abacus Jokes

funny pick up lines and hilarious abacus puns

For Christmas, I bought my wife new beads for her abacus

It's the little things that count

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For Mother's Day, I bought my mom new beads for her abacus...

It's the little things that count...

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People think I'm weird because I swallowed an abacus...

It's what's inside that counts...

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My wife always complains I'm insensitive. So I got her some beads of an abacus for her birthday.

She said, What the hell are these?

I replied, It's the little things that count.

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People think I'm weird because I swallowed an abacus

They're forgetting it's what's on the inside that counts.

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My friend turned up to my costume party dressed as an abacus.

I knew I could count on him.

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My wife thinks I'm not sensitive. So I got her some beads of an abacus for her birthday.

Her: What the hell are these?

Me: It's the little things that count.

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An abacus isn't exciting, but it's reliable.

You can always count on one.

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An abacus doesn't need batteries

you can always count on it

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A woman came in for a job interview wearing an abacus on her head. I hired her right on the spot.

It's so hard to find employees who you can count on.

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My abacus is really reliable for simple maths.

You can count on it.

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A man goes to a funeral ...

After the regular round of eulogies and speeches and well wishers, he leans over the pew and asks the widow:

"Mind if I say a word?"

No, of course not , she says. "Please do."

The man stands up, clears his throat and says:

"Abacus"

Then promptly sits down.

The widow leans back and says: "Thanks, it's the little things that count .

*Gracious thanks to /u/madazzahatter for the inspiration.*

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Crappy Math Joke: Did you know the abacus...

..is the first example of anal retentive beads?

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For Christmas, I bought my wife new beads for her abacus.

Anus**

Dang autocorrect!

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I asked the shopkeeper if he thought I should be refunded for my faulty abacus

He told me not to count on it.

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my abacus is super trustworthy

i can always count on it

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You can always count on...

...an abacus.

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What did the abacus say to the adding machine?

Calc you later!

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Abacus

Just received my new Chinese abacus. It's poorly made. I can't count on it

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I nearly gave up on life after God turned me into an abacus.

But people were counting on me...

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What does an abacus say when it leaves?

Calc-u-later

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My buddy got me a telepathic abacus for Christmas

It's the thought that counts

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You know why they call me Abacus?

You can count on me.

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You can say what you like about my uncle Abacus...

because he's stone deaf

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Abacuses are really trustworthy

You can always count on them.

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What do you call a counting device with a law degree?

Abacus Finch

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What are the most funny Abacus jokes of all time ?

Did you ever wanted to stand out with a good sense of humour joking with someone about Abacus? Well, here are the best Abacus dad jokes to laugh out loud. Crazy funny puns and Abacus pick up lines to share with friends.

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