The Best 38 A Taxidermist Jokes

Following is our collection of funny A Taxidermist jokes. There are some a taxidermist dere jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these a taxidermist veterinarian puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest A Taxidermist Jokes and Puns

Q. What is a taxidermist's favorite part of Thanksgiving?
A. The stuffing.

A woman had 2 pet rabbits.

When they both died unexpectedly, she decided to get them stuffed so she took them to a taxidermist.

"Would you like them mounted?" the taxidermist asked.

She thought about it for a moment and said, "no, holding hands is fine".

Did you hear about the guy who is both a taxidermist and a veterinarian?

He has a sign on his door: Either way, you get your dog back.

A Taxidermist joke, Did you hear about the guy who is both a taxidermist and a veterinarian?

My ex girlfriend kept stuffed animals all over her bed. It really killed the mood...

...because she was a taxidermist.

What's the difference between a taxidermist and a tax collector?

A taxidermist takes only your skin. [Mark Twain]


Trophy Wife

Any wife can be a trophy wife...

... if you take her to a taxidermist.

What does a taxidermist do for a living?

Oh you know... stuff...

A Taxidermist joke, What does a taxidermist do for a living?

Taxidermist walks into a bar...

A man walks into a bar in Alabama and orders a cosmopolitan. The bartender looks at the man and says, "You're not from 'round here are ya?"

"No" replies the man, "I'm from New Hampshire." The bartender looks at him and says, "Well what do you do in New Hampshire?"

"I'm a taxidermist," says the man. The bartender looks bewildered, so the man explains, "I mount dead animals."

The bartender stands back and hollers to the whole bar, "It's OK, boys! He's one of us!"

No. I'm not a taxidermist.

I did say I would stuff your beaver.

[On a date] Date: So what do you do?

Me: I'm a taxidermist
Date: Oh... wow.
Fox: And a ventriloquist

My mother is dating a taxidermist...

That's right, he's stuffing my mother.

You can explore a taxidermist operator reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean a taxidermist shitzu dad jokes. There are also a taxidermist puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


Why couldn't the taxidermist finish anything he started?

Because he kept getting side tracked by pet projects

An old lady's beloved pair of pet rabbits died

So she took them to the taxidermist to get them stuffed. The taxidermist asked her "would you like them mounted?" "No" she replied, "just holding hands."

My neighbor is both a taxidermist and a veterinarian

He has a sign that says either way you get your dog back

Did you hear about the taxidermist who messed up the award?

It was a real catasstrophy!

What do taxidermists say when you don't have enough money to pay for a whole duck?

"I'll send you the bill"

A Taxidermist joke, What do taxidermists say when you don't have enough money to pay for a whole duck?

Rabbits died

My neighbor's pair of pet rabbits died unexpectedly within hours of each other. She was distraught. I suggested she go to my friend the taxidermist. When she arrived, my friend tried to console her and she asked him if he could create a memorial. "Of course", he replied. He explained that he could stuff them and they would almost look lifelike. He asked if she would like them mounted.
"No" she said, "holding paws would be fine."

If you are chased by a bunch of Taxidermists

Don't play dead

The difference between an Optimist and a Bird Taxidermist

The taxidermist sees a gamebird as a mixture of multiple species

The optimist only sees it as half-fowl


Welsh pub

One day a man walked into a pub in Wales and ordered a pint of beer.

All the other men in the bar looked at him and the bartender asked, "You're not from around here, are you lad?"

"No," replied the man, "I'm from London."

"So, boyo," said the bartender, "What do you do for a living then?"

"I'm a taxidermist." Replied the man.

"A taxidermist?" asked the barman, "What's one of them do?"

"Well," replied the man, "I mount animals."

The bartender then turned to all the other welshmen in the bar and said, "It's o.k. lads, he's one of us!"

If you're ever chased by a pack of taxidermists

DO NOT play dead.

What do taxidermists do for fun?

Oh, you know... Stuff...

A man asks a taxidermist what they do for a living...

He replies:
"I dunno... stuff... I guess..."

A woman wants her two dead pet cats taxidermied.

"Would you like them mounted?" the taxidermist says.

the woman replies
"no, just holding hands"

A hunter takes two monkeys to a taxidermist…

The taxidermist asks Do you want these mounted?

The hunter responds No, holding hands would be just fine

Growing up, my kid always had lots of stuffed animals....

...but he never appreciated them. Everything we went to the taxidermist he'd start crying.

I bought my daughter some stuffed animals for her birthday.

In hindsight, getting them at the taxidermist was probably a bad idea.

The other day I overheard my wife on the phone with a taxidermist...

She kept going on about how she loved how he stuffed her beaver.

John has two monkeys that died within 24 hours of each other.

He took them to the taxidermist, because he loved them and wanted to keep them with him forever.

The taxidermist said, "Do you want them mounted?"

John said, "No, just have them shaking hands."

(from a book of old jokes)

What woman is extremely sexually appealing and lifelike on the outside, but is completely dead on the inside?

A taxidermists daughter that passed away at birth.

What do a child and a taxidermist have in common?

They both have rooms of stuffed animals.

Ba dum-tsssss

If you ever find yourself being chased by a pack of Taxidermists

Never play dead.

A man is visiting friends in Alabama and decides he's needs a drink so he goes to a local bar

He walks in and orders a glass of wine. Everyone sitting around the bar looks up expecting to see a flamboyant yankee. The bartender eyes him suspiciously and asks you ain't from around here are you?

No sir, He says, I'm from Minnesota

What the hell do you do in Minnesota the bartender asks.

Im a taxidermist! The man replies.

What the hell is that!? The bartender asks.

The guy says nervously I umm, mount dead animals

The bartender smiles and shouts out to the whole bar it's ok fellas, he's one of us!

If you're being chased by a pack of taxidermists.

Don't play dead.

A guy walks into a redneck bar.

A guy walks into a redneck bar and orders a glass of wine. Everyone sitting around the bar looks up expecting to see some flamboyant Yankee. The bartender eyes him suspiciously and asks, "You ain't from around here, are you?"

"No sir," the guy says, "I'm from North Dakota."

"North Dakota?" the bartender asks. "What the hell you do in North Dakota?"

"I'm a taxidermist," the guy replies.

"A taxidermist, what the hell is that?" the bartender asks.

The guy says nervously, "Um, I mount dead animals."

The bartender smiles and shouts out to the whole bar, "It's okay fellas, he's one of us!"

My neighbor grew tired of being a taxidermist after 15 years, and went to veterinarian school.

His new business never got off the ground so he decided to operate both his taxidermy and vet business together to save money. His new slogan was: "No Matter What Happens - You Get Your Cat Back."

Did you hear what happened to the big game taxidermist who fell behind on his debt?

His deer rear career is in arrears

What does a taxidermist do on Tuesdays?

Nothing special ... just the usual stuff.

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the a taxidermist naw jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working a taxidermist polic piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

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