduct Jokes and Puns

I was abducted by aliens. They made me wash my hands, clean my room, and eat my vegetables.

Turns out I was on the mothership.

How many abducted women does it take to change a light bulb?

Five is apparently not enough because my basement is still dark.

How do redneck aliens abduct people?

Tractor beam

Those aliens that abduct cows must be gamblers.

They're always raising the steaks.

I got abducted by aliens...

I was told to do my all chores, eat my veggies, take a shower and brush my teeth.

It was then I realized I was in the mother ship.


I was abducted by a group a mimes...

They did unspeakable things to me.

How to get the body you desire in 3 easy steps!

Step 1 - Go to your local gym.
Step 2 - Find the person whose body you wish to emulate.
Step 3 - Abduct that person.

Now you have the body you desire! Problem solved!

I was abducted by aliens last night

I tried to communicate, but I didn't know Spanish

I was once abducted

The aleins even showed me outside the ship, i was breathless

Why do aliens only abduct white people?

Because they are easier to see in the dark.

I have been abducted by aliens searching for people with Alzheimer's.

When I woke up, the first thing they asked me was which date is today. I'm afraid "how did I get here" was not a good answer.

You can explore abduct kidnap reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean abduct hijack dad jokes. There are also abduct puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


I was abducted a few years ago. I was taken aboard a ship

where they made me brush my teeth three times a day, wash behind my ears and eat all my greens I think I was on the mothership.

I was abducted by aliens

We almost got to the border

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the abduct ransom jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working abduct gunpoint piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

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