The Best 48 A Young Doctor Jokes

Following is our collection of A Young Doctor jokes which are very funny. There are some a young doctor diagnosis jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud. Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these a young doctor boy puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Funny A Young Doctor Jokes and Puns

While visiting a friend in the hospital, a young man notices several pretty nurses, each one of them wearing a pin designed to look like an apple. “What does the pin signify?” he asks one of them. “Oh! Nothing,” she says with a chuckle, “we just use it to keep the doctors away.”

A young girl goes to the doctor and tells him she is feeling ill

So the doctor places the end of the stethoscope on her chest and says "Big breaths".

To which the girl replies "Thankth, I'm only thickthteen."

"Something's keeping me from masturbating," the young woman confided to her doctor.

"I can't quite put my finger on it."

An attractive young girl, chaperoned by an ugly old
lady, entered the doctor´s office.

"We have come for an examination," said the young girl.

"Alright," said the doctor. "Go behind that curtain and take your clothes off."

"No, not me," said the girl. "it´s my old aunt here."

"Very well,"said the doctor. "Madam, stick out your tongue."

A man takes his daughter to the doctor

A man takes his 11 year old daughter to the doctor and asks him to put her in birth control.

Concerned, the doctor replied, "I think she's a bit young to be sexually active.."

The father replies, "Well I wouldn't exactly call her *active*. She mostly just lies there."


A young lady, pregnant for the first time, visits her doctor for a check-up

After the exam, she says to the doctor, "My husband wants me to ask you..."

The doctor cuts her off and says, "I know, I know - it's normal. You can have sex until your third trimester."

The lady says, "No, that's not it. He wants to know how much longer can I can keep mowing the lawn."

A new doctor goes to work for a year in Cambodia, where people still get maimed from landmines left over from the Vietnam War era

In his very first day in the hospital, the doctor sees a young girl in the post-operation area. She is crying, and in a panic, she says to him, "Doctor, I can't feel my legs!"

He looks down at the young girl, and in his best bedside manner, tells her, "That's because the doctors had to amputate your arms."

Dr joke I just made up

A young medical intern was standing in a hospital hallway, looking flustered whilst try to examine a patients' CAT scan. Seeing his confusion, an older doctor came to see what the problem was. He saw that the intern was reading the scan upside down, and turned it around for him. Seeing that the young intern was embarrassed by his mistake, the doctor said, "don't feel embarrassed, lad, there's more than one way to skim a CAT."

Medical School Entrance Exam...

When I was young (100 yrs. Ago) and my intent was to go to medical school, the entrance exam included several questions that would determine eligibility.



One of the questions was "Rearrange the letters P N E S I to spell out an important part of the human body that is more useful when erect."



Those who spelled "SPINE" became Doctors. The rest ended up in Congress.

Last day for your taxes

A man walked into a restaurant with his young son. He gave the young boy 3 nickels to play with to keep him occupied.
Suddenly, the boy started choking, going blue in the face. The father realized the boy had swallowed the nickels and started slapping him on the back. The boy coughed up 2 of the nickels, but kept choking.
Looking at his son, the father panicked and shouted for help.
A well-dressed, attractive, and serious looking woman in a blue business suit was sitting at the coffee bar reading a
newspaper and sipping a cup of coffee. At the sound of the commotion, she looked up, put her coffee cup down, neatly folded the newspaper and placed it on the counter, got up from her seat and made her way, unhurried, across the restaurant.
Reaching the boy, the woman carefully dropped his pants, took hold of the boy's testicles and started to squeeze and twist, gently at first and then ever so firmly.
After a few seconds the boy convulsed violently and coughed up the last nickel, which the woman deftly caught in her free hand.
Releasing the boy's testicles, the woman handed the nickel to the father and walked back to her seat at the coffee bar without saying a word.
As soon as he was sure that his son had suffered no ill effects, the father rushed over to the woman and started thanking her saying, "I've never seen anybody do anything like that before, it was fantastic. Are you a doctor? "
No," the woman replied, "I'm with the Internal Revenue Service."

Guilty and Depression!

A young woman took her troubles to a psychiatrist.

"Doctor, you must help me," she pleaded. "It's gotten so that every time I date a nice guy, I end up in bed with him. And then afterward, I feel guilty and depressed for a week."

"I see," nodded the psychiatrist. "And you, no doubt, want me to strengthen your will power and resolve in this matter."

"For Pete's sake, NO!" exclaimed the woman. "I want you to fix it so I won't feel guilty and depressed afterward."

You can explore a young doctor husband reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean a young doctor nurse dad jokes. There are also a young doctor puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


Doctor is examining a young women...

and says:

- Everything seems OK, but I am worried about those bruised knees and elbows.

- Oh, it's because of all the doggy style sex I have.

- Don't you know any other position?

- I do, but my doggy doesn't.

A young burn victim gets new eyelids made from his foreskin!

Doctors say he will be a little cockeyed.

82 year old Mr. Morris

went to the doctors for a full physical examination.

A few weeks later, the doctor saw Mr. Morris walking down the road with a gorgeous young lady on his arm.

'Hello Mr. Morris,' says the doctor, 'you're looking well and it looks like you're doing great!'

'Well, I got me a hot Mamma, and I'm being cheerful, just like you said doc.'

'I didn't say that! What I said was, "You have a heart murmor, be careful!" '

A man from Oklahoma takes his daughter to the gynecologist...

He tells the doctor that he'd like to put her on birth-control pills. The doctor asks him how old she is.

"She's thirteen." the man says.

The doctor is somewhat startled, "That's seems a bit young, is she sexually active?"

The man replies, "Naw... she jus' lays there like 'er mother."

A young woman is at her doctor's appointment...

...When the doctor returns, after having run some tests.

"Ma'am," He says, "I've got your results, and it appears that you are pregnant." The woman appears shocked.

"What!? You've got to be..."

She pauses for a moment.

"...Kid-in-me."

----

After a a few moments of her giggling turn into silence, the doctor replies "Did you seriously get pregnant just to say that joke?"

The woman says "It was totally birth it."

The sore throat

Carl, a young man, woke up and suffered from an awful sore throat and all but lost his voice. The small town's doctor operated out of his own home, so Carl made his way over, scratching at his sore throat.

Dr. Wendell's wife answered the door, "Yes?"
Carl, in a very quiet, breathy voice replied, "Is the doctor in?"
Mrs. Wendell replied in the same whispering tone, "No.... come on in!"

*-Groucho Marx*

Why was a young man in a used bookstore?

Guy in the used book store picks up a bunch of old magazines and takes them to the counter.

Store owner says he's got lots that are more recent than the ones the customer has chosen.

The guy explains he's a new doctor just setting up his practice and he wants patients to think he's been a doctor for a while.

A 96 year old man...

After marrying a beautiful young woman, a 96 year old man informed his doctor that he and his new wife were expecting a baby.

"Let me tell you a story," the doctor said. "An absentminded fellow went hunting, but instead of a gun, he accidentally brought his umbrella on the trip. When he was in the woods, a bear charged him unexpectedly. The man whipped out his umbrella, pointed it at the bear and shot and killed it on the spot."

"That's impossible!" the elderly man exclaimed. "Someone else shot the bear."

"My point exactly," the doctor replied.


A young woman starts choking on her seafood at a restaurant.

The man behind her says "Stand back! I'm a doctor!" and proceeds to use the Heimlich manoeuvre on her.

A whole small fish shoots out of her mouth and the woman finally gasps in a few breaths.

The doctor picks up the fish and says "What's a plaice like you doing in a girl like this?"

What Did the young programer tell His Doctor About his Bladder Pain.

I usually sit too much at work and drink too much coffee and now it hurts when IP.

An old man is walking in the hospital...

An old man is walking in the hospital and talks to himself:
-aquarius?... no, no no... was it gemini?... naaah...
young doctor cant stand it anymore and walks to him:
-cancer grandpa, you got cancer!

How I Nearly Became A Doctor

How I Nearly Became A Doctor

When I was young I decided I wanted to be a doctor, so I took the entrance exam to go to Medical School.

One of the questions asked was to rearrange the letters *PNEIS* into the name of an important human body part which is most useful when erect.

Those who answered spine are doctors today.

So Doc' Can she run a marathon?

After fixing a young girl's broken bone a father asks "Will she be able to run a marathon when she recovers?"

To which the doctor replied "I don't see why not!"

The dad then says "That's odd, she couldn't run a marathon before!"

Young woman goes to the doctor

complaining of chest pains ...big breaths said the doctor as he placed his stethoscope ...yeth she says and I'm only thixteen

[NSFW] A young muslim goes to a german doctor.

The young muslim says "Doctor, my eyes burn everytime I have sex."
The doctor replied: "That's normal, that's what happens when you get pepper sprayed."

A girl goes to the doctor...

Putting his stethoscope to the young woman's chest, the doctor said, "Big breaths, dear."

She smiled. "Yup. And I'm not even thixteen yet!"

An engineer said: When I was young I decided to go to medical school.

At the entrance exam, we were asked to rearrange the alphabets

P N E I S

and form the name of an important human body part which is most useful when straight.

Those who answered SPINE are doctors today, while the rest are Engineers.

Morris went to doctor for a physical

Morris, an 82 year-old man, went to the doctor to get a physical.

A few days later, the doctor saw Morris walking down the street with a gorgeous young woman on his arm.

A couple of days later, the doctor spoke to Morris and said: "You're really doing great, aren't you?"

Morris replied: "Just doing what you said, Doc. Get a hot mamma and be cheerful."

The doctor said: "I didn't say that. I said, You've got a heart murmur - be careful."

Daughter

A middle aged man takes his 14 year old daughter to the doctor.
"And what do we need today young lady?" The doctor asks.
The father answers for her "She needs to start birth control".
The doctor gasps "She's sexually active at 14!?"

The father replies "Nope, she just lays there, just like her mother.

When I was young I decided I wanted to attend medical school...

At the entrance exam, we were asked to rearrange the following alphabets:
 

P  N  E  I  S
 

The question asked us to rearrange the letters in a way that it would spell the most important part of the body that is most useful when straight.
 

Those who answered *SPINE* are doctors today, and the rest of them are my friends.

A doctor is examining a young female patient...

"Big breaths!" he tells her.

"Yeth!" she says, "And I'm thtill only thixteen!"

When I was young I always dreamed of being a witch doctor.

I guess I'll stop listening to all the trolls.

Nearly became a Doctor

Only a few of my friends know that I nearly became a doctor. But this is what happened.

When I was young in the 1970's, I decided I wanted to a be doctor so I took the entrance exam to go to Medical School.

One of the questions asked of us was to rearrange the letters PNEIS into the name of an important human body part which is most useful when erect.

Those who answered "spine" are doctors today.

The rest of us are sending jokes via the internet!

A surgeon goes to check on his patient after surgery and he says to her...

"Everything went fine and you'll recover completely."

The young woman asks, "How long will it be before I can have a normal sex life again?"

The surgeon pauses for a while and wipes a small tear from the corner of his eye.

The woman, now alarmed, asks, "What's the matter doctor?! I will be OK, won't I!?"

The surgeon smiles and replies, "Yes, yes you'll be fine, it's just that no one has ever asked me that question after having their tonsils out."

An elderly patient needs a heart transplant and discusses his options with his doctor.

The doctor says, 'We have three possible donors.

One is a young, healthy athlete.

The second is a middleaged businessman who never drank or smoked, and the third is an attorney who just died after practising law for 30 years.'

'I'll take the lawyer's heart,' says the patient.

'Why?' asks the doctor.

The patient replies, 'It's never been used.'

A doctor asks an dying old man: "How do you feel about euthanasia?"

Old man: "I don't care if young people want to be in Asia. Let em."

A man takes his nine year old daughter to the doctor.

After several hours in the waiting room, they're called in.
"Hello," the doctor says. "How can I help you?"
The man nods, "It"s my daughter, I was wondering if you could put her on birth control."
"Birth control?" the doctor is incredulous. "She"s too young to be sexually active!"
"Sexually active?" the father says, "She just lies there like her mother!"

A forbidden love

"I'm in love with one of my sheep," the nervous young man told his psychiatrist.

"Nothing to worry about," the psychiatrist consoled. "Many people are fond of animals. As a matter of fact, my wife and I have a dog we are very attached to."

"But, doctor," continued the troubled patient, "I feel physically attracted to my sheep."

"Hmmmmm," observed the doctor. "Is it male or female?"

"Female, of course!" the man replied curtly. "What do you think I am, GAY?"

A young man goes to the doctor.

The doctor tells him that he must stop masturbating.
The young man asks Why? What's up?
The doctor replies Because I am trying to examine you!

A brunette and the Doctor....

A young brunette goes into the doctor's office and says that her body hurts wherever she touches it.
"Impossible," says the doctor. "Show me."
She takes her finger and pushes her elbow and screams in agony. She pushes her knee and screams, pushes her ankle and screams and so on it goes.
The doctor says, "You're not really a brunette are you?"
She says, "No, I'm really a blonde."

"I thought so," he says. "Your finger is broken."

So this young woman goes to the doctor and he asks, "Are you sexually active?"

She says, "No l, I just lay there."

When the surgeon came to see his young female patient on the day after her operation, she was slightly embarrassed.

So the doctor she asked "What's wrong?"

"Well this is a bit embarrassing for me, but just how long will it be before I can resume my normal sex life.

"Uh" stammered the doctor, as he thought pensively.

"Uh, I hadn't really thought about it" replied the stunned surgeon.

"You're the first patient to ever ask me that after a tonsillectomy."

That "Minecraft" videogame is taking its toll on my cousin's health.

The doctors have never seen someone so young afflicting by Black Lung.

A young man went to get a prostate exam

youngman: "hey doc I never done one of this before."

doctor: "its fine just take your panta off."

youngman: "where should I put my pants?"

doctor: "next to mine is fine."

After discovering her young daughter playing doctor with the neighbor's boy,

the angry mother grabbed the boy by the ear and dragged him to his house and confronted his mother. It's only natural for young boys and girls to explore their sexuality by playing doctor at their age, the neighbor said. Sexuality?! the mother yelled. He took out her appendix!

A young man walked into the doctor's surgery

A young man walked into the doctor's surgery and said:

"I want to thank you doc. Your last treatment did wonders for me!"

The doctor looked at him, surprised. "Are you one of my patients?" he asked.

"No," said the young man. "But my uncle was, and they've just read his will."

A woman went to the doctor's office and seen by one of the new young doctors.

After about four minutes in the examination room, she started screaming and ran down the hall. An older doctor stopped her and asked what the problem was, and she told him her story. After listening, he told her to sit down and relax in another room. The older doctor marched down the hallway to the back where the first doctor was and demanded, "What's the matter with you? Mrs. Terry is 63 years old, she has four grown children and seven grandchildren, and you told her she was pregnant?"
The new doctor continued to write on his clipboard and, without looking up, said, "Does she still have the hiccups?"

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the a young doctor examinations jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working a young doctor checkup piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

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