Laughter A Rated Jokes for Everyone for Fun and Frivolity
In Jamaica, a slice of pie costs $3.50. In the Bahamas, a slice of pie costs $5.50.
These are the pie rates of the Caribbean.
I asked a girl to rate me out of 10 the other day
She said "you're an 8 on a scale of 10"
I still don't understand why she wanted me to urinate on a skeleton
Why did Elon Musk go broke?
Because his car insurance rates were astronomical.
There Once Was A Poet Named Bates,
There Once Was A Poet Named Bates,
His poems weren't always first rate,
His first lines weren't bad, but the problem he had,
Was that he always tried to put too many syllables into the last line.
1 slice of apple pie will cost you $2.45 in Jamaica. A slice of apple pie costs $3.75 in Trinidad and the same slice costs $4.45 in Barbados.
And those are the Pie-Rates of the Caribbean.
Why don't aliens visit our solar system?
Terrible ratings. One star.
Whats Saudi Arabia's highest rated sitcom?
How I bought your mother
3.14% of sailors are...
π-rates.
A woman is in the hospital in a coma...
and the husband is in the waiting room. The doctor comes out and tells the husband every time he gets near her crotch, her heart rate increases, and tells the husband he believes oral sex will bring her out of the coma.
The husband enters the room. Shortly after, the doctor hears a flatline and rushes into the room, asking what happened. The husband replies, "I dont know, Doc. I think she choked."
The Robinhood app has a rating of 4.7 stars in the app store.
But current market conditions prevent us from allowing investors to add new stars. You may only remove stars until conditions improve.
Did you know that you can get a slice of lemon pie in cuba for $1.50 and in jamaica you can get key lime pie for $1.00?
Those are the pie rates of the carribean.
You can explore a rated rotten tomatoes reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean a rated rating rotten dad jokes. There are also a rated puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
Movie ratings are an indication of who gets the girl
* Rated G - the prince gets the girl.
* Rated PG - the hero gets the girl.
* Rated R - the villain gets the girl.
* Rated X - everyone gets the girl!
Girl if I had to rate you, I'd give you a 10
Oh the pH scale, because girl you are basic.
There Once Was A Poet Named Bates,
His poems weren't always first rate,
His first lines weren't bad, but the problem he had,
Was that he always tried to put too many syllables into the last line.
Why does Japan have a low obesity rate and a low birth rate?
They don't like Fat Man and Little Boy
Why was the Jazz movie rated R
Too much sax and violins
TIL Texas is called the lone star state
because it was the minimum allowed in a 5 star rating system
A slice of pie costs $3.50 in Barbados,
$3.00 in Saint Lucia, $2.50 in Belize, and $2 in Cuba.
Those are the pie rates of the Caribbean.
I saw an R-rated movie with no blood, no nudity and no profanity
It was a little overrated
3.14% of all sailors are
Pi-rates! (Have a great pi-day)
I was rated "number 1 most likely to not murder you in a cabin in a forest" in highschool.
I know, kind of a weird thing to be rated for but you won't find someone who disagrees.
Movie Ratings Explained
G: Nobody gets the girl.
PG: The good guy gets the girl.
R: The bad guy gets the girl.
X: Everybody gets the girl!
I went online and rated our Solar System
Gave it one star.
Exchange rate
I had a bunch of Canadian dollars I needed to exchange, so I went to
the currency exchange window at the local bank. Just one lady in front of me...an Asian lady who was trying to exchange yen for dollars and she was a little irritated. She asked the teller, 'Why it change? Yesterday, I get two hunat dolla fo yen. Today I get hunat eighty? Why it change?' The teller shrugged his shoulders and said, 'Fluctuations'. The Asian lady says, 'Fluc you white people, too'.
What's sexually transmitted and has a 100% death rate?
Life
A slice of pie is $2.50 in the Bahamas.
A slice of pie is $ 3.00 in Jamaica.
Those are the pie rates of the Caribbean.
Who's the only organization with a higher death rate than PETA?
The Make-A-Wish foundation.
You always hear about alpha males and beta males, but I'd prefer to be a gamma male
They have a higher rate of penetration...
Harry Potter movies should be rated R for the huge amount of cursing.
... i can find the door out.
The Avengers are over rated.
The Baltimore rioters destroyed half a city without any superpowers at all.
I asked my wife..
I asked my wife to rate my listening skills and she said,
"You're an 8 on a scale of 10."
I still don't get why she wanted me to urinate on a skeleton..
My friends asked me where they could get a decent coffee table and I said I could make one for them for $500. They were delighted and agreed to it. But when I eventually got it to them, they seemed really ungrateful.
I have no idea why, it was fantastic. It rated 100 different types of coffee from 1 -10 and was one of the best spreadsheets I've ever made.
Why were birth rates low in 1970?
You can't get pregnant during '69.
Meanwhile in business news...
...balloon prices are plummeting. Experts are putting it down to a poor inflation rate
Overheard in line for a movie...
Theater employee: "That's an R-rated movie. When's your birthday?"
Teenage boy: "October 12th."
Employee: "What year?"
Boy: "Every year."
