Heartwarming Abandon Jokes that Make You Laugh
Why did Elon Musk abandon his Twitter acquisition?
He wanted to experience, for the first time in his life, the sensation of pulling out
I have recently become a new man
I don't drink, i smoke very rarely, i don't stare at girls, i go to sleep early, i wake up early and I work hard everyday. My supervisors are happy with me. I will definitely abandon this lifestyle once i get out of jail.
Password security questions for the depressed
What is the name of your least favorite child?
In what year did you abandon your dreams?
What is the maiden name of your father's mistress?
At what age did your childhood pet run away?
What was the name of your favorite unpaid internship?
In what city did you first experience ennui?
What is your ex-wife's newest last name?
What sports team do you fetishize to avoid meaningful discussion with others?
What is the name of your favorite canceled TV show?
What was the middle name of your first rebound?
On what street did you lose your childlike sense of wonder?
When did you stop trying?
A guy goes to his psychiatrist complaining about his sex life...
Upon further discussion the psychiatrist suggests that the spark of excitement has gone out of his client's marriage.
"Perhaps," he suggests, "the next time you are feeling amorous, you should just take your wife, sexually and with abandon, right there and then, no matter the circumstance."
The man agrees that it seems a good idea. Two weeks later, he returns for his normal session with the psychiatrist.
"How did things go?" asks the psychiatrist.
"Absolutely amazing," says the man. "One night, as we sat down to dinner, I looked at my wife. She looked at me and we immediately made mad, passionate love right there on the table."
"So, things are good?" asks the psychiatrist.
"Couldn't be better," says the guy, "except we're can't eat at the Denny's next to our house anymore."
I'm cannot stand to live with my flatmate anymore
She doesnt clean the flat, she doesn't cook and she basically just uses me for free rides.
I'm want to move so badly but my boyfriend says "we can't abandon our daughter."
My abandonment issues are gone!
They decided to leave me too I guess..
As the Titanic sank, the musicians remained on deck and continued to play music as the ship went down.
The captain had said "aBandOn Ship", so they really had no choice.
A Black person, a Gay Person, and a Woman walk into a Bar
"This is Gold!" cried the Netflix executive.
"But I haven't even told you the story yet."
"Who cares? It hits all the right demos!"
"But don't you need to know this stuff if you're going to produce it?"
"That's ok, we're going to abandon it after 2 seasons anyway."
Why did Rihanna abandon the Catholic faith?
She found love in a Popeless place.
Abandonment issues:
they've stayed with me my whole life
I once ran for class president against a boy with terminal cancer
I know I lost to the simpathy vote, although in retrospective I did run a very negative campaign
"Vote for me, I won't abandon you in 2 months"
You can explore abandon abandonment reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean abandon eternal dad jokes. There are also abandon puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
Abandoned slogan: Become an organ donor...
...What have you got to lose?
My wife went to a chinese restaurant last night, but walked out in disgust when she saw their dumplings.
A clear case of wonton abandon.
The abandoned high school James Dean attended collapsed
Now it's just rubble without a cause.
What do you call a midget who has been abandon by their parents?
A Dworphan.
I was in the middle of a lake in a canoe with my girl friend last week when suddenly the boat sprung a leak. We had to decide whether to try and get the boat back to shore or abandon ship.
We had a real row v. wade debate that day.
Did you hear about the microbiologist who tore his pants?
He had to abandon his experimments to focus on some jean splicing.
What do you say when there's a singer, guitarist, bassist, and a drummer in a boat?
Abandon ship
Why did the scientist abandon making his electron radio?
There was too much static.
To abandon an ice cream sundae in Death Valley is to
Desert your dessert in a desert.
What is it called when a flock of sheep abandon their leader?
Muttony
In Mesopotamia when men decided to abandon their wives and children…
Do you think they said they were just going out for for ziggurats?
A man goes to a Chinese takeout.
Orders the starter combo platter, eats one piece, leaves the rest on the counter,
and strolls off with wanton abandon.
There's an abandoned house near where I live with lots of holes in the walls. I've visited there numerous times...
I still haven't been sucked off by any ghosts.
Theres a new sign on the statue of liberty
Abandon all hope, ye who enter here.
Elon Musk has decided to abandon his dream of going to Mars and pursue a career in perfume sales.
In honor of the canceled Mars program he will be debuting 'SpaceAxe', a signature Elon "Musk".
Why did the crew abandon the chili pepper boat?
It was capsaicin. ^(Don't hurt me.)
I treat my television in the same way that I treat my girlfriends.
I abandon them and subscribe to Netflix
Why did the Catholic church decide to abandon science?
Light stopped having mass
In ancient Egypt when Men decided to abandon their families...
They would say they were going out for ziggurats and never return.
My therapist said the only one that can abandon you as an adult is yourself.
I'm just wondering when I'll be back from getting some smokes.
If two black men get married and adopt a kid...
then which father will be the one to abandon them?
seems smooth
guy-damn girl is your body an orphanage ?
girl-well this out to be good
guy-because i want to abandon my children inside u
Abandon Hope All Ye Who Enter
Pirate Captain is strutten through the club a patch on each eye a puffy shirt and a stuffed toy kitten hanging from his ear. One guy nudges his mate and says "check ouwt this faggort Dwayne".
Pirate Captain turns and shouts "OI!!! I MAY BE BLIND BUT I HAVE ACUTE EARING"
