The Best 22 A Man A Wife A Cop Jokes

Following is our collection of A Man A Wife A Cop jokes which are very funny. There are some a man a wife a cop doctor jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud. Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these a man a wife a cop operator puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Funny A Man A Wife A Cop Jokes and Puns

An old couple gets pulled over and...

Lady cop:"May I see you license and registration sir?"

Old man:"Ugh, what did she say?"

Old wife:"She needs to see you license and registration dear."

The old man hands it to the lady cop and...

Lady cop:"Oh, I see you are from New York. I used to have a lover from New York, he was the worst lover I ever had."

Old man:"Ugh, what did she say?"

Old wife:"Nothing dear, she thinks she used to know you."

A cop knocks on a man's front door late one night

and he asks to see a picture of the man's wife. "Sure," he says, a bit puzzled. The man produces a picture from his wallet and hands it to the officer. The officer takes one look and takes a long, deep breath.
With difficulty, he looks the man in the eyes and says, "Sir, I'm sorry to tell you this, but your wife's been hit by a truck."
The man replies, "I know, but she's got a great personality and she can really cook."

A cop pulls a guy over for speeding...

Cop: Why were you going so fast?
Man: Well my wife ran off with a cop...I thought you were trying to give her back

Old man driving alone

An old man is driving along the road humming to himself.
Suddenly he hears a police siren and a motorcycle cop pulls him over.
He can't imagine what could be wrong.
"Sir, do you realize that you left your wife behind in the gas station?"
"I did? I am so relieved."
"You're relieved you drove off without your wife?"
The gent nods.
"But didn't you sense something was wrong?"
"Yes, I thought I'd gone deaf."

An old couple gets pulled over and...

Lady cop - "May I see you license and registration sir?"

Old man - "ugh, what did she say?"

Old wife - "She needs to see you license and registration dear."

**The old man hands it to the lady cop and...**

Lady cop - "Oh, I see you are from New York. I used to have a lover from New York, he was the worst lover I ever had."

Old man - "ugh, what did she say?"

Old wife - "Nothing dear, She thinks she used to know you."


A man is driving with his wife...

They drive past a cop when suddenly, the man's wife falls out of the car. The cop pulls the car over to talk to the man.
The cop says: "Sir, did you know your wife fell out of the car back there?"
The man responds: "Oh thank god! I though I was going deaf!"

A man is walking home late at night when he hears a woman's voice….

...from the shadow call out, Twenty bucks?

The man takes the mystery woman up on the offer. They've been going at it for a few minutes when a police officer points his flashlight at them and demands to know what's going on.

Do you mind? I'm making love to my wife, replies the man.

Sorry, says the cop, I didn't know.

The man replies, Neither did I, until you turned on the flashlight.

A man was pulled over for speeding...

A man was pulled over for speeding. The officer walks up to the car and says to the driver, "Look, I've had a long day and my shift is almost over. If you can give me a good reason why you're speeding, I'll let it slide"

The man replies, "well, officer, my wife left me a few weeks ago for a cop. I thought you were trying to bring her back."

A 65 year old man driving through the city and his car is weaving all over the road. Eventually a cop pulls him over.

"Did you know," says the cop, "that a few intersections back, your wife fell out of your car?"

"Oh, thank heavens," sighs the senior. "For a minute there, I thought I'd gone deaf."

A cop pulls over a man for speeding...

"Sir." He begins.
"You were recorded going 100 miles an hour, can you tell me why?"
"Well officer." The man says.
"Yesterday my wife ran away with a cop."
The cop is confused.
"What's that got to do with anything."

"I thought you were him trying to give her back."

A man gets pulled over for speeding

and evading the police. The officer asks him why he didn't stop. "Well," says the man, "my wife ran off with a cop last week and I was afraid you were trying to bring her back!"

You can explore a man a wife a cop honey reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean a man a wife a cop patrolman dad jokes. There are also a man a wife a cop puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


No difference

COP - Why didn't you save your wife from drowning?
MAN - I didn't know she was drowning!
COP - But wasn't she screaming?
MAN - She was ALWAYS SCREAMING!!!

A cop pulls over a speeding driver...

"Do you know why I pulled the over?" The cop asks the driver. The driver responds: "yeah I was going a little fast there." The cop nods and says "well I'm in a good mood today so if you give me a good reason for why you're speeding, I'll let you go ." The man thinks for a second and then says: "my wife ran off with a cop a few weeks ago, and when I saw the red lights flashing, I thought he was trying to give her back."

Walking home drunk

The man was in no shape to drive, so he wisely left his car parked and walked home. As he was walking unsteadily along, he was stopped by a policeman. "What are you doing out here at 2 A.M.?" asked the officer.
"I'm going to a lecture." The man said.
"And who is going to give a lecture at this hour?" the cop asked.
"My wife," said the man.

A man is walking to his car late at night

When he sees a woman on a shady corner. He goes up to ask if she's alright and she responds

"I'm a hooker, are you interested?"

The man decides to live a little and takes her up on her offer and they go back to his car and go at it like rabbits.

Some time during, a cop pulls up and knocks on the window.

"Excuse me sir what exactly are you doing?"

The man answers "I'm having sex with my wife"

The cop replies with "I apologize, I didn't know."

The man responds with "Me neither."

A man is driving down the road and gets pulled over

When the cop gets to the car, he tells the man, Excuse me, sir. But it seems that your wife fell out of the car a few miles back. The man lets out a sigh, Oh, thank God. I thought I went deaf.

A cop sees a car driving slowly and wiggly, changing lanes for no reason and so on

He pulls the car over, a man and a woman sit in it.

Cop: "I had to pull you over, you can't drive like that!"

Man: "I'm sorry, I've drank a little bit to much..."

Cop: "That's not an excuse to let your wife drive!"

A policeman is trying to pull a car over

He follows the car for miles with the lights and siren before the driver finally pulls over.
"What the hell were you thinking?!", asks the cop.
"Well", says the man, "thirty years ago my wife ran off with a cop and I thought you might be trying to give her back!"

A policeman pulls over a guy for speeding

The officer walks up to him and says "look buddy, its 16:50 on a Friday night and I knock off in 10 mins. I really don't want to be filling in paperwork so tell you what? Give me a good excuse for speeding away from me, and I'll let you go. The man thinks for a second and says "my wife ran off with a cop last week. I was afraid you were trying to give her back "

"Have a nice weekend, sir!"


Two cops are called to a building.

-Central, we have a homicide here, a man was killed by his wife after he walked on the recently mopped floor

-Have you made an arrest?

-No! the floor's still wet!

A police man finds a couple sitting in the park late night.

Suprised , he asks them what they are doing there .

The man replies that they both are married.

' Then why don't you go home and spend some time there together ? ' the cop asked.

The man replies ' Yeah , but who the hell would convince my wife to allow her ? '

a drunk joke

a drunk man was pulled over by a cop on the high way

cop:where are you going at this time

drunk man: im going to a lecture

cop:from where are you going to get a lecture at this time of the night

drunk man: from my wife

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the a man a wife a cop lady jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working a man a wife a cop doc piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

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