Howlingly Hilarious A Rod Jokes for All Ages to Enjoy
Dating is a lot like fishing
Sure, there's plenty of fish in the sea. But until i catch one, I'm just stuck here holding my rod.
With relationships, they say there's plenty of fish in the sea...
But I'm just stuck here holding my rod
They say that there are plenty of fish in the sea.
But until I catch one, I'm just going to be sitting here, holding my rod.
Finding a girlfriend is a lot like fishing...
There are plenty of fish in the sea, but it's just you holding your rod until you catch one.
A Russian and a Ukrainian go fishing together. They catch a talking goldfish, and she grants them 3 wishes if they let her go
The Russian says: we used my fishing rod, so I get first 2 wishes.
First: I want all the *insert some racial slurs* out of my glorious country.
Second: I want a big wall around Russia, nobody can cross.
Then Ukrainian has a dialogue with the fish
- Is the wall done?
- Yes
- Is it strong and durable?
- Yes
- Nobody can climb it?
- Nobody
- And nobody but moscovites inside?
- Yes
- Great! Then fill it up with s**... up to the edges
What do you call two guys above a window?
Kurt and Rod
There's plenty more fish in the sea
But until I catch one I'm left here holding my rod.
Two fellas are fishing in a boat under a bridge.
One looks up and sees a f**... procession starting across the bridge.
He stands up, takes off his cap, and bows his head.
The procession crosses the bridge and the man puts on his cap, picks up his rod and reel, and continues fishing.
The other guy says, "That was touching. I didn't know you had it in you."
The first guy responds, "Well, I guess it was the thing to do - after all, I was married to her for 40 years."
A Texas Salesman
A young guy from Texas moves to California and goes to a big department store looking for a job.
The manager asks him, "Do you have any sales experience?"
"Yeah, I was a salesman back home in Texas."
Well, the boss liked the kid, so he gave him the job. "You start tomorrow. I'll come down after we close and see how you did."
His first day on the job was rough but he got through it. After the store was locked up, the boss came down. "How many sales did you make today?"
"One."
"Just one? Our sales people average 20 or 30 sales a day. How much was the sale for?"
"$79,237.64."
His boss is astounded. "$79,237.64? What did you sell him?"
"Well, first I sold him a small fish hook. Then I sold him a medium fish hook. Then I sold him a larger fish hook. Then I sold him a new fishing rod. Then I asked him where he was going fishing, and he said down at the coast, so I told him he was gonna need a boat, so we went down to the boat department, and I sold him that twin engine SeaRay. Then he said he didn't think his Honda Civic would pull it, so I took him down to the automotive department and sold him that 4X4 Suburban."
The boss said, "A guy came in here to buy a fish hook and you sold him a boat and truck?"
The young man replied, "No, he came in here to buy a box of tampons for his wife, and I said, 'Well, since your weekend's shot, you might as well go fishing.'"
There's plenty of fish in the sea(fixed)
But until I find one I'm just stuck holding my rod
Fishing & girlfriends
Fishing and girlfriends are exactly alike, there may be plenty of fish in the sea, but until i find one, i'm stuck here holding my rod
You can explore a rod pins reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean a rod hammer dad jokes. There are also a rod puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
Why do priests love to go fishing with kids?
So they have someone to hold their rod.
Two men are fishing from a bridge...
When one man notices a f**... procession. He quietly sets down his fishing rod, takes of his hat and bows his head. When the procession is out of sight he picks up his pole and continues fishing. The other man turns to him and says, "wow. I never knew you had a feely side in you" to which the first man replies, "it's the least I could've done, afterall, we have been married for forty years."
What sound does a red metal rod make when it hits a white metal rod?
*PINK!*
A Russian and a Ukrainian go fishing together. They catch a talking goldfish, and she grants them 3 wishes if they let her go
The Russian Says: We Used My Fishing Rod, So I Get First 2 Wishes.
First: I Want All The Capitalists Out Of My Glorious Country.
Second: I Want A Big Wall Around Russia, Nobody Can Cross.
Then Ukrainian Has A Dialogue With The Fish
- Is The Wall Done?
- Yes
- Is It Strong And Durable?
- Yes
- Nobody Can Climb It?
- Nobody
- And Nobody But Moscovites Inside?
- Yes
- Great! Then Fill It Up With s**... Up To The Edges
How do you catch a steroidal fish?
With A-Rod.
What do you call two guys holding up drapery?
Kurt and Rod
Girlfriends and fishing are similar
There are many fish in the sea, but till you hook one, you're just holding your rod.
Most people tell me there are many fish in the sea.
So till i catch one imma play with my rod
Engineers
One day, a mechanical engineer, electrical engineer, chemical engineer, and computer engineer were driving down the street in the same car when it broke down. The mechanical engineer said, "I think a rod broke." The chemical engineer said, "The way it sputtered at the end, I think it's not getting enough gas." The electrical engineer said, "I think there was a spark and something's wrong with the electrical system." All three turned to the computer engineer and said, "What do you think?" The computer engineer said, "I think we should all get out and then get back in."
Why couldn't the lightning rod go play with its friends?
Because it was grounded.
On the bright side
selfie sticks are also lightning rods.
Have you heard the joke about the steel rod?
No? Let metal you.
What do you call two men hanging from a window?
Kurt n Rod
What do you get if you mix plutonium with a fishing rod?
Nuclear fission
How are welders like prostitutes?
You usually find them in awkward positions screaming for more rod and more money.
What is the fastest speed a woman can go ?
68, because when she turns 69 she blows a rod.
I was told that you catch more fish if you put maggots in your mouth for 5m before attaching them to your rod. Is this true?
I await your replies with baited breath.
There are plenty of fish in the sea...
...and they're easy to catch if you've got a big rod.
Heard this conversation passing by in college today.
Guy: Do you know why I'm such a good fisherman?
Girl: No why?
Guy: Because I've got a nice rod and I hook all the ladies with it.
Girl: I figured it was because you were a master baiter
What do you call two tall skinny guys looking out a window?
Curt n' Rod
Icefishing
An ice fisher makes a hole in the ice, puts his fishing rod in and suddenly he hears a voice "There are no fish here".
So he moves a bit further away, makes another hold, puts his lure in and hears again "There are no fish here".
He looks up and asks "God? Is that you"
The voice grumbles "No, d**..., I'm the ice rink groundskeeper".
Jane couldn't quite work out why she didn't like her husband's new hobby.
But as he grabbed his bait and rod for the fifth day in row, she new it seemed fishy.
A boyfriend is ending it up with his girlfriend on the phone......
Him: Babe, I'm breaking off with you. Your father threatened me yesterday.
Her: oh no! What did he say to you?
Him: he said "If you see my daughter ever again, I'll get a 12 inch iron rod and heat up half of it red hot and put the cold half up your a**..."
Her: why the cold half??
Him: so I won't be able to take it out!!
Why is s**... limited to 68mph?
At 69 you flip over and blow a rod.
