A Priest And A Rabbi Walk Into A Bar Jokes

A priest, a rabbi and a vicar walk into a bar. The barman says, "Is this some kind of joke?"

A Priest, a Rabbi and an Atheist walk into a bar...

They guy behind them says "You guys probably should have ducked"

So, This Blind Guy Walks Into a Bar...

And takes a seat in front of the bartender.
"Would you like to here a great blonde joke?" He asks.
The bartender leans in close and says,
"Well, the priest and rabbi to your right are blonde. The two cheerleaders to your left are blonde and, to top it all off, I'M blonde. You still want to tell that joke buddy?"
The blind guy takes a moment to think about it and says
"Nah. I'd rather not have to explain it five times."

Another tale from the bar.

A priest, a rabbi, a minister, a monkey, and a duck walk into a bar. The bartender looks up and says, "What is this, some kind of a joke?"

A nun, a priest, an Irishman, a Scotsman, a rabbi and a blonde walk into a bar.

The bartender looks at them and asks, "Is this some kind of a joke?"

A priest and a rabbi walk initially a bar.

The priest turns to the rabbi and says, "Hey, did ya hear the one about us doing this?"

Well, this is awkward...

A priest and a Rabbi walk into a bar. They both look left and right and to their surprise see nothing but Mexicans. After this moment of confusion, the Rabbi turns to the priest and says "You know what? I think we're in the wrong joke...."

A priest, a rabbi, and an atheist walk right into a bar.

The Buddhist ducks.

A midget, a rabbi, and a priest walk into a bar.

The priest shouts "Ow! My god forsaken head!" The rabbi shouts "Oi, my head!" The midget says "I don't know what you're complaining about. I just hit my head and I ain't crying as much as you."

A priest, a nun, a rabbi, a blonde, a brunette, a redhead, a farmer, his daughter, a horse, a black guy, a white guy, and an asian guy all walk into a bar.

The bartender says, "What is this? A joke?"

A priest, rabbi, and shaman walk into a bar...

A priest, a rabbi, and a shaman all walk into a bar; except there is no rabbi or shaman and it's not in a bar it's my home and the priest is molesting me and the priest isn't a priest he's my father. My father molested me as a child.

An Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman walk into a bar

They walk up to the bar and order a drink, but the bartender refuses; "We don't serve jokes in here". The men walk off in disappointment. Next, a Priest, a Rabbi and a Vicar walk into the bar. "We don't serve jokes in here", repeats the barman. So the three walk out in disgust. Finally a chicken walks into the bar. "We don't serve jokes in here". The chicken replies "What? Why not? Well where am I supposed to get a drink?". The bartender answers "Try the pub across the road".

Did you guys hear the one where the Imam joins the priest and rabbi walking into the bar?

That's because muslims can't drink.

A Priest and a Rabbi Walk Into A Bar

The rabbi turns to the priest and says: "I get the feeling someone is going to make a joke out of this."

A rabbi a priest and a crocodile walk into a bar

Chuck Norris mother f**........whoooooooooooooo

A priest and a rabbi walk into a bar....

Now that I've got your attention,
BOOBIES!

A priest, a rabbi, and a pastor walked into a bar.

And the bartender said, "What is this, some kinda joke?"

A Priest a rabbi and an Imam meet up at a restaurant

The priest looks at the other to and asks, "hey when we're done, you want to walk into a bar?"

A priest, a rabbi and a minister walk into a library....

The librarian stops them. "What, do you think this is a BAR?"

A Priest a Rabbi and a Scientologist walk into a bar...

The Priest orders an orange juice, the Rabbi orders an apple juice and the Scientologist orders a lawsuit for libel, slander and defamation.

A rabbi and a priest walk into a bar...

A rabbi and a priest walk into a bar, and one says to the other, "Hey, have you heard the one about us?"

This is My "classic" joke

A Catholic Priest, a Rabbi, and an Atheist walk into a bar. The bartender says, "Oh g**..., no! We don't like jokes in here and if you guys are a part of one, you're gonna have to leave right now!" So the catholic priest, rabbi, and atheist leave the bar and a chicken walks in. The bartender says, "OH COME ON! We don't serve CHICKENS in here!" The chicken says, "Do you know somewhere that does?" The bartender says, "Yeah.." The chicken asks, "Well, where is it?" The bartender says, "It's across the road."

A scientist and a h**... walk into a bar...

But find that they can't open the door due to an over-saturation of priests, rabbis, lawyers, and Irishmen inside.

A man walks into a parallel universe and sits down at the bar.

In comes a priest, a rabbi and a minister

a priest, rabbi and, caliphate walk into a bar

they woke up in the hospital with a concussion.

A priest, an Imam, and a rabbi walk into a bar.

A priest, an Imam, and a rabbi walk into a bar. Barman asks " What it's this? Some kind of joke?"

A priest, Rabbi, and Muslim Cleric walk into a bar...

The bartender looks up and goes, "what is this some sort of joke?"

A priest, a rabbi, and an imam walk into a bar...

OW! OW! OW!
"What's that bar doing there?"

A rabbi and a priest walk into a bar and say to the bartender:

Did you hear the one about us?

A horse walks into a bar...

The bartender says, "why the long face?" The horse screams, "I will end you!" And bites the bartender in the t**.... A priest, a nun, and a rabbi who were just approaching the entrance quietly turn and walk away as the horse shakes the bartender vigorously back and forth screaming, "why the floppy head?! Why the floppy head?!"

A blonde, a brunette and a redhead

...a doctor, a lawyer and an accountant, a Brit, a German and an American, a priest, a rabbi, two camels and a duck walk into a bar.
The bartender looks at them all and says, "What is this? Some kind of joke?"

A priest, a rabbi, and a World Series MVP walk into a bar...

The bartender stops them and says, No no no, what is this, some kind of joke?

A Priest, a Rabbi, and a Minister walk into a bar...

The bartender says "If you're not freaking out about Net Neutrality right now, you're not paying attention."

So a priest and a rabbi walk into a bar...

the priest got a concussion..but the rabbi is ok.

A Rabbi, an atheist, and a Priest walk into a bar.

The bartender says, "What?! If this is some sort of joke you have to leave!" So they all walk out.
A few minutes later a chicken walks into the bar. The bartender yells, "Come on! We don't even serve chickens!"
The chicken asks, "Do you know anywhere that does?"
The bartender replies, "Yeah... It's right across the road."

Chuck Norris walks into a bar...

He immediately unleashes a vicious roundhouse kick, decapitating a rabbi, a priest, and a Buddhist in one blow. At the next table, he beard-punches a blonde, a brunette and a redhead, killing all three. Three bouncers, an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Pollack, were dismembered in seconds.
Chuck Norris' has only 1 weakness: He can't tell a joke.

A priest, a rabbi, and a homeless man walk into a bar

"What is this, some sort of joke?" asked the bartender

A priest and a rabbit walk into a bar.

The bartender asked, "wait, isn't that supposed to be a rabbi?"

A chicken crosses the road, meets a priest

and a rabbi, they walk into a bar. Inside the bar they realize that there are no people waiting in line to drink punch.

Two guys walk into a bar...

They look around, and see that at one table, there's a rabbi, a priest, and an imman. At another there's an Irishman, a Scottsman, and a Brit. At a third there's a blonde, a brunette, and a readhead. Up at the bar, sits a dog with a bandaged paw.

Guy looks to his friend and says, 'What is this, some kind of joke?'

A man is sitting at the bar looking down and out. Bartender says what's wrong with you? Guy says life feels like a joke

And in walks a priest a rabbi, and a monk.

A priest, a pope, a rabbi, and a 8 year old girl walk into a bar

Just kidding, it's the girls bedroom!

A doctor, priest, policeman, dog, Christian, comedian, blind man, Rabbi, firefighter, and Amy Schumer walk into a bar.

The bartender sighs and says, "My life is a joke."

I recently had a wakeup call when I had a priest, then a rabbi, then a minister all tell me I had a drinking problem.

Boy, I'm glad they all walked into that bar when they did.

A Rabbi, a Preist, and a Monk walk into a bar

The Rabbi orders a drink and says, I'm sick of hearing the same old jokes about us recycled over and over again to which the Priest replies, I completely agree! The template is just dragged out and overused. I'd like to see someone try to make a joke about the three of us in a bar that is new. The monk sits back for a moment and then says how about this one?

A priest, a rabbi, and a hipster walk into a bar...

The hipster says "man, this set-up is soooo played-out. I'm not gonna ruin my cred by staying, so I'm outie 5000." He then gets on his fixed-gear bicycle and rides it home to his loft that he pays for with money from his trust fund. He reads Bukowski by tap light in his futon until he falls asleep. And he lived ironically ever after.

A pastor, a priest and a rabbi walk onto a bar.

Since it wasn't foretold in scripture, they didn't listen to the people telling them to duck.

An Irishman, a Frenchman, two conspiracy theorists, a priest, three cheerleaders, Elon Musk, an atheist and a rabbi walked into a bar.

Ah, the good old days.

A Priest and a Rabbi walk into the bar....

They both pass and use their legal credentials to better help their congregations.

A guy walks into a bar...

…And says to the bartender, *knock-knock*!
The bartender says, What, is that some kind of joke?
The guy replies, Take my wife, please!
The bartender yells, I've had it!
He storms out from behind the bar and kicks the duck and talking dog.
The blonde looks up in surprise and hides behind the priest.
The bartender grabs the rabbi instead and throws him out, hitting the blind guy heading in.
The bartender hops on the horse and rides off.
A time traveler walks into a bar.

A rabbi, priest, and an imam walk into a bar.

"Never mind, you guys wouldn't get it," the barkeep says.

A man walks into a bar...

A man, his wife, a group of nuns, a priest, a rabbi, Little Johnny, an American, a Russian, an Irishman, an Indian, a blonde, a brunette, a redhead, a cop, a king, a lawyer, a politician, and a dog walk into a bar.
The man exclaims,
"This has to be a joke!"