Abbot Jokes

9 abbot jokes and hilarious abbot puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about abbot that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

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Amusing Abbot Jokes to Make You Laugh with Friends

What is a good abbot joke to make people laugh? Check out this list of funny stories that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth.

The monks were in the monastery copying those beautiful illuminated manuscripts.

One young monk suggested that, since they'd been copying copies, it might be time to go back to the original and make sure that their copies were correct. The abbot agreed and sent the monk down into the cellar to examine the original. The monk was gone for a long time, and finally the abbot went to look for him. He found the monk in tears and asked what was wrong. Through his tears, the monk blurted out, The word was celebrate!

There were some monks in a monastery...

...and they were looking after homeless people. The first homeless person goes up to the Abbot and says "Abbot I've sinned". The Abbot replies "Well how have you sinned?". The man replies "I stole money from a shop", "Go and drink from the fountain and you'll feel better.
The second homeless man goes up and explains that he had sinned by cheating on his wife. The Abbot again tells him to go and drink from the fountain and he would feel better.
The third homeless man goes up to the abbot and says "Abbot I've sinned" the Abbot replies "Well how have you sinned?". The man answers "I peed in the fountain".

A young novice joins a Silent Monastery. He is permitted to speak two words every 10 years.

After the first Decade he is admitted to the Abbot's study, sits across from him at his desk, and says: "Soup cold". After the second Decade, he does the same and says: "Bed hard". Once thirty years have passed, he stands at the threshold and declares: "I'm leaving"! Whereupon the Abbot slowly looks up and says: "Well I'm hardly surprised. You've done nothing but complain since you got here".

A man joins a monastery and takes a vow of silence

He is told by the abbot that on the anniversary of his vow, he can speak one sentence. A year goes by and on the first anniversary, the monk says: "My bed is uncomfortable."
Another years goes by. On the anniversary, the monk tells the abbot: "The food is cold."
Yet another year goes by, and this time the monk says: "It's drafty in my cell."
The abbot throws up his hands. "b**..., b**..., b**..., is that all you can do?!"

Name the worst two-wheel drive in Texas

Govenor Abbot

Ricky Nelson would be proud

I had a dream the other night. I was at an Italian restaurant, as I was walking in unnoticed Lou Abbot and Mary Tyler Moore waiting to be seated and Corey Hart was leaving having already ate. I made a gesture and said Hello Mary, Lou, and goodbye Hart.

Abbott and Costello

Costello: . . . I was in love with a bow-legged c**... and she was roundin' up cattle. Abbott: And what happened? Costello: She couldn't get her calves together. ~ Rio Rita (1942)

Regarding the change of pm in Australia...

Thought that it was abbot time it changed since it turn-ed blue for Tony
... I'll see myself out

A group of monks.

A group of monks are working in the Scriptorium when they realize there might be an error in the text they're copying. After a long debate over what they should do, the Abbot decides to go find the oldest copy they have. He takes quite a while to come back so the other monks decide to go check up on him. They find him in the back corner of the archives, clutching a tattered book and weeping. One of the monks runs to him and asks what was the matter. The Abbot replies "It says celebrate! CELEBRATE!"

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