Abandoned Car Jokes

6 abandoned car jokes and hilarious abandoned car puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about abandoned car that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

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Abandoned Car Funny Jokes to Tell Your Friends and Kids.

What is a good abandoned car joke to make people laugh? Check out this list of funny stories that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth.

A mathematician, a biologist and a physicist.

A mathematician, a biologist and a physicist are sitting on a Starbucks patio across from an abandoned building when a car pulls up, and two people get out and enter the building.
A few minutes go by, three people exit the building, get into the car and drive off.
"Hmm," says the physicist, "our original count must have been inaccurate."
"Ahh," says the biologist, "they must have reproduced!"
"Aha!" says the mathematician, "now if exactly one person enters the building, it will be empty again!"

A blonde, a redhead, and a brunette are on a road trip...

Their car stops running in the middle of nowhere and they can all take one thing to the nearby abandoned factory for survival. The redhead takes water in case they get thristy. The brunette takes food in case they get hungry. The blonde takes the car door, in case they get hot she can roll down the window.

[OC]My friend was living in an abandoned train car, until he was arrested.

For domestic caboose.

Three men are driving in the desert when their car breaks down.

The men decide that they must split up and survive on their own for the best chances. They are then forced to abandon the car. To be fair, they decide that they can each take one part of the car to help them.
The first man decides that he wants to take the car battery, he is an engineer and believes he can hook it up to somehow keep his phone charged as he travels the desert.
The second man decides he wants the water pump because he can drink from it when he gets thirsty.
The third man, who was a little slow, wanted to take a car door with him. His reasoning was, if it ever gets to hot, I can just roll the window down

So a penguin and a seal are in a car...

The penguin is driving. It's 105 degrees outside, and, being from the arctic, they want to get something to cool off. The seal suggests they get ice cream, so they find a nearby ice cream parlor. They're getting out of the car and the seal says, "Hey, something's wrong with the engine!" the penguin looks underneath the car, and sure enough there is a puddle of oil forming under the hot engine. Fortunately, they see a service station across the street. So, fighting the heat, they push the car to the shop and ask the mechanic to look at it while they go eat. By this time, the penguin and the seal are about ready to melt, so the penguin orders a huge bowl of ice cream. Unfortunately, he realizes that he cannot use a spoon. Abandoning all composure, the penguin buries his face in the ice cream, getting it all over himself. Meanwhile, the seal enjoys a shrimp basket. Finally, the two finish and go back to the mechanic. "Well," he says from under the hood, "it looks like you just blew a seal."
"Nope," replied the penguin, still wiping his face. "Just ice cream."

A penguin's car breaks down and he has it towed to a repair shop.

The mechanic tells him that he should have some information in about an hour.
The penguin sees an ice cream shop across the street so he wanders over while the mechanic works.
He finds the vanilla is the best ice cream he's ever eaten and he eats it with messy and gluttonous abandon getting it all over his face.
He goes back to the mechanic's to check on his car.
The mechanic informs him, "It looks as though you've blown a seal."
"Oh, no." replies the penguin "It's just some ice cream."

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