Aaron Jokes

Statistics are like bikinis.

What they reveal is suggestive, but what they conceal is vital.
Edit- This is a famous quote by Aaron Levenstein. A Professor told this to a friend.

Aaron Hernandez set a new NFL record

Longest hang time by a player who doesn't punt

What end of the rope did Aaron Hernandez hang himself with?

The tight end.

Aaron Hernandez died doing what he loved...

Killing people.

Two Jews walking down the street

Two Jews are taking an afternoon stroll. As they pass St. Joseph's Cathedral they notice a sign posted on the front door.

GET $50!**

"$50!!," exclaims David. "What a great deal, we can just convert back after!"

"Hold your horses," says Aaron. "It could be a scam, tell you what, I will go and do it, we'll see if this deal is real."

Aaron goes into the cathedral and David waits outside.

Finally, after an hour passes, Aaron comes out of the cathedral.

"So? Was it a scam? Did you get the $50??," asks David.

Aaron replies, "Is it always about the money with you people?"

Aaron Rogers, Eli Manning and dak Prescott walk into a bar

To watch the playoffs

... Or was it Hank Aaron.

A man and a dog walk into a bar. The man walks up to the bartender and bets him $20.00 that his dog can talk. The bartender is interested so he takes the bet. The man turns to the dog and asks what the top of a house is called. "Roof!" barks the dog. "How does sandpaper feel?" asks the man. "Rough!" responds the dog. "Who was the greatest baseball player of all time?" the man asks. "Ruth!" the dog says. At this point the bartender is livid so he kicks both of them out and keeps the twenty dollars. Later they're both sitting on the corner and the dog turns to his master and says "Was it Mantle?"

Why didn't Aaron Hernandez ever tell us why he threw away his career for a life of crime?

He wanted to leave us hanging.

I hear they took Aaron Hernandez out of Madden

and put him in Grand Theft Auto V.

Life's just not fair. Aaron Hernandez had everything: talent, money, women...

And now I hear he's well-hung, too?

What's Aaron Hernandez's favorite part of a bed sheet?

The tight end.

Apparently Aaron Hernandez misunderstood his attorney when his lawyer told him to...

hang in there

BREAKING NEWS: Patriots admit Tim Tebow hired by mistake.

After tight end Aaron Hernandez request for white Bronco.

Bob didn't believe that Fred's dog could talk

So Fred asked his dog, What's on top of a house?

Roof, the dog barked.

Bob wasn't convinced. So Fred asked the dog how sandpaper feels.


He still wasn't convinced.

O.K., who was the greatest baseball player of all time? Fred asked the dog.


With that, Bob walked away, shaking his head in disbelief. The dog turned to Fred and asked: Was it Hank Aaron?

Did you hear they asked Aaron Hernandez if he wanted to watch the Patriots visit to The White House on the rec room TV?

He said, "No thanks I'll just hang in my cell"

Before his conviction, Aaron Hernandez was a tight end in the NFL.

But since going to prison he's become a wide receiver.


***From Shakespeare's "Taming of the Shrew."***

Thou hast undone our mother.
Villain, I have done thy mother.

***an explosion soundeth! Chiron hast been cooked on a spit!***

Aaron Paul prefers to stay in character even when the cameras aren't rolling

It's called methead acting

Advice for dealing with all the Aaron Hernandez memes....

...hang in there, it'll die quicker than you think.

How did the referee declare Aaron Hernandez dead?

"After review, the receiver did not get two feet down."

How do you say Ray Lewis in Spanish?

Aaron Hernandez

The NFL announced today that Aaron Hernandez

Is suspended indefinitely.

What do you call a man with no arms and no legs on a clothes line?


Wow, Trump is making America great again...

Aaron Hernandez is dead, Bill O'Reilly got fired. Trump is actually getting rid of the criminals and rapists!

What's the difference between Tim Tebow and Aaron Hernandez?

Aaron Hernandez knew when to hang it up.

Big Injury Update

Aaron Hernandez (Neck)

Out Indefinitely


Aaron Hernandez shows you how he dodged serving a life sentence with this handy trick

At first I suspected foul play in the whole Aaron Hernandez suicide thing.

But I think he was just a guy at the end of his rope.

Aaron Hernandez once tried to give me a high-five...

But I left him hanging

Do you want my Aaron Hernandez jersey?

Its hanging in my closet.

The Future of Aaron Hernandez.

I personally believe Aaron Hernandez would have been a great Punter in the NFL, I mean look at that wicked hang time...

Looks like Aaron Hernandez found a loophole.

Then barricaded the door and put his head through it.

What's the first thing Aaron Hernandez learned in prison?

He's not a tight end anymore ;)

I think Aaron Hernandez misunderstood the verdict...

He must have thought it ended in a hung jury.

Aaron Hernandez is going to be a steal in everyone's fantasy draft this year

Experts are saying that he'll probably be hanging around and available in the late rounds.

Aaron Hernandez will be just fine

They're always drafting tight ends in prison.

No wonder why so many women have crushes on Aaron Hernandez...

...he's so well hung.

Credit goes to my friend SD (you know who you are).

Before Aaron Hernandez died he wrote a Memoir

but it ended with a Cliffhanger

Aaron Herndandez came in this world destined to be a tight end...

And left in one.

When Aaron Hernandez went to prison....

He was no longer a tight end.

New England Patriots list Aaron Hernandez out for week 1.


The Patriots visit to the White House was so GREAT...

it left Aaron Hernandez choked up and ultimately breathless

Why did Aaron Hernandez's girlfriend leave him?

She found out he was a swinger.

I guess aaron hernandez..

Decided to finally hang it up after all these years.

Why was the bed sheet a Patriots fan?

It spent a lot of time hanging around Aaron Hernandez

Aaron Hernandez...

Choked harder than the Falcons.

I guess Aaron Hernandez and I are not too different after all

I too would kill to be a rich and famous football player

What does Aaron Hernandez and his victims have in common?

They were both killed by tight ends.

Aaron Hernandez should've been the punter...

Cause he's got some serious hang time

What's the best name for a battery?


Why doesn't Aaron want to get out of the water, even though he is hydrophobic?

Because he enjoys living in denial.

How did Alexander Hamilton die?

He got Aaron Burnt

Did you hear Aaron Hernandez killed himself in prison?

I guess he couldn't Handle going from a tight end to a wide receiver after all...

Hear the latest news on Aaron Hernendez?!

No?! Ah well, I guess no noose is good noose!!

Now what am I gonna do with my Aaron Hernandez jersey?

Well, maybe I can hang it

What is the only way Aaron Hernandez can avoid getting arrested and going to prison?

Call Ray Lewis for tips on how to properly get away with murder

We have collected gags that can be used as Aaron pranks to have fun with. If you want to stand out in a crowd with a good sense of humour joking about Aaron, here are one liners and funny Aaron pick up lines.

Joko Jokes